by Hart, Rebel
I shook my head. “Nope. After I’m done, I want to fall against my girl and feel her catch me with her softness.”
“You’ve always been attracted to fatties. I don’t get that.”
“Not fatties, Roy. Just those girls with a little more to give is all. Trust me, if you ever feel a pair of soft thighs wrapped around your waist, you’ll never go back.”
“No, thanks. If her thighs rub together, you can count me out. You know how badly pussy smells after thighs have been rubbing against it all damn day? Fucking hell, no thank you.”
I chuckled. “Pussy stinks anyway. Get over it, or don’t eat it.”
He shrugged. “Marina’s don’t stink. I don’t know what the fuck she does to it, but it smells like fucking candy and roses, man. Keeps it bare for me, too. I mean, every inch of her is just smooth as ice cream. When I do feel like going down on her, I’m there for a while. Especially since she lets me do practically whatever I want if I can make her come a few times with my tongue.”
“A few times? Let’s not overstate now.”
“What? Okay, okay. Three times with my tongue. The most I’ve ever done.”
“On Marina? Or in general?”
He grinned. “Not enough detail for you yet?”
As Roy launched into yet more stories about his girlfriend, my mind drifted back to Rae. I wondered if she’d gotten home okay last night. If I’d see her again, privately. I thought forward to Monday, and whether or not things might be weird at school. Would she acknowledge me? Would it be business as usual? Was she embarrassed that she’d slept with me?
I found myself hoping she wasn’t embarrassed at all. In fact, I found myself hoping we could actually be civil.
Maybe even kind to one another.
“Earth to Clint, you there?”
I shook my head. “Sorry. I was drowning in the boring stories of your sexual escapades.”
He gawked. “Boring? Boring!? You call fucking my girlfriend in her parents’ bed four times boring?”
“No, I call it nasty. Because that’s their marital bed. All they do is fuck in it. So now, technically, you’ve fucked Marina, her mother, and her father. Because you know their shit’s all over that mattress.”
He paused. “Holy fuck, I need to shower again.”
And as I threw my head back with laughter, Roy scampered off into his house. Readying himself for the scrub-down of the century.
Which gave my mind more time to drift back to Rae.
17
Raelynn
I drew in a deep breath before knocking on Allison’s front door. I’d barely gotten any sleep last night, and I needed to talk with my best friend. But not Michael. Holy shit, Michael would kill me if he knew what had happened.
“Hey there, Rae! Come in, come in. You hungry? There’s still some leftover breakfast.”
Allison’s mother was an absolute ray of sunshine. I smiled at her as I walked through the door she held open for me, feeling the cool air conditioning of their home envelop me. I had to hold back tears. I was more emotional than I’d ever felt in my life, and I sure as hell didn’t want to be explaining to Mrs. Denver why I had come to her house crying.
“We’ve got biscuits, some eggs that are still warm, sausage I can reheat—”
“I’m actually not hungry. But thank you, Mrs. Denver,” I said.
She quirked an eyebrow. “You? Not hungry? You feeling okay, Rae?”
I snickered. “Just had a big breakfast at my house is all.”
She looked at me for a long time and I prayed she bought the lie. And even though I figured she knew I was lying, she didn’t call me out on it. She simply nodded her head and walked off, calling for Allison as she got to the bottom of the staircase.
I shoved my hands into my pockets, hoping to conceal their trembling.
“Allison! Rae’s here, honey!”
“Coming, Mom!”
“Thanks, Mrs. Denver. I appreciate it,” I said.
She smiled. “Anytime. You know you’re always welcome.”
I nodded. “I know.”
“And if there’s anything you ever want to talk about, just know it stays between us. Okay?”
I smiled softly. “I really appreciate that. Thank you.”
Allison came bounding down the steps with her blond hair up in a bun. She grabbed my hand and tugged me back upstairs, dragging me. Step by step. We stumbled into her room and she closed the door, and the smell of nail polish remover wafted heavily under my nose.
“I figured since we couldn't paint our nails last night, we could do it now. I mean, Michael isn’t here. But we can still do it. Right?”
I furrowed my brow. “Did you set all this out before you came down?”
She snickered. “Not a chance. I just started to change out my own nail polish when Mom yelled that you were here. I figured it was a nice coincidence.”
She flopped down onto the floor, then reached for my wrists. She dragged me with her, and together, we picked out our next nail color. She dropped her feet into my lap before she handed me the pale pink color she wanted on her toes. She’d already cleaned the nail polish off them once, leaving me a dry and alcohol-soaked canvas for which to do my shoddy work.
Which gave me some time to gather my thoughts.
“Did something happen with your mother?”
I shook my head. “No. Not at all. I mean, yes. But that’s not why I came over.”
Allison sighed. “D.J. again?”
I rolled my eyes. “When is it ever not D.J.?”
“What did he do?”
“The usual. Fighting. Mom threw something against the wall at him. Things got heated. I ended up sneaking out of my window and heading to the park last night.”
“Why in the world didn’t you come here? You could’ve stayed overnight instead of going back home after all that mess.”
I paused. “I didn’t go home until this morning.”
“Oh?”
I bit my bottom lip. “I stayed with Clint last night.”
Allison yanked her foot away. “You did what now?”
“It’s not—”
“How in the world did you end up there?”
I sighed. “He found me at the park. Did you know his father slaps him around?”
“Who in the world cares what his father does? How did you end up at his house overnight? Wait a second. Did you—?”
I slowly looked up at her and her eyes bulged.
“You didn’t.”
“It just sort of happened, Allison. I’m still not completely sure what happened.”
She scoffed. “An alien took over your body. That’s what happened. Are you serious? You slept with Clint Clarke?”
My face fell. “Let’s say that a little louder. I don’t think the rest of the block heard.”
“Does Michael know?”
“Hell no! Michael doesn’t know, and he won’t know.”
Allison nodded. “Good. Because after that fight, he’d kill you if he found out.”
“Yeah. I know.”
I screwed the cap back onto the nail polish and tossed it to the ground. I put my head in my hands, trying to steady my breathing as tears rushed my eyes. Allison’s hand came down against my back, drawing small circles with her palms. I drew in a deep breaths as my heartrate skyrocketed. Every time I thought back to last night, my hands trembled. My heart stuttered.
And I still didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing.
Allison kissed the side of my head. “Tell me what happened.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know what happened. That’s the issue. We talked for a little bit. I found out why he’s such a dick all the time. He was kind enough to try and get my mind off D.J. and all that shit. And then, we were in his bedroom and I lost control of myself.”
“There’s gotta be more to this, Rae.”
I shook my head. “There really isn’t. One minute we were talking about our shitty parents, then the next minute he was kissi
ng me and I didn’t want him to stop. It was just—”
“Are you sure we’re talking about the same Clint Clarke here? I mean, the boy who slugged away at our best friend?”
I nodded slowly, feeling so many emotions flood my stomach. Shock. Awe. Happiness. Confusion. But none of it was guilt.
Which confused me even more.
I looked up from my hands. “I really want to tell Michael about it.”
Allison scoffed. “You can’t. After taking the beating he did and stepping up for us—”
“For you.”
I looked over and saw Allison blushing.
“Well, at any rate, after what happened Friday morning, Michael wouldn’t speak to you for a while. He’s awesome and all, but the boy can hold a grudge.”
I groaned. “I don’t like the idea of keeping secrets from my best friends, though.”
She shook her head. “Trust me, it won’t do him any good to know. Plus, you’ve got me. You’ve told me, and you can keep telling me until you come to terms with what’s happened. Because I feel you shaking. I know you regret what happened.”
“That’s the thing. I don’t. I’m not shaking because I regret it. I’m shaking because—”
I flopped down onto my back, staring up at her ceiling fan. How the hell did I explain any of this to her when I couldn't even explain it to myself?
Allison lay down next to me. “You don’t need all the answers now. Just talk about what you can.”
My hands covered my face. “What the actual fuck is happening with my life right now?”
She giggled. “I know one thing we have to figure out, though. And that’s what to do about Clinton come Monday.”
“I… I don’t know, Allison.”
“Well, let’s start with what you want to do. What do you hope happens Monday?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know that either.”
“We should figure it out, then. Because something tells me he’s not going to leave you alone. Nothing is ever that easy with him.”
“I didn’t fuck him so he’d leave me alone.”
She paused. “Then why did you?”
I closed my eyes. “Because it felt like he understood me. And I liked that.”
Allison took my hand as the two of us stared at the ceiling. The smell of nail polish remover slowly faded away, but the memories of last night didn’t. I squeezed her hand, trying not to think about it. Trying not to root myself in last night. But I couldn't help it. The way I’d fallen asleep against Clint. The way his muscles felt cradling me last night. How I woke up at four in the morning only to realize I’d fallen asleep right beside him. Wrapped up in him. With my leg pressed between his and my head tucked underneath his chin.
It was so unlike the Clint Clarke I knew.
And yet, it made all the sense in the world.
Allison cleared her throat. “Penny for your thoughts.”
I squeezed her hand again. “I fell asleep with him last night.”
“What time did you get home?”
“About four-thirty in the morning.”
“Did he take you home?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t want to wake him up.”
“Why not?”
Because I knew if he asked me to stay, I would have.
I sighed. “I don’t know. I don’t know much of anything right now. I just—needed to tell someone. And you were the only person I could think of that wouldn’t completely alienate me for it.”
The room fell silent as butterflies ignited in my gut. The same kind of butterflies I’d had last night. Why the fuck did I feel this way? It felt like I had a crush on the school’s biggest asshole. Which was wrong on so many accounts I couldn't even begin to explain all of it to myself. I closed my eyes, trying to push all the memories away. It was a one-time moment I had the chance to write off as me being completely vulnerable. Not right in the head, what with everything going on between my mother and her bullshit boyfriend. And I knew people would believe me, too. If I told them it was a moment of absolute insanity due to my home life, they wouldn't question things.
But I’d know it wasn’t the truth.
And Clint might pay a hefty price for it.
Why the fuck do I care what kind of price he pays for it? He beat up my best friend!
“Shit,” I whispered.
Allison snickered. “Sounds like we need to find a distraction for you today.”
“You mean we can’t just lie here and debate on ways to erase my memory?”
She giggled. “I mean, it sounds fun in theory. But I wouldn't appreciate it if you forgot all about me.”
“Not my entire life. Just the past forty-eight hours.”
“How does getting lunch out somewhere sound? We can take the mind-erasing from there.”
And as my stomach growled out, betraying my actual hunger, a smile crossed my face.
“Soup and sandwiches?” I asked.
Allison sat up. “Soup and sandwiches it is.”
18
Clinton
I heard my father storm through the door Sunday evening, much later than I figured he’d come back from that damn casino. He was muttering to himself, something about bananas and shoving them down someone’s throat. I grinned to myself as I heard the trash can lid bang against the wall.
Good. He found it.
I heard Cecilia’s soft voice cooing at him. Treating him like some damn child as she tried soothing away his worries and his anger. It was pathetic, really. Listening to a grown-ass woman coddle a grown-ass man like that. I didn’t want to be in the house. Not with her, not with him, and not with the tension they brought with them.
If I was lucky, they’d be on another airplane in the morning. Heading off on yet another trip.
And out of my damn hair.
I picked up my cell phone and shoved it into my pocket. It was late, but I didn't care. I grabbed the keys to my bike and snuck down the stairs, bypassing the living room altogether. Stepmommy dearest and my bullshit father were curled up, watching a movie. And still, I heard him grumbling to himself. He was the most miserable asshole on the face of this planet, and I couldn't wait until I graduated.
Because I had all sorts of plans on how to get out from underneath him.
I opened the side garage door without a sound and rummaged around for the second bike helmet I knew I had stashed away somewhere. And just as I tucked it under my arm, I heard my father’s voice.
“Clint? You out there? You know damn good and well what your curfew is on the weekends.”
I threw my leg over my bike and cranked up the engine. I slipped my helmet over my head, then pinned the other one between myself and the bike. I zoomed out of the garage, leaving my house in the shadows as I tore out of the neighborhood. I didn’t give a shit about my father or his rules. If he wanted to be a decent parent, he could stay home, stay away from the casino, and stop beating up on me whenever he didn’t like something I was doing.
I cruised down the road until I came to the opening of the neighborhood. And instead of taking a right to head on into town, I took a left. I found myself at the mouth of Rae’s neighborhood, and I slowed down to see if I could find her house. I only had a general idea of which one it was. It wasn’t hard to spot once I came upon it.
I recognized that rusted-out bright green bike of hers she used to ride back in middle school.
I looked through the living room window and saw her mother watching television. She was leaned up against someone. Some dude that was snoring away with his head lobbed back. I shook my head as I walked the bike into the driveway. My eyes scanned the front of the house, coming upon one lone light that was on upstairs.
Hopefully that’s Rae’s bedroom.
I put the kickstand down, though I didn’t turn off the engine. I set the extra helmet on the bike, then started picking up gravel rocks from her driveway. I tossed them at the window, missing the first couple of times. But, the third rock landed directly against the gl
ass. Making a much louder sound than I had anticipated.
But it did draw Rae to the window.
“What the—Clint?”
I waved. “Come on down. I have a helmet for you.”
She shook her head. “I can’t. I’m about to go to bed.”
I shrugged. “So?”
“Mom’s downstairs with some guy, Clint.”
“And I’m pretty sure they’re both knocked out. Or in a trance. She hasn’t looked out the window at me yet.”
I watched her bite her lower lip, and the motion tugged at my gut. She looked so cute like that, with her hair in a bun. I preferred it down, like it had been the other night. I saw a smile creep across her face before she closed her window, then the light to her bedroom went off.
At first, I thought she was turning me down.
Until the front door opened.
“Come on. We have to hurry.”
I smiled as I tossed her the helmet. She slid it over her head and I chuckled at her pajamas. She had on these flimsy pajama bottoms that had all sorts of stars and hearts and sparkles all over it. And the tank top she wore barely stayed on her body. She whipped some sort of woven jacket or whatever around her shoulders, then leapt onto the back of my bike.
And when I felt her arms wrap around me, my world slowly settled into place.
“I hope you’re hungry. Because there’s a diner I’ve got my eye on tonight.”
Rae giggled. “And here I thought you had your eye on me tonight.”
I grinned. “I have my eye on you tonight for dessert, that’s for sure.”
“You’re so bad. But you better hurry. If there’s a promise of food, I can’t hold my stomach off for long.”
“A girl that eats. I love it.”
I backed out of her driveway and we tore off down the road. She squealed, clinging to me as I raced us into town. I adored the feeling of her wrapped around me. The way she fisted my jacket and buried her helmeted head against my back. I smiled brightly as we cruised through town. I took the long way to the diner, just so I had more time to savor the moment with her.
Eventually, though, we pulled into the parking lot. And I was all too eager to escort her inside with our hands tangled up together.
