by Elise Ramsay
“Gawain.” In that moment, shame nearly swallowed her whole.
Catriona studied Gawain’s face for signs of anger and found none. Wondering what Kyle had said to Gawain on that day just weeks ago when he had banished him, Catriona felt a guilty blush rise up in her cheeks. At that moment, Gawain bowed his head a little, casting his eyes away from her. So, he had also been accused, just as she had. How much she wanted him to know that she had been powerless. That he might think she had started the lie was enough to break her heart.
“Gawain, I want you to know I had naught to do with this. I wasnae involved except, perhaps, as another victim.”
“Ach, for God’s sake, Catriona, I know that! I know you well, as I know your brother well. Too well to fall for it, although the purpose still escapes me.”
“Gawain, it was nothing more than a show of strength and power. Over me, not you. You were just a casualty of battle.”
There was so much more she had wanted to say, but Catriona was suddenly reminded that they were not alone. Gawain’s silent companion had respectfully drawn back a little, but surely not enough that he hadn’t heard every word that had passed between them.
Looking over at the man, she studied him as briefly as she could. He was a handsome man, just a little older than she. His hair was pleasingly fair and sat well against his lightly browned skin. The man was well turned out, his clothing identified him as a man of some standing. Catriona quickly reasoned he was not from this area if he was such a man. He did not remind her of any local family at all. The man smiled a little knowingly at her, and Catriona realized she had been staring just a shade too long.
“I’m Darach Abernethy.” He inclined his head in greeting.
Catriona did not know of any family called Abernethy in these parts, she had been right, he was not from the Western Highlands.
“Catriona Sinclair.” She nodded back.
Albeit fleeting, Catriona thought she saw a look of recognition in his face. So, he knew of her? Or, at least, her kin. Suspecting that this Darach Abernethy had been furnished with her details by Gawain, she looked at her friend inquisitively.
“So,” she began, coolly, “Where did you go to after... after...” Catriona could not finish.
“I’m staying on a farm locally. I’ve got work there.”
“And, you’re well?” Despite her suspicions beginning to gnaw at her, Catriona still cared for the welfare of her only childhood friend.
“Aye, don’t I look well?” His laugh settled her a little.
“Aye, you do, Gawain. So, where abouts is this farm?”
“It’s on the Kincaid lands.” Gawain tried to be matter of fact, but failed miserably.
Catriona’s heart began to thud once more. This man, this Abernethy, who was he? What was he to the Kincaid Clan?
“Don’t look like that, Catriona. You’ll never have anything to fear from me, as long as we both live.”
“Aye, I know that Gawain. It’s not you I’m a-feared of, it’s him!” She nodded wildly at Darach. Darach merely appeared to be amused.
“And why should you suddenly fear me so, lass?” He was smiling at her, though she could not read his intention there.
“How are you connected with the Kincaid?” Her sudden directness pleased Darach in a way he could not explain. The lass was scared, for certain, but there was something else there. It was a defiance which was so strong, he pictured her pulling him from his horse and kicking him. The thought made him laugh out loud.
“The question is funny?” she demanded. Catriona knew there was little point in running. If she was in the company of a clansman of the Kincaid, it was already too late. Catriona had long heard tales of what these evil men would do to her if they had her in their clutches.
“No, you’re right. Not funny at all. I am the nephew of Lachlan Kincaid. My Ma was Lachlan’s sister. Does that answer your question adequately?”
Catriona stared at him, not knowing what else to say. She had never heard anyone in her Clan talk of a Darach Abernethy. His accent was different too, not quite the same as any Highlander she had ever known.
“Where are you from?”
“Well, you are demanding, aren’t you?”
“Aye, I am.” Catriona could feel her years of haughtiness returning to her.
“Well, lass, I’m from the Lowlands. I am, of course, a part of the Clan my own father hails from, the Abernethys.” He bowed a little, making her feel inexplicably angry.
“Where in the Lowlands?” Her tone made Darach laugh out loud once more.
“From Kinross, south of Perth. Is my interrogation over yet?”
“Aye, it is.”
“Listen, I am aware of the feud, and who wouldnae be? But I have no argument with you, lass. I am just out for a bit of hunting with my guide here.” He nodded towards Gawain.
“He speaks the truth Catriona. The Kincaid Clan are maybe not quite as you have been told.”
“Oh, Aye?”
“Aye. They have helped me these last weeks. I see them in a different way. There was no reason for them to help me, yet I now have a roof and work. It was not an easy thing to be cast adrift from everything I had ever known Catriona.”
“I know. I know Gawain, and I’m sorry for it.”
“Ach, we both know you have nothing to be sorry for. But that brother of yours...” He left the sentence hanging in the space between them. Catriona was so torn. Sitting atop her horse, facing one man who was her friend and another who was, undoubtedly, her enemy, she felt almost compelled to defend her brother. Kyle was her kin, after all, and Gawain seemed almost to be threatening.
Yet, Kyle hated her. He would treat her like the lowest form of life for the rest of her life. Clan ties were stronger than Catriona had ever imagined, and she hated herself for her weakness. In fact, at that moment, she hated the Highlands and its own wee laws of vengeance and compensation. She hated its traditions and its rough justice. How much she felt like she had been set adrift on the open sea, all alone.
“Mistress Sinclair.” Darach began. Catriona looked up at him fiercely, expecting to see scorn and mockery on his face. Not seeing it there, she said nothing.
“We have set off to a very bad beginning, you and I, and I apologize for it,” Darach said.
Darach looked so sincerely at her that Catriona almost believed him. He went on.
“Please believe that I bear you no ill will. In fact, I am sure there is naught about you which would ever cause the Kincaid’s to seek you out. Gawain is right, they have taken him in happily.”
Aye, to wrest as many secrets as they can from him.
“You have nothing to fear from me. My stay here, you will be pleased to discover, is a short one!” He smiled again, this time with a friendlier twinkle in his blue eyes.
Catriona was becoming exhausted by the range of emotions which had swamped her throughout their encounter. Finally, she settled upon believing Darach Abernethy for no other reason than she needed something to believe in. Instead of speaking, Catriona merely nodded at Darach. As she began to turn her horse, she looked at Gawain.
“I’ll need to get back before....”
“Before he realizes you’ve gone?” Gawain’s face was a picture of concern which almost brought Catriona to tears.
“Aye.” She said, resigned.
“As bad as that?”
“Worse.” With that, she heeled her horse away.
Chapter Six
Darach felt a sense of unease as Catriona rode away. Much of it, he knew, was guilt at his own mocking behavior. It had not been until the very end of their encounter that he realized how truly frightened she was. The lassie’s manner up until the very end had been the very coolest defiance, as far as he could tell. From the very beginning of Catriona and Gawain’s conversation, Darach had deduced that the lass was somehow at the root of his guide’s banishment from his Clan. There was only one thing Darach could think of that would lead a Chieftain to throw away one of his own
clansmen.
Darach felt a small stab of jealousy at the thought of a beauty such as Catriona in the arms of Gawain Dunbar. Darach wondered that he himself had never thought to ask his uncle how it was that Gawain had come to be banished in the first place. Surely, a man is not banished for naught? Perhaps, in shame, Gawain had not given the whole truth to Lachlan and Gunn Kincaid when they had first interviewed him. Feeling something of an interloper, Darach decided to gently coax the information from Gawain. After all, he had time. They had only had some brief sport before happening upon Catriona, and it was still before noon. They would be out for some time.
“Let’s stop to eat, shall we? I’m hungry.”
“Aye, I’m hungry myself.” Gawain agreed, turning his horse off their pathway and across a clearing. Darach followed.
As the men settled themselves and unpacked their food, Darach could hardly wait.
“So, I’m guessing wee Catriona was the reason for your banishment from the Sinclair?” Darach winced at his own directness, but could find no other opening line.
“Aye. And nay.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I never laid a hand on her, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“Nay. Well, alright, aye, I was thinking that.” A little shamefaced, Darach could not wholly account for his sense of relief on hearing that Catriona was untouched. Assuming she was.
“Ach, dinnae worry about it. Who wouldnae think the same? The Chief of Kincaid and his son took some convincing too. Not that they were too worried about why I was thrown out.”
“No, I dare say not. Once they’ve the feeling they can trust what you say, you become an asset to them.” Darach knew that Gawain would be sensible of the facts himself, and felt no need to be anything other than open with him. Hoping, of course, that Gawain would be open in return. Darach had judged him correctly. Gawain looked pleased not to be treated as an idiot.
“Aye, and that’s fine by me, I can tell you. At this point, I would do just about anything in my power to bring that bastard down.”
“Kyle Sinclair.”
“Aye, Kyle Sinclair. I can tell you, walk the length and the breadth of all of Scotland and you’ll never chance to meet such a mad wee boy as that one.”
“How so?”
“He’s a real chip of the old block. I mean, his Da was as cruel and as prideful as a man can be, but the son! Add to the pride and the cruelty a twisted touch of madness.”
“So, he’s unstable?”
“Ach, aye. He’s unstable alright.”
“So, how do his Clan follow him?”
“The most of them know nothing different. It’s never been an easy Clan to be a part of, but it’s always been one of the most powerful. So, fear I suppose. Fear of the unknown keeps his people about him. There’s none who dares to speak up, even among themselves. Naybody trusts naybody else in that Clan. You get whispers, but tis mostly gossip about the way Tormod used to treat lassies, or used to treat his wife, Kyle too, now he’s the big man. Beyond that, the Clan keeps its thoughts to itself, you know?”
“Aye, I’d heard of that poor auld woman, insane now isn’t she?”
“Aye. tis a disgrace before God. And I fear for Catriona now. She has naybody there but a woman called Fiona.”
“Fiona?”
“Aye. Fiona Blair. The wife of one of the lower clansmen. She’s been nursing auld Nairn Sinclair. The Ma, you know?”
“Aye?” Darach was paying rapt attention, much like the wee laddie he had once been, listening to his Ma’s tales of feuding Clansmen. Also, he was glad to get back to the subject of Catriona. There was something about her, so upright and brave. His smile nearly broke free as he thought of how she’d interrogated him!
“Well, she seemed to have taken Catriona under her wing since the auld man was killed by Gunn Kincaid.”
“Why? Did that hurt the lass?” The description of Tormod Sinclair was enough to make Darach wonder if any child would mourn him.
“Aye, in a way. The auld man never paid her any heed, but it never stopped the lass trying. After he’d gone, I think Catriona had begun to realize a few things. Regret a few things too, I reckon.”
“Such as?”
“Well, as she was growing up, Catriona never seemed to care much for her Ma. As we got older ourselves, we often argued about it.”
“And now?”
“Ach, I really think she’s right in the middle of being smacked in the face with the truth of it all. I know there’s caring and pity there now, but it’s too late for Nairn, and Catriona knows it. That brings her guilt, I know it does.” Gawain looked down a little sadly.
“But, she was so young, surely. With kin such as that, how could a young lassie learn right from wrong?”
“So, you think it excuses her?” Gawain’s question was a simple one, in no way loaded, just a plain request for another man’s opinion. Darach could not begin to fathom why he felt the need to defend the lass.
“Aye, I think it does. That she’s coming to see that she was wrong, that her kin were wrong, is testament to a good nature.”
“Aye, I think it is. And she’s come to it on her own. I never got the chance of telling her too much. She always cut me dead!” Both men laughed.
“By God, I can believe that!”
Gawain bit into a bannock and chewed thoughtfully. He seemed to be working something out, something which concerned him.
“What is it?”
“I’m just wondering what’s happening now at the Castle. I mean, when I was banished, I could only think of myself, you know? I needed a roof, somewhere to work.”
“Understandable.”
“I never really though what Catriona might be suffering. I mean, knowing the accusation to be untrue, I couldnae guess at where the lie had come from. I knew it wouldnae be Catriona herself. But, if Kyle believes it! What must she be suffering?”
“I doubt he believes it. Catriona herself said it was just a show of his power over her.”
“But, to what end, Darach? Why?”
“You said yourself that he’s unstable.”
Darach stopped eating and sat a few moments in thoughtful silence. He was beginning to see what Gawain was concerned about. If Kyle Sinclair was so determined to wield power over his sister that he had resorted to banishing one of his very own clansmen, he must truly hate Catriona. Darach felt his mouth go dry as he thought of the very real danger the lass was likely to be in. Furthermore, what was it about her that made him care so much?
Chapter Seven
It was a full sennight later and Catriona could still not believe she had managed to leave and return to the Castle on that day, completely unnoticed. Perhaps one day she would run? Knowing that she really did have the strength and skill to escape in the way that she had, gave her a little spark of hope.
Still, as far as she was aware, she wasnae Kyle’s prisoner. Yet.
However, in more sensible moments, Catriona wondered where she would go if she did run. She had nobody. Even Gawain was out of reach. As kind a portrait as he had painted of the Kincaid’s, she was blood kin to the Sinclair Chief and she knew there was no question of them taking her in as they had done her friend. Furthermore, sheltering the sister of the Chieftain of the Sinclair would be a bad move for them to make. Whilst they had done it once before, that was a child of the Mackinnon Clan. Catriona knew fair well that her own Clan was a very different case. The Sinclair’s were much more powerful and, the friends who had once stood shoulder to shoulder with the Kincaid Clan might not be so inclined to continue if they made a move so reckless. Damn the Highlands! What sort of a life could she hope for if she ran? Catriona knew that she might well fall prey to anyone she met, without the protection of her Clan’s name.
There was a further tie to keep her at Sinclair Castle. Nairn. For so long, Catriona had ignored her Ma’s plight. She had let her down so badly and to leave her now would be to let her down all over again. In her heart, Catriona knew
she could not do it.
Noiselessly entering her Ma’s bed chamber, she was relieved to see Nairn sleeping peacefully. Fiona looked up at her and smiled as she crossed the room, but said nothing, so as not to disturb Nairn. Catriona sat down by the bed and gently took her Ma’s hand in hers. No, she could never leave her Ma there alone, not again. Suddenly trapped by her overwhelming responsibility, Catriona began to weep. Fiona was on her feet in a heartbeat, gently guiding Catriona out of the bed chamber and into the adjoining room.
“Hush now, all will be well Catriona.”
Fiona took the sobbing lass into her arms. She knew full well that Catriona had been suffering these last few weeks. Whatever had happened between her and her brother had ended violently, that much she had seen with her own eyes.
Fiona had been the only one of the Clan to see the bruising on Catriona’s face. She had never once mentioned it, for which Catriona had seemed to be truly grateful. Outside of the Castle, Fiona had told none but her own husband, and only then in hushed tones in their marital bed. He had been disgusted, she knew. Whilst he was a lifelong loyal clansman, her husband harbored no loyalty towards Kyle himself. Still, neither of them talked of it again.
“It won’t be well, Fiona. Nothing will be well again. I am trapped here like a rat. I can never, never escape.”
“Maybe one day, lass.” Fiona was holding her close, stroking her hair. Catriona’s sobs were ripping at her own heart. The lass could have been her own daughter. God knows, she would have looked after her better. All those years with no moral teaching from any but her twisted father. It was nay wonder that Kyle had grown into the pig he had so clearly become. This poor child, finally realizing the love of her own Ma, only to lose it to the insanity her evil Da had caused.
“I can’t. There’s Ma....” She hiccupped, “and I’ve nowhere to run to. None can help me without risking his wrath.”
