A cabbie honked as Hudson switched lanes, pulling out in front of him. “Alayna, I can’t talk about this while I’m driving.”
He accelerated through a yellow light and I braced myself against the console. “Yeah, good idea. Focus on the road because you’re scaring me.”
The look he shot me was pure fury. “Good. Maybe you should be scared.”
I didn’t try to talk after that. His driving didn’t improve, even in the silence, and I was grateful it was a short distance to The Bowery. I hadn’t even been aware the underground parking existed until we’d entered the tunnel and parked next to his Mercedes. Huh, I’d wondered where he kept that when he wasn’t using it.
Being with Hudson, I’d gotten used to doors being opened for me, but I hopped out the minute the car stopped. He might be mad, and I might deserve it, but I didn’t have to take it like a pussy.
We rode the elevator in sharp silence. In the penthouse, Hudson headed straight for the bar. I followed, my arms folded over my chest, and waited for him to decide that he was ready to talk.
He’d poured and drank half of his Scotch before facing me. “Tell me one thing. One thing and think carefully before you answer because I want to believe what you tell me.” His voice was even, measured.
I leaned against the back of the couch, bracing myself.
“Are you still in love with him?”
So it was David. How Hudson had found out was beyond me. I couldn’t imagine David sidling up to his boss and sharing the sexual adventures he’d had with me. Especially when David had ended things specifically so Hudson would never find out.
However he’d figured it out, it didn’t matter. What mattered was setting the record straight now. “No, I’m not. I was never in love with him.”
Hudson closed his eyes briefly, almost as though he were relieved. But when he opened them again, the stone coldness remained from before. “Then whatever it was—attraction, obsession. Do you still feel that for him?”
“I never felt any of that for him. He was safe. We messed around a few times.” I winced at Hudson’s hurt expression. “That’s really the extent of it. Really and truly. He was just a guy I had chemistry with but not enough to drive me crazy.” Not like you. Never like you.
“Then why did he file a restraining order?”
A whoosh of air swept through my ears, leaving me lightheaded. Dizzy. “Wait, who are you talking about?” The only restraining order I’d had was with Paul. And the secret that I was working with Paul was much heavier than the David thing.
My fingers curled into the sofa behind me as I waited for him to say the name I knew he’d say.
“Paul Kresh.”
“Oh.” I nodded slowly for several seconds. “Oh.” There was nothing else to say. I had no reaction, I had no defense. “You found out about Paul.”
His teeth gritted. I could hear as he ground them together. “Since you know I’m already aware of your past with Paul, you must be referring to the fact that he’s a partner in Party Planners Plus.”
I shook my head.
“You didn’t know?” There was hope in his tone. He wanted me to not know.
But I couldn’t lie. It was one thing to keep it from him, quite another to lie outright. “Well, he’s not technically a partner, so that’s not a fair question.”
“Dammit, Alayna. Don’t hedge around the facts. Because I’d like to think that you would never do something so stupid as to sign a deal that would put you in close working proximity with someone that you are legally not supposed to be anywhere near. The Alayna I know would never do something so brainless.”
But I had signed the deal. That morning, in fact. “Guess you don’t really know me.”
He slammed his empty glass on the bar. “This is not a fucking game!”
“Don’t you think I know that?” I raised my voice to match his. “I’m the one who has the restraining order. I get the seriousness of the situation.” I pointed my finger into my chest at each mention of the word I so forcefully, I knew it would bruise.
“Then why?” His eyes were pleading. “You can’t have been that desperate to sign a deal. I had thought—I’d hoped—that you didn’t realize that Kresh was engaged to Julie Swaggert—”
“Engaged? I thought they were just dating.”
The look on his face said that wasn’t the thing to say.
I quickly corrected. “Which doesn’t matter, I know. I didn’t mean to seem interested, because I’m not. I’m not, Hudson. I don’t care what or whom he’s with. It’s only that he didn’t say they were engaged when we talked.”
“You talked to him?”
I hadn’t thought he could be more enraged. Turned out I was wrong.
“So help me god, Alayna, you better say it was on the phone.”
Lie, lie, lie. It was a song in my head, repeating the same refrain. I willed myself to ignore it. “It wasn’t. It was in person.”
He stepped toward me, his hands poised like he wanted to wring my neck. “Dammit, Alayna! What the fuck were you thinking?”
“Stop yelling at me and I’ll explain.” Even though I knew he wouldn’t hit me, his rage wasn’t productive. And as mad as he was, I was afraid he wouldn’t get past his anger. That he’d end things for sure. I needed a hint that there was a chance we weren’t over.
“I’m waiting.” His volume was lower, but his demeanor hadn’t changed in the least.
“I’m not saying anything until you calm down. You’re scaring me.”
He looked as though I’d slapped him. “That’s fair.” He ran a hand through his hair. “But this is as calm as I’m going to get.”
I swallowed. “I, um, had the meeting with Julia. On Thursday. And I didn’t know she was involved with Paul. But then at the end he showed up and I was totally unprepared.” A chill ran through me at the memory of seeing him in the club, at the shock I’d felt. “He acted like he didn’t know me so I followed his lead. And then when Julia went off to the bathroom, Paul told me he didn’t want to ruin the deal for her and so we had to pretend we’d never met.”
I stepped toward Hudson, hating the look on his face, wanting him to be comforted. “I told him I couldn’t work with him, Hudson, and he said I had to. He said Julia was dying to work with Pierce Industries and this was her in and if I screwed it up…” I bit my lip and tasted blood. “He said I owed him.”
“Alayna, you don’t fucking owe him anything.” His voice was still harsh, but less so.
My eyes stung. “I do! I ruined his life.”
“He cheated on his fiancée. He ruined his own life.”
“But there’s more to it than that, and you know it.”
“You still don’t owe him shit. You were sick. You weren’t responsible for what you were doing.”
I took that in. I had been sick. I hadn’t been in control of my actions. I knew this. I’d accepted this in therapy.
But that didn’t change anything. “It doesn’t matter. Even if I don’t owe him, he has this over my head. He could say that I set up the meeting simply to get to him. I mean, I didn’t, but it could look that way.” I chuckled harshly. “Even you thought that I did. And then he was there again that night at the Botanic Gardens. It looks like I could have been following him. Who’s going to believe me over him?”
I’d been avoiding his eyes, but I met them now. “If I violate that order again, I could see jail time.” Not to mention what could happen to Hudson in the media. He’d be the joke of the town.
“Alayna.” He closed the short distance between us in two quick steps and wrapped his arms around me.
I hadn’t realized how close my tears were to the surface until I was safe and in his arms. I cried softly into his shoulder, not only because of what I’d done or because of the pressure I’d been under keeping it in, but because he was holding me. They were tears of relief.
Hudson pulled me in even tighter. “Why didn’t you come to me? I would never let anything bad happen to you. Neve
r. You have to know that, don’t you?”
I turned my face so my words wouldn’t get lost in the material of his suit jacket. “I got scared. Of what he could do to me. Of what he could do to you.” The long strokes he ran along my back made it easy to keep talking, easy to confess. “And I wanted you to be proud of me. Of the deal I made.”
He pushed me away suddenly and gripped my upper arms. Bending to catch my gaze, he said, “I’m always proud of you, Alayna. Always.”
It broke me. Again.
I clutched on to his shirt inside his open jacket. “I should have told you. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what to do and I wanted to tell you. Please, don’t be mad at me.”
Softly, he shushed me. “Don’t. Don’t cry, precious.” He held me as I cried. When I was calmer, he said, “I’m only mad because you put yourself in danger. You scared me. You can’t imagine what I felt when the background report came across my desk and I realized the situation. Don’t you know I couldn’t stand it if anything bad happened to you?” His voice cracked.
“Yes, I know.” It was exactly how I’d feel if something happened to him.
“And I’m mad because you didn’t come to me.”
“I wanted to. I did. But Ce—” I almost mentioned Celia, stopping myself right before I did. I didn’t think it was a good time to add that secret to the mix. “But I didn’t want you to have to get in the middle of my mess.”
I pulled away, looking aimlessly for a tissue.
Hudson pulled a handkerchief from his pocket. Who the hell carried handkerchiefs? There was still so much to learn about this man.
“Don’t be silly,” he said, dabbing at my eyes. “First of all, I own The Sky Launch so I’m legally responsible for anything that goes on in regards to employees and the people they interact with.”
I hadn’t thought of that.
He ran his thumb gently down the side of my face. “But more importantly, if you’re in a mess of any sort, then so am I. Not legally. But because you’re mine. And I’m yours. And that means I’m tied to you in every way. Good and bad. If you can’t see that, then we have no chance.”
Oh, god. The enormity of it hit me. I’d put all we had in jeopardy, put us at risk. “I really fucked everything up.” I felt the color leave my face. “Oh, god, Hudson.”
He tilted my chin up with one finger and kissed my nose. “You didn’t fuck everything up. I can fix it. Now that I know.”
“What will you do?” I had a brief flash of men in trench coats meeting up with Paul in a dark alley. Sad that the thought brought a smile to my face.
“I wouldn’t do anything illegal, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
Damn, he could read me so well.
“I’ll offer Party Planners Plus a deal with Fierce in exchange for terminating the contract with The Sky Launch. Fierce is a bigger name and can offer a better payout. They’ll still be working with the Pierce name. Kresh will have nothing to complain about.”
“Good plan. Thank you.” If I’d only come to Hudson in the first place, he would have arranged a deal like this and I wouldn’t have put anyone—myself—in a precarious position. My stomach churned with self-loathing. “I’m sorry, Hudson. I’m sorry you have to clean up my mess. I’m such an idiot.”
“Shush up.” His arms were around me again, holding me, comforting me when it was the last thing I deserved. “Stop feeling guilty. It’s our mess, remember? And I want to clean it up. It’s one of the things I’m capable of. Let me.”
“All right.” I took a deep breath, letting all my worry and regret out as I exhaled. “All right, I’ll let you.”
Chapter Sixteen
Hudson pocketed his damp handkerchief, and I could feel his disposition change, could feel him moving away. “Now, Alayna. What else do you need to tell me?”
“What—what do you mean?” I was still recovering from the last horrific confession. What other information did I need to disclose? At this point, I was ready to spill everything.
Hudson took his jacket off, folding it and setting it on the back of the sofa. “When we started this conversation, you thought I was talking about something else. Someone else.” His eyes pierced me. “Who did you think I was talking about?”
Honesty. I owed him honesty. “I thought you were talking about David.”
“David Lindt?”
“Yes.”
He backed up until he was leaning against the wall. I hated that he needed the support. “You told me there was nothing between you and David.”
“There’s not. Anymore.”
“But there was.”
“Yes.”
I could see the pain across his face. It killed me. It was exactly how I’d feel if I found out there had been something with him and Celia. I wanted to go to him, to hold him like he’d held me, to make it better.
I stepped toward him, but he put a hand out to stop me.
“It was nothing, Hudson. We were sort of together. But not really. We didn’t go on dates or anything or tell anyone about us. Just, when we worked late, alone…things happened.” The words tasted awful in my mouth.
“Did you sleep with him?”
“No. Things never went that far.” This hadn’t been the first time the subject had been broached. “You’ve asked me this before and I told you no then as well. I wasn’t lying.”
He shot me a challenging glance. “I also asked if you had wanted to and I never got a straight answer.”
“I don’t know the answer.” I considered leaving it at that. But I knew it would always hang over us unless I let it all out. “Yes. I suppose I did. Once upon a time. But not now.” Again, I wanted to move toward him. This time I stopped myself before he did. “There’s nothing now, Hudson. You have to believe me.”
It was after several long seconds that he spoke. “I do.”
“You do?” I couldn’t hide the shock from my voice.
“Yes. You don’t look at him the way you look at me.”
“Of course, I don’t.”
“But he looks at you the way I look at you. The way I imagine I look at you.”
“No, he doesn’t.” Yes, David had feelings for me, but they didn’t compare to the way Hudson felt about me. “You’re exaggerating.”
Hudson straightened and began pacing. “I’m not. It’s a problem and I can’t have it continuing.”
“What does that mean?” I knew the answer without having to ask, the dread washing over me in a thick wave.
“It means he’s going to have to leave The Sky Launch.”
“Don’t even joke.” As if Hudson was the type to kid.
“Does it seem like I’m joking?”
“Hudson, no. You can’t do that.” My voice was louder than I would have liked it. I’d prefer to be stoic and cold like him, but that wasn’t me. “You can’t fire David because of a stupid fling we had before I even met you. He’s the responsible one at the club. He’s the one who said we needed to end it.”
His glare was heart-stopping. “You aren’t helping your case.”
“But you can’t fire David because we messed around once upon a time. It’s over. It’s not fair. It’s not fair to David.” I felt very near to throwing a tantrum. I may have even stomped my foot once.
Hudson returned to the bar to refill his Scotch. “It was going to happen anyway. Regardless of what you and he...” He took a deep breath and I knew from the awful pain in his eyes that he was thinking about David and me together. They were horrible thoughts. Things I never wanted him to have to imagine. But there wasn’t anything I could do. I’d certainly thought of him and Celia in the same terrible ways. It was painful and heartbreaking, but endurable.
Hudson would endure as well.
Despite his misery, I had to ask, “What do you mean by it was going to happen anyway?”
He shook his head, took a gulp of his drink and set it down. “This isn’t how I wanted to tell you. It was meant to be a surprise at an appropriate time. But the trut
h is that I’ve wanted to make a management change since I bought the place.”
I leaned against the sofa back, not wanting to hear anymore, unable to stop the inevitable words.
“Alayna, I want you to run the club.”
“Hudson…no.”
“I bought the club for you.”
A shudder ran through me. “What are you talking about? You didn’t know me when you bought the club.”
“The symposium—”
I cut him off. “You told me you were already looking at the club. The fact that I worked there influenced you. Never did you say anything about buying it for me.” In my head, I replayed everything I knew about our strange meeting. He’d seen me at the symposium, but I hadn’t known that until later. He came into the bar, once. We’d flirted and he’d given me a big fat tip and a trip to his spa, behavior that in itself was psycho-aggressive. None of it warranted the purchase of a business. If that was the real reason he’d bought the club—well, then he was crazier than me.
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to seem too forward.”
“Well, too fucking late for that.”
He continued with an annoying degree of impassivity. “It wasn’t as insane as it sounds, Alayna. It was business. I saw you at the symposium and knew I needed you working for me. Since you weren’t taking any interviews with companies, I had to buy the company you were already at. Yes, I was attracted to you. Yes, it influenced my decision to pursue your talent, but wanting you working for me was the driving force of that pursuit.”
It wasn’t an uncommon scenario. Smart-minded business players often made large company purchases simply to get control of a talented workforce. “Then you got what you wanted. I am working for you. I don’t have to run The Sky Launch to be working for you.” I ran my hands up and down my arms, trying to get warm. “I have an important role, and I don’t need anything more right now.”
He stepped toward me, his impassivity replaced with vehemence. “Alayna, you have so much potential!”
“Stop it! You sound like my brother. Don’t decide that I’m wasting my potential. I’m building up to it at my own speed. I’m not ready to run a club, Hudson.” My hands flew expressively as I spoke—pointing at him, then at myself, then flinging madly at my sides.
Complete Fixed: The Complete Fixed Series: Books 1-5 Page 45
