“I do hope we get the chance to do that again,” Simon said, nearly out of breath.
“Yes, we shall see,” Emilia replied bashfully, and Simon could tell that she was just as disoriented as he was.
“It was a good idea.”
“Just came to me in the moment.”
“Well, clearly it was effective because I just saw Lady Susana storm off.”
“Serves her right,” Emilia said softly.
“Yes, I suppose that it does,” Simon replied, pulling his hand through his hair.
“Shall we get some refreshments, then?”
“I think that is another sound idea, yes,” Simon replied.
Walking back to the refreshments room, Simon felt the need to hold Emilia’s hand, but he no longer knew what the boundaries were. Just moments before, their bodies had been pressed together, and it was the most delicious sensation that he had ever known. Now, considering that they had crossed that barrier, Simon wished to go further, but was this inappropriate?
He had to consider the fact that perhaps all of this was one-sided. Perhaps Emilia was truly following the plan and Simon was the one that was losing his head. There was no way of telling for sure, and inquiring about it would be embarrassing at best. No, for the time being, Simon would hold his tongue and be grateful for the kiss that he and Emilia had shared. Grateful that Emilia had the gumption to instigate it.
Upon entering the refreshments room, Simon was also grateful that Lady Susana was nowhere in sight. Perhaps she had left the Sheffield ball entirely. Simon didn’t want to be too cruel, but he did delight in the notion that Lady Susana returned home to lick her wounds.
He knew the feeling of it all too well. But why should he care about Lady Susana any longer, anyhow? Emilia was the woman for him, even though it seemed far too bold to think that way. But she had captured his heart and imagination, and after what happened between them that night, she had also captured his body.
“I fear that I need to sit down,” Emilia said.
“Are you feeling faint?” Simon asked, instinctually bringing his hand to the small of her back.
“Just a little winded.”
“I feel the same,” Simon replied, and he escorted Emilia to a chair where she could be seated. He then pulled up another chair and sat beside her.
As they sat there, there was an awkward silence, and Simon thought it curious. There had been no strange silences between them, because the times where there had been a bit of silence it felt natural and perfectly comfortable. But something was stirring between them which neither seemed to give voice to. Instead of probing the issue, Simon allowed it to be. Perhaps it was a good sign. Maybe it meant that Emilia was grappling with her feelings just as much as he was. Finally, Rose stormed in and provided distraction.
“Why are you two sitting here?” Rose asked.
“We’re just resting ourselves.”
“Why would you need to rest yourselves?” Rose asked.
Simon and Emilia turned towards one another, and both broke out into laughter. The laughter stemmed from the fact that they could never possibly tell Rose why it was that they were spent. Not that kissing required a great deal of energy, but it did manage to knock the wind out of those who were exhausted from passion.
“We’ve been dancing a great deal,” Emilia said, and Simon was grateful that she was the one providing explanation.
“Oh, so have I!” Rose said with enthusiasm. “Although, there are not as many handsome gentlemen here as there were at the Crawford ball. Luckily, Sissy is here, and I have met so many new ladies my age.”
“That’s wonderful news,” Emilia said.
“Yes, it is wonderful news,” Rose went on. “I should like to have many, many friends. It’s so charming to know people.”
“Yes, it is,” Simon added.
“Has anyone seen Hortensia?” Rose asked, looking from side to side.
“I haven’t seen her all night,” Emilia said, her brow knit in concern.
“I wouldn’t worry about it too much,” Rose replied. “She’s probably off in a corner sleeping. Or perhaps she has found herself a beau and is off in the corner kissing!”
Simon froze and then felt Emilia turn towards him. Had Rose seen their kiss? It wouldn’t be a scandal if she had, for Simon and Emilia were engaged, were they not? Yet, even for an engaged couple, public kissing was always a faux pas. But Simon considered the fact that he didn’t care who had seen them. The memory of it was so perfect that he would not let it escape his memory for the world.
“We should find her,” Emilia finally said. “It is getting late.”
“Yes, I’m turning sleepy,” Rose said. “I’ll find her so that we can return home.”
“That would be a big help, Rose,” Emilia said.
They watched as Rose flitted away in search of Hortensia, and Emilia turned to Simon yet again, this time concern in her voice.
“Do you feel vindicated?” she asked.
“I do feel like I’ve achieved some level of revenge, yes,” Simon replied.
“That’s all that matters. That and having Lady Susana protest her love,” Emilia said softly, as though the words pained her.
“That would be nice, yes,” Simon said pensively. “But I am starting to think, if she truly loved me, would she ever have left me?”
He couldn’t believe that he uttered that out loud. But Simon had to admit to himself that he was beginning to trust Emilia, and he valued her opinion.
“That is a good question,” Emilia replied thoughtfully. “I have always believed that when people are truly in love, they stay by each other’s side no matter what. However, to the play the devil’s advocate, there are some occasions where a lover removes themself for reasons that are unknown. The course of love is never perfect.”
“So, you think that even if Lady Susana were in love with me, she still could have disappeared for the sake of securing a propitious marriage.”
“There is a chance. Although I do not like this Lady Susana character in the least, and I can’t believe that she did to you what she did. I still think that it’s important to say all of this in order to be fair.”
“I appreciate that aspect of your character,” Simon said. “And do you think that the Duke of Westmoreland could be in love with you, and still do what he did?” It seemed best to turn the tables, and Simon wished to know her mind on the subject.
“I personally do not think that Lord Pendergast was in love with me at all. It seems brutish and strange to do what he did if love were involved. In fact, I think that the only person that the duke will ever be in love with is himself.”
“That does seem true. Although, I can’t understand how he wouldn’t be in love with you,” Simon said warmly.
“The Duke of Westmoreland seems like the type of man who, if he ever did fall in love, would probably be tyrannical in his love. For this reason, I’m grateful that he was not in love with me!”
“You have a sound head upon your shoulders,” Simon said. And a beautiful one. He found himself eager to return to his easel so that he might continue his portrait of Emilia. Ideally, it would be when the master was away. Simon imagined just he and Emilia in the studio, the candles lit, and the rain coming down, just as it had the evening before. In the silence, he would examine every inch of her profile. And were she his wife, he’d undress her and paint her in her natural form, creating a masterpiece that no human eyes but his own would ever see.
Simon was getting ahead of himself . . .
“Do you think that love can be blind?” Emilia asked. Simon found that discussing love with Emilia was a pleasant pastime and eagerly responded.
“I do. Very much so.”
“In what way?” Emilia asked.
“Well, consider my utter blindness when I was in love with Lady Susana. I couldn’t see her faults or her future treachery. Just as you were blind to Lord Pendergast. Love is an interesting potion.”
“That it is.”
>
“I found her!” Rose said, returning to where Simon and Emilia were seated. “She was out on the patio, looking at the moon.”
“It’s a pretty moon,” Hortensia said wearily.
“Come, let us go,” Simon said, getting up from his seat and holding out his hand to Emilia. “There will be plenty of future occasions for us to socialize again in the future.”
“I want to go out tomorrow night, and the next . . .” Rose said.
“How would you like to see the studio?” Simon asked Rose.
“I would love that!” Rose replied.
“You and Emilia should come tomorrow. There’s much to show you,” Simon added. Although he wished to be very much alone with Emilia, Simon still felt an affinity towards her sister, and knew that it pleased Emilia to see her sister happy.
“That is a wonderful idea,” Emilia said with a smile.
“Kingsley has been expressing an interest in having you do some painting of your own, Emilia,” Simon said.
“In the studio?”
“The very same.”
“That would be marvellous,” she said, clasping her hands together.
“We can all have supper, as well,” Simon suggested.
Stepping out into the street, it wasn’t long before their carriage was summoned, and Simon helped everyone inside. As they returned to the Spencer home, Simon watched as all three women fell asleep; Rose leaning upon Emilia, and Hortensia leaning upon the window. There was something remarkably charming about it, and Simon couldn’t help delighting in the fact that he was watching Emilia sleep, for the first time.
His imagination took him to secret places yet again. What would it be like to turn over in bed and see that sleeping face right beside him? How would it be to feel the warmth of her body and breath?
There were so many things that he wished to experience with Emilia, but could he even hold on to hope? In the short period that she had been in his life, Simon had felt himself utterly transformed. That evening’s kiss was further confirmation that his feelings were rapidly accelerating at a dizzying pace.
Simon found himself wishing that his carriage wasn’t going to drop Emilia off at her home. He wished to take her back to Montgomery House and hold her close. He desperately desired to kiss her yet again, but this time, to allow it to escalate to wherever their bodies wished to take them. Simon was having so many carnal thoughts that he felt like a teenage boy introduced to the world of ladies for the first time! How was it that Emilia had such an effect upon him?
Finally reaching the Spencer house, Simon sighed to himself. It was time to say goodbye. He was the first to alight, and then put out his hand to help each lady down. At the door, they were greeted by Dominic in his rolling chair.
“I hope the evening was a success,” Dominic said.
“It was wonderful!” Rose said. “But now I’m so spent,” she added.
“Yes, all come in to bed,” Dominic said, ushering them in.
“I shall see you tomorrow,” Emilia said, turning to him.
“I do hope so,” Simon replied. Every ounce of his person wished to kiss her goodnight, but to do so in front of her father would be a scandal. Simon watched as Emilia walked up the stairs and through the front door of the home. As soon as she was out of sight, her father spoke.
“I trust that everything is going well,” Dominic said, maintaining a fatherly air.
“Very well,” Simon replied, not telling a lie. “Emilia is in good hands.”
As Simon walked back to the coach, he considered the fact that he was telling the truth. Emilia was in the best of hands. He’d do nothing to harm her and would put all of his efforts into ensuring her care at all times. Although he felt that way before the kiss, in the aftermath of the kiss, he felt it even more strongly. Emilia was a priority. He’d think of her all the while that he travelled back to Harlow Greens, then he’d think about her through the night, and lastly, throughout the following day, until she came to Montgomery House yet again.
***
Emilia, although exhausted, was utterly happy. She was still surprised by her own conduct that night but delighted in the result. Kissing Simon had ignited her entire body in a way that she had never experienced before. The kiss had turned her into a woman. Before, in the brief times that she and Simon had shared, she still felt like a girl in his presence. Now, things had changed, and there was no going back.
“Why are you smiling to yourself?” Rose asked as they were walking up the stairs.
“Because I’m happy,” Emilia replied.
“Right, because you’re in love,” Rose said in that same sarcastic tone of voice.
“That is the effect that love has.”
“And does love last?” Rose asked.
“It’s rather a good question,” Emilia said, considering it. “I think that true love can last and even grow with time. Temporary love is more akin to puppy love.”
“I have never heard of puppy love,” Rose said as they were walking down the hall.
“Puppy love is a transient thing. It only happens for a short period and then it fades away.”
“I hope that you don’t have that kind of love,” Rose said, and it warmed Emilia’s heart to hear her sister say that.
“I don’t think so,” Emilia replied. “My guess is that what Simon and I share will be the enduring kind of love.” There was a chill that went down her spine after saying so. Was she speaking the truth, or merely telling her sister what she wanted to hear? Somehow, Emilia did sense that she and Simon had an enduring bond, but thinking about their conversation that night, love could also cause blindness.
Considering all of this, how could Emilia really know the truth of what was happening between her and Simon? The truth was illusive, and only time would tell. But it was Emilia’s greatest hope that their plan would not upset her family, or even destroy it. Would it break Rose’s heart to see the engagement called off? Would it break her father’s heart? Was Emilia’s mother looking down on her from heaven shaking her head in dismay? Emilia tried not to think of all of this for fear that she might call the whole plan off. To do so would truly break her heart, for what would her world be like without Simon in it?
“Come, let me tuck you in,” Emilia said to Rose.
“Very well,” Rose replied.
Emilia waited as a servant, one of the few female servants, helped Rose to undress and put on her nightgown. Once done, Rose hopped into bed, and Emilia pulled the covers over her. She was in amazement at how Rose was turning into a young lady, but when she looked at her, Emilia still saw that little child that seemed to never grow older. Despite her years, and her coming out into society soon enough, Emilia still felt the inclination to tell Rose a bedtime story.
“Would you like to hear about the princess that managed to escape from the foreign tyrant that she was engaged to?”
“Yes,” Rose replied simply.
“Well, the princess had to marry the man because it would create a union between their two families; families that had been feuding for decades. If the princess were to marry the man, it would bring peace and harmony where before, there was war and destruction.”
The Wild Passion of an Eccentric Lady: A Historical Regency Romance Book Page 13
