I could tell a huge difference when I was able to keep from screaming.
The tea in Nelson’s hand looked more appetizing by the second.
Nelson’s voice was rough gravel when he explained, “I couldn’t get to her. She was on the stage and someone grabbed her before I could reach her. There wasn’t enough time. People had started shooting and you were in the car. I thought you were dying… I just… There was not enough time.”
I threw my arms around his middle and felt the hot tea splash on the back of my head.
“Oh for goodness sakes,” Joy grumbled. “Give me that until she’s ready.”
Nelson passed the tea back and his arms wrapped around me. “I’m sorry,” he whispered into my hair. “I’m so sorry. I let everyone down. I lost her. I lost Page.”
My heart simply shattered when I felt his tears in my hair. I cried too. How could he have chosen between Page and me? What a wretched choice!
I imagined Nelson in that pen, torn between his nine-year-old sister and his pregnant girlfriend that was in labor. He had to let one of us go with the very real possibility of never seeing us again.
And he chose me.
It wasn’t fair.
This whole goddamn world wasn’t fair!
“You didn’t,” I promised him through hot tears. “You didn’t lose her. We’ll find her.” He didn’t seem to be listening to me, so I shook him. “Nelson, we will. I swear it. We will find her.”
I had worked myself up again. A second later a contraction tore through me leaving me breathless and panting. I dug my fingers into Nelson’s forearms, unable to feel guilty for causing him pain. I was too oblivious in my descent into fresh misery.
“You need to drink this,” Joy pressed firmly when I could finally breathe again. “We have to relax your muscles or this could get very bad. Please, drink this. Sleep for now. When you wake up, we will know more.”
“How?” I whispered, daring to hope. Joy was like no woman I had ever met before, except for maybe Reagan. She was completely confident and straight-forward. Something shined from within her, brightening everything about her. I trusted her immediately, even though I shouldn’t. I relied on her already, even though I knew better. She had this way about her that promised she knew better.
“We sent Luke and Miller to scour the marketplace. They will find out where she’s been taken. The riot died down an hour ago and people are back to work. The boys will find out who took her.” She patted a handkerchief to my forehead, wiping away sweat and managing to somehow comfort me.
“Miller?” I had nearly forgotten about him. There as just so much happening right now.
“He was with me,” Nelson confessed through a sandpapery voice. “Of course, I grabbed him.”
I wondered if Miller was another reason he couldn’t go after Page. As tough as Miller wanted to believe he was, he was still a child compared to the rest of the world and severely malnourished. He wouldn’t have been able to push through that crowd without Nelson or see over it to find where I had been taken.
My lungs rattled as I tried to keep breathing steadily.
Page. Where was she? What had happened to her by now?
If we did learn who took her, would we even find her alive?
“Drink,” Joy commanded. “Please.”
I took the teacup again. It was no longer hot. The thin tea had cooled almost completely by the time I lifted it to my lips.
I grimaced as I tried to struggle it down. It was both sweet and bitter at the same time, both too weak and somehow way too strong. It left a film of grit in my mouth and I fought the urge to wipe my tongue on my sleeve.
I shivered, “Yuck! What was that?”
Joy chuckled at my response, “The first cup we made you drink, you promptly threw it up. Let’s hope you keep this one down.”
Good idea. “So medical missionaries?” I asked, changing the subject. Anything to keep my mind off what could be happening to Page right now. It wasn’t as though I wanted to deny her potential mistreatment and underestimate or ignore the very real danger she was in, but if I thought about it right now I would lose my mind. I would go into a full panic and that would not be good for my precarious health right now. “How did you manage to not become slaves?”
Andy and Joy shared a look before he admitted, “Resources. We have enough to buy our safety.”
“But there are just two of you,” I pointed out. “Couldn’t they overtake you?”
Andy slapped his hands together and rubbed them like a mad scientist, shooting me an impish grin. “Ah, my dear girl,” he said. “Most of the time our most valuable resources are not something that can be stolen.”
My brows drew down even as my eyelids grew heavy. “You mean knowledge,” I said sleepily.
“That’s right! They could turn us into slaves, but then who would heal their sick? Or mend their injuries? We have become a very important ally in this place.”
Nelson looked around the well-stocked bungalow. The bed I lay in wasn’t in an enclosed room. Instead the entire house seemed to be one big room. From my bed I could see a kitchen with a small eat in breakfast nook.
“So… they just leave you alone?” Nelson pressed. “You provide medical services and they let you be?”
Andy looked down at his hands, “For the most part. But they don’t like us here either. They don’t like that we have so much but don’t want slaves or power. They feel threatened by us. Right now, to them, we’re a necessary evil.”
Nelson’s thumb rubbed over the back of my hand in a soothing gesture, lulling me to sleep. “Have you tried to leave?”
“Not yet,” Andy nearly whispered. “We’re… we’ve entertained the idea.”
“Where would you go?” I slurred. “Where can you go that’s better?”
There was silence for a long time. My eyes closed and I hovered near the long drop into real sleep. When Andy spoke again, I couldn’t decide if I had dreamed it or not.
Surely his words could not have been real.
“We don’t want better,” he said. “We’re not looking for ease or simplicity. We’re trying to obey. We’re trying to figure out what God has planned for us.”
“And what do you think that is?” Nelson sounded incredulous and if I hadn’t been knocked out, I would have smiled.
I thought I heard Andy begin to speak, but then a door slammed open somewhere and loud footsteps smacked the smooth, red concrete floor, rushing us.
I tensed as much as I could and waited for the blowback.
But it never came.
“We found her!” a squeaky voice explained. “We found out where she is!”
“What?” Nelson demanded. “Say it again.”
“We found her, Nelson,” Miller explained. “We know where Page is.”
It was in the very next moment that I finally succumbed to the tea and drifted off into a nightmarish sleep filled with a defiant, angry Page and starved, raging Zombies.
Chapter Four
The next time I woke up, I actually felt rested. I marveled at the softness of the bed and the pillow beneath my head.
I hadn’t slept with a pillow since we made our home at Gage’s compound and I hadn’t slept in a real bed in so much longer.
My back was stiff from the unfamiliar cushion. I stretched out and realized I had to pee.
That was a very good thing.
My throat didn’t feel on fire and my insides didn’t feel shriveled. Wow.
Nelson stirred next to me. He had pulled up a chair and fallen asleep with his head in his hands. I doubted he meant to sleep, but I was glad he had, even for just a little bit.
With his sister missing and so far from his brothers, I knew it would be hard for Nelson to do anything until we got everyone back.
“Hey,” he murmured, in a raspy voice.
“Hey,” I smiled softly at him. There were so many things to be afraid of right now, but two of my biggest fears seemed to have disappeared.
&nb
sp; For now.
I didn’t lose Nelson and I hadn’t gone into early labor.
Eventually I would have to face labor and what it would be like to bring a baby into this world, but I was glad that day didn’t seem to be today.
“How are you feeling?” he asked gently. His fingertips ran down my temple before he splayed his palm across my cheek and then slid his fingers back, into my hair.
“I’m better,” I promised him. “Much better. I don’t feel a contraction coming on and my body feels… lighter. I think the worst of this has passed.” I waved at my belly with my free hand so that he would know I was being topic-specific. We were still smack dab in the worst of everything else.
“Good.” His entire body relaxed with that news. I might have aged him a few decades today, but he finally seemed able to get a grip on himself, on this situation. “You had me worried there for a bit.”
Joy appeared again and handed me a glass of clear water. “I boiled it. It won’t make you sick.”
I let out a shaky sigh. “Thank you.”
“You need to stay better hydrated,” she scolded. “You’re in the desert, my dear. You must know how important water is for survival.”
I refrained from rolling my eyes, choosing to glare at her instead. “The last time someone offered me a drink of water, they hit me over the back of the head, knocked me unconscious and then tried to fatten me up so they could eat my baby!”
“They didn’t try to fatten her up,” Nelson amended. “They never offered food.”
Joy looked thoughtful for a few moments, “I thought they were rumors. I didn’t know they were real.”
“Oh, they’re definitely real,” I confirmed. “If I were you, I’d avoid checking out any mine shafts. Or caves of any kind. Stay away from the cannibals. They are not nice people.”
“Andy,” she called over her shoulder. “The cannibals are real. Better write that down.”
“Write it down? Why?” Nelson sat up straighter, always on the alert for some kind of threat.
Andy started rummaging around in the kitchen, searching the cornflower blue cabinets for something. His gaze flickered to Nelson and then back to a drawer filled with… well… junk.
Reagan’s mom had once told me that every kitchen had a junk drawer, no matter who the kitchen belonged to. She said junk drawers united us, brought us closer together because there was always one place in our houses that we were too lazy to keep organized.
I realized then that she was right. Really, truly, if Andy and Joy had a junk drawer in the middle of the Mexican desert, then that probably meant everyone else left in the world had one too.
That weirdly humanized the moment.
Andy pulled out a leather journal and marked down cannibals. “Thanks for the heads up,” he said. “That will come in handy when we go north.”
“North?” Nelson rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. “How far north?”
Andy walked back over to the bed while Joy disappeared into the kitchen. The sun had set outside and the darkness had crept in the small house. Lanterns had been placed around the house and cast long shadows on the wood beams overhead.
Joy gathered some things from the kitchen and disappeared out the back door. I could smell a fire burning and hoped she went to make dinner. She was so domesticated; I couldn’t help but be in awe of her.
Keeping house during the Zombie Apocalypse seemed so shockingly normal.
Especially after our months on the run.
“We’re planning to return to America,” Andy admitted on a long sigh, as if just saying the words was a struggle.
“But why?” Nelson demanded. “You have a nice place here. You have food and freedom. The Zombies are nearly contained here. I know you have your fair share of concerns too, but there is no way of getting around those. You’d be trading one dictator for another equally bad dictator. America is not what it used to be. We know from experience.”
Andy winced, “Do you ever wonder where all of this evil came from?” He ran his hand through his peppery hair, tugging at the roots. “I know there are good people in this world, but where are they? Where did all of these bastards come from? How did we get here? I just, I don’t know what happened.”
He wasn’t a tall man, but taller than me and quite a bit shorter than Nelson. He wasn’t especially muscular either. In fact, overall he seemed pretty average. Except he wasn’t. There was a power in him, a strength that I was envious of. As unassuming as he appeared, I could feel the silent command for respect he demanded and the mysterious threat he carried with him.
But how dangerous could a former missionary be? Weren’t they pacifists by design?
And this world did not have room for pacifists.
“My friend Reagan says that all the time,” I told him. “Everything just disintegrated after the infection. It’s like our entire civilization was built with cards. The first big wind to sweep through completely collapsed our entire infrastructure.”
“Sand,” Andy said. “We built this world on sand.”
Nelson must have felt some sense of obligation to this family because he pushed harder. “You’re safer here. Your wife and son are safer here.”
Andy nodded quickly, “Oh, I know we are. We might not always be safe, but right now at least, the dangers of this region will leave us alone. It’s much safer here than battling through wild Zombies and trying to get through the Colony. But I can’t keep us here forever. We have a calling.”
I did a double take and tried to process the word “calling.” But Miller caught something different and said, “The Colony will kill you if they know you helped us. The Colony is not safe.”
The finality in Miller’s tone and the cold way he delivered his message made a chill snake down my spine, despite the warmth beneath my covers. He was changing.
I had been watching it for a while, but I had also been ignoring it. I had been selfish and preoccupied. Miller wasn’t the same kid as before. His mother’s death or maybe his father’s betrayal or hell, maybe Kane’s death or most likely, all of those things, had changed him.
I watched him from across the room and that one chill turned into a fear that spread roots in my gut. What kind of man was he going to become? Did psychopath run in the family?
Or was that a choice he was willingly going to make?
“They’d kill us for helping a pregnant woman? For helping people escape slavery?” Andy didn’t sound exactly skeptical. I could tell he both wanted to trust that humanity was better than that and also knew better.
“They would,” Nelson confirmed. “We’ve made a few enemies along the way. But they would be our biggest.”
“Is that how you found yourselves down here?” he asked with bunched eyebrows. “Is that why you willingly walked into Mexico?”
“Yes,” Nelson agreed. “We had no other choice.”
“I think it’s time we heard your story.” Andy crossed his arms, all traces of good humor disappearing with each passing moment.
Nelson locked eyes with me and we had a silent conversation. He asked me if I trusted these people and I told him we didn’t have a choice. He asked me how deep he should go into our story and I told him to use discretion.
Nelson leaned down and kissed my forehead, letting me know that he would protect me no matter what happened next.
I loved this man. With all of me.
“We should sit down,” Nelson suggested.
Joy walked inside carrying something that smelled delicious. I instantly perked up and gingerly pulled myself into sitting. Nelson propped some pillows behind me so that I was comfortable. I watched the big pot bob in her hands and couldn’t stop myself from groaning.
“What is that?” I leaned toward the smell.
She flashed a smile my way, “Stew. I thought you might like a hot meal after everything you’ve been through.”
Tears pricked my eyes. It had been so very long. My stomach rumbled in response to the smells and I laughed as Miller sudd
enly appeared in the kitchen, hovering close to Joy.
“You can tell us over supper,” Andy suggested. “I think we’d all like to hear where you came from.”
I didn’t think that was true.
Nelson stayed with me on the bed. Joy brought us two bowls of soup made with potatoes, corn, tomatoes and beans. I whimpered when she set it in front of me. These vegetables looked fresh.
Miller joined Joy and Andy and their ten year old son Luke at the table. He was an adorable kid with big dimples around a wide smile and sandy blonde hair. His bright green eyes matched his father’s and held that same intensity that I found so startling. He was polite and well-mannered and I could tell he respected his parents more than anyone else.
Which wasn’t a surprise I supposed, because there weren’t many people left in this world that deserved respect.
But he made me excited to have a son of my own. I wanted that relationship. I wanted him to look up at me as if I hung the stars and had all of the answers in the world.
I also wanted my son to live to be his age and older. I didn’t know how it was possible, but I would do whatever it took to make sure that it happened.
Whatever it took.
Over soup with homemade tortillas, Nelson started in on our story. He shared how we met and Reagan’s idea of going south. He went on to explain our complicated relationship with the Colony and who Tyler and Miller were. He explained Linley’s death and what happened to Kane and then he described the last six months for us.
I watched Andy and Joy’s faces carefully while Nelson talked, expecting judgment or skepticism or something negative. I expected them to be anxious to be rid of us or at the very least to mistrust us. After all, we had caused a lot of havoc between Missouri and here. And yet they only listened intently. If there was an expression on their faces, I would have to call it compassion.
And they never once appeared afraid.
They were not afraid of us and they were not afraid of the Colony.
At the end of Nelson’s retelling, Andy pushed his clay bowl to the center of the table and sat back in his chair. He crossed his arms again and regarded us seriously.
Love and Decay, Volume One Page 24
