by Jill Cooper
If she's here, does that mean my dad's here too? Has everything we have done been for nothing?
****
Time passes, and I still refuse to sit down. My legs are tired and my head is swimming with worry and grief. I haven't seen Molly since Cassidy had dragged her out. I don't know where she is…what's happening to her. Don't know what Cameron was talking about when he’d said he knows what Molly really is.
Molly is just a kid. Sure, she's had some strange episodes. But that doesn't mean she's not a kid. She's my sister, and I am going to find a way to save her.
The sound of someone tapping their glass prison pulls my attention and when I glance up, I see that it's Rick.
“Rick!” I put my hand on the glass.
“You’ve been gone awhile. I thought maybe you escaped for good this time.”
"This time?"
Rick nods. "You've been gone before, but not always the same. Sometimes you look younger, or older." He sighs. “I just really wish that I could get back to you."
I grimace. "I'm sorry. This is all my fault, and what he says about Molly —."
Rick shakes his head. "I can't help you there. Where I'm from, there is no Molly." Rick returns to his bed and sits down with his legs crossed.
His words haunt me; a world without Molly? That's a world I'm not willing to return to. That's a world I don't even want to know about. Which means I need to find a way out of here. I have to open the bridge and return home, but I won't do it without Molly. And if my dad is here somewhere, I'm not going to do it without him.
Which makes my task almost impossible.
Maybe this time, I really am trapped.
****
When I'm too tired to stay awake any longer, I slide down to the floor and I sleep in a heap. Silly, not to sleep in a bed when there is one, but I won't give Cameron the satisfaction. My dreams are dark and dismal, as though they are nothing but static. Maybe there is no dreaming on the bridge, because I don't think I do.
Instead, I'm in a gray place where there are tinges of black. Lost, without human companionship or touch, as if I don’t have a body anymore. My consciousness is alone and left to drift.
In the morning, Cameron and Cassidy come to see me. Cassidy is back in her silver outfit with her electric batons attached to each hip. Cameron opens my cage, but I refuse to move from my seat on the floor. "I'm not going anywhere." I wrap my arms around my knees and bury my chin between them.
Cameron stifles a laugh. "It's not as if we're giving you a choice."
Cassidy enters and grasping one of her electric batons, she spins it in her hand as if she’s a cheerleader. She points it at my face and when she snarls at me, I snarl right back. "It doesn't have to be this hard,” she says.
Something flashes in her eyes that I can't categorize. I can't put it in a box. I don't know if she's angry, or if she feels something for me, but I get up and slowly walk towards her. When she reaches for my arm, I yank it back violently and step out of the cage.
In some ways, I’d rather deal with Cameron. He had never been my friend, and we had never shared a bond…not like the bond I had shared with Cassidy in the past—or the future.
As they take me down the hall, I noticed the cell that Other Lara had been in is now empty. I'm left to wonder what that is about as Cameron opens the door and Cassidy pushes me into a small room. My breath heightens as I step inside and I see the chair.
The one that looks like a dentist chair, except for the hole in the headrest, which allows a cord to be fitted into the back of someone's neck. I turn, my heart pounding, and try to get back out the door, but Cameron and Cassidy force me back.
I kick and scream as they thrust their arms through mine and force me into the chair. Orderlies from each corner of the room step forward and pin down my legs, and then my arms, with leather straps. I’m unable to move, no matter how hard I fight.
I toss my head back and forth, and arch my spine as I try to get free. Balling my fists, I scream as Cameron walks to the other side of the room.
"Your mind is going to be wiped of everything that happened between you and Cassidy after you took her captive. You will remember your father’s death but won’t remember your ruse. You will remember nothing since you met Cassidy that night at the restaurant. I need to assume control at the TTPA and as that hasn't happened yet, I need to insert you back into the timeline. Once Delilah is dead, and I have the TTPA under my full control, your time is up.
“True, I could do it without you, but then you wouldn't have the joy of getting to watch."
That’s what is important to him. Maybe that’s the only thing that’s important to him. That I suffer. That I get to witness my greatest failing.
My breath rushes out and my heart takes off with a frantic pulse. My mind automatically tries to time travel and get out of there, but I'm only hit with wave after wave of distorted time energy. My brain sears with heat and red fills my vision, but when it clears, I notice a table beside me that is draped with a sheet; the shape of a person lies beneath it.
"Just in case you’re thinking you might be rescued before this happens,” Cameron pulls back the sheet, and I see the lifeless eyes of Other Lara; they are empty pools.
I scream at seeing my own body dead, and Cassidy firmly places her hand over my mouth. I shake my head back and forth but I can't dislodge her grip as her fingernails begin to dig into my skin.
Cassidy leans down to speak to me, but I can't get a read on her. "Her memories soon would be yours, but too bad your mind is about to be wiped." She sticks the baton into my gut. I scream as the electrical pulse radiates out.
My vision splits and I can feel the cord as it is jacked into my brain.
Cassidy works the computer terminal. She's going to be the one that wipe’s my mind? How dare she!
"I'm going to get you for this." I clench my teeth together.
Cassidy does a double take and there’s shock on her face, but it’s quickly masked by anger. “Bye-bye, Lara." She singsongs and then everything fades to black.
Chapter Thirty-Two
When my eyes open, I'm standing in front of a closed casket covered in white roses. I don't remember how I got here. I have no memory of the drive over, or what I might have done before. My head is foggy and I have a slight thumping sensation behind my temples.
Gazing around, it’s clear I'm in a funeral home, but why? I can't remember much of anything. I rub my temple as it surges with pain. My memory flashes back to my college classroom. I'm standing outside with Mom, and she's crying.
Why is she crying?
Intense grief is building in my chest as I grip mom's arms. "I'm sorry, Momma." What am I sorry for? Why can't I remember?
Mom hugs me and she sobs. "He's gone. He's gone."
Dad? No, not Daddy. Not Daddy…
My dad is inside the coffin. He's dead. There was nothing I could have done to stop it.
My legs give out on me and someone grips me by the waist to keep me from falling. Still, my hand touches the top of the casket. I'm desperate to open it, and at the same time, just as desperate not to.
It's Donovan who has me by the waist. "It's okay, Lara. I've got you. I'm not going anywhere."
My own sadness is mirrored in his face. "Don, why? I… I need to see. I need to be—.”
Someone puts his hands on top of mine and I don't recognize him. He shakes his head. "Ms. Montgomery, nothing good will come of this. You can't open the casket."
"Why?” My breath quivers. It's like I'm living my worst nightmare.
"You don't want to see what he looks like." Donovan holds me close and he's the only thing keeping me from screaming in rage. "You don't want to see how they found him."
The funeral director moves on and I lean against Donovan. Against the wall, Mom sits in a chair with a white handkerchief in her hand. Jax sits next to her, as do Mike and Molly. Someone I recognize from my dad's work stops by to offer his condolences. Mom rises to kiss his cheek and acce
pt his words.
But inside, I feel dead.
Why can’t I remember any of this? My eyes fall to Molly as she stares off into space, but maybe that's not unusual, how often does a eleven-year-old go to a funeral? But when she gazes at me, I feel as if something's wrong.
Something is terribly wrong.
****
The sky is clear when Dad is buried. I can barely believe what life has thrown my way as I watch the casket slowly lowered into the ground. None of this can be true. It just can't.
Donovan stands behind me and his hand is on my shoulder. To my left, stands Jax and he holds my hand tightly, just like the dad he has always been. I'm grateful for him, even if I wish I never needed to know him. I gaze up at his face as Molly takes my right hand, holding it as tightly, as a child who awakens scared in the dark. "I can't believe I lost him, after I just found him again."
Jax's face is severe and he frowns. “There are no words, Lara. All I can say is that I'll be here whenever you need me. No matter the day, no matter the time."
Jax holds me and kisses the top of my head as he used to when I was a little girl.
My stomach sinks as they throw dirt onto my father’s coffin now lying deep in the ground. How could Dad do this to me? How could he just leave me?
Why did I feel so gray and empty inside?
****
A headache had been building behind my eyes all day. I can barely even see as Donovan takes me home. As I settle into the warm sheets of my bed, for a brief moment, I feel safe from the hurt the world has offered me.
It seems that’s all it has ever done.
The curtains are drawn closed and make the room dark, but that's just what I need. I don't want to feel. I don't want to see, and I'm not sure where to go from here. Saving my mom had been my life’s goal for so long and then it had been to get my dad out of prison. If he’s gone and I lack the ability to travel in time? What am I supposed to do?
I promised Dad, no matter what the future held, I would never risk time travel again.
My headache surges with my emotions and I feel time pulling at my skin. Everything falls apart…it begins to pixelate, but it doesn't make sense. I haven't time traveled in years, so what's happening to me? I pull back from the brink and sit up straight in bed as Donovan comes in and places a glass on my end table.
He sits beside me and his fingers get lost in the waves of my hair. "You need anything else?"
I shake my head and sip my water. "You can go do what you need to, I'm just going to sleep anyway.”
"Are you sure?"
I recline into the pile of pillows against the headboard. "I just want to sleep off this headache…and the rest of the day. I don't think I want to talk, or see anybody for a while, if you think that's okay?”
Donovan kisses my forehead, his lips lingering against my skin. I wish I could enjoy it, but I can't. "I'll see about grabbing some dinner. Maybe your favorite little Chinese place?"
"Sure, that sounds nice." It's not true, it doesn't sound nice. Nothing sounds good or right, but Donovan is trying to help and I can afford him that, at least. I roll on my side, away from him and face the closed draperies. I can see the blinding sun, desperate to break through and flood the room. Doesn't seem fair, that it can be so bright and beautiful out there, while in here I'm haunted and shrouded in darkness.
I don't know if I'll ever feel the light again.
Donovan lingers, worried about me. I close my eyes and listen for the door latching slowly behind him when he eventually goes. Someday, I can make it up to him.
I wait for sleep to take me, but instead of sleep, I tumble into darkness. The pain overtakes me; I can't sleep. I can't even think. The pounding behind my eyes and the shooting pain in my temples make sleep impossible. Images flash in my mind; I see a lab. I see Cameron and someone else, but I can't quite put my finger on who. I roll over in the bed, desperately trying to drown out the flood of images coming at me hard and fast. I don't get it, my head hasn't hurt this much in years, it's that mind-numbing brain bleeding. A feeling I thought I would never have again.
Tears stream down my face as I sit up and gasp for breath. I know this feeling. It’s two timelines merging into one brain, but how is that possible? I haven't traveled in time. I haven't done that in years.
My vision goes dark. I blink then snap my eyes open wide. I’m no longer sitting in my bedroom.
I'm standing in an alley.
****
I'm wearing a gray hoodie and a pair of loose blue jeans. My curly hair is tucked underneath the hood and I’m standing in the rain, leaning against a brick wall as if I'm waiting for someone to greet me.
A woman in a long gray coat and a red scarf steps out from the dark. She takes off her hat and a bundle of blond hair tumbles down in waves reminiscent of my own. "Thanks for agreeing to meet with me.”
Her voice is familiar and the realization rolls over me that it's Cassidy. Cassidy Winters, my great niece from the future. What was she doing here? I cannot remember this meeting, even though I’m clearly standing right in front of her. Obviously, it happened, so why can’t I remember?
I cross my arms and my foot taps in agitation. "We were supposed to maintain radio silence. Do you know how hard it was to get away from Dad?"
Cassidy shakes her head, her voice strained. "We don't have a choice. Cameron is getting suspicious. If I keep him from the bridge much longer, he’s going to suspect what’s going on.”
I sigh. "If you let him onto the bridge he—."
"I know. He’ll know I’m working against him and that can’t happen.”
I sigh and shake my head. "What is your plan exactly?"
Cassie takes a deep breath and gazes around as if she expects someone to be watching or listening. "You’re not going to like this, but bear with me.”
“All right,” I say slowly.
“I can tell him everything,” my eyes grow wide and Cassidy holds up a hand to silent me, “I tell him how you kidnapped me and tried to turn me against him. But I tell him, it didn’t work. Instead, I tell him our plan, and we use that to bring you into the bridge. What he won't know, is that I'm really working against him. I'll go through the motions just as we said, to get Donovan to take the papers and then when Cameron least expects it, we capture him in the bridge. There's only one problem with my plan.”
My nose scrunches up. “That’s a crazy plan, Cass.”
“It might be our only shot, but there’s one wrench. If I do all this, the Lara that's with Donovan right now pretending her dad is dead will have no memory of this conversation and won't know what to do. She won’t realize the plan is still on, just slightly modified.”
A deep stirring of grief collects in my chest and my arms drop to my side.
"Other Lara and I will need to merge together. I’ll need to roll back into her and if I'm captured by Cameron, that won't be allowed to happen."
Cassie slowly nods, grief on her face. "There's one way we can guarantee you roll back into Other Lara in a way that Cameron won't suspect a double-cross,” she takes a deep breath, “Do you think you could do it? Do you think you could let that happen?"
I rub my face with one hand and my mind drifts off, deep in thought. "Funny, Other Lara and I just recently talked about sacrifice and what was really going to be necessary to see this through. I just didn't think it would be me."
Cassidy grips my arm and her lips purse together. "For what it's worth, it's going to kill me to watch any of you go." We hug and I feel as if I’m hugging my sister.
I nod. "How can we be sure that Cameron will put Original Lara back in play?"
"I know him pretty well. I can manipulate him in a fashion that he will want Original Lara to watch his success. If he wants to wipe her memory first, that part is tricky, but if I can get him to assign me the job…I can manipulate the computer. I'm going to get rid of Lara’s short-term memory and push all those thoughts to the back of her mind. She’ll still have them, but it’l
l take longer for them to come to the surface.”
“I guess there’s nothing left to say.” I chew on the inside of my cheek, realizing every minute that passes is a minute closer to my death.
Cassidy nods and gazes out of the alley. "I guess we should end this meeting. We’re going to have a big show to put on.”
"Let's get it done." There is grief and horror in my heart, but now at least I know what I need to do. I know I'm going to keep Dad safe but to do that, I’m going to have to throw him and myself into harm’s way
****
Suddenly I'm back in my room.
I gasp for breath and fall onto the floor, taking the brunt of the pain through my knees. Cassidy and I had been working together, but…. She—a flood of memories overtakes me.
Cassidy crying on the floor of an office building.
She has a seizure in my arms as we lie in the street.
The memory download speeds up, it is as if flashcards are flipping through my mind at harrowing speed.
I'm in the lab with Cameron. I’m scared as he grabs me.
A cry from behind a glass door shows me the face of my dad, alive and well, but terrified.
Molly out of desperation clings to me. And last of all, someone forces me into a chair—a chair I remember all too well.
My eyes snap open and I roll onto my back.
My headache is gone. My vision is clear. And my purpose is as defined as ever.
I grab my phone from the end table and scroll to the calendar. Just one week to go before we can slam the door on Cameron Kincaid.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Going through the motions of the week are harder than I expect. I have dinner with Mom and watch her try not to cry. I'm forced to meet her at Dad’s apartment, to go through his things even though I know soon, he's going to return. I convince Mom that this is all going to take time, and we should go slow.
