by Meara Platt
The smuggling operation he’d come up here to investigate was also linked to a possible rebellion plot. But talk of overthrowing the king was mostly taproom chatter and those who did the chattering were often so deeply in their cups that they could not stand up without their legs giving out from under them.
John wouldn’t know how it felt to be drunk, for he’d never allowed himself to lose control. But he did understand the looks the men were casting Nicola, for that sleepy slant to her eyes and the lush curves of her body made her look sultry and at the same time temptingly innocent. “Nicola,” he said in a whisper, leaning close so that his lips almost touched her ear, “if anyone asks…”
“Asks what?”
“Just say you are my wife. Lady Bainbridge. Newly wed. Just married in London last month. It’s important. They’re likely to run us out of town otherwise. Or do worse.”
“Such as hurl stones at us?” She nodded. “They must already be wondering what we are doing here at this hour and in these inappropriate clothes.”
“They are. I don’t want to make matters worse.”
She nibbled her lip. “Let’s go then. Just a quick stop at one of the local shops to pick up something suitable for me to wear and then we can be on our way. I’ll change into the new clothes once I’m in the boat. The sooner we’re gone, the better for both of us. I won’t rest easy until we are well out of Somersby’s grasp. As it is, it will take him less than a minute to find out we passed through here should he decide to search north.”
He covered her hand with his own to reassure her.
Nicola quickly chose a sturdy gown, boots, and stockings at a nearby shop that sold woolens. She also selected a tartan shawl and a clan tartan for him. “John, you must have something to keep you warm while we’re on the water.”
He wanted to protest, for they’d spent too much time in town already. They were running for their lives, yet she was worried about him catching a chill. He grinned, somehow liking the fuss she was making over him. He’d closed himself off so completely for most of his life and wasn’t used to these little gestures of concern. “Are we good? Anything else you need, Nicola?”
“Perhaps a comb and some soap?”
He nodded and turned to the shopkeeper, a bright-eyed, older woman by the name of Mrs. Fraser. He supposed half the townspeople went by the name of Fraser and the other half by Grant since those were the major clans in the area. “Would you by any chance have these items?”
There was little on display in the front of the shop but shawls and scarves. However, every time the friendly, older woman went into her back room, she came out with exactly what they needed. “Och, indeed. A few lovely combs and several lovely, scented soaps, my lord,” she said, casting him a knowing smile.
He also bought ribbons for Nicola’s hair, and then they waited for Mrs. Fraser to wrap their purchases. With packages in hand, they hurried to the blacksmith to retrieve Valor before heading to the boat.
To John’s relief, Valor walked up the gangplank without fuss. The horse’s hooves made a light clip-clop against the wooden slats. Nicola had gone aboard first, and it was her coos and petting that calmed Valor and got him safely on deck.
Nicola turned to John and graced him with a gentle smile once Valor was secured. “That went well.”
John laughed and absently drew her into his arms as they pulled away from the dock. He hadn’t been thinking, just acted because it felt natural. Nicola did not seem to mind, so he made no move to step away.
Nicola sighed and rested her head against his shoulder. “Thank you,” she said softly.
“I should be thanking you.” He wrapped her more securely in his arms, for the boat was beginning to pitch and roll with greater force now that they’d pulled away from the dock. They stood together, her back pressed to his chest, both gazing at the town that would soon disappear from view. The mist began to surround them and would soon swallow them up completely in its shrouded folds.
She turned her head slightly to glance up at him. “Why would you thank me?”
“I think the ledger you found might contain the information Jordan and I came up here to uncover. It would have taken us weeks to figure out what you managed to put in my hands in a single day.”
She turned fully to face him. “Aunt Bess is the one who deserves the credit.”
He sighed. “She would never have been snooping around Somersby’s lodge without your urging. Promise me you’ll never do anything so foolish again, Nicola.”
She gave an indignant huff. “It wasn’t foolish. I had to do something to protect my family.”
“It was dangerous. You might have been killed.” Their luck had held so far. Even Valor appeared to be responding well to the roll of the waves and the tip and sway of the boat. However, the boat wasn’t very big and Valor, who was penned in on the deck, would be easy to spot from shore once this morning haze lifted. “We’re not out of danger yet.”
He thought once more of the young boy he’d tied up when they’d made their escape a few hours ago. Could he be trusted to direct Somersby and his ruffians westward? John had to believe the lad would, but he was also concerned that Somersby would see through the lie and harm the boy. His stomach began to roil and his anger mounted at the thought that an innocent child might come to harm for doing him a favor.
No, the lad was quick-witted and could take care of himself.
Still, John resolved to quietly ask after him when he returned to Invergarry to tie up whatever loose ends remained from his assignment.
His thoughts returned to Nicola, who was once again leaning back against his chest, comfortably nestled in his arms as they watched the curtain of mist descend between them and the town, causing it to disappear from view. They still had a long way to go to reach Edinburgh, and he wasn’t certain he had sufficient funds to get them there without Nicola enduring more hardship. In truth, she still hadn’t complained and was not the sort who ever would.
He decided to call on his connections in Inverness as soon as they arrived. They could help him secure additional funds, and he hoped those funds could be raised quickly, for he dared not spend an hour more than necessary in that coastal town. He would be recognized and could not risk the news reaching Somersby.
He and Nicola would have to travel at a fast pace, but there was no reason to deprive Nicola of all comfort.
After a few moments, she eased out of his arms. “I had better change out of my gown.”
He nodded and cast her a tender grin. “Need help?”
She blushed. “I’m afraid I will. These elegant gowns are not designed to be easily slipped on and off. I don’t think I can reach these pearl buttons down the back.”
While Captain Grant and his crew, comprised of his two sons, Hamish and Malcolm, busied themselves with the sails, John helped Nicola climb down into the hold. The stairs were steep and the hold was dark and empty. It smelled of rotted fish. “Oh, dear. I hope I don’t smell as foul as that.”
He chuckled while lighting the small lantern hanging on a peg near the ladder stairs. “I fear we shall both be a little ripe by the time this boat reaches its destination. But I’ll settle you in a quiet inn once we dock at Inverness and order a hot bath to be brought up to our room.”
“Our room?” Her eyes widened in surprise.
“I dare not leave you alone, Nicola. And we will be refused everywhere in town if the innkeepers believe we are traveling together while unmarried. It won’t matter whether I order one room or two. This isn’t London. No one here will turn a blind eye to our ‘sin’ even if I slip them a few extra coins.”
She began to nibble her lower lip in consternation. “Speaking of coins, how much do you have left? You’ve spent on the blacksmith, our food, my clothes, and this boat.” She shook her head and sighed. “I didn’t think to carry a purse on me. That was a stupid oversight on my part.”
He came to her side. “I would not have taken your coins.”
“John, that’s r
idiculous. You’d rather see us sleep out in the cold than take anything from me? I would have loaned the sum to you. I know you would have paid me back. Not that I would have required it, but you would have insisted.”
He gave her cheek a light caress. “You don’t have a purse on you. I’m almost out of funds. No point arguing over this. I have a few errands to run as soon as we reach Inverness. The first will be to secure a loan. The next will be to book passage for us on the next boat to Edinburgh. We won’t have long to wait, hopefully no more than a few hours, assuming the weather holds and the boat departs on time.”
“And if the weather doesn’t hold?” she asked, staring up at him with her sleepy, slanted eyes. Her full, sensual lips were lightly pursed and beckoning.
He turned her so that she was facing away from him before he gave in to the urge to kiss her. “We’ll get you a horse and ride to Edinburgh together. Stand still. Stop fidgeting.”
“I’m not fidgeting.”
“You are. You jump every time I touch you.”
“I can’t help it. Your hands are cold. Be careful. Don’t rip the buttons.”
“Any more orders?” he grumbled. Did she think this was easy for him? Undressing her and knowing he could never touch her intimately. “Most women like it when I put my hands on them.”
She gasped. “You’ve done this with other women? Of course, you have. I… I…”
Lord, she sounded heartbroken. He cursed himself for a bumbling fool. Somersby had cheated on her and she was still bruised over it. “None that ever mattered.”
That was an even stupider thing to say. He quickly undid the last two buttons and then put his hands on her shoulders, stroking them gently with his thumbs. “Nicola, I’m nothing like Somersby. There’s no question I’d be faithful to the woman I love once I declared my intentions.”
“I know.” She slowly released her breath that ended in a quiet sob. “Do I matter to you, John?”
More than the moon and stars.
Hellfire. Hellfire. “Of course. Julian will have my hide if I allow any harm to come to his little sister.” He should have released her and moved away. But he could not bring himself to let her go.
The gown had fallen off her creamy shoulders, exposing her bare back and shoulders to his view. It should have slipped to the floor, for silk was light and supple. But Nicola was clutching it tightly to her bosom… her gloriously ample bosom that would fill the cups of his palms. “You know that isn’t what I’m asking, John.”
Her gown would slip off with a gentle tug. That’s all it would take to strip it off her. That’s all it would take for him to lose control and break every promise he’d ever made to himself. He’d vowed to find the men who murdered his parents. He’d vowed to exact revenge on them. He’d vowed to destroy evil wherever he found it. He’d vowed never to put those he loved at risk. “Don’t, Nicola.”
To admit that she mattered to him would make him vulnerable again and he’d vowed never to allow it to happen. Nicola was his weakness. His hunger. His yearning.
She released another ragged breath. “Do I matter to you?”
He needed to let her go. Why couldn’t he let her go?
The lantern light shone on her thick riot of curls and illuminated their beautiful reds and browns. He wanted to pull out the pins holding up her hair and watch the fiery strands fall in a wild tumble around her soft, creamy shoulders. He wanted to plunge his hands through the silky length of that lush mass.
He wasn’t certain he could maintain his control if she turned around.
Don’t turn around, Nicola.
Don’t turn around.
The gown slipped lower.
“John…”
He growled low in his throat.
She turned around.
CHAPTER 6
NICOLA HADN’T A moment to catch her breath before John’s lips descended on hers and she was captured in his crushing embrace. Oh, dear heaven. This is what she’d dreamed of, to be swept into John’s arms, to be kissed and loved by him with all the passion in his soul, a passion he took such great care to hide.
But he wasn’t hiding it now.
Nor was he being coy and giving her a mere peek at another layer. No, he had opened himself wide and was baring his heart and soul to her. She could respond with no less. No hiding any of herself to him. She would allow this kiss to lead wherever it may, for she’d wanted him so badly all these years, never understanding why her body cried out for him.
Only him.
She ached for his touch.
Needed his touch.
Needed his heart.
And yet, she’d almost settled for something less.
John gave a sexy growl as he deepened the kiss, taking possession of her mouth and demanding no less than possession of her soul in return. There was an animal intensity to the press of his lips on hers, to his sensual touch, a feral power that surrounded her and carried her in its forceful grip.
She wanted to release the gown she’d been clutching, for she wanted nothing between them now. But John would not allow the cool silk to slide down her body and pool at her feet. Even as his kiss turned wilder, hotter, he refused to lose control. He refused to take more than this splendid kiss from her.
She felt his building passion, felt the heat flowing through him just as it was flowing through her, felt the coiled tension in his muscles. Yet he took care to be exquisitely gentle with her. She knew he would never hurt her. This was John, a man always struggling to control his raw desire, for he was as much a protector as he was a hunter, and protecting her mattered more to him than anything else.
She mattered to him.
She had her answer.
Thank goodness, she mattered.
But she sensed that it would break his heart if he were forced to admit it to her.
She ran her hands along the muscled length of his arms and then circled them around his neck to draw him closer. It felt important to hold onto him, somehow to make him understand that this was right, that she would never betray his heart if he allowed her in.
She doubted this first kiss was enough to convince him.
There would be others, she hoped. For now, she would take all that he was willing to give and simply enjoy the moment. How could she not enjoy? Mother in heaven! The man was built of granite. All of him, from his massive shoulders anchored to muscled arms and broad chest. His taut, lean waist and powerful legs.
But it wasn’t merely his physical beauty that attracted her. John was so much more than a handsome facade. He was a man of valor. All those he protected slept peacefully because he watched over them. It was no coincidence that he’d thought to name his stallion Valor.
To be noble. To honor and protect. This was John, the valiant knight who’d give his life for right and justice.
She pressed against him to soak in the heat of his body and reveled in the touch of his rugged hands as he ran them across her back and then brought one forward to cup her breast. Fire exploded within her, a hot burst of molten desire that flowed like lava through her body.
He wasn’t gentle, but neither was he hurting her. He could never hurt her, even though he was unleashing his pent-up desire and perhaps a little anger that she’d pushed him into revealing more of himself than he’d ever intended. Anger aimed at himself and not at her.
He drew his mouth from hers and began to kiss his way down her body, suckling the wildly beating pulse at the base of her throat.
Starlight exploded before Nicola’s very eyes. “John, oh…”
But the soft release of his name suddenly brought him to his senses. He groaned and shook his head as though wanting to take back what had just happened. “This cannot be. Nicola, I’m sorry. This cannot be.”
“But it was. It did happen. I’m not at all sorry.” She placed her hand against his cheek, fully aware that she stood beside him with her gown about to slip off her body and leave her bare. It would have slipped off by now if not for the strength and tender
ness of his arms that were still wrapped around her. “You said I’d know it when you kissed me. You certainly proved that true. It’s all right, John. I’m not asking for more than you are ready to give me.”
He kissed her palm with the same fierce gentleness as their first kiss. “That’s the problem. I can’t give you more. Not now. Not yet.”
She nodded. “But you will in time.”
“I don’t know, Nicola. Perhaps not ever.”
She refused to believe him. He’d just given his heart to her with that kiss. Reluctantly, to be certain. However, to force him to acknowledge what he’d done seemed wrong when he was so obviously tortured by what he perceived as weakness in himself.
He kissed her on the forehead. “You must be cold. Let’s get you dressed.”
He turned away, his gaze now fixed on the ladder stairs as though they held endless fascination. Sighing, she slipped out of her delicate gown and quickly folded it before placing it carefully beside the package containing her new purchases. She donned her new linen undergarments, and then the woolen gown and stockings. The gown had been boiled in a plain, brown dye, but when John turned back to help her lace it up, one would think it had been a shimmering, gossamer fairy gown, for his eyes lit up.
He almost smiled, but stopped himself in time. “It fits.”
Nicola struggled to hold back tears. She’d loved this man all her life. Yet, until this very moment, she’d had no idea he reciprocated the feeling. He’d never let on, always guarded himself. Even now, instead of feeling happy about the kiss they’d shared, she could see that he was angry and frustrated with himself. He considered their kiss a sign of his weakness.
Would he ever accept that love was the answer to his torment? Could he kiss her like that and not love her? He’d said he was nothing like Somersby. In her heart, she knew that he wasn’t. But neither was he ready to declare his feelings for her.
She held her breath as he leaned close, his hands lightly grazing her body while he tied the row of laces that she could not reach herself. “John…”
