by Kathryn Shay
She locked up, turned off all but a dimmed light in the kitchen, then went into her bedroom. She’d lie on top of the bed and wait until he woke. Alone now, she let a few tears fall for the children who wouldn’t have a future.
She roused. The clock facing her said three a.m. Rafe!
She felt something move on the bed and turned to find him there. He was on his back, his arm flung over his eyes. She could smell the scent of soap on him. She whispered, “Are you awake?”
“Yeah. I took a shower.”
When he said no more, she moved in close. His arm went around her. Usually, after a while, Rafe would talk to her about his losses. Sometimes, he couldn’t, though. She was the same way.
“I can’t get the images of that toddler—a boy—out of my head,” he finally uttered. “He looked like he was asleep.”
“Yeah?”
“I knew right away it was too late.”
“That must have been awful.”
“I found out later Ruggero got the infant who died out. He was a wreck. I, um, didn’t show him the cap. I don’t even know why I kept it.”
“I’m sure it’s hard for all of your group.”
“We stayed together a while, but everybody was so pooped, we eventually went home. I came here, instead.”
“I’m glad. You can always come here, Rafe, no matter what.”
He kissed her head. Held her tighter. “I want to work things out between us, Kate. I decided that before you came to the firehouse today. But tonight…We don’t have as much time together, or with Tommy, as we think. Certainly not enough to be screwed up.”
Kate smiled. “Um, Rafe, we have less time than you think to figure this out.”
His body jerked. “Oh, my God, did you lie about the flu? Is something seriously wrong with you?”
“No, no, that’s not what I meant.” She took his hand and placed it on her stomach. “I’m not sick with the flu, either. I’m pregnant, with your child. Again.”
He bolted to a seated position. The light from the moon cast him in shadows. He leaned over and pulled her pajamas down to reveal her stomach. She laughed. “You’re not going to see anything yet.”
“I guess.” He laid his head there anyway, and she guessed he was savoring new life.
Then he sat back up. “What? When? How do you feel about this?”
“Truthfully, I’ve been torn about it.”
“Because I couldn’t commit?”
“Uh-huh.”
“But you’re still here.” He gripped her hand. “You didn’t leave this time. Promise me you’ll never run from me again.”
“I promise. So, what? I hope it’s a girl. When? That um, encounter in the kitchen that first morning. It’s the only time we didn’t use a condom.”
Reaching over her, he turned on a light, stared down into her face. His eyes had lost that hollow look. It might come back later, probably would. But right now, she was glad she could give him some respite.
“You’re good with this now?”
“I am. What about you? I was afraid you’d feel trapped.”
“Hell no. I want this. I need it.” He frowned. “More than I knew possible.”
“Yeah, that’s how I felt about Tommy.”
“Does he know?”
“Not yet. I had to tell Mitch and Megan, though. That’s why I came to talk to you today.”
“When I was going to tell you I wanted a life with you.”
“Yeah, I decided I had to have faith in us.”
“Me, too.” He kissed her nose. “What about going back to the fire department?”
“The fire department can wait, love.” She patted her tummy. “This little one can’t.”
Epilogue
Five weeks later
The Hidden Cove Lake house, where Rafe and his family had spent holidays and summers with the Casella cousins, loomed before them as they took the long driveway up to the front. The sun sparkled off the gray shutters, and the dark gray building shot up three stories.
“It’s more modern than I thought it would be.” Kate hadn’t seen the house because the families had spilt before she and Rafe had gotten together.
“Yeah, I remember it different.” He reached over and covered her belly with his hand. “How’s my little princess doing?”
“She’s not a princess,” Tommy piped up with from the back seat. “She’s a strong woman.”
Kate chuckled. “You’re so right, Tom.”
“Let’s go,” Rafe said. “Find out what happens with this invitation.”
Tommy was the first to exit and then Rafe. Kate took her time because she was still in the danger zone of the first trimester. They waited for her on the other side of the car.
Together, they climbed the big stone steps to level ground, but instead of going to the porch, Rafe angled his chin forward. “I’m sure they’re out back. Let’s go around.”
A stone path circled the side of the house, and when they got to the lakefront, Rafe smiled. This had been one of his favorite spots. Beyond the spacious wooded deck, a rectangular pool glistened in the sun. The upper deck looked out over the glory of Hidden Lake.
He remembered vividly pushing Ronan off the dock into the water, dunking each other, and later, taking the boat out with their teenage girlfriends. He sincerely hoped Ronan would be here.
And Bridget Sullivan, his cousins’ mother, wouldn’t.
People sat on the deck, and Ali’s kids dunked their feet in the pool. “Can I go with Mikey and Mattie?” Tom asked.
Kate had made sure her son had swimming lessons early on so she said, “Yeah. But don’t go in the water until you know I’m watching.”
Tommy skipped off.
And she and Rafe climbed the three steps to the deck. The first to spot him was Hayley. Bounding up, she rushed to them. “Rafe.” She hugged him tight. Long.
“I feel it too, Red.” He used her old nickname and confessed how much he missed her.
When she drew back, he was still stunned by her looks, which he hadn’t had any time to study at their brief meeting at Badges. Skinny gave way to curvaceous in her one-piece, peach suit. Popping red hair had turned a beautiful shade of auburn and her green eyes were glistening in the sun.
She glanced at Kate. “You must be Kate.” She nodded to his wife’s stomach. “How far along?”
“Nearly three months. I’m already showing, I know, but moms of second babies usually are at this point.”
A man on the other side of the deck was watching them through Ray Bans. “Is that Finn?” Rafe asked.
“Yeah, he’s still reticent as hell.” Their middle cousin had been shy all his life.
Rafe said, “Excuse me.” He crossed to the railing. “Hi, Finn.” The man’s hair had gotten longer and was still light brown, with a ton of blond strands. Being out on the water was his favorite place.
“Hey, buddy.”
Rafe initiated an embrace. “So glad we’re all together like this.”
Finn clasped onto him. “Me, too.”
When they drew back, Rafe asked, “What are you doing now?”
“I own a bookstore in New York.”
“I’m not surprised. You were always reading, even out on the boat.”
“I know you’re still a firefighter.” He nodded to the other side of the deck. “So, that’s your wife.”
“Uh-huh. All of a few weeks.” He smiled over at Kate. “She’s something else.” Finn didn’t respond. “Are you married? Any women in your life?”
“No to wedded bliss or anybody on the scene. I’m not good with women like you and Ronan.”
“Speaking of him…is he here?”
“No, but we got big news from his lawyer.”
“What?”
“He bought this house. And signed over two-thirds of it to me and Hayley.”
“No shit? He must have money.”
“A lot more than us. We have our trust funds, but he was a star for ten years.”
“Are you and Hayley still close?”
“We live together in Dad’s old apartment in New York. He left it to all three of us.”
“Any personal news at all on Ronan?”
“Nope. After Dad died, he made a clean break.” He glanced over Rafe’s shoulder. “I miss him.”
“I bet.”
The rest of the cousins had gathered at the big table. Rafe said, “Let’s go join them, buddy.”
Finn’s phone buzzed. “I’ll be right there.” As Rafe walked away he heard, “Hi, there. I’ve been worried about you.”
No women on the scene? Bullshit. Still, Rafe crossed to Kate who was standing at the far railing, staring out over the water.
He came up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist. She said, “Why Finn, isn’t this a little soon?”
“Funny.” He kissed her neck. “What do you think? We’ve been married nearly six weeks.”
She picked up his hand and kissed his wide gold band, that matched hers. “I think marriage is wonderful.”
“You don’t mind living at my house?”
“I always considered it my house too. Besides, Tommy loves being near his cousins, seeing Nana so much.”
“And the kindergarten thing worked out.”
“I told you we could do that before we got together.”
“I know. But this way is better.”
She turned in his arms. “Everything’s been better.”
“I know, babe. You even got an assignment for the summer in the fire department.”
“I love helping Megan with the camp.”
“Mitch loves it, too. Megan has less pressure on herself.”
“I adore them both. I’m glad I can take on some of her responsibilities.”
“Will you ever go back on the line?”
“I think I will. Not right away, of course. But I love firefighting. Pregnancy got in the way.” She arched a brow. “Twice.”
“Hmm, I’m so glad.”
“What about you?”
“You know how happy I am about us becoming a family.”
“Yeah, I know.
“And I’m glad the consolidation got tabled. I think Mayor Daniels was affected by the daycare fire.”
“She was there. I heard her on TV.”
“Yeah. She’s a good woman, I think.”
She laid her head on his chest. “I’m so happy we’re together.”
“Me too, and this time it’s forever.” He hesitated. Sometimes he still got insecure. “Promise?”
“I promise. I’m never leaving you again.”
“That’s what I wanted to hear, love.”
~oOo~
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Author’s Note
I was so glad to return to my firefighter series with TAKE ME BACK. I especially enjoyed writing the fire scenes again, I guess because I haven’t written about them in a while. Did you find the rappelling scenes and the daycare scenes exciting? I hope so. I did have to do some research on high angle rescues. But other details seemed at my fingertips.
Kate Cassidy was a tough cookie to create. Because of her earlier life, I wanted her to vulnerable and strong at the same time. And can you imagine leaving the love of your life because of your fears, then having those fear realized in the man she marries instead? It’s irony, yes. But so sad. Yet, Kate doesn’t succumb to the tragedy that befalls her. Instead, she goes back to find Rafe. At first, she’s tentative (who wouldn’t be?) but as the story goes on, she stood up for herself, despite her guilt over leaving him. No dormant heroines in Kathryn Shay books. She’s also not afraid of hard work, something I admire in people.
Rafe Casella turned out to be a sexy, caring, brave and sensitive (sometimes) man. One of my favorite emotional segments in the book is when he finds out about Tommy, looks up at Kate, and says, “No, Kate, you couldn’t have done this to me.” I hope you could tell right away that he never got over her. But what can he do now? He’s built a life without her. And he doesn’t trust her. Even when he admits he still loves Kate, he’s stubborn about that trust, and he goes bit too far in that. But he’s a good father, a great firefighter and eventually, a good partner for Kate.
I hope you enjoyed another trip to Hidden Cove. Please let me know how you felt about this story.
Kathy
COMING SOON:
The Casella Cousins, six novellas about a group of very interesting relatives to the characters in TAKE ME BACK. Here’s a peek at their stories:
Hayley Casella loves her job as an Assistant District Attorney—everything but facing her nemesis in court, Paul Covington, who she’s fought with over cases for a year. A hotshot lawyer, Paul left New York a long time ago, but has come back to the city and now works at a prestigious firm. When they begin to have feelings for each other, both their personal and professional lives become very complicated.
Seth Casella is a truly good guy. Or so everybody thinks. He’s got a darker side, that came out with his old girlfriend, Julianne Ford, which splits them apart permanently. But Seth can’t forget her, even though she contends she’s over him. Will they ever be able to heal the wounds he’s inflicted on their relationship? As Seth deals with a very difficult case at Legal Aid, he learns some valuable lessons about love and loyalty.
Finn Casella is a mild-mannered guy, who owns a bookstore in New York. He’s a very successful book seller, but a failure at love. Has his mother, the controlling, unkind widow Bridget Sullivan, influenced his life even in this way? The truth will come out when he meets someone who captures his heart.
Alessia Casella Benatti married in her teens and was widowed way too fast, leaving her on her own with three children. She decides to finish her degree so she can finally have a career. But when she meets dashing Dylan Davidson, a fellow student, she begins to think of love and marriage again.
Police Officer Gideon Casella is a hard man. A divorce two years ago still makes him grumpy and out of sorts. But he’s a top cop, which is why he thinks he’ll get the promotion to sergeant that’s being announced soon. It comes as a shock to him that the brass gives the position to Annabelle Sanders, a tough-as-nails female in the department. When he is assigned to work for her—under her—on a special task force, he’s furious at the department, at her, and at life in general.
Ronan Casella left home at eighteen. He could never tolerate his mother, and he was sorry to abandon his sister and brother, but he couldn’t stay at home any longer after his father dies and his girlfriend’s car accident. He heads to Hollywood where he becomes a television and movie star, then disappears after ten years from that job, too. The mystery as to what’s happened to Ronan in the intervening decade is revealed in book 6.
Books in the HIDDEN COVE FIREFIGHTERS Series
AFTER THE FIRE––After being trapped in a fire, the Malvaso brothers and sister decide to make changes in their lives. Follow Mitch Malvaso as he struggles to get closer to his kids and out of a doomed marriage. Jenn, his sister, wants to have a baby and asks Grady O’Connor, her best friend, to be the father.
ON THE LINE––Fire Chief Noah Callahan and Albany Fire Investigator Eve Woodward butt heads while she investigates the cause of accidents at Hidden Cove fire scenes. Who knew they’d fall in love? And watch Zach Malvaso become the kind of man he wants to be with feisty firefighter Casey Brennan.
NOTHING MORE TO LOSE–– Injured 9/11 firefighter, Ian Woodward (Eve’s twin), and a disgraced cop, Rick Ruscio, struggle to salvage their lives with the help of the women who love them.
AMERICA’S BRAVEST—Six Novellas
The men and women on another Rescue Squad in the Hidden Cove Fire Department have complicated personal relationships due to the nature of their jobs. Each of the six novellas details the love and work of one firefighter, but the stories
are tied together with an arson case and a blogger out to discredit them.
IT HAD TO BE YOU––Beckett Sloan is an Iraq and Afghanistan veteran who comes home with PTSD. He joins the fire department and finds the love of his life in army nurse Lela Allen, but his demons keep them apart.
CHASING THE FIRE—Three Novellas
In another set of novellas, CHASING THE FIRE, the past catches up with three brave firefighters and they must wrestle with it to find love and contentment.
THE FIRE INSIDE—Fire Department Psychologist Jack Harrison has spent his life helping firefighters in Hidden Cove deal with a variety of personal and professional issues. Now, after a one night stand with Tess Righetti from the Rockford Fire Department, he needs help in dealing with this feisty Captain.
A BURNING PASSION—Dan Collins and Lucy Coretta have been friends for years. But when he divorced his wife, they finally find each other. But their whole life is thrown off balance when he inherits a boatload of money, which brings problems from his ex-wife.
TAKE ME BACK— Captain Rafe Casella has finally gotten over Kate Cassidy’s desertion six years ago. Until she comes back to town, begging for a reunion. He’d kick her out of his life if he could, but she brings with her his five-year-old son who he didn’t know existed. As Rafe struggles to avoid Kate and spend time with the boy, he’s forced into contact with her. Old emotions roil out of them both, as well as sizzling desire. Both threaten Rafe’s hard won distance to the woman who almost destroyed him.
