“I just thought you should know that people know about it,” she said ultra quietly.
“And I’m totally cool with that,” I whispered back.
The concerned look on her face was wiped clean with that answer. A perplexed one took its spot. “You don’t care that people…know?”
I shook my head. “Look, Melanie. I’m not trying to hurt anyone. I’ve not done anything wrong, so that’s correct. I have no problem with people knowing about me and Courtney.”
That seemed to bowl her over. She ruminated on the information for a moment before moving on. “How have people treated you?”
“Because I’m in a relationship? Well, I would say the long line of people waiting to date me has quelled.” I was making ridiculous jokes because her questions had me on edge. They were strange. Was she about to invite me to church to save my soul? Was that what was happening here?
“No. Not because you’re in a relationship. Because you’re…”
“Gay?” I finished for her. She didn’t seem able to on her own.
“Right. That. And I’m wondering if I might be.”
Whoa.
Halt the presses. Did Melanie just say what I think Melanie just said? I decided I needed to be sure. “You think you might be in a relationship?”
She shook her head and her gaze dropped like lead to her hands, folded in her lap. My heart tugged at the gesture, because it was clear that Melanie was really struggling here.
My voice was quieter this time. Gentler. “You’re wondering if you might be gay?”
Finally, after a long silence, she met my eyes and nodded. “I’m starting to think I am. No. I know I am.” Well, color me shocked. I was no longer the only lesbian under the age of twenty-five in Tanner Peak.
*
“I don’t think I believe her,” Courtney said over lunch at the café the next day. “Melanie.”
I held up a hand. “I hear you, but I’ve been thinking on it. Pass the ketchup?”
“Well, I’ll need three fries as payment.” Courtney held the bottle like she was protecting an important hostage. I handed her the fries. Courtney grinned and I grinned, because that’s how we worked. I loved us. “Proceed. You were saying?”
I looked sideways at her. “Before I was extorted for food?”
“Before that.”
I shook my head to clear it because she looked hot today in her cutoffs and Beatles T-shirt, also stolen. “Okay, so Melanie.”
“Right.”
“She’s always been a little too Regina George for my taste, you know? Mean. And maybe that’s because she was dealing with some internal stuff of her own.”
“Meaning, she took out her unhappiness on others?”
“Right. Exactly. It’s hard to be nice when you’re miserable and hating yourself.”
Her bottom lip came out. “Well, that makes me sad.”
“Me too.”
“Is there someone in particular she’s interested in? Because if it’s you, I might have to go to war.”
I grinned at her proclamation. “I don’t think that will be necessary. There was a woman who came into the hair salon who captivated her in a manner she’d never really experienced. She’s thought about her ever since. She coupled that wake-up call with her lackluster interest in guys her whole life and bam, there she was next to me at Bag of Beans, her terrified heart in her hands.”
“Well, good for her.” Courtney’s phone buzzed and she glanced at the readout and smiled. As she began to type, I hated myself, but I had to ask.
“What’s so funny over there?”
She flashed the phone at me briefly. “Nathan. Everyone’s left Chicago and he’s bored out of his mind.” Nathan was a name I’d heard more than a handful of times. He ran in the same crowd Courtney did back at school.
“Let me just finish this answer so he doesn’t think I’m ignoring him, and then I’m all yours.”
“Cool.”
I ate in silence while Courtney texted back and forth a few extra times with Nathan, who I came to find out was a senator’s son. Fancy. I didn’t want to be that person, so I pushed any feelings of unease aside. These were her friends. It just so happened they were from a world I wasn’t a part of. That is, unless I wanted to be. I hadn’t discarded Courtney’s invitation to Chicago. In fact, I’d thought on it religiously since she’d mentioned it the week prior.
The offer was there for the taking. But did I have the courage?
Courtney stayed over that night. We’d made out for what felt like hours before ravishing each other appropriately. Lying there, happy and spent, I ran my fingers through her hair slowly, lifting one strand and letting it fall, something I’d learned she loved.
“Okay,” I said into the darkness.
She looked up at the sound of my voice and kissed the underside of my jaw. “What is okay?” Her late-night voice was quiet and raspy. I loved it.
“Okay, I’ll come to Chicago.”
She went still in my arms before popping up on her forearms. “You’re serious?” She straddled me and placed her hands on my shoulders, grinning down at me like it was Christmas morning.
“It’s going to take a lot of work and planning, but I figure if I start now, I can have at least the important details ironed out in the next couple of weeks.” Her answer was to kiss me into next month, which meant that she was pleased. I laughed when we came up for air.
“I can’t believe that this is happening,” she said, smacking both of my shoulders. “We’re going to need a plane ticket for you, and your transcripts from Santa Barbara. Oh, and we need to shop!”
I was still laughing, my heart stolen by how excited she was. “Shop?”
“For stuff you like. It can’t just look like my place that you’ve moved into. It should look like ours.” I was touched by the sentiment.
“Well, we’ll need a Beatles shrine. Preferably in the living room.” My hands went to her breasts as she lowered herself on top of me.
“Keep talking.”
“And probably an Abraham Lincoln alarm clock.”
“This is sounding more and more dubious. What does this alarm clock do?” she asked, placing an open-mouthed kiss on my neck.
“He wakes you up with the Gettysburg Address, Courtney.” I felt her smile against my skin and she moved lower, kissing my breasts. My eyes fluttered closed. “We’ll also need strawberry everything.”
Her teeth skated my nipple and I hissed in a breath. “Oh no. Like?”
“Plates, cups, calendars, and of course, the patterns on any and all furniture. Guests will eat it up. Get it?”
She lifted her head. “I do.”
“Well, you want me to feel at home, don’t you?”
“That is the goal,” she said pushing my legs apart. The decorating session had to be put on hold as other glorious things took priority. But once the words were out of my mouth, I was 100 percent on board to make what would be a very scary leap in the trajectory of my otherwise safe life.
Love, I was finding, was more than worth it.
My heart had never before been so close to bursting, and I couldn’t wait to begin what would be a new and exciting chapter in my life. That night, each touch felt different than ever before, as each caress now came with a promise. We would take on the world together. Courtney had chosen me and I had chosen her right back. It wasn’t sex that time, it was an expression of love. I grew up that night, embracing adulthood fully for the very first time—scary, daunting, exhilarating, and wonderful. I looked forward to all that lay ahead.
Chapter Thirteen
“It feels a little too sudden for my liking,” my father said, as he sliced up a carrot for the salad my mother tossed next to him. I would miss their tandem dinner preparation.
“Why does it have to be this semester?” my mother asked. “We’re not opposed to you moving if that’s what you truly want. In fact, we’ll even help, but what’s the rush?”
It had taken me a few days to work
up the nerve to explain my new plan to my parents. “I wholeheartedly understand your concern,” I recited from the prepared list of answers in my head. “It probably could wait, you’re right. But if I’m able to work it out now, why not take the leap and go back when Courtney does?”
“When would we see you?” my mother said sorrowfully, shifting into maternal mode. “You’ve never been away from home for more than a week, and now you’re setting off across the country? I don’t know how I’m going to do with all this.”
“I’ll be okay, Mom. I promise. I’ll call you every week, every day if it would make you feel better. How else am I going to keep up with all the Tanner Peak gossip?”
She abandoned the salad and cupped my chin in her hands. “This terrifies me, you realize this?”
“I do.”
“And I love you more than peanut butter and chocolate, do you realize that?”
I laughed at the humongous declaration. “That, too.”
Another sigh from her, as my dad looked on. “We like Courtney, but why can’t she move here? We can have Pictionary Thursdays.”
The question was valid and I did my best to explain, following her back to the salad. “Because Carrington’s corporate offices are in Chicago, and if she wants to learn the business, that’s where she needs to be. At least for now.”
My father stepped in, the lines noticeable across his forehead. This was his worried face. “I would be less than truthful and not doing my job as your pop if I didn’t tell you that her last name concerns me. I know that’s not something that you want to hear, but it’s the truth.”
“It’s not fair to punish Courtney for that.” I looked from him to my mother. “Please. You guys have been so wonderful to her. Don’t judge her for something entirely outside of her control. As for her father, she feels about him much the way you do.”
“Well, that makes me very sad for her,” my mother said.
He sighed. She sighed. Suddenly the room felt heavy.
My parents exchanged a long look. They always amazed me with their flawless system of nonverbal communication. I’d been trying to decode it for years. With a nod from my mother, my father turned to me. “We’ll support you if this is what you really want, but know that you’ll always have a home here if it doesn’t work out. Call us and we’ll come get you.”
I hugged him hard and then my mother harder. This was the last major stop in regard to the move, and I had trouble holding back my smile. The idea of life in the big city had my imagination in overdrive. I loved Tanner Peak, but I was beginning to imagine myself closing real estate deals in Chicago, going to restaurants, theatre, and art galleries. Of course I’d come home as often as possible. Holidays, special occasions, all of them. How could I not?
This would always be my home.
Courtney had spent the day at Carrington’s, acquainting herself with a new floor plan as rolled out by corporate, designed to help the stores flow better, a concept I found rather intriguing, because I thought it flowed fine. We had plans to head to Lonesome’s for a drink, so I swung by her house to pick her up, excited to share the news. I dodged the next door neighbor’s rotating sprinkler and climbed the steps with extra energy but paused at the partially opened front door. Interesting. I glanced around the property for signs of life and decided that Courtney must have forgotten to close it on her way inside. As I raised my fist to knock, the sounds of angry voices drifted out onto the porch.
I froze.
“Have it your way,” her father’s snide voice echoed, “and see how empty that bank account of yours starts looking. All over a farm girl, and the dime-a-dozen type. I should know.”
“Don’t say that,” Courtney shot back. She sounded like she’d been crying. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, first of all. And second of all, this isn’t your decision.” I pushed the door open a little farther, battling guilt for eavesdropping and the need to protect Courtney at the same time. “I don’t need your money. I’ll do it on my own if I have to. I have a job.”
“Best of luck, little girl. Last I looked, interns made close to minimum wage.” He was right. Courtney didn’t make a ton for the work she did at Carrington’s. “What a disgrace you turned out to be. Have fun with your whore.”
The air fled my lungs at the word. I felt like I’d been sucker-punched and tried to imagine a universe in which either of my parents spoke to me that way. I jumped at the sound of a door slamming, then heard footsteps on the stairs. I stepped back and there she was. Tearstained cheeks, red-rimmed eyes, and a shocked expression to find me standing there.
“Are you okay?” I asked immediately, taking Courtney’s hand and leading her down the walk.
“Did you just…” She gestured behind her, embarrassment coloring her cheeks.
“Hear? Yeah, I caught the gist.”
The tears were back in her eyes. She looked horrified. “Maggie, I’m so sorry. What he said—he’s angry.”
I met her gaze. “Wanna get outta here?”
“Please.”
I took her hand and we hopped in the car. She was silent on the drive to the bar, lost in a world of her own as she studied the passing scenery.
Once I parked the car, I turned to her. “Do you want to talk about it?”
She met my eyes. “No.”
I cringed internally because she’d rebuilt the wall around herself. It was what she did when she felt exposed. “Don’t shut me out.”
She rested her cheek against the seat resolutely. “He’s cutting me off if I move in with you. He says a summer fling was one thing, but real life is another.”
I nodded. “A farm kid from a loser family.”
She sat up fully. “You and I both know that’s not true. Don’t listen to him. He knows he’s not in control, and it kills him.”
“I care a lot less about what he thinks and more of what you do.”
“What I think is that we’re going to be in Chicago in two weeks and all of this will be behind us.” Somehow I had my doubts. “I also think we could both use a drink.” I followed Courtney into the dimly lit bar, a little nervous about the fact that I was not legally allowed to be there. I nodded obligatorily at an old mascot head on the wall. I always thought the Tanner Peak Beavers to be an unfortunate choice. Courtney ordered a sophisticated-sounding martini and I the generically titled “white wine, please.”
We settled into a table to the right of the bar and I did my best to tolerate the noise from the rowdy group of Clay and his friends, crowded around the dartboard. We shared a wave and Clay went back to his game.
“So what did your parents say when you told them?” Courtney asked. She’d sent me a “good luck” text earlier in the day.
“They voiced concern, but they support my decision.”
She relaxed back into her chair. “Finally, some good news! We should mark this moment.” She raised her martini and I joined her in a toast. “To my awesome girlfriend and her powers of persuasion.”
I grinned, really enjoying that word, “girlfriend.” “I love you,” I mouthed. She mouthed it back, which was even better than the girlfriend thing.
“I’ll get a second job if I have to, and I’m sure my mother will help supplement me. She gets a big fat check from him every month.”
I nodded. “We’ll make it work.”
“I want you to know how seriously I take this.”
I smiled, enjoying the take-charge attitude she now brandished. It looked good on her, and I saw how it would translate to the corporate world, and that gave me a little shiver.
“You guys doing anything fun tonight?” I turned at the sound of the slightly slurred sentence.
“Hey, Louis,” I said, smiling up at my disheveled friend. “How are you?”
The question was all he needed. Louis plopped into the chair next to Courtney and set his drink down with an equally jarring thud, causing it to slosh onto the table. His short red hair stuck out in several directions. “I’m bored as fuck.”
“And drunk,” Courtney said quietly to me. I nodded.
“You guys wanna…you guys wanna…you wanna go somewhere?”
“I don’t think so,” I told him. “You doing okay, Lou? I’m worried about you.”
He raised his gaze, abandoning his intense study of the swirling pattern in the knotted wood of the table. “I’ve had better moments, but you gotta take ’em as they come. Life has never been, you know, easy.”
“What’s been the problem?” Courtney asked delicately. “Can we help? We’re your friends.”
“We’re worried about you.”
He stared at me, as if translating what I said before responding. “Nothing ever works out for me. S’all.” I’d watched him spiral over the course of the year, and my concern was that he hadn’t seemed to rebound. At all. It had started with Berta marrying Travis, but alcohol was definitely accelerating the situation, like gasoline on an already burning fire. I hated what was happening to him.
“Everything okay over here?” Clay asked.
“My boss,” Louis said, and pointed sadly at Clay. “That guy doesn’t like me, like, at all.”
“I like you fine, buddy,” Clay said, patting his shoulder. “You need a ride home?”
“We can take him,” Courtney said, and looked to me. “Right?”
“Yeah, we got it, Clay.” By the time we settled up, Louis’s eyes drooped. Keeping him awake on the ride home was a losing battle. Courtney sat in the backseat with him and kept him company, which seemed to cheer the guy up a bit. He seemed lonely. We made it to the apartment I knew he rented. I got his front door open via the keys he’d surrendered, then Courtney walked him in.
“There you go, Louis,” she said, depositing him onto his bed. “Drink this water.” He accepted the fresh bottle from her and chugged it down. “We’re gonna let you take it from here. Get some rest, okay? We’ll check on you tomorrow.”
“Oh, this is nice,” he said, snuggling into his bed. Once he systematically began taking off all of his clothes, we snuck out.
“You were really good with him,” I said as we descended the steps in front of the building.
Strawberry Summer Page 16
