by Maya Hughes
Rachel burst into the room, her eyes wide with terror and her mouth wide-open.
“Oh my God,” she said, her hands covering her mouth. “What did you do?” she shouted at Killian.
“I told you not to disturb us,” he said. I pushed myself up off the floor.
“You said you just wanted to talk. That you had something important to tell him. What the hell, Kill?” she shrieked. I quirked my head to the side. Kill. I didn’t know many people that called him that. Especially not someone who’d only met him in a professional capacity. And Rachel was never so unprofessional to call a guest of mine by their first name and then it hit me. She knew him. Not in passing or because of the digging I had her do. She knew him.
“You’re working with him?” I said, storming over to her. “You’ve been reporting on me to him?”
“What? No, please, Mr. Thayer. It’s not like that at all. I would never break your trust. I haven’t told him anything about you.”
I didn’t take betrayal lightly. Rachel was more than an assistant, she’d been like my right hand. She’d been in my house. Watched my daughter.
“You’re fired!” I shouted. Tears formed in her eyes, but I didn’t care. “And get the fuck out of my office,” I roared at Killian.
“Gladly,” Killian said, bowing. He reached out to touch Rachel’s arm and she flinched away. “You know where to find me,” he said to her before striding out the door like he didn’t have a care in the world and he didn’t. He’d just destroyed mine. I turned my icy glare back to her. In my own house. I shook my head. It looked like I lost my touch. Here I thought I didn’t let things get past me. Sure of everything happening around me and she was right here under my own nose.
“Get out,” I seethed. I couldn’t even look at her.
“Please, Mr. Thayer, it’s not like that at all. I’m not working for him. I never have been. He only asked to wait in your office. Said he had something important to tell you and he didn’t want to do it out there. I didn’t know he had anything like this planned,” she said, her voice quivering and motioning to my destroyed office.
“I said, get out,” I roared. She jumped and scurried out the door. I ran my hands through my hair and let out a primal scream before storming out. I needed to fix this. I needed to fix this now, but how?
28
Mel
I rode the elevator up to the apartment, running inside to grab my wallet before running back out. Derek stepped aside as I rushed into the elevator with a box in his hands. I didn’t even stop to talk. I waved and he waved back. I stopped at the bank to get Colleen’s money. I filled out the withdrawal form and went to the teller. She handed me back an envelope, which I tucked safely in my pocket. I glanced at the receipt the teller gave me and stumbled. I raced back up to the counter.
“Sorry, there’s something wrong,” I said, sliding the paper across the counter. “My balance is way wrong,” I said, jabbing my finger at the ‘Available Balance’ line. “While I would love to have all the zeroes in my account, those don’t belong to me.” I’d heard enough stories about people going out of their minds and spending money like crazy when something like this happened and then promptly going to jail.
“Are you sure?” she said, her keyboard clacking as she typed away.
“Completely. As much as I’d like it to be true, it’s definitely not mine.”
“It’s not a glitch. Not that I can tell. It was a deposit made in your name earlier today.” She looked up at me expectantly, like it would have just slipped my mind that someone deposited the GDP of a small nation into my account.
“Made by who?”
“It says it came from Thornton-Smith.”
“I don’t know who that hell that is. And this isn’t my money.” I checked my phone for the time. I needed to get this money to Colleen now. I needed to get her out of the city now and deal with whatever the hell happened here. “Can you have someone look into this? I need to get it fixed.”
“Okay, Ms. Bright, I’ll have someone look at it and give you a call.”
“Fine,” I said, storming out of the bank and heading across the river to the address Colleen gave me with more money than I’d ever had in my hands, tucked in my bag. Please don’t get mugged. ‘Please don’t get mugged’ was my mantra as I hopped off the train. She sat leaned up against the wall of the bus terminal, smoking a cigarette, blowing a cloud of smoke over all the people who passed by.
“Here,” I said, shoving the envelope at her. “It’s all there. Take it and leave. This is it. I don’t want you coming here again.”
“Why, thanks, daughter of mine. You got that pretty quickly. Maybe I should have asked for more,” she said, laughing at a joke that was only funny to her. My hatred for her ran deeper than anything I experienced, anything I’d ever wanted to experience because if someone or something could make me hate them more than Colleen, I’d better be dead or they’d be.
“Colleen,” I warned. I didn’t need her making a habit out of this.
“Fine, fine. I don’t want to come out here again anyway. You never appreciated the things I did for you. Always so ungrateful. If I’d known you were going to be such a hassle, I would’ve let those uptight assholes adopt you when they wanted to,” she said, stubbing her cigarette out on the wall and flicking the butt on the ground. My mind froze as I processed her words. Adopt. Me.
She pushed off the wall and walked toward the buses. I couldn’t move as everything that had happened to me after I left Shannon and Ben flashed through my mind. Every night going to bed without food, every tease and taunt because of my dirty clothes, every night I locked myself in my room because of the way Colleen’s many visitors stared at me, and worst of all the day I ran away, after finally figuring out where Shannon and Ben lived.
I wasn’t more than eight when I had yet another visit from a case worker. Even after all that time, I still wanted to go back. I missed them, even though the betrayal burned bright. I knew if I could just see them again they would fix everything. I begged anyone who would listen to let me go back, but the court ruled that my mom was a fit parent. She told them everything I said was all lies, the ravings of a child who just didn’t want to live with her. They branded me a liar and a troublemaker.
Since I’d slipped away from Shannon that day and the police had been called, I was not to be placed back with them. What a load of crap that was. During our meeting, the social worker stepped out to take a call and I glanced at my case file sitting on the table. I checked the door and flipped the folder open. Paging through the many, many pages in there I found what I looked for. I found the address. I scribbled it down on a piece of paper and closed the folder.
I looked up the address when I went to school and figured out how to get there. Two buses and a three-mile walk later in the pelting rain, I was back at the house. Peacefulness settled over me. Even in the freezing rain I was happy. It was like everything would finally be okay. I’d finally be okay. I knocked on the door and music drifted out the front door from the kitchen. I slipped around the side and peeked in the window. Shannon sang off key like she always did, standing in front of the stove and Ben came walking in with a mug in his hand and gave her a kiss.
I smiled. Even out there in the freezing rain it made me so happy to see it hadn’t all been in my mind. It was real. They were real. I lifted my hand to knock on the glass when a blur came racing into the kitchen, jumping into Ben’s arms. He put his mug down and picked her up. A little girl. Another little girl. It was too long. I’d been gone too long.
Pain sliced through me like I’d been run through with a knife. It hurt deep down in my soul, like someone ripped away the last lifeline I had as a drowning victim. I don’t know how long I stood out there, but it was long enough for me to be soaked through and frozen to the bone. I didn’t even know if it was the rain that did it. I’d been replaced.
My life taken over by someone else and now all I had left was the life I had now. It would never get better t
han this. I’d made one mistake, one little thing that sent ripples through my life and the lives of everyone around me and destroyed it all. Smashed it into a million small shiny fragments that weren’t going to be put together again.
And then I was back, watching the broken woman who gave birth to me gloat that she’d ruined the one good thing for me when I was growing up. The fire burned in my eyes as tears formed and pooled. Her head whipped around so fast, it wasn’t until the sting traveled up my arm, licking my palm that I realized I’d smacked her.
“Don’t you ever speak to me again,” I said, my voice full of venom and anger. “You are not my mother. You’ve never been my mother and I swear, if I ever see you again, I’ll kill you.” I shook with so much rage and I didn’t know how I could walk straight. I longed to be back in my bed. No. I wanted to be back in his bed. Back in Rhys’s bed, in his arms because there I felt like all things were possible. Like the world wasn’t a horrible place and like I finally belonged.
29
Rhys
After Killian left, I went out. I dragged the collar of my coat up high as I stepped out into the blistering cold. Cold, wet, sharp bits of snowy mixture pelted me in the face as I staggered out into the deathly quiet street. I couldn’t think straight. Derek followed behind me, but his presence was like a guard watching over a prisoner. Deadman walking. That’s what I felt like right now. I didn’t know what to do, but I wanted to see Mel, no I needed to see her.
I walked all the way back to the apartment, numb as I stepped into the elevator. Derek took up his post in the lobby. The door almost closed when Mel popped back into the lobby, shaking the sleet and snow from her hair. A smile tugged at my lips. There would be few things that could bring a smile to my face right now and she was one of them. I held the door open for her.
“Hey,” she said, smiling back at me. She seemed upset. Her eyes were ringed with red. It seemed we’d both had a shitty day.
“Hey,” I replied, pushing her hair back behind her ear. “Do you want to talk about it?”
She shook her head and stared back at me, touching the small cut above my eyebrow. I winced, forgetting it was there.
“Do you?” she said, nodding toward me. I shook my head.
“Good,” she said, pressing her body against mine and pulling my head down, our lips meeting. The freezing coldness of our skin slowly seeped away with the fire brewing between us. It had been too long since I had her in my arms. Since I felt her wrapped around me.
“Mel,” I moaned as I broke off our kiss. She kept her head down and tugged on the collar of my coat.
“I need you, Rhys. I just need you,” she said, refusing to look up.
“Then you’re going to have me,” I said, picking her up and wrapping her legs around mine. I rushed into the apartment and leaned her up against the small table in the foyer. I shrugged off my coat and pulled hers off. She fumbled with my belt buckle, undoing it as I worked on her jeans. I slid them down over her ass, jerking her forward so I could pull them off. They dangled from one foot, her shoes still on, and I took out my cock, not even stopping to stroke it. I was beyond hard. Whenever I was with her, I was always hard. I slid into her, bottoming out, catching her moan in my mouth as I tasted her sweetness.
She hitched her leg on my hip, her jeans jangling behind me as I slammed into her. The table rocking and swaying with each thrust. She gripped my shirt in her hands, fisting the fabric as I reached down and slid my fingers across her clit. I strummed it and then her legs tightened around me, her pussy so tight, I could barely move, and she came, screaming my name against my neck.
I followed her over, filling her with come as my legs nearly gave out from under me. Her pussy still milked me as the two of us stood panting in the middle of the foyer, almost completely clothed. I gradually came back to myself. Feeling in my arms and legs returned as she hopped down and fixed her clothes. We had a lot to discuss.
I grabbed the police report out of the safe and put it in her hands. She flipped through it, digesting everything inside. The truth of that night in the rest stop. The truth of why Esme stopped speaking. Other than the officer there, Derek and I were the only other people who knew about it. And now her.
“You don’t understand. I can’t just let whatever Kill’s planning go. He knows something. He knows something that could destroy everything,” I said, running my hands through my hair. The threads were beginning to unravel. After a shower, I brought Mel back into my office and told her about my afternoon run-in with Killian. I knew he was an asshole, hell, I was an asshole when I wanted to be, but I had no idea the depths he would go to just to get back at me. And there was Esme caught in the crosshairs. I couldn’t let anything happen to her. I’d kill him first.
“Rhys, what does he know?”
Could I tell her? The people who knew my secret could be counted on one hand, hell, on one finger.
“It doesn’t matter. He’s going to try to use it against me, but I’ll leave before that happens. I’ll pack up and we’ll leave. The three of us. We can go somewhere. Disappear and start over,” I said, grabbing onto her hands. If this got out it would destroy the life I’d tried to build, but if we were together, maybe we could weather the impending storm.
“Now you’re starting to scare me. What could he know that you are so afraid of getting out? Is it something illegal?”
The day my wife died. The day they laid my little girl in my arms. The day the test results imploded my world. And then it didn’t matter. What mattered was keeping her safe.
“It’s not something I want to get out. I don’t want Esme to know. I don’t want her to ever doubt how much I love her and I won’t let anyone take her away from me. I don’t care whose she is, but she’s my daughter and that’s all that matters,” I said vehemently. This was a declaration I’d made the day I found out and would make until the day I died.
30
Mel
And then it hit me, like a grand piano pushed from the thirtieth floor. My stomach lurched and the picture became crystal clear. How much more important all this was than just some board election. It wasn’t about the money or reputation or any other bullshit. It was about Esme.
“She’s not yours,” I whispered. A plunging sensation overwhelmed me, like I’d been thrown up in the air and come crashing back down. Everything tunnel visioned around me. He rounded on me with more fire in his eyes than I’d ever seen before and a mixture of so many other emotions.
“She is mine. She is mine in every way that counts,” he shouted, but then his shoulders rounded and he splayed his hand across his forehead. “But biologically, no. She isn’t. I didn’t find out until she was almost one,” he said, grabbing a glass off the bar and pouring himself a drink.
“How did you find out?” I sat on the edge of his desk, gripping the sides so tight my knuckles turned white.
“She was out playing in the park. Beth was supposed to be watching her. She took a nasty fall. We rushed her to the hospital and they didn’t know if they’d need to do a blood transfusion, so they recommended I go down and give some. I’m O-negative. My wife was O-negative. Esme is A+. It’s genetically impossible. And then I had a paternity test done,” he said, gulping down the amber liquid, his Adam’s apple bobbing.
“My loving, doting, junkie wife,” he said, throwing the glass against the far wall. It exploded with shards flying across the room. I didn’t even jump. I was numb. This was a secret he’d held for years, something he’d lived with every day. The idea that someone might find out. Someone might take her from him.
“Someone knows,” I said, my stomach dropping.
“Yes, someone knows. Killian took it upon himself to do a little digging of his own. Wants to expose me for the fraud I am, but what he doesn’t realize is that he unearthed something worse. Something I’ve dreaded since the day I found out the truth.”
“She’s your daughter,” I said vehemently. She was his in every way that mattered. “You can’t let anyone
take her.” My voice rose up an octave. The room swam as my breathing increased. They couldn’t take her. He couldn’t let them take her. My vision blinked in and out and my chest constricted like someone squeezed it. I could barely breathe. What the hell is happening to me?
Then he was there, in front of me, holding my face in his hands. Tears prickled the backs of my eyes. They couldn’t take her away from him. What kind of father would they even be sending her to? A shudder ripped through me.
“Mel,” he said, standing right in front of me, but it sounded like he was a mile away. “Mel!” He shook me and a ragged sob ripped through my chest. I buried my head into Rhys’s shoulder. They couldn’t take her away from us. His strong arms wrapped around me, holding me up when all I wanted to do was sink into the floor and disappear. Was this how my mom felt when they came for me? My real mom, she might have only been in my life for a year, but it was the best year of my childhood. Shannon, I can still smell her warm citrus smell and see her bright smile. And then she was gone. Forces beyond my control, ripped me away from her and threw me back to the wolves.
It was almost cruel. To get a glimpse of what could have been. What my life could have been like if I hadn’t been born to Colleen. But those memories were a lifeline I needed so many times growing up, like a girl who dreamed they were a princess who waited for her parents to come back and claim her. My sobs grew louder and my fingers dug into his shoulders as I wrapped my arms under his. Please don’t let this be happening.
“Mel, don’t worry. They won’t take her away. I won’t let them. I’ll do whatever it takes,” he said, pressing his lips to mine. I grasped onto him like a lifeline as my life story replayed in front of me in excruciating detail. I should be the one holding him up, comforting him. But I was a wreck. I couldn’t imagine watching them walk in and taking her away.
