by Jill Cooper
He’s in so much pain, but I need to know. I do. I grab his face in my hands and I kiss him. Everything that’s building in me, in him, I want to let it all go, but I can’t. “Tell me.” My lips linger against his cheek and he holds me as closely as he ever has. My eyes flicker to his face. “Then tell me. I’ll forgive whatever it is.”
“After you hear what I have to say,” Donovan takes a shaky breath, “you won’t.”
And just like that, my life implodes one more time.
****
We move to the living room and Donovan rotates the cup of coffee in his hand. Behind us, the flickering embers in the fireplace dance. “My first investment went bad. Real bad. I lost everything.”
He’d made a fortune. I can’t believe what he’s saying. I open my mouth to speak, but Donovan holds up a hand to stop me. “Let me finish. If you interrupt, I might never get it out. I’ll chicken out and….” Donovan clears his throat, but he won’t look at me. The grief in his profile crumbles his handsome features.
“This woman came to me. She said she could fix it for me. Give me information on a trade that would make my money back. Plus two hundred percent. She even gave me the money I needed to make the deal. All I had to do was make an introduction between Delilah and…Cameron Kincaid.”
Donovan takes a moment to sip his coffee, but I can’t process what he’d just said. He had taken money and a trade deal from a stranger? A stranger? Just like that, with no questions?
“I was eager. I didn’t want to come home and tell you I lost everything. You’d have had to drop out of school, we’d lose our small apartment. Everything. So, I went along with it. And when I made that first million, things were good. I made the introduction, and when she came along with more offers, I took them.”
He had made all his money based on inside information obtained from a time traveler. The deck of cards that is my life, crumbles. I can’t keep the anger or disappointment out of my voice. “How could you be so stupid?”
“Don’t, okay?” Don’s chest puffs up. “I know what I did was wrong. I didn’t know I was trading in time travel...not at first. But yeah, it’s the only thing that made sense and then…”
“And then it was too late. What you did was illegal, Don.” I shouldn’t judge him. What I’d done was illegal too. I’d rewound time and saved my mother’s life. Changing the timeline was what had set this all in motion, and that’s my fault.
But Donovan was supposed to be smarter than I am. He said he hated time travel, so how could he?
“And Cameron knows. He’ll never let me out from under his grip now. He owns me.”
“He owns us,” my anger won’t let him off the hook that easily, “because now I know, and I can’t watch you go to jail, Don.”
Donovan sighs and closes his eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
“You put me in a bad position. The both of us. Delilah. My family.”
“I didn’t know! You think if I knew…”
“But you didn’t ask. You didn’t care. All you wanted was the money.” I stand up and stride over to the mantel. My eyes focus on a framed photo. We’re standing at the Charles River with such love in our eyes.
Our engagement photo.
I rip my eyes away. Now I can’t even stand to see it. Donovan has been living with this secret for years. And he never told me. Never.
“I needed the money,” Donovan gazes up from the sofa, “For you. For me. For us. When my mother was arrested, I lost everything. I couldn’t go back to square one, Lara. You deserved better.”
“I deserved?” I poke my finger at him. “Don’t make this about me. I grew up poor. I don’t need this penthouse. I don’t need the cars or the fancy clothes.” If he thinks I needed all this, how can he even know me?
What I need is him. Him. And he put that all at risk, for what? A few good trade deals? I want to spit at him. Slam my fists against him. How dare he put our future at risk like this? How dare he?
“But you deserve it. I wanted to take care of you, Lara. I wanted to give you the world.” Donovan approaches me, but I back up. I can barely stand to look at him, and in this moment, I don’t want him to touch me.
“Did Delilah find out?” I gaze at the rug and focus on Donovan’s shadow as it draws closer. He’s only inches away, but it may as well be the breadth of the ocean.
“Yeah, she wanted to meet. I told her I’d make it right. I’d come clean with you and I’d set up a meeting with her and the woman who was time traveling. She was supposed to meet with her last night.”
Last night.
Everything in my brain clicks. “So, this woman, this person who gave you all these sweet deals, she killed Delilah? You think she killed her? And you set it up?”
“I didn’t say that.” Donovan’s jaw is tense. Maybe he doesn’t say it, but he doesn’t not say it either. Delilah is dead and my future husband had set it all in motion whether he’d meant to or not.
My hands ball into fists. I’m so angry I see red, but beneath the seething rage, I know Donovan has a good heart. He wouldn’t have wanted harm to come to Delilah or anyone else, but still, that knowledge is overshadowed by the crashing wave of a storm coming right for us.
“Who is she?” My nostrils flair and my temper demands a response.
“I didn’t get her name.”
All of that and Donovan didn’t even think to get her name? I have never known him to be so impetuous. So stupid. This isn’t who Donovan James is. Recklessness is my thing, not his, and now it’s as if I’m staring into the face of a stranger.
Except it’s a stranger who I love.
“You should’ve known better. You should’ve found out.” Above all else, he should’ve told me.
Donovan licks his lips. “Maybe I didn’t want to know.”
Bingo.
I storm out of the room. Not because I want to, but because I need to. I don’t want to say something I’ll regret, and the words are there. Biting my tongue, I enter our bedroom and find my old tattered duffle bag in the walk-in closet. It’s stored on a high shelf where it has been since we moved into this giant loft of a place, six months or so ago.
A palace built on lies and time travel. The very things I sought to avoid.
Time travel, in any form, was the one thing Don had said he wanted to avoid.
I grabbed a few pairs of jeans and some old shirts. I don’t even want to look at the clothes Don’s showered me with. Right now, I just want my old tattered jean jacket and nothing more. It had gotten me through the worst and will sustain me now.
“Don’t tear us apart,” Donovan’s words echo in the room as he leans against the doorframe, “Everything we have…please…just don’t.”
“You think I want to?” The pain leaks out all around me. I ball up a t-shirt and throw it into my bag.
“The way you’re looking at me, I don’t know what you want.” Donovan bites his lips. His wounded puppy-dog eyes pull at me and beg me to stay, but I need to think. I can’t think here.
I can’t. Not with so many reminders of how we had gotten this money. The lush carpets, the soft sheets. The wedding of the year is coming up in week at a venue that required being on a three-year waiting list? He’d gotten all of it based on lies.
How will I do that? How? I want to marry him, but I don’t want this.
I sling the bag over my shoulder. My chin trembles in anger. “I’ll call you.”
When I stride past, Donovan grabs my arm. “What are you going to do? Are you going to…fix things?”
“If I could’ve traveled in time to save Delilah, I would’ve done it already,” I jerk myself and my bag away, “But don’t second-guess my desire to time travel again. Don’t,” snarling without meaning to, I back away, “All this time you’ve been critical of time travel and you were using it to build all of this.”
“If I knew, I wouldn’t have.”
“Really?” My voice begs for an affirmative answer, but when Don looks away, I know he isn’t sure
and now I’m not sure about our future.
Not anymore. At least not tonight.
“I don’t need to be a kept woman, Don. I need a partner. An equal. I thought that was you.”
With his head down, hands shoved into the pockets of his trousers, Donovan looks so lost. I want to hug him. I want to tell him I’ll fix it all, but I don’t know how.
I need to think. Regroup. I need to make a plan and I can’t do it in this prison of luxury Donovan has erected around me.
With the sinking sadness of despair, I ride the elevator downstairs. The doorman smiles at me with a tip of his hat. “Shall I summon the car for you, Miss?”
“Not this time,” I stroll outside into the crisp Boston air, “This time I’d rather walk.”
Chapter Nine
Dad’s place is a safe haven. A quiet harbor in a mighty storm.
The apartment is cozy, but has a bedroom just for me; I just wasn’t expecting to need it so close to the wedding. I place my bag on the bed and pick up the old stuffed elephant I’ve kept there to keep the place cozy for me. My room at Mom’s is all pink, but here everything is a soft green.
Warm, comforting. Calm.
Everything Dad has always been for me. Mom would have nothing but questions. A million probing questions and I’m not ready to handle that. Instead, I rest in Dad’s big bear hug. He kisses the top of my head and ruffles my hair.
“I can make you hot chocolate. Extra whipped cream, right?” His face is clean shaven and it’s taken years off his appearance–-as if he’s found the fountain of youth.
“Right.” I smile and as he walks off, I notice for the first time he’s dressed up. Not in a suit and tie, but in trousers and a button-up shirt. Was I interrupting something?
Following him through the sparsely decorated living room, my eyes fall on the cufflinks on the coffee table and a woman’s purse is partially hidden beneath a brown toss pillow on the sofa. “Dad, was Mom here?”
“Not Mom,” mugs clink in the kitchen, “That ship has sailed I’m afraid, kid.”
“But,” my voice trails off like a wisp, “did you have…company, before I got here?”
Through the divider in the kitchen, I can see Dad as he puts the kettle on. “I’ll tell you all about that if you tell me what brings you by.”
So, he did have a date? I cringe. “Sorry, Dad. I guess I should’ve called ahead.” I sit on the sofa and the toss pillow falls over, revealing the black purse with a white gem right in the center. It must’ve been a pretty fancy dinner.
Dad sits beside me and puts his arm on the back of the sofa. His fingers stroke mine. “You never have to call ahead. Nothing is ever more important than you. Besides, it was just dinner.”
“That’s why her purse is still here and you’re not wearing your cufflinks?”
He smirks. “Since when did you become Sherlock Holmes?”
“Well,” I grin, “I’m like an amateur sleuth at this point. Or I was,” I raise my brows and sink into the sofa, “Right now, I couldn’t time travel one second into the future.”
Dad crosses his arms and studies me. “I’m sure Delilah’s death struck you hard. No matter what happened, it’s not your responsibility to fix the world. Some problems just aren’t ours.”
That’s something I’m just not sure about. “But what if the problems stem from you? What if you inadvertently caused the problem was caused? Even if your heart didn’t mean for things to go so bad. What do you do?”
“You, you? Or someone else you?”
“Someone else.” I bite my lip and gaze at the darkened window.
“Someone, you care about?” Dad’s voice is suspicious.
“Yeah,” I lick my lip, “someone I care about.”
Dad sighs and runs his hand over my head. “If this has to do with Delilah’s murder, you have to tell someone, Lara. The police. You can’t solve it yourself and you can’t protect someone. That will only come back to bite you later on.”
And if I think time travel is involved? I think of the letter I found on Delilah’s body. It’s as if the killer is daring me to fix this. To try. I don’t know if I can. I’m not sure what I should do. If I go to the police and tell them Donovan received information willingly from the future and used it for his benefit, he’ll go to jail.
That’s a violation of time travel law.
“Whatever happens, you always have a place here. Short term or not.”
His word choice jars me. Is he asking me not to marry Donovan? “You like Don, don’t you, Dad?”
“I did,” Dad’s eyebrows rise, “But if he’s the one who is breaking your heart, I might change my opinion. You want me to change my mind?”
“No,” I mouth because no sound comes out. My emotions threaten to overcome me. I fall against Dad’s chest and he holds me tightly. Everything slip away even as the teakettle chirps in the distance.
“Was she nice?” I gaze up at him. He’s my great big teddy bear, no matter how old I get. “Your date?”
“She was nice,” Dad sniffs the top of my head, “but not as nice as you.”
A charmer. A real charmer. He always knows the right thing to say, and in this moment, it’s what I need more than anything.
****
In the morning, something tugs at my consciousness as I snuggle down deep into my pillow. “Have a good day, sunshine.” It's Dad’s voice that stirs me. His hand tousles my hair just like he used to, before I traveled through time. It leaves me with a good, happy feeling.
I snort and stretch awake. Dad’s dressed and freshly shaven. With his slacks and button-up shirt, I’m struck by how handsome he is. “Off to work already?” I gaze at the clock as the hour arm ticks by.
Always checking to see which way the second-hand ticks. I can relax, because this time the tick is in the right direction.
“’Fraid so. Coffee’s in the kitchen. Good luck today.” He kisses my nose and he’s off to the races. Before he goes, his fingers play a beat against the door. “If you need to stay here tonight, I’ll pick us up some dinner, but try to work out whatever it is with Don.”
Sage advise. Even if it’s advice I don’t want to hear yet. I nod and slide up in the bed. Hugging my knees to my chest, I take in the sight of the city from my window. The sun has just breached the horizon and cast an orange glow against the city.
It’s time to face the music, and face off with Cameron Kincaid again. Whatever I’m going to do, my first step is to get dressed and have some coffee.
As I force myself into motion, at least I know whatever happens, Dad will always be here for me. That’s something I can count on.
Chapter Ten
I’m late. Nothing worse for a time traveler than that.
Nervous, I blow out a breath of air as I rush through TTPA security. I am dressed comfortably in jeans, a blue and white top with a high collar, and blue slip-on shoes. I hope my fancy earrings dress up my outfit a notch because I wasn’t thinking about having a business meeting when I left Donovan the night before.
Left him. I squeeze my eyes shut and try not to think about what that all entails. What I’ve done. What he’s done. Hopefully, we can fix it. If I give him a chance. I want to give him that chance but trust, for me, has never come easy.
I step off the elevator on the top floor of the TTPA and head into the sprawling restaurant that overlooks the city. Colleagues and business people of all kinds sit and eat brunch over meetings, but what I’m doing here is dangerous.
Time for me to dance with the devil.
Over at a table by the window, Cameron stands. He gestures his hand at the table but doesn’t exactly wave. It’s more as if he’s ordering me over. His lips twist in a playful smirk as I approach. Slinging my bag off my shoulder, I accept his outstretched hand. “Mr. Kincaid, sorry to keep you waiting.”
“Lara, it’s a pleasure. Please, call me Cameron.” He gestures to the seat in front of me and I take it.
Sliding into the chair, I grab the blue clot
h napkin and unfold it in my lap. Orange juice and coffee wait on the table. My eyebrow arches when I notice that my coffee already has cream in it. The perfect color and when I sip it…it has sugar, too.
Cameron follows suit. “I hope you’ll forgive me for my presumptuousness, but I took the liberty of ordering for you. Since you were running late. Imagine that, a time traveler….”
“Former time traveler,” I try not to let the anger growing in my chest show on my face, “And please, it’s fine. I’m curious to see what you’ve ordered for me. I guess you think you have me pegged already.”
Cameron swallows his juice. “It could be fun, couldn’t it? I feel I must apologize for yesterday. I know Delilah was a close friend of yours. And, well, I’ve surmised she never mentioned me. I’m sorry if it came as a shock. I never meant to step on anyone’s toes.”
“I’m sure you didn’t, but now we can get acquainted, right? Before I give you the tour of the facility.” I study his face as someone comes by.
“Breakfast already.” Cameron unfolds his napkin with a quick flip of his wrist. A waiter approaches and slips a bowl in front of me.
Oatmeal and a side of red gelatin.
I grip my armrest as a wave of memories wash over me. All of them are from my life back in the cage. Two years of my life wasted, and when they’d pulled me out of the virtual reality prison created just for me, breakfast was always served.
Oatmeal. Strawberry gelatin. Every time.
“Did I do that bad?” Cameron’s tone is playful, but I’m feeling anything but.
“It’s fine.” I glance up at the waiter and refuse to let Cameron see how spooked he has me. If he thinks I’m going to play into his hands, then he has another thing coming. “You forgot the raisins, though. Brown sugar, please.”
The waiter nods. “Of course, Ms. Montgomery.”
When he leaves, Cameron slides his fork through his sunny side up eggs. He doesn’t bring the oatmeal up, so what is his next move? “Soon to be Mrs. James, isn’t it? I caught a picture of you two on the society page.”
