by Nancy Warren
While she hadn't actually tried it on, she had definitely stood in front of her full-length mirror with the dress held up against her and imagined living the life that it promised.
"Look, I'm glad you brought up the wedding dress. I have something I want to ask you."
Oh God, she was going to ask about Eric. And Tasmine had no idea what to say. Yesterday she would have said that they were dating, probably even boyfriend and girlfriend though they had never said those words. But today? She didn't really know what she was. If this were a couple of hundred years ago she would be the mistress and the Annes of this world would be trying out for the role of young Mr. Van Hoffendam’s wife. A position she could never hope to fill.
Since she didn't answer, Ashley went on. "I completely understand if you say no, but I really want to hire you to be my bridesmaid and help me plan my wedding."
She almost laughed aloud. Fortunately, she controlled herself. "You want me to be your bridesmaid, again?"
“Is it too much to ask? Here's the thing, I thought you did such a great job. And when I talked to Mom afterwards she said you were amazing. After I left. You were the one who figured out how to handle telling people the wedding was cancelled and she said you were so good with Eric. You sat with him and helped him get through that awful day.” She fiddled with the skirt of her vintage dress. “I am so sorry for what I did to him. I wish all the best for Eric but I couldn't have married him.”
“I know.”
“But Ben? He's the love of my life. Anyway, I feel like we weren't only bride and bridesmaid. I feel like we became friends. I'm only having one bridesmaid, and I want it to be you."
"Really? What about Whitney and Sienna?"
"First I can't choose between the two of them. If I choose either of them the other one will be upset and I don't want two bridesmaids. You are not only a good friend, but you know how to organize things. I want you there."
She couldn't go forward unless she told Ashley … What?. She took a breath and said, "I have to tell you something. It probably doesn't mean anything, but Eric and I have been . . ." What had they been? She knew what she had been, which was falling in love with a man she believed in with all her heart. But what was she to him?
When they were together, she felt as though his feelings were as deep as hers, but they had never said the words. Even the fact that he’d shown up at this wedding with a date on his arm, without telling her, made her wonder what the future held for her and Eric. Still, she couldn't plan Ashley’s wedding without telling her the truth, whatever part of the truth she could see. “Seeing each other,” she ended lamely.
Ashley was suitably surprised. Her pretty eyes grew wide. "You and Eric?"
"I think he turned to me because he was upset about you. I’m probably his transition person."
Ashley suddenly leaned forward and grabbed her wrists as though about to do an intervention. "No. Don't do that."
"Don't see Eric?" She didn’t realize Ashley was that possessive of her former fiancé.
"No! Don't put yourself down like that. Don't act like you’re less than you really are. Believe me, I've done that all my life, and by thinking I wasn't good enough I almost ended up married to Eric so that he wouldn't have to go to jail."
"You know, he feels terrible about that."
"Yes. I know he does. But he was still going to go ahead and do it.”
She couldn’t argue with that. She could only hang on to her stubborn conviction that Eric was changing.
Ashley continued, “And you? You're incredible. Look at you, you have a great job with that furniture company and you have your own bridesmaid business. You’re smart and you are a crazy good organizer. You are exactly the kind of woman Eric needs."
"Thanks. I appreciate the support."
"Well, since it looks to me like you're completely in love with him, it would probably be a good idea to find out if he feels the same way."
"What? Is there a sign on my back or something?"
Ashley touched her shoulder. "No. You’re wearing your heart on your sleeve."
"Can everybody see it?"
"Probably only me." Then she paused for a second. "And maybe Grace."
"Is that why she treats me like I’m a cockroach that crawled out from under the couch?"
"Yeah. Pretty much. Which means she's worried. Trust me, sticking Eric with a date was Grace’s idea. I bet he didn’t even know Anne was coming."
"Who is she?"
"Grace has been trying to get those two together since high school. Her family’s even richer than the Van Hoffendams. I think her mother’s family came over with the Mayflower. Anne would probably go for it because, you know, it's Eric. But he doesn't care about her."
"Well, I’ve had the fun of watching Eric and Anne laughing over old times while getting hit on all night by the sleaziest groomsman ever."
"Gross. Why don’t you come and sit with Ben and me? We’re at a really fun table."
"Thanks. Maybe for a bit, but I think I’ll head out soon."
"So, about my wedding? Will you do it?"
"I'm going to be completely honest with you. I'm going to check with Eric first. Because I do care about him. And I don't want to do anything that would upset him."
"Okay. So, if he’s fine with it, will you do it?"
"Absolutely."
"That's fantastic! We’re planning the smallest wedding we can get away with. We want to be married outside with no fuss.” She grinned suddenly and her nose ring winked in the light. “Oh, and you know what my bridesmaid is wearing?"
"What?"
Ashley leaned closer. "Anything she wants."
She laughed. “Okay, you’ve got a deal. If it’s okay with Eric, I'll do your wedding. When are you getting married?"
"Soon. We’ll work around your schedule. We want a ceremony that is small and intimate. Us, close friends and family."
"Sounds perfect." She probably sounded wistful for Ashley reached over and said, “There’s someone perfect for everyone. I never used to believe it, but now I know it’s true. You’ll find your perfect man.”
She nodded, but the truth was she’d already found the perfect man for her.
What did she do if he didn’t feel the same?
As they walked out of the bathroom together she imagined a lifetime of missing Eric, of growing old alone and talking about him to her cats.
Chapter 14
Eric had no idea why Tasmine was sitting there at the head table flirting like crazy with Jake who was an asshat, unless it was to make him crazy jealous. If that was her plan, it was working great. He tried not to spend his whole time staring up at Tasmine. He tried out of sheer politeness to hold a conversation with Anne, even though her only interests seemed to be shopping, telling him about the new property her family was planning to buy, and her upcoming trip to Paris.
He thought this was the most boring evening he’d ever spent. Plus, his mother was trying so blatantly to get him and Anne together that he wanted to run far away as fast as he could. He led Anne to the dance floor for an obligatory dance and then returned her to the table where his parents were. He excused himself and set off to find Tasmine.
He saw her at a table, laughing with Ben and Ash. He hadn’t missed the glint of gold on Ashley's engagement finger. Ash had apologized to him and he’d given her a hug. The truth was she’d done them both a favor by not marrying him. A bit more notice would have been nice, though.
He wandered around the room. Toad and Slade and a few of his old buddies hunkered around the bar doing shots. Toad caught sight of him and waved him over. He could tell they were half pissed and probably headed to making fools of themselves. He walked over and joked with them a bit. Slade pushed a shot at him but he shook his head. “I’m driving.”
Toad nodded, bleary eyed. “You and Anne, huh?”
“No. Not me and Anne. I gave her a lift is all.”
“Sorry,” Toad said, stretching out the last syllable.
When had this happened to him? When had he stopped being the fun guy? For a split second he was tempted. He could down a few shots, hang out like the old days. His parents could catch a cab.
But he didn’t. When had he stopped being not only the fun guy, but the irresponsible fun guy?
He had promised to drive his parents and Anne home and now that he thought about it he suspected that his mother had given the driver the day off not by accident, but on purpose. Her heavy-handed matchmaking hadn't worked out too well the first time; he was amazed she still insisted on trying. And she was so inept. Him and Anne? Never going to happen.
When he thought about being the one at the head table, looking over at the woman he had married that very day, the only woman he could see in the seat beside him was Tasmine. He didn't know when or how it happened, but he was in love with her. And it didn't feel like he’d been put into a straitjacket the way he’d felt when he got engaged to Ashley. Being with Tasmine felt the exact opposite. Like freedom and possibilities.
He finally caught up with Tasmine as she was standing near the cloakroom with her back against the wall, and Jake, the world's most annoying man, was standing way too close to her, trying to stare down the top of her dress.
What his jealousy had prevented him from seeing earlier, was very clear to him now. She did not like Jake and she didn't want him anywhere near her. She kept edging away and the drunk groomsman kept closing the distance between them.
He walked right smack up to Tasmine and said, "Hey, sorry I got tied up, honey." He inwardly cringed at the word honey since it was a term he’d never use. He pulled her to him and kissed her lips more with ownership than passion. Letting Jake know that now would be a good time to back off.
With his arm slung around Tasmine's shoulders, he said, "Hey Jake what's happening?"
"Nothing much." He glanced from one to the other of them. "Are you two hooking up now?"
Tasmine glared at him. "No, we’re not hooking up.”
"We are seeing each other." Eric spoke slowly and deliberately. "And we are exclusive."
Jake put his hands up. "Hey, no problem. I didn’t know." He backed off fast and Tasmine moved away so that Eric's arm dropped from her shoulders. She looked up at him, "Thanks for that. The trouble with being a hired bridesmaid is it's really not cool to kick a groomsman in the balls."
"You should’ve asked me. I would have done it for you."
"Thanks. So, are you having a good time?"
"Are you kidding me? My ex-fiancée is here with her new fiancé, my mother dragged me here with another woman without even telling me, and the woman I want to be with is getting hit on by another guy." He put his head to one side considering. "So, no. I would say I'm not having a very good time. But I'm really hoping the night’s about to get a whole lot better."
"And is it going to get better?" He felt that she was touchy. Probably she’d been as surprised as he was to find he was here with another woman. Plus, she’d had Jake pawing her all night.
"I hope so. Can I come by your place later?" And then he remembered that he had originally planned to drive her here and take her home. "Let me amend that. Can I drive you home?"
She glanced over to where his parents and Anne were sitting talking at their table. "Don't you have to drive them home?"
He closed his eyes and let out a breath. "Yes. I do. But I’ll take them home and then come back and pick you up and drive you home."
"No. That's okay. I'm tired, I’ll catch a cab."
"No. Wait. I’ll drive you home and then come back for them.”
She shook her head. “Your mom already hates me. She’ll never forgive me if I drag you away.”
He took her by the shoulders. “I want to.”
“I know. But what’s the point? She’ll only be angry with both of us.”
“Can I get you a cab at least?”
She smiled. “They have doormen who can do that.”
He took her hand. “Come on. I’ll wait with you.”
He waited while she collected her things and then dragged her case out to the lobby. Of course, cabs were lining up outside. The doorman took the bag and put it into the trunk of the cab that slid forward.
“Tasmine, I'm sorry tonight turned out this way. Can I come by later?"
She looked at him and he thought she was going to say yes. He wanted her to so badly it hurt. He loved her and he felt the urge to tell her, but not here on the street with hotel staff watching.
Then she said, “No. Not tonight.”
He kissed her and got in front of the doorman so he could open the back door of the cab for her. And then he watched her drive away.
On the cab ride home she wondered how an evening she’d been so looking forward to could go so wrong? She was tired of taking cabs home alone. She was tired of being the world’s most efficient bridesmaid.
Ashley had told her she put herself down and she could see how that was true. She deserved better than this. Would Donovan dump Kylie so he could drive his parents and some other woman to a wedding? No he would not. Would Ben have ditched Ashley so that he could go somewhere with his parents and some single female friend? No. He would not.
Her self-pity took over the self-control she so prided herself on. Screw it, she was tired of being the perfect bridesmaid. She got the cab driver to stop at a convenience store where she ran in and hit the snack aisle. Twinkies. She needed Twinkies. And after throwing a couple of packages of the cakes into her basket, she grabbed Doritos – she couldn’t decide between cool ranch and taco flavored so she got them both. And, as she hit the checkout she couldn’t resist the giant bag of M&Ms.
When she got home, she removed her dress and hung it in one side of her double closet where she kept her dresses. It was like a graveyard of bridesmaid dresses. She hung them by color so when she opened that side of her closet a rainbow of chiffon and silk greeted her. She hung tonight’s blue dress on one of the padded hangers, placing it between a navy sheath and a paler blue, cocktail-length chiffon. What was the point in keeping all these dresses? When was she going to wear them? They were another reminder that she was always a bridesmaid and never a bride.
Standing there in her lacy slip, she reached a decision. She grabbed as many of the dresses as she could carry and hefted them into the living room. It took her three trips. Finally, she took the Evangeline wedding gown and placed it beside the colorful heap.
Then, she dressed in pajamas, loaded The Princess Bride into her DVD player, poured a glass of wine and ripped into her junk food. She raised a glass and toasted the colorful heap of dresses. “To abandoned bridesmaids.” She said. “I’ll drink to that!” And then she pressed Play.
When she woke up the next morning, she felt mildly hungover, mostly from the junk food. But a night of wallowing in self pity had been sort of therapeutic. She tossed the remains of her stash before she was tempted to a breakfast of leftover Doritos. Instead, she brewed coffee and then pulled up the list she’d been making of stores that might be interested in wedding gown resales.
She showered, dressed in jeans and a blue cotton shirt, put her hair in a ponytail and loaded up the car. She headed for Melrose Avenue where three of her top picks were located. She had a list of more than ten places she could visit before choosing the right home for her gowns.
She started with her A-List. Clarice Wedding and Vintage. She didn’t feel too bad about her bridesmaid dresses. With the exception of the black and white number she was supposed to wear for Ashley and Eric's wedding, they’d all had their moment of glory. But the Evangeline dress was different. She had a strong feeling that it needed to find its bride. And she didn't think she'd know the right place to set it free until she saw it.
She carried the wedding dress and one of the bridesmaid dresses into Clarice’s. When she found a young helper she was told she was supposed to make an appointment. When she explained that she had some valuable outfits, she was granted five minutes with the store owner, who offered her t
wenty-five bucks each for the bridesmaid dresses and a hundred bucks for the Evangeline original. "Thanks," she said. "I'll think about it."
Any vintage dress-store owner who didn't value an Evangeline wedding dress was certainly not going to get her business.
She headed to the next store on her list and went through a similar process. This one was a consignment store so she would receive a percentage of the sale price. "What do you think you’ll get for the wedding dress?" she asked.
The owner shrugged her shoulders. "It's a great gown. Maybe five hundred? The problem is that we’re well into bridal season. You should have brought this in two months ago."
Once again, she said, "Thank you. I'll think about it."
Joe’s Past and Present was her third stop.
She had heard about Joe’s but never shopped there. It was a smaller store. A young and very cute guy was standing behind the sales counter , writing something. He glanced up at her. “Can I help you?”
“Are you Joe?” she guessed.
He grinned at her. “No. My mother is Joe. I’m Dylan.”
When she explained her errand, he said, “You want my mom. Just a sec.” He opened a door and shouted up a flight of stairs. “Mom, come down here.”
Joe was a tall, lean woman with long black hair and huge dark eyes. She was probably deeply into her fifties but she had a sense of style that was timeless. She wore all black and Tasmine bet she’d been a model in her day.
Joe whistled, long and low, when she saw the logo on the garment bag. "Tell me there’s a genuine Evangeline gown in there?"
"Yes. There is."
“Wow. Let's take a look at it."
When they eased the dress out of the bag, the woman moaned. To her son she said, “An Evangeline gown is like a Stradivarius violin. No two are exactly the same, but each is perfect. Who wore this dress?"
"Actually, it's never been worn. There was a . . . tragedy in the family. The wedding never took place."
"My God. This dress is a virgin."
"Exactly. I also have fifteen bridesmaid dresses."
