“Drive me home?” she whispered.
“Of course.” While I didn’t want to say good-bye to her, she’d had a long day, most of it on her feet, and she probably needed to rest. “Let’s go.”
As I turned onto Legend’s Lane, every house glowed with the soft illumination of a porch light, signs of life. Some flew flags or displayed the occasional yard gnome. Others ran sprinklers or sat on their front porches, waving at us as we drove past. The Carrington house stood dark as always, the lawn neatly trimmed but devoid of any other evidence that people actually inhabited the large house. I didn’t want to send Courtney in there to be alone yet again. I turned off the car and sat back, prepared to draw out this good-bye as long as possible.
“Why don’t you come inside with me?” she asked.
Well, that was new. “But your dad—”
“Is in New York.”
Understanding settled. I was, then and there, awash with butterflies inspired by excitement about what I thought she was insinuating, and terror…about what I thought she was insinuating. Didn’t matter. “I would love to.”
I followed Courtney to her door. With a quiet click, her key granted us access to the house. She turned on a lamp in the two-story entryway, and when the warm glow hit her face, a shiver moved through me. I could literally feel her gaze move down my body and answering any lingering question about what she had in mind.
She wanted me.
The quiet in the room amplified the tension.
My lack of experience now screamed at me. Gone was the nineteen-year-old version of myself and here stood the immature twelve-year-old one. “Want to make pancakes together?” I asked like an idiot.
She shook her head and the side of her mouth tugged upward. “Nope.”
“Take in a marathon of all five Beatles flicks?” The nerves skipped just beneath my skin.
Her smile grew. “No.”
“Are you going to draw me like one of your French girls, Jack?”
She full-on laughed at that one.
Yep. My self-edit button had taken a vacay as my brain struggled to cope with what I knew Courtney was proposing.
“Maybe at some point.” She didn’t say anything else. She didn’t have to. Courtney walked toward me, biting down on her lower lip and looking very much like my fantasy come to life. Up until this point, we’d only kissed and maybe made it halfway to second base, but there was so much more I wanted to do, had imagined doing for well over two years now.
Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think.
She kissed me once and met my gaze. I nodded, answering the question she didn’t actually voice. The longing that had been pent up inside me for so long now came rushing to the surface in an overwhelming wave. My lips were on hers again and moving insistently. My hands slid around her waist, up her back, and then down again. I walked her backward as we kissed, bumping into furniture and walls and who the hell knew what else in a house I was unfamiliar with. Courtney took the reins and grasped my hand, leading me through the living room to a bedroom tucked away at the back of the house. Hers, I decided distantly as I waited to kiss her again. She walked to the far side of the room, turned on a lamp, and dropped a scarf over it, dimming its effect a great deal. Next, with a turn of her wrist, what could best be described as modern-day-angst-ridden music filled the room. I couldn’t have named the artist, but I’m guessing she could. She was a pro at this, I realized. She had all the right moves.
Don’t think. Don’t think.
Courtney turned back to me and undid the top button of her shirt. Then the second. The third. And then the final button. The confident look in her eyes alone had me undone, and I watched, captivated, frozen to my spot as she slid the shirt off her shoulders. She unclasped her bra and let it fall to the floor. The sight of Courtney topless in front of me was something I’d never get over.
“You’re beautiful,” I said quietly and went to her. I reached out slowly and traced the outside of her breasts in awe, lifting them, pushing my hands against them as she closed her eyes against my touch. This was heaven on Earth. I let my hands explore, moving slowly, tentatively against her skin. When she opened her eyes again, they blazed with desire.
Courtney dipped her head and paused, just before her lips touched mine. She was so close that I could feel the energy crisscrossing between us. The only sound was Courtney breathing; I had completely stopped. Finally, she crushed her mouth to mine and kissed me thoroughly, urgently. She slipped her hands under my T-shirt and caressed the skin at my waist, causing it to pebble and shiver in the most evocative way. She lifted the shirt over my head and immediately leaned down, kissing just above my bra, the space between my breasts, and up the column of my neck. My knees felt weak and I thought I just might combust before my clothes were even off.
Don’t think.
Her eyes found mine, and she smiled, though her breathing was shallow and quick. “Lie down,” she said gently. That’s when I noticed it: she was nervous, too. I did as she asked, and she followed me down. I reached for her and blazed a path from her shoulders to her stomach, obsessed with the way she felt beneath my fingertips—her curves as they filled my palms, the softness of her skin.
“Have you done this with a girl?” I whispered.
She shook her head. Her only other answer was to kiss me. I slid my hands into her hair and gripped as our mouths danced. Her lips trailed down my jaw to my neck, her hands moving over every inch of me, making my toes point. She adeptly worked the front clasp of my bra and sighed reverently. “Oh, wow,” she said, dropping her head to my breast and pulling my nipple into her mouth. I gasped. Her tongue ran across it and I bucked beneath her, feeling it harden instantly. “Oh my God,” she said again, voicing my own wordless wonder. “Your body is amazing, Maggie. I knew it would be.” She returned to my breast and sucked torturously on one nipple and then the other as I squirmed beneath her, wondering how I’d gone this long without Courtney touching me this way. When she was ready, she pushed my jeans-clad legs apart and settled her hips between them. When she pushed her hips against me, I saw white, moaning at the little shock waves that sparked through me and the need that she had yet to satisfy. She ground into me again.
“Fuck,” I said breathlessly, tossing my head back. I rarely swore, but this moment warranted it. The sensations were too much. Way too much. Reading my signals, Courtney unbuttoned my jeans and slid them down my legs. Lying there in nothing but my underwear, I watched raptly as she stepped out of her shorts, sliding her bikinis off with them. The song shifted to some sort of loud and aggressive rock song as the most beautiful girl in the world eased her body on top of mine. How did I get here? We started to move. Soulfully. Purposefully. Urgently. I was no longer in control of myself when Courtney slipped her hand between us and into my underwear. I was wet, I could tell, and strained against her hand desperately searching, silently begging. She didn’t delay and pushed her fingers inside me, the feel of it burned into my memory for all eternity. I cried out at the new sensation and clung to her shoulders. I moved my hips against her hand, but it didn’t take much before the fireworks hit and I came fast in a blurry and powerful tumble. I lay there, becoming intricately familiar with the patterns of the light across the ceiling as I attempted to come down from the high. Courtney lay alongside me, that much I knew. With just her fingertips, she traced little circles across my stomach and breasts.
“Hey. You okay?” she asked quietly.
I nodded and turned my head to her. “Yeah. I’m good.”
“I can’t believe I finally got to do that. Do you know how long I’ve wanted to?”
I shook my head and met her eyes, still not quite verbal. I knew one thing, however. I wanted Courtney and I wanted her now. I slipped my hand between her legs and watched her eyes widen, then close, melting into my touch. I slid on top and watched her face as I explored, memorizing each gasp, each murmur of pleasure and what had inspired it. I hovered somewhere close to heaven, and though I never
wanted to stop, her breathing had turned ragged and her eyes searched mine helplessly. When I entered her, the air left my lungs. I’d never felt closer or more connected to another human in my life. She arched her back and moaned. Suddenly, it wasn’t enough for me. I crawled down and touched her softly with my tongue. Daring to explore further, I did it again and again, loving the sounds it pulled from her, lost in the taste of her. With a final flick of my tongue, Courtney went still and clenched tightly around my fingers, crying out and clutching the sheets. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Blond hair tossed against bare shoulders, her back arched, and her face awash with pleasure. Beautiful was the only word I had.
“Was that okay?” I asked as I moved up the bed.
She blinked at me and cradled my cheek with her hand. “I’ve never felt that before. At least, not from another person. No one’s ever made me do that.”
I understood her meaning and felt a rather pleasant blush beginning. “Beginner’s luck,” I murmured and kissed her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around my neck and we lay there, tangled up, staring at each other, lost in a world I never wanted to leave.
“You are so not a virgin anymore,” she said. “How does that feel?”
“I feel like I’m a million miles away from who I was an hour ago.”
Courtney smiled. “Me too.”
I met her gaze. “But I wouldn’t go back for anything. Courtney, this was…indescribable. So many things at once. I feel like I’m overflowing.”
She pulled me closer. “And it was only the first time.” Her words enveloped me in a promise that there was so much more to come. There would be more.
Courtney closed her eyes, and as the music played, I watched her drift peacefully to sleep. It was well after midnight, and I would have to leave her soon and creep home. I still lived with my parents, a detail I was now rethinking, and as such needed to respect reasonable hours.
For now, I enjoyed the serenity of the moment and basked in this new level of our relationship. Being with her like this felt so good that it almost hurt.
I was falling in love with Courtney, and each day, those feelings only grew. I didn’t know if it was the same for her. The uncertainty felt like a free fall without a net.
All the same, Courtney was a risk I was ready to assume.
Chapter Nine
The next morning as I blinked against the welcome sunlight, memories of the night before floated back to me languidly. I’d had sex last night. With Courtney. I was a person who had sex now. Would other people be able to tell? How could they not? Should I strut? Pay dues to a new sexually active club? Hell, I’d volunteer to be treasurer. A smile touched my lips and I snuggled into my pillow feeling rather excited about life.
Bang, bang, bang.
Someone was at the front door, I realized distantly, getting back to my rather entertaining daydreams. There were surely other people around who could get that. I turned onto my back and gazed through the window at the sky above, my arm up over my head like a silly little dreamer. I could own that.
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. And now two rings of the doorbell.
Okay, maybe no one would be answering the door after all. Triple sigh of despair. I tossed the covers off and padded my way downstairs. As I swung open the large wooden door, I was mystified to find Berta staring back at me. Her eyes were red rimmed and her cheeks tearstained. She looked like she hadn’t been to bed.
“What’s going on?” I asked as she whizzed past me into the house.
“I have to tell someone.” I followed her into the living room, where she plopped herself down hard on the couch. My mind was still a little sleep drunk, so I took a second to catch up. Berta was clearly upset about something. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
I ran my hand through my hair. “Okay. Slow down. What’s going on?”
“If I say it, it’s going to be real. If I don’t, the weight of this is going to kill me.”
I took a seat next to her on the couch. “You’re starting to scare me.”
“It was one night.” Berta said tearfully. “And it was fun, but it was one night. I just didn’t…and he…but now this…and then I’ll probably…”
“I’m gonna need a verb.” I put a hand on Berta’s shoulder to calm her.
“Pregnant. It’s an adjective, but it’s the truth. Margaret, that’s what I’m trying to say. I’m pregnant.”
No. Surely I had heard that wrong. “How is that possible?” I asked. She threw me a look. “I mean I know how it’s possible, but who? When? I don’t under…” But the words died on my lips because I knew. “Oh my God. Louis. I knew you were spending more time together, but I didn’t realize it had gotten to…this point.”
Berta jerked her face back. “What? No. God. I didn’t have sex with Louis.”
“You didn’t? Then how did—”
“Travis.”
The word hovered in the air for a long moment as I worked to assemble the pieces. No go. I needed help. Could I phone a friend? “Travis,” I repeated.
“Yes.” I gestured for further explanation. “Okay. I’ve always had a thing for Travis but never said so because, I mean, how cliché, right?”
“Right. Because Travis.”
“But it’s there all the same. I’m human.” She stood up and began to pace random patterns throughout the room as she explained. “He’s actually always been very nice to me. That’s the thing. Smiled and held doors and walked me places when we ran into each other, especially lately. We struck up a friendship, I guess is the best way to describe it, outside of the friendship we all have.”
“A secret friendship,” I said.
“Yes, much like that,” she said and pointed at me. “You’ve been so busy with Courtney.”
“Still, you could have said something, dropped a clue at least.”
She wasn’t listening but seemed to have drifted off on a wonderful daydream. “And then there’s the fact that he has those arms. And that hair. Chestnut and wavy with little blond flecks.” He did have nice hair. “It was like I was in the middle of an Abercrombie ad, only the model was also a really great person.”
I smiled because that was a really sweet characterization of Travis. “So when did this happen?” I asked.
“A few weeks ago. We had a picnic in the park one night. Just the two of us. We sat together and had a really nice time. We laughed, and ate, and then this.” She gestured sorrowfully to her stomach. The weight of the situation settled over me. My heart broke for her, for what she was going through, and what she now had to face.
“Oh, Berta.” I moved to her and pulled her into a tight hug, which didn’t seem to help as she was now crying fully in my arms. “It’s going to be okay. I promise. You’re going to be okay. This is not the end of the world.” Her only answer was a sob, so I held her. “Have you thought about what you’re going to do?”
She pulled back. “I’m having it,” she said automatically. “That’s not even a question for me. Look, this is not what I planned on, but I can’t not have it.”
I nodded, understanding fully. “But college?”
“Not gonna happen. At least not now. I’ll have to notify UC Santa Barbara and see if I can take some sort of break. My parents are going to die.”
“They’re not,” I told her. My aunt and uncle would be floored, she was right. But at the end of the day, they were reasonable humans and they would be there for her. “Once they get past the shock, they’ll help you. I know they will. What about Travis? Does he know?”
She shook her head. “You’re the first person I’ve told. Margaret, I don’t know how I’m supposed to say this to him. I’m sure he’s regretted that night since it happened. Ever since, he’s said the weirdest things to me. Like he hasn’t been himself.”
A memory struck. “As in, goofy things?”
“Yeah, like he became a space cadet overnight. He comments on things like the weather and the price of gas. Things he doesn’t even care about. He tell
s jokes where the punch lines don’t even match up, and it’s because I make him uncomfortable and he regrets everything.”
Wait a minute. Now I was the one up and pacing randomly, because Betsy Ross sewing a flag! Travis hadn’t been talking about Courtney several weeks back. He’d been referencing Berta! “He has feelings for you,” I blurted rather loudly. “Legitimate ones.”
She held up a hand. “No. He doesn’t. Trust me.”
I walked to her with purpose. “He told me, Bert. He didn’t use your name, but it all matches up. You make him nervous because he’s into you and doesn’t know how to handle himself. It’s classic. It’s just not classic Travis, which explains the weird.”
“Are you sure?”
I nodded. “Tell him. He’s a good guy. A meathead, one hundred percent. But a good guy all the same, and he will be there for you.”
A hint of a smile touched her lips, died, and sprouted again. It was the first sign of hope that I’d seen since she’d arrived that morning. “Okay, I will. Today, do you think?”
“I do.” I squeezed her hand. “Do you want me to go with you?”
“No. I think this is something I have to do on my own.” Hesitation crossed her features, and I could sense how nervous she was at the prospect. While I rooted for her wholeheartedly, I also regretted the complications this news brought with it. Berta’s future plans would now be scrapped, demolished. A new baby should be something people celebrated, and maybe they would down the line. I decided to do everything in my power to make this part of the journey easier for Berta. I would be happy for this baby. I would give her that celebration.
“You’re going to be okay,” I said again. “And I’m here for you every step of the way. You know that, right? And when this is all said and done, there will be a tiny little baby for me to hold and love and be his or her favorite aunt.”
She launched herself into my arms and held tight. “Thank you, Maggie. Thank you. I almost didn’t come over here. I’m so glad I did.”
Strawberry Summer Page 12
