“That’s gut.” Maud nodded.
“The best thing is that I can keep my boppli. Things couldn’t have turned out any better.”
“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning,” Maud said.
“Jah, everything looked bad for me and now I’m so happy. Except I’m still scared about the birth.”
“But you’ll have the baby in your arms as soon as it’s all over. And you’ll never have to give it away to anyone.”
“Not ‘it,’ Gretchen, him or her.” Cassandra smiled thinking how she once called the baby "it" and her mother had sorely objected. Now Cassandra was attached to her unborn child in a way she never knew she would be.
* * *
It was two hours later when Reuben arrived back at the house. Maud and Gretchen had made themselves scarce so Reuben and Cassandra could speak alone.
“What did he say?” was the first thing Cassandra asked when Reuben walked in the door.
“How are you feeling?”
“Fine. What did he say?”
He sat on the floor beside the couch and held her hand. “We will be married one week from today.”
“He said we could?”
“Jah, he did. And he wants to hold your baptism before that.”
“Did he give you a hard time or ask you a lot of questions?”
“He did, and of course he wants to speak to you too. I said I’d drive you there in a couple days when you feel better.”
Relief washed over Cassandra. Everything was turning out well. She was even pleased that Gretchen was there in the house.
Chapter 22
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23
* * *
Cassandra and Reuben had been married for a couple of months and living in Maud and Max’s grossdaddi haus when the time came. Cassandra felt her first contraction.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” she said once she’d woken Reuben up.
“You can. You’re a strong woman and you can do anything. Do you want me to go and fetch Maud and Gretchen?”
“Jah please.”
Reuben hurried out of the house. It was only an hour after everyone had gone to bed. Gretchen had stayed on and had taken over the pie making for their roadside stall that Cassandra had begun and hadn’t been able to follow through with. Cassandra was having the baby at a birthing center with the midwife, Jenny, attending her, and Reuben was to be present as well. Maud had decided Cassandra should share this event only with her husband, who had chosen to accept this child as his own.
* * *
Five hours later, Cassandra was at the birth center and Reuben was holding her hand. She felt as if she couldn’t go on. The pains were coming hard and fast. When she was sure she’d have to ask for a C-section, the pains stopped.
“What’s happening now? I just want the baby out!”
Jenny explained, “You’re transitioning. The first stage is over and your boppli will be here soon.”
“Will I have to push?”
After Jenny had examined her, she said, “You’re fully dilated, so you can push whenever you feel the urge.”
“But I don’t.”
Reuben stroked her arm. “Keep calm. She didn’t say you had to do it right away. Just do it when you feel ready to.”
Cassandra nodded and calmed herself by looking into Reuben’s eyes. “Okay, okay.”
Fifteen minutes later, Cassandra felt the first urges to push.
The baby slithered into the world half an hour later. Jenny put the baby directly onto Cassandra’s chest.
She hugged her baby as love surged through her body. It was a feeling she’d never had before. This was her child, and she would do anything to look after and protect this small infant in her arms—anything. To Cassandra’s delight, her baby’s head was covered in dark hair. Now there would be someone else with dark hair in the family besides her and Maud. “Is it a boy?”
“See for yourself,” the midwife said.
It didn’t matter. Boy or girl, love had filled Cassandra’s heart.
Reuben kissed Cassandra’s forehead. Her world was complete. God had turned her life around in a few short months. “Denke,” she said aloud to God.
“Do you want to cut the cord, Reuben?” the midwife said.
“Me?” He looked at Cassandra, who nodded.
Reuben took the scissors and cut the cord where Jenny directed him. “Did you see what our baby is?” he asked Cassandra while the midwife was clamping the baby’s cord.
“A girl?”
“Jah, a girl.”
They’d already picked out names. It was Jasmine now that they knew she was a girl, and if they’d had a boy, they'd planned to call him Michael.
“She’s so beautiful, just like her Mamm.” Reuben kissed Cassandra again. “I should make some phone calls and tell everyone.”
Cassandra couldn’t stop looking at her baby. It was an odd feeling to have a baby that was hers—she was a miracle—every baby was a miracle. She’d done the right thing and written to Jake’s parents about the baby, but they hadn’t written back. Perhaps they hadn’t gotten the letter, or perhaps they didn’t want to know the truth. She’d visit them when she returned to her old community and make certain that the letter hadn’t gone astray. And then, if they didn’t want to know, she wouldn’t push it on them. As far as everyone else was concerned, the baby was hers and Reuben’s.
Reuben took Cassandra and the baby home later that day—back to the grossdaddi haus where they had been living.
Maud and Gretchen rushed in as soon as they got home.
“Where is he?” Maud said, rushing in first and followed close behind by Gretchen.
“It’s a girl!” Cassandra said holding the baby close.
Aunt Maud said, “I know, I know. I’ve been so used to saying ‘he.’ Can I hold her?”
Cassandra passed the small bundle to Aunt Maud. “She’s so sweet. Look at her, Gretchen.”
Gretchen stared at the baby. “There’s never been a sweeter boppli.” Gretchen turned to look at Cassandra, and then sat down beside her. “Was the birth awful?”
“Like they say, you quickly forget it when you’re holding your boppli. Let’s just say I wouldn’t want to go through it again too soon.” Cassandra gave a little laugh.
Reuben walked into the room.
“A letter came for you, Reuben. It’s from Cassandra’s parents.”
Reuben and Cassandra exchanged glances. They’d talked about how upset her parents might have been, not being invited to the wedding and being informed of it only after the event.
“Where’s the letter?” he asked.
“Can you fetch it for him, Gretchen?”
Gretchen left to get the letter from the main house. When Gretchen returned, she handed the unopened letter to Reuben.
He opened it and read it. Cassandra watched as tears formed in his eyes.
That was it! If they wouldn’t accept him, then she could not return home. Reuben was her family now, along with their baby.
“What does it say?” Cassandra asked.
“They said they’re delighted about the marriage. They’d like us to come home—well, you to come home with me—and your vadder would like me to work with him on the farm. They said we could live with them until we find a place of our own. Or we can live in their grossdaddi haus if we want.” Reuben sniffed.
Cassandra knew it was because he’d never had family, and the idea of working side by side with her father meant a lot to him. Reuben turned away and Cassandra blinked back tears of her own.
“Would you like to hold her now, Gretchen?”
“I certainly would.” Gretchen stood and Maud handed the baby over to her.
“Are you going back home, Cassandra?” Gretchen asked.
“I think so. What about you, G
retchen? Will you be able to leave the pies?”
Gretchen glanced over at Maud and smiled. “I think I’d like to stay a little longer. Is that all right with you, Aunt Maud?”
“I’d like nothing better. And we’ve grown quite a thriving demand for our pies.”
Cassandra giggled. It had been her idea to make the pies and now Gretchen and her aunt were consumed daily in making their pies—and loving it.
Chapter 23
The Lord is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love,
forgiving iniquity and transgression,
but he will by no means clear the guilty,
visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children,
to the third and the fourth generation
Numbers 14:18
* * *
When their baby was old enough to travel, Cassandra and Reuben made their way back to Lancaster County. So much had happened in the few short months after her return from rumspringa. She’d gotten baptized, gotten married, and had a baby. And she’d learned how to get along with Gretchen. Gretchen had stayed on with Aunt Maud and Uncle Max.
The last leg of their journey was by taxi. Cassandra couldn’t stop smiling when her old white house with the red roof came into view.
She was a different person from the girl who’d gone there months ago to deliver some dreadful news to her parents. God had healed her heart and given her the gifts of a child and a husband.
When the car stopped, Reuben paid the driver, who then lifted their luggage out of the trunk while Reuben helped Cassandra and their baby from the car.
Cassandra’s parents came outside the house to greet them.
“Mamm, this is Reuben.”
Her parents smiled and shook Reuben’s hand, introducing themselves before they turned their attention to Jasmine.
Cassandra’s mother lifted the baby out of her hands and hugged her to herself. “She’s just like you as a boppli, Cassandra. Your hair was as dark as this.”
“I know, and Aunt Maud has dark hair—or did have once. I took after Aunt Maud. I’ll miss her.”
“Looks like we’re going to have some more dark-haired grosskin, then,” her mother said.
“Give them a chance to settle in first.” Mr. Yoder laughed at his wife and then put his hand on Reuben’s shoulder. “Let’s get this luggage inside. And then, we’ve got a lot to talk about.”
While Reuben and Cassandra’s father took the luggage up the stairs, the women went into the kitchen. Cassandra sat at the table.
“You’ve done well,” her mother said to her.
“Denke, Mamm. Gott turned my life around.”
Cassandra’s mother chuckled. “It took you a while to get there, but now you’ve arrived. You know that nothing will turn out right until you put Him first.”
As much as Cassandra wasn’t used to agreeing with her mother, she knew that she was right.
“I’m so glad everything turned out well and I met Reuben. I didn’t have to give my boppli away. I can raise her myself. It’s a blessing.”
“You’ll be a blessing to Jasmine.”
“Do you mean that, Mamm?”
“Of course, I do. Your vadder has been so excited to have a son-in-law who’s agreed to work the farm with him. Do you know what that’s like for him to have a man living here under this roof after so many girls?”
Cassandra shook her head. “Nee, I don’t. I suppose it’ll make things easier for Dat and he’ll have someone to talk to besides you.”
“He’s so happy since he got that letter back from Reuben saying he’d work here.”
“We might not live here for too long. We’ll get our own place, but we won’t go far away.”
“You can always stay in the grossdaddi haus if you need some more space before you move.”
Cassandra smiled. She wanted to be close to her parents in the house, but she didn’t want to let them know that. She’d always been so prickly toward them that she didn’t want to shock them too much by how she’d changed.
“When will she wake?” her mother asked, staring down at Jasmine.
“Soon. She’s due for a feeding, so she’ll wake soon.”
Her mother sat down at the kitchen table next to her.
“Mamm, I will go and visit Jake’s parents soon. I sent them a letter, but they didn’t answer.”
“You told them about the boppli?”
“It was best. I felt that was the right thing to do. I thought maybe they didn’t get the letter.”
“Maybe.”
“Will you take me there tomorrow? I know Reuben’s keen to start work with Dat.”
“I will. It just makes things awkward. If they didn’t know, then everyone could think she’s Reuben’s.”
“She is, she’s his too.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I’m sorry, Mamm. I didn’t want to hurt you or Dat. I never thought things through.”
“I know. When you’re young, it’s not so easy to think of consequences. These things take time and sometimes we have to learn from our mistakes.”
Cassandra nodded.
Reuben came into the kitchen with Mr. Yoder.
When Mr. Yoder looked over his wife’s shoulder at the baby, Reuben whispered to Cassandra, “We’re all going to get along fine.”
Cassandra looked up at Reuben’s smiling face, thankful that her parents had welcomed him with open arms.
* * *
The next day, Mrs. Yoder drove Cassandra to Jake’s parents’ house, and stayed in the buggy with Jasmine while Cassandra knocked on their door.
Jake’s mother opened the door and didn’t look pleased to see her. “Hello, Cassandra.”
“Hello, can I come in?”
She wedged herself in the doorway. “Are you back for good?”
“I’m here with my husband and we plan to stay. Did you get my letter about the boppli?”
“What do you want, Cassandra? Isn’t it enough that you made Jake go with you on rumspringa? He told us he didn’t want to go, but he went because he thought he’d lose you.”
“Jah, and then he came back. The baby is your grosskin.”
“My husband and I would prefer if you kept that to yourself.”
Cassandra frowned. “You can’t mean that.”
“Don’t put shame on my son’s name by naming him as the vadder.”
“It’s not about shame, it’s about your grosskin.”
She shook her head. “Leave my son out of this please, Cassandra. Just go and live your life with your husband and child. And please, leave Jake out of it.”
“You don’t want anyone to know?”
She shook her head again and closed the door without saying goodbye. It was a strange response, but maybe they were still grieving over Jake. She got back into the buggy and told her mother what had happened.
Her mother picked up the reins and clicked the horse onward. “It’s less complicated this way. No one wants to talk about things that bring shame.”
Cassandra sighed. She’d just been trying to do the right thing. She looked down at Jasmine. “This little girl has plenty of people who love her.”
“She certainly does.”
On the way back to the house, Cassandra saw her husband in the fields working alongside her father. “Look, Mamm.” She pointed at the two of them.
Her mother stopped the buggy and together they watched the two men.
“Your vadder finally has a son. That’s what he always wanted.”
Cassandra laughed. “Aw, Mamm, Dat’s got many sons-in-law.”
“They all have their own farms to work, or their own jobs. Reuben was the only one who took up your vadder’s offer to work the farm. I’ve never seen him happier.”
“They do look happy together. Reuben’s always wanted a familye and now he has a large one. He’ll be overwhelmed when he meets all of them.” As Cassandra stared at her father and Reuben, she finally felt at peace with her parents and her family. She�
�d found where she was meant to be and whom she was meant to be with. Reuben had changed not only her life but her parents’ lives. In turn, Reuben had been blessed with a wife, a baby and a large extended family. At that moment, Cassandra thanked God that he’d turned her life around and had made everything right.
* * *
Therefore I say unto you,
What things soever ye desire,
when ye pray, believe that ye receive them,
and ye shall have them.
Mark 11:24
Thank you for reading Amish Widow’s Secret.
I do hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
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Blessings,
Samantha Price
The next in the series is
The Middle-Aged Amish Widow
The day expectant Amish widow, Sarah Hersler, buried her husband, her estranged mother landed on her doorstep announcing she was there to be taken care of in her old age. With no energy to argue, Sarah agreed to travel to Ohio to sell her mother's house. When she finds the house needs repairs, she meets the builder, a widower.
EXPECTANT AMISH WIDOWS
Book 1 Amish Widow's Hope
Book 2 The Pregnant Amish Widow
Book 3 Amish Widow's Faith
Book 4 Their Son's Amish Baby
Book 5 Amish Widow's Proposal
Book 6 The Pregnant Amish Nanny
Book 7 A Pregnant Widow's Amish Vacation
Book 8 The Amish Firefighter's Widow
Book 9 Amish Widow's Secret
Book 10 The Middle-Aged Amish Widow
Book 11 Amish Widow's Escape
Book 12 Amish Widow's Christmas
Book 13 Amish Widow’s New Hope
Amish Widow's Secret Page 10
