‘But that’s only until eleven. It’s fine, they want to see their grandparents. We’ll do that late morning.’
‘Whatever, but you don’t need to.’
‘Yes, I do, Nick, because we’re spending too much time together and it’s going to make it difficult, especially with David.’
‘How will he know?’
‘Because the children will inevitably say something. All they ever talk about is you and Rufus, and while Oscar and Evie babble a lot and don’t make much sense, Maisie is as clear as a bell and she’s utterly besotted by you. It’ll be Nick did this and Nick did that and he’ll start asking awkward questions.’
His eyes went oddly blank, as if the shutters had come down. ‘And that’s an issue.’
‘Not yet, but it could be.’
He nodded. ‘OK. Well, you’ve got the other room now. Feel free to use it whenever you want and I’ll try and keep out of your way.’
Did he sound hurt? Oh, lord, this was too difficult. Why on earth had she thought it would work?
‘I didn’t mean that, Nick. It’s your house. We should be keeping out of your way, not the other way round.’
‘Ellie, I’m done with this conversation. I know you don’t want the kids getting attached to me, I get that, so I’ll discourage it.’ He picked up his laptop off the side and opened it at the table. ‘Anyway, I’ve got work to do. Sorry.’
She got up from the table, clearly dismissed, and had to tell herself it was what she wanted. Wasn’t it?
‘That’s fine. I’ve got a book to read. I’ll see you tomorrow.’
She walked out without looking at him again, but she felt a little bit sick as she went into the playroom and closed the door, and try as she might, she couldn’t concentrate on the book because the words kept blurring in front of her eyes.
* * *
Damn.
He hadn’t meant to be like that, but she was right, he was spending too much time with the kids, with her, with the whole family thing, and he really hadn’t expected it to be like this.
Well, he was at work in the morning, and he’d take himself and Rufus off later and go and do something else. Maybe go for a walk on the beach, but not here, because that was where they’d go, so he’d go further along towards the pier and keep out of their way.
He got out a wine glass, put it back and made some tea and took it up to the sitting room with his laptop, but he could see the light on in the playroom, and he glanced down and saw her there, her head bent over her book.
He left the lights off and stood in the shadows and watched her for a moment, then gave a sharp sigh, sat down and turned on the table lamp. He was turning into a stalker, for heaven’s sake, spying on her while she read her book. And besides that, he hadn’t lied, he did have work to do, things to read up on, so he made himself do it just so he didn’t add lying to the list of his failings.
* * *
At ten thirty she took the children out to see their grandparents, so Nick could come back to a quiet house. They might get some sandwiches from the kiosk and eat them on the beach as it was a nice day, and if Liz didn’t feel up to giving them lunch.
Obviously not, she realised as soon as Liz opened the door. She’d left the children in their car seats for a moment so she could catch up, and she was glad she had because she was shocked at how tired and strained her mother-in-law looked.
She hugged her gently. ‘We won’t stay long, but the children really want to see you both. Maisie’s been so worried about her grandad, and they’ve all asked to see you. Even Evie beamed when I said your names. She tried to say Grandma, but it didn’t quite work.’
‘Oh, bless her. No, you must bring them in, but just for a few minutes. He’s so tired.’
‘I’m sure. I’m sorry I haven’t been to see him but it’s been—difficult,’ she said vaguely, not wanting to add the burden of her house woes to Liz’s already heavy load. ‘So, how has he been post-op?’ she asked softly.
‘His arm’s been very painful,’ Liz said, ‘and we’re both a bit worried about the blackouts.’
‘Has he had more?’
She sighed. ‘No, but he hasn’t driven for weeks, just suggested I drive if we went anywhere and I should have smelt a rat, but of course being a man he didn’t do anything about it, just waited for it to go away. He didn’t mention it until Nick asked him about the fall, and it’s a good job he did ask or who knows when he would have bothered to mention it. Anyway, he’s had a whole raft of blood tests and he was on a monitor for a while. They think he might have some kind of heart condition which causes—oh, I can’t remember what they called it. Some kind of lock, and they also said something to do with dropping, but they didn’t think it was that.’
‘Drop attack? That’s a name for a certain type of blackout but that’s neurological, not cardiovascular, which would be from a heart condition. They probably said TLoC?’
‘Yes, that sounds like it. So what is it? I was so tired and so worried I didn’t take it all in.’
‘No, I can imagine. It’s short for transient loss of consciousness, which covers all sorts of reasons for fainting or losing consciousness for a brief while. It can be caused by a disruption of the heart rhythm, and it sounds like they think he might have had that. So what happens next?’
‘He’s going to see the cardiologist again next week, but—oh, Ellie, you know him. He hates making a fuss, and he doesn’t want to go, but I’m so worried about him...’
Ellie hugged her gently. ‘He must go. I’ll talk to him. And don’t worry, they’ll sort him out. He might need a pacemaker or drugs to settle it down.’
‘Oh, he’s on a new drug—ami-something?’
‘Amiodarone? It’s an anti-arrythmic, so that makes sense. What’s important is that he doesn’t keep falling over, because as he’s no doubt now realised, it can have consequences.’ She headed back to the car. ‘OK, guys, out you get, but remember, Grandad’s quite sore so you need to be very quiet and gentle.’
She hoisted Evie into her arms and followed them in, and they found Steven in the sitting room, his arm propped up on a cushion, having a snooze.
He opened his eyes as they went in, and his face lit up at the sight of the children.
‘Hello, my babies,’ he said warmly, and Maisie wriggled up beside him and tucked herself under his good arm, and Ellie saw his eyes fill. ‘Goodness, I’ve missed you all.’
‘Are you all right, Grandad?’ Maisie asked him worriedly, and he nodded and smiled down at her.
‘I am now I’m having a cuddle with you.’
Oscar stood at his feet, eyeing the cast in fascination. ‘What’s that?’ he asked, so Steven explained, and then came the inevitable, ‘Why?’
‘Because that’s what happens when you break something. Here, why don’t you play with this?’ Ellie said, and handed him a car out of her bag. ‘Play on the floor with Evie.’
He pulled a mulish little face. ‘But I want a cuddle, too.’
‘You can have a cuddle in a minute when it’s your turn,’ she said firmly.
‘Promise?’
‘I promise. I just need to talk to Grandad for a minute.’
‘Then are we going home to Nick?’ Maisie asked innocently, and she heard Liz suck in her breath.
‘Yes, darling, we are,’ she said, and then met Liz’s eyes. ‘I didn’t want to worry you, but when I got back to my house last Sunday the tank in the loft had been leaking and the power had cut out, so until it’s all sorted it isn’t safe to live there and Nick was kind enough to offer us a roof over our heads until it’s fixed.’
She knew she was being hugely frugal with the truth, but the alternative was to tell her she’d been away for the weekend, and she didn’t want to do that. Not in front of the children.
‘Heavens! Oh, Ellie, you should have come here!’
&
nbsp; ‘No,’ she said firmly. ‘You two had enough to worry about, and Nick’s just moved into a big empty house, and he was there, and he offered, so I accepted. I didn’t really have a choice, but it’s been fine, really, and it’s only for a little while, and we’re paying him rent.’
‘Are you sure? You are having the house properly looked at?’ Steven asked, and she nodded.
‘Oh, yes. It’s being done on the insurance. David knows.’
Not that they were living with Nick, but he would now. She sighed inwardly and turned her attention to Steven, moving the attention away from Nick and back to him.
They didn’t stay much longer, just long enough for her to convince him that he wasn’t making a fuss or wasting anyone’s time and that he couldn’t afford to ignore it, and then she rounded them all up and took them home.
Well, Nick’s home. Not theirs. She had to remember that, because it would be too easy to get used to it and as she’d found out last night, even he had boundaries.
Even so, it felt like home, she thought as she turned onto the drive and parked next to his car. Certainly more like home than their own did at the moment. She’d rescued what she could from the wreckage, including a lot of toys, and she was so grateful to Nick for their little playroom because it gave them somewhere to go so they weren’t always in his personal space. Even if it had felt like it last night.
She was so conscious of that—maybe too conscious of it, but he hadn’t had to offer them a roof over their heads and she didn’t want him to end up regretting it. And a little part of her wondered if he’d suggested giving them the playroom simply because he wanted them out of his way. He’d certainly been happy enough to get rid of her last night.
She hadn’t spoken to him since, and she was a little wary of how he’d be with her, but she needn’t have worried. He appeared at the sitting room door as they went in and smiled at them as he came down to the hall.
‘Hello, all. Where have you been? Have you had fun?’
‘We went to see Grandad. He’s got a big fat bandage on his arm. He broke it,’ Maisie said mournfully.
‘Mmm. I know, I saw him when he did it.’
‘I want a bandage like G’andad.’
‘No, you don’t,’ he said to Oscar, his smile wry. ‘Trust me. Broken bones aren’t very comfy.’
‘Why?’ Oscar asked, tipping his head on one side in a gesture he’d picked up from Nick, and her heart squeezed in her chest. He would have been such a wonderful father...
‘They just are. It’s like if you cut yourself when you fall over, but much more sore.’
‘Did you be broken?’
He nodded slowly. ‘Yes, and it was very sore. It was a long time ago, though, so I’m OK now.’
Apart from the limp when he’d overdone it, and the fact that he’d never be the fantastic father he could have been if only Rachel hadn’t freaked out at the thought of IVF. It must have broken his heart...
She swallowed the lump in her throat and smiled at him.
‘So, how was your first Saturday morning surgery?’
‘OK. No problems.’ He searched her eyes. ‘How’s Steven? On the mend?’
‘Slowly. He’s seeing the cardiologist again next week. They seem to think it was syncope, probably from arrhythmia, so they got cardiology on board. I can’t believe he didn’t tell Liz.’
He rolled his eyes. ‘I know. It’s typical, we hear it all the time. Probably too scared of what he might be told. Have you had lunch?’ he asked, and she shook her head.
‘No. I thought we’d go to the beach and buy some sandwiches and eat them down there. It’s a gorgeous day.’
‘You could come, too,’ Maisie said. ‘And Rufus.’
Ellie held her breath as he hesitated for a moment, then he gave her a slightly crooked smile and passed the buck.
‘Your call.’
The children bounced up and down, squeaking excitedly, and Rufus rushed around and barked with delight, and she laughed and gave up trying to keep her distance.
‘I think that’s a yes,’ she said, and met his eyes and wondered when, and how, she’d done whatever it was to deserve this man.
Except he wasn’t hers, and she’d do well to remember it.
CHAPTER NINE
THEY HAD A lovely time on the beach.
They called in at her house and rescued the windbreak and the buckets and spades from the back of the garage, and set off, armed with cheese sandwiches and bags of crisps, some fruit and a big bottle of water, and of course Rufus, who thought it was wonderful.
They built sandcastles, and dug a moat and tried to fill it with water, and then they got bored with that and dug a hole and tried to bury Nick.
And of course she had to help them, which would have been fine if it hadn’t been for the way he was looking at her as she bent over him and piled sand on his chest and patted it into place.
‘OK, you’ve got me where you want me now, what are you going to do with me?’ he asked innocently, but there was nothing innocent about his eyes.
She sat back on her heels, scooped Evie onto her lap and studied him. ‘I don’t know. Kids, what do you think we should do to him?’
‘Pour water all over him,’ Maisie said, giggling, and before Ellie could stop her she picked up a bucket and ran towards the sea as she’d seen Nick do over and over again.
‘Maisie, no, wait for me,’ she called, but Maisie ignored her, which might have been all right if a huge wave hadn’t come and knocked her off her feet.
‘Maisie!’
She dumped Evie on the sand, but by the time she was on her feet Nick had pelted down the beach and into the water, but the receding wave had pulled Maisie under, and for a hideous moment Ellie was sure she was going to drown.
She didn’t, but only because Nick threw himself into the surf and plucked her out of the sea. He stood up and waded out, Maisie clinging to him, and carried her gasping and sobbing up the beach to Ellie.
Speechless, she reached for her, and he put Maisie into her arms and stood there dripping, his face taut, chest heaving.
‘Is she OK?’
She nodded. ‘I think so. Thank you. Thank you so much. I thought...’
‘I know. So did I, but she’s fine.’
‘Mu-Mu-Mummy,’ Maisie was saying, over and over again, and Ellie held her tight and squeezed her eyes shut to stop the tears.
‘Here, she’s cold, aren’t you, Maisie?’ he said, and she felt him wrap a towel around her little girl and tuck it in. ‘Come and sit down, Ellie. She’ll be fine with a cuddle.’
Would she? Oh, she hoped so, because anything else was unthinkable. Her legs gave out and she sat down with a plonk on the edge of the prom and looked at the other two.
‘Keep an eye on them, Nick. They move so fast.’
‘I know. Don’t worry, I won’t let them out of my sight,’ he said, with an edge to his voice that showed how worried he’d been. ‘I’ll pack our stuff up and we’ll go home and warm up.’
She nodded, and bent and kissed her daughter’s sodden hair, eyes squeezed shut against the tears of relief. She could hear Nick talking to the others, his voice cheerful and reassuring, and gradually she relaxed. Just a tiny bit.
She rocked Maisie until the shuddering stopped, and then she lifted her head and met his eyes.
‘Where are the others?’
‘Right behind you. We’re ready to go. How is she?’
‘Cold but otherwise OK, I think.’
‘I can understand that. I’m freezing. I need a hot shower and I expect she does, too.’ He crouched down so he was on Maisie’s level and smiled at her.
‘Are you OK now, poppet?’
She nodded. ‘I’m—chilly,’ she said, her breath still sobbing a little, and he grinned at her a bit lopsided.
‘Yeah, me too. T
he end of April’s a bit early for a dip in the sea. We might need to try again in the summer—or wear a wet suit.’
She looked at him and laughed, to Ellie’s surprise. ‘You’re wearing a wet suit.’
He looked down and grinned at her again. ‘Yes, I guess I am, sort of. Wet jeans and T-shirt, anyway. Still, it got the sand off.’ He tipped his head on one side in that way of his. ‘I tell you what we need to do. I think we need to go home and have a hot shower, and then make some nice rock buns and eat them while they’re still warm from the oven. What do you think? Shall we go home?’ he asked, holding out his hand to her, and she slipped her hand trustingly into his and slid off Ellie’s lap.
He lifted her up onto the concrete walkway, picked up the bag of buckets and spades, tucked the windbreak under his arm and headed back towards the steps with Rufus at his heels, and Ellie plonked the baby on her hip and took Oscar by the hand and followed.
She watched him, the big, strong man holding her skinny little daughter’s hand and smiling down at her as they walked, and her heart squeezed in her chest. It could all have been so different...
* * *
Maisie was fine after her hot shower, the incident all but forgotten, but not by Ellie.
They’d made rock buns and eaten them, played in the garden with Rufus and then gone to bed after an early supper, exhausted by the sea air and exercise.
Nick had cooked them both a meal while she’d put the children to bed and read their stories, and he was loading the dishwasher now while she wiped down the table and tried not to relive the afternoon again.
‘How do you do it?’ she asked, and he glanced over his shoulder at her with a puzzled frown.
‘Do what?’
‘Make it all seem so undramatic? One minute she’s drowning, the next she wants to make rock buns.’
He smiled wryly. ‘I thought she needed distracting, and I’ve never met a child who didn’t like making and eating rock buns.’
‘No, nor have I but I would never have thought of it. They were an inspired idea. Thank you—not just for that, but for saving her life. I can’t thank you enough for that.’ She felt her eyes fill, and blinked. ‘I thought she was going to drown, Nick.’
Tempted By The Single Mom (Yoxburgh Park Hospital) Page 13
