until 12’o clock with a book in my hand, but I did not end up studying anything. I kept the alarm at 4’o clock. I woke with the bitter alarm sound in my sweet sleep. Snoozing the alarm time for five minutes again and again, I finally woke up at 6’o clock. I hadn’t got enough time neither to study the left out chapters nor to revise the already studied chapters. I got ready early, at least to avoid the unpleasant situation of missing the exam.
I was much afraid that I hadn’t studied anything and with this fear, I entered the exam hall. As I received the question paper, I saw the questions which I had left out had been asked as the detail questions. The questions that I studied thoroughly by expectation had been asked only for the brief answers and for the one mark answers.
On a wing and a prayer I decided to write my own stories. I fathomed that great storywriters, and scriptwriters might have begun their writing journey only in the exam halls. It must be the womb for their thoughts and imaginations. In this serene place when we see everyone writing we would also wish to write something, even if we do not have anything on our mind.
As I started writing I went to the soporific mood and soon after some time I felt like sleeping. I could not control what my hand was really writing. I checked my paper twice to ensure that I hadn’t written the story of the film, which I saw on that previous day.
When the bell rang, the examiner grabbed my answer papers while I was only half finished with my answers.
14.WITH FLOWN OUT COLOURS:
Although I knew, that I had written my exams partially well I ended up replying everyone who bothered to ask,
“How much percentage do you expect?” with a crisp “above 90%."
Almost everyone, who heard this, believed me. One among them was my father. He believed my words, and he was confident about my percentage.
During my tenth standard holidays the only thing, which I was worried about was my results. All my thoughts evolved around getting good percentage and what mattered to me was to be in the toppers list of my class. In those days, I suppose I never yearned for her. I suppose, I at no time thought whether I would meet her or not. I never felt of missing her. I believe that on no account I had used her name in my prayers to the God. Yes in those days, I never loved her; though I suppose I might have had some infatuation towards her.
However, now I could never find out that, in those days whether I loved her or not. When we see things after wearing the green spectacles in front of our eyes, all the things, which we see, appears accomplished with a green coloured shade.
Likewise, at this moment in time, with my heart full of love towards her, when I look back on those past days, in which she was near me, all those days appear to be overshadowed with a shade of my love. I feel like I had been holding the same love towards her on those days, which I is same like now. Nevertheless, I clearly know that what I had felt on those days had been something different from what I conclude to be felt on those school days by me by now.
Whatever the things may be yet I could substantiate one thing to myself, i.e., had she not come into my path after my tenth standard, I am sure that I would not have been in love with her now. She might never have deserved the importance in my heart if she had gone with the shade of infatuation. This beautiful feeling might have happened to me with some other girl. Nevertheless, we can do nothing, as even fate cannot control some inevitable things.
The moment of my tenth result arrived; my father was eager about the result; but at last, it disappointed him very much. All I got was a much less percentage than everyone expected. I knew that I had not given my exams well but that wasn’t the percentage I certainly expected. My tenth result proved to me as a great disaster. My result boat stayed in the border of 80s, while hers and Syed’s boat crossed the 90s.
The other thing that depressed me was my English marks; that was the worst of all the marks I received. I felt ashamed to see my English ma’am straight to her face. She often said to me that,
“You are my favourite student. I expect that you will be a top rank holder in my subject.”
But the marks I had got were not the marks, which a favourite student would get.
Therefore, I did not go to my old school, since I was afraid that my English teacher might be waiting there to present me, her compliments for the marks I have scored. Later, I received the news from my friends that actually, my girl topped in literature. She was a group leader in the physics class but how could she get the top marks in literature as well? Though gloomy as it was, a small consolation was that Syed too got fewer marks in English.
15.WRONG TURN:
Then after our tenth results, Syed and I wished to join another school that was near our old school. Our old school was not that much standardized as like the new school for the 12th standard. At that time, the apple of our eye was our 12th standard results and getting good marks in 12th standard final exam was of great importance to us and as well as to our family. Though we received some decent as well as bad comments on that school from the passed out students, we were determined to join the new school. After analysing various details we received; we were a lot capitulated by the policy of ‘Shuffling’ adopted in the new school. We were not considerably clear about the policy, in fragments all we knew about the policy was that they were to provide a special care to every student based upon their abilities.
Along with our mothers, Syed and I went to enrol our names to the new school and pay the admission fees. As I went near the counter, wonderment filled my eyes. I saw her standing beside her father in the girl’s queue. She saw me and gave me a peaceful smile as if welcoming his old friend.
I went there to explain that to Syed when, I saw him speaking with another friend of us. Then we came to know that most of the friends of us who got above 70% in our tenth standard had the similar thought just like us. Most of them had already joined that new school. Syed and I were extremely joyous because we had all our friends all together, as well as we had a better platform to accomplish our dreams.
Then after joining in the new school, Syed and I as usual went to the bus stand. We went together for the first day of our school. We entered the school and waited in the common hall, where most of the other students and our previous school friends had been waiting. Few minutes later the teachers from that school came and explained the rules and regulations of that school. They gave us the instructions to be followed in that school, and while hearing those we all felt one thing in common that
“We shouldn’t have left our old school."
We understood the real worth of our old school after we left it and joined in the new school which shortly appeared to us like the Military camp. For me something more disastrous had been waiting. They asserted to us that the policy of “shuffling”, which we had been expecting with much trepidation, would be more fruitful to us. We reckoned why some of the students who passed out of the school called our new school a ’Jail’.
A teacher came and to explain about the “shuffling." It was after hearing the establishment of such like policies; we wished to join this school. We thought shuffling would be some great policy until a teacher came and announced,
“According to shuffling, the students will be, first categorised and moved into separate sections and they will attend the classes that will be held in their particular sections in a different manner. With the availability of 160 students, the students are now categorised into four sections each containing 40 students. Section A will contain the top-grade holders followed by B, C and D. The D section will be containing the least grade holders. The A section students will deserve all the facilities such as only the best teachers will be provided to them. On the other hand, we will provide more care for the D section students, such that they will have to study at the school itself for up to night 7’o clock. Now the students are cate
gorised based on their tenth standard marks and they will be shuffled to the other sections based upon the marks they will be getting in the upcoming exams.”
We listened to those with our mind full of abhorrence. I thought that in shuffling I would fall in some other section than the section in which she and Syed would fall. We should not doubt whether some bad things might happen, if we do, that is precisely what happens.
As I doubted, the same thing happened. I went to C-section while she and Syed went to the B section. First, I hated my C section much but after entering the class, I found many beautiful girls. So shuffling did not affect me much. That was furthermore, a happy thing to have your loved one in the nearby section while many other beautiful girls were in your section. Moreover, in my class I also had some other old friends who would dance to my tunes.
16.MA, I FORGOT SOMETHING:
After entering that school my aim of getting good marks in my twelfth standard vanished on seeing most of the students who had gotten very high marks in their tenth standard. I believed it would be hard for me to beat them with my marks. When we become aware that we are not going to win the race then all we will wish to do is walk instead of running.
In Love : Once & Forever Page 8
