by K. A Knight
He sits down with his hands raised. “Sorry, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a beautiful woman. Right, so why are you here?”
I hear Remi sigh and start to wander away, so I glance back at her. “Don’t go too far, amore.”
“Why? Are the books going to kill me?” She pulls out a knife from her back I didn’t even know she had. It’s the length of my fucking arm. “Bitch, please.” She turns and begins to whistle as she meanders through the stacks.
“Wow, what a woman,” Librarian murmurs, and I glare back at him. “Sorry, sorry.”
“I need the book containing the laws we put into place when we first elected the council. In particular, the laws on how to abolish them.”
His eyebrows rise, and he leans forward. “Kid, what are you up to?”
“Stopping the fucking world from falling into ruin,” I mutter.
He looks me over then. “You have a war coming, that’s for sure, but not with the council. That’s been taken care of, but if it makes you feel better…” He stands and moseys away.
“Wait, what the fuck do you mean it’s taken care of?” I call after him.
REMI
I can hear them talking, but the farther I walk into the maze of books, the quieter they get. Good, I need a moment away from Khalid before I either kill the bastard or jump his bones. He’s driving me crazy. Why did I agree to come with him again?
It was definitely the abs that distracted me. Let this be a note, ladies—don’t let the abs get you nearly killed. They ain’t worth it.
Running my fingers along the meticulously clean stacks, I randomly turn and follow a tug in my belly, which seems to be leading me through the books. Unlike the one that keeps pulling me to the face god, this one is different, deeper, as if it comes from outside of me and not within my soul like the other one. I follow it because I have nothing better to do. I turn and weave through the stacks until I can’t hear them anymore, and when Khalid’s rumbling cadence fades, I slump and sigh.
I can almost feel how inevitable it is. We are going to explode, either by killing each other or fucking our brains out. Honestly, at this point, I’m down for either. But he’s not that bad…is he? Yes, he’s an ass and he flirts with me, and he probably got me killed by my job, but I chose this. No one other than me makes me do anything. If I didn’t want to come, I would have just left, and he never would have found me. But I can’t stop myself. I need to follow this path to see where it’s taking me, like I have an itch to scratch, because this feels bigger than him or me, and if he’s right… If the council is hurting our own kind, then they have to be stopped, no matter the cost.
The tug gets stronger and stronger, until I’m almost running, but my eyes catch on a book before I reach it and I can’t help myself—I stop and turn. The giant book is old and black with gold writing, and the only words on it are ‘The Fallen Gods.’
Isn’t that what the Librarian called Khalid? For some reason, I pull out the tome, blowing the dust away as I stroke the leather cover. It feels important. I look around, but there is nowhere to sit, so I ignore the relentless tugging and sit cross-legged on the floor. The huge, domed ceiling is painted with scenes from over the years, I’m guessing, from wars, to deaths, to births. All kinds of creatures are depicted up there. I can’t even see the walls over the stacks of books, and everything echoes. How big is this place?
Endless, I would think.
Opening the cover, I spot the almost faded handwriting on the first page. “The birth, life, and history of the seven original, now fallen, gods.” Huh. I flip through the pages. There are drawings and endless scrawled notes. Did Book Daddy write this? If so, how does he know Khalid… He said he was old, but as I read, my jaw drops. He was born before anyone. One of seven brothers, it looks like, birthed from Titan parents who are described as cruel and demanding. They wanted their sons’ powers and to rule this world. Huh, no wonder he’s an ass. I stop on one page where there seems to be a family portrait. There are seven good-looking men—gods, but I don’t spot Khalid. Then, I remember his face changes. Is this before, or is he wearing a skin? Something pulls my attention to the lone figure to the right, and I stroke my finger down the angry-looking man. He seems so alone, and if he was wearing a skin then…how sad to not even be himself around his family. The portrait isn’t in colour, so his hair is long and black, his eyes too, but he’s tall and skinny and not how I would have imagined him.
Shaking my head, I keep going, wanting to know as much as I can about my enemy. Well, the man who used to be an enemy and still might be in the future. I pass names of unfamiliar men and what they are—a dragon, a vampire, a sea god, and a sun god before it lands on Khalid.
Khalid - Skinwalker.
Able to change his face at will, this god can easily fade into the background and infiltrate any army or group. He has toppled kingdoms posing as advisors, husbands, and even kings, poisoning and killing their leaders, stopping wars before they even began. Throughout history, he is woven into the fabric but never as himself, instead in the faces of others. However, let us begin at the very start…
I suck in a breath at the aching loneliness wafting through those words. All those years, he walked this world but never as himself. He must have kept everyone at arm’s length, never getting close…never having anyone. Like me. Maybe we are more similar than I thought. Shaking my head at the soft feeling invading my icy heart, I carry on reading the scrawling text.
Khalid is the second born son of their Titan parents. His powers, however, unlike those of his siblings, did not emerge until his seventh year when forced into battle by his parents to prove himself. Nearing defeat, he touched the other fighter, and his skin started to melt away.
Fuck, imagine doing that at seven years old! No wonder he’s messed up.
His parents were overjoyed, the only time they had been proud of their second son, who they feared would be no better than a human. After this battle, however, his powers did not re-emerge when tested. Filled with anger at their disappointment of a son when all of their other children were thriving, they unleashed their wrath upon him.
A sick feeling fills my stomach, and my head lifts, looking in Khalid’s direction. Oh god, what did they do to that poor boy? His own parents!
His mother entertained the idea of putting him into a stressful, near-death situation again to bring out his powers. Yet when his father fought and defeated him, it did not happen. Many speculated this was due to fear of harming his father, who was quick to anger and very cruel. Instead, his parents tried other approaches, torturing the boy. They drowned him in the river. He was hanged only for him to be reborn as gods are. Day after day of different torture techniques were used to try and pull these powers from him until, on their seventh day, they found a successful method.
My stomach rolls and images crowd my mind of a young, scared Khalid being beaten, drowned, and killed by the people who were supposed to love and protect him. And where were his brothers?
Unbeknown to his other siblings, Khalid was put through the most horrific pain and torture we have ever heard of or seen. His siblings thought him strange and quiet as he withdrew further and further into himself, barely speaking a word. It was only when the oldest of the brothers walked in to find their mother carving his face off with a knife that they realised what had been happening right under their noses. Banding together in their hatred of their parents, the brothers vowed to protect Khalid from them, and so they did, taking their wrath so he did not. But it was too late, the boy was changed—darker, angrier, and filled with a deadly hatred that only his brothers seemed to be able to calm. When in these rages, his face would change, and so the parents were happy. The brothers grew and followed orders, always staying together, winning many wars and battles throughout the years. However, they became tired of the restraints. After that, a plan was formed, but a few days before they were going to run away, the brothers suffered a great loss. The human they had adopted as a sister was killed, tossed i
nto the fires of hell by their parents to show the brothers they would never be free of them. Enraged, the brothers killed their parents and, filled with grief for their lost sister, they wandered into the world alone.
I don’t even realise I’m crying until a tear drops to the page. Lifting my head, I wipe them away as my lips tremble. Oh my fucking god. Below my sadness for the man I’ve met is anger, a fucking hatred for those parents and what they put him through. No wonder he never wears his face, he probably fears not using his powers, morphed by their torture and pain. Deep inside, my soul shudders for him, wanting to wrap around him and never let another hurt him again. But wasn’t I going to do just that? Turn him over to the council?
How can I now?
He’s just as broken as I am. Betrayed by those he loved and trusted, walking this world alone to protect himself. Hunting and killing—the only thing he knows how to do.
We are two halves of the same whole.
Shutting the book, unable to read any more, I put it back, and the tugging starts again. “Fucking hell,” I mutter, and decide to let it lead me to wherever it wants me to go just so it will leave me alone. It stops me before a row of scrolls, and I look the dusty, ancient papers over. “What, asshole? No sign saying this one? Don’t make it easy on me or anything,” I grumble as I run my hands over the rows, starting at the bottom. About halfway up, I stop over one that seems to pulse with energy.
Okay then.
Pulling it out, I carefully unroll it, the paper heavy in my hands and feeling very important. It has a number at the top and a prophecy written under it. Great. I run my eyes over it, and at the end, I freeze. It’s about the end of the world, and there is a diagram of a man lying on the floor at the base of some stairs, and above him, on the top step, is a woman. But below them both is a circle of twelve people. Six men, six women. All there with magic surrounding them. A wolf. A dragon… Fuck.
Are these the brothers? Who are the women, and what does this mean?
Am… Is Khalid supposed to stop the end of the world?
And why do my eyes catch on to the figure next to him? The female figure with clawed hands, a long, skinny body, and horns reaching up to the air…just like my creature?
Holy fuck.
“Amore?” comes the yell, so I roll the scroll up and put it back, stepping away.
Nope, fuck that.
The universe should have called spoiler alert or some shit on that. Head down, I hurry through the stacks, letting the feeling of always knowing where Khalid is pull me until I’m before him. He frowns when he sees me, and I swallow, my eyes going to the Librarian, who sighs before standing with a nod.
“Hmm, interesting,” he murmurs. “Okay then.” He turns around and starts digging through a drawer as Khalid steps towards me, his expression worried.
“What happened? Are you okay?” he asks seriously, his concern evident in his voice. I stare at him, unable to help it. After knowing his life…how could I hate him?
“Fine,” I rasp, and he steps closer, pressing against me and tipping my chin back with a finger as he searches my face.
“Liar. What did you see, amore?” he murmurs.
“Here,” the Librarian interrupts, thrusting a hand between us until we stumble back. In his grasp is a necklace. It’s gold with a long chain and a locked amulet at the bottom. He jangles it at me. “Take it, you’ll need it.”
“What for?” I query softly.
“When you know, you will know. Until then…take it, okay?” He throws it at me, and I catch it automatically. It has power, I can feel it, but when it touches my skin, it seems to purr with purpose. I lick my lips, trying to fill the awkward silence.
“Aww, I like him. You never give me jewellery,” I tease brattily. Uncaring of our audience, he narrows his eyes on me and leans in.
“I’ll give you a fucking necklace, amore,” he growls, flexing his hand so I know what he means. My eyes dilate, and my breathing picks up as I remember how much I liked his hand around my throat…
“Got what you wanted?” I purr, my claws stretching within me as my animals urge me to rut him.
“Yes, let’s go.” He grabs my hand and twines his fingers with mine. “I would say nice seeing you…” He trails off as he stares at the Librarian.
“You too, kid.” He follows us out, but at the front door, he stops and looks us over. “Stop trying to fight fate. To save the future, you must forgive the past.” With that cryptic message, he slams the door in our faces.
“Fucking weirdo,” Khalid mutters as he walks me back to the car, but the entire way there, I just stare at the side of his face. He notices and turns to me with a frown. “What, amore?”
“Nothing,” I reply straightaway and look away purposely, even as my heart clenches. Those walls around it crumble further the longer I keep staring into the black eyes of a boy who only ever wanted to be loved. The world hurt and broke him… Could I do the same?
When we reach the car, I get in, and in silence, I drive away from the forest, but it’s dark now. It’s the middle of the night. “Why don’t you pull over and we can rest for a bit?” he suggests.
I nod mutely and do just that, pulling into a bit of the forest where we are surrounded by trees. Locking the door, I climb into the back, put the seats down, and grab the blankets I keep above my weapons store and a pillow. Hey, this isn’t my first time camping in my car when hunting. I pass him one and lay my own down. He does the same next to me as I strip off my boots, put a knife under my pillow, and flop down, staring at the ceiling.
Confused.
“Okay, the quiet is freaking me out. You aren’t threatening me or trying to kill me, what’s wrong?” he demands.
“Just tired,” I tell him and then turn over, closing my eyes and trying to go to sleep. But in that place between awareness and slumber, I start having visions of him. His back is to me, and he’s younger, smaller, but I know it’s him. He’s covered in blood and bound to a pole with his arms above him as a woman comes towards him with a knife.
It wakes me, and I’m breathing heavily with tears in my eyes once more, my heart aching. Arms wrap around me and turn me until I’m staring up at those dark eyes. He searches my face, his own scared. “Remi, talk to me,” he begs. “What’s wrong?”
When did we get this close? He’s already between my thighs, and I don’t mind. Worse yet, I feel my mouth opening and spilling secrets I shouldn’t. I can’t tell him what I read, not yet, so instead, other secrets pour out to distract him and me.
“Nightmares of my pack,” I tell him.
His eyes narrow, and he gets in my face, holding me there. “Tell me.”
“They…they hated me. Because of my tiger. I was a freak. I tried not to be, I was strong, but they made me an omega anyway.” I tried to stop talking, but something about those black eyes and the darkness around us has me spilling more. “I was their punching bag. They were allowed to do whatever they wanted to me, and I wasn’t allowed to fight them or stop them, or I would have been hurt worse.”
He growls, and I close my eyes before opening them again, unwilling to be ashamed of what I survived. I know he understands, and sometimes, pain needs to be shared. Now that I’ve started, I can’t stop. It spills out of me like an overfull reservoir I’ve dammed my entire life, seeking relief.
“It went on for years, but I got stronger and stronger, and when I realised I could turn into a wolf and changed, they hated me more. I almost died that night. But on my fifteenth birthday, it got bad, really bad. I was in the forest alone, hiding from them like I often did, when…when he found me.” I suck in a breath. “He was the enforcer of the pack, a beta on track to be alpha. He hated me since I was a kid, went out of his way to be cruel to me, but he was bigger now and had the power. He tried to rape me.” My voice is dead, flat. “He ripped my clothes off…but I couldn’t let him. Something inside me wouldn’t let me. I hit him. He went flying, and he changed into his wolf. He went crazy and tugged me around, rippi
ng me to shreds. He was so strong and big, I remember the feeling of his claws disembowelling me…slashing into my skin. The sight of his white muzzle covered in my blood, those yellow eyes locked on me, my own death echoing in them. I couldn’t even change. I was bleeding, dying, I could feel it… Then something came to me in the dark. Something I never knew I had, and it tore free. It wanted to kill him, but I tried to stop it… I couldn’t. It was too strong. I blacked out, and when I woke up, I was standing over his mangled, half-eaten body, my lips covered in his blood and the taste of his flesh in my mouth. Not a year later, his brother, the other beta who had spent the previous year making my life hell because of what I had done, became alpha. Some called what I did self-defence, but he never believed them. He thought I should pay for killing his brother. The old alpha convinced him not to torture me anymore, but to kick me out instead. To be done with me, to sentence me to a life as a feral…a stray all alone.” I suck in a breath. “I have such horrors in my past. You ask me why I hunt. Because I have no choice. Because this thing inside of me won’t let me stop. I have to sate its needs, or it kills without remorse, and it would kill innocents.” I blink then, staring at his face. “I’m terrified of becoming a monster.”
“A monster wouldn’t fear that,” he murmurs softly before he grips my chin harder. “I will kill him for you. Kill any who harmed you. I vow that, Remi.”
I shake my head, but he grips me harder, just on the edge of pain. The spark of it flows through me and makes me gasp. My creature bubbles to the surface from it, wanting to protect me, to feel that pain as well, even as I try to hold it back, but under those black eyes, I’m struggling. “I will. They will die in pain, begging for forgiveness with your name on their lips. I will rip them to pieces after hours and hours of torture. They will know what you felt, but ten times worse.” He leans closer. “I promise.”
Something about him speaking about killing, the intimate details of that and the soft spoken yet terrifying promise, sets the creature free. After all the years of holding it back, of being strong, it breaks through in my one weak moment. He’s flung back as I scream, wrapping my arms around myself to try and stop it.
