by Lara Swann
“Okayyy…ready.” Mom says, drawing my attention back toward her.
“You do know we’re going to have a professional photographer there?” I ask, not even trying to hide my smile as Mom taps at her phone.
“Yes, yes, but I just had to get one for myself.” She smiles at it with satisfaction, sighing again.
“Thanks for not putting me in some ugly dress, sis.” Lori mutters beside me, giving me a crooked smile.
She is looking lovely in a lilac dress that flows over her figure and compliments her beautifully. A figure that is now so much healthier than it was a year ago. Lori has color in her cheeks, a glow to her face and she’s recovered better than I could have hoped for. We haven’t had the slightest issue for almost a year now - and she’s moved far enough off meal plans that she’s even planning to eat exactly the same as everyone else today. And with Emma standing beside her, as a miniature clone holding a basket of white-and-lilac flowers, she looks even better.
“They’re here!” Dad calls from outside. “The cars are here!”
Mom immediately sets her phone down, grabbing her bag and starting to gesture to us in a fluster.
“The cars are here, girls, c’mon c’mon, we don’t want you to be late.”
“I don’t think we’re in danger of being late.” I try to say, even as I let myself be shooed outside. “And I thought I was supposed to be, anyway.”
“Yes, but not too late. There’s just the right amount of late, and I want to make sure you hit it exactly.”
“I’m pretty sure Nathan won’t mind—”
“Hush, c’mon, in the cars now everyone.”
I give up with a laugh, letting Mom do her organizing thing. She’s enjoyed the planning and set up of this wedding almost as much as I have, and as we get the car and take seats next to each other, she takes my arm in hers and beams at me.
“Oh, Jessica, I can’t believe it. You’re getting married. I’m so proud of you—and Nathan—he’s about as perfect as he could be.” She smiles at me, some of her ardor fading into genuine warmth. “I love you, Jessica.”
“I love you too, Mom.”
“Married…” She repeats, shaking her head in wonder.
I laugh again. I didn’t know she’d almost given up on me that much.
She knows it’s not technically my marriage, too - we’ve told everyone we would want to be here exactly what’s happening - but like everyone else, she insists on referring to it that way, and I’m quite touched at how much effort everyone is putting into making it exactly that: my marriage.
It took Mom and Dad a little while to get over it when they first heard about our initial marriage of convenience scheme, I think more at the idea that I’d gone and gotten married and not even told them than because they objected to our decision to do it. I felt pretty guilty about that, especially knowing how much Mom was hoping I’d settle down and get married at some point, but after explaining enough times, they came around. Dad first, of course.
It’s on the way to the venue, without the distraction of Mom bustling around or Lori and Emma’s antics, that I start to get nervous. My stomach tightens and twists in knots in a way that’s almost a good feeling, like I’m buzzing too much to properly fit into my skin.
“You okay?” Mom murmurs to me, a knowing look in her eye.
I nod, trying not to swallow. “Yeah, I…yeah. It’s just a lot.”
“I know. Believe me, I know, sweetie. But it’s going to be wonderful.”
I think that’s exactly what’s causing the nerves. It’s almost too much, and it’s like my body doesn’t know how to handle it.
By the time we arrive, I’m tingling all over, I can barely breathe and I think my heart might soar out of my chest with excitement and anticipation. Lori and Emma get out of the car in front and Mom steps out to give me a hand down—and then I finally get to see the place we’ve set up, and all the people waiting for me. All of my closest friends and family, people I wouldn’t be without in my life.
The place we’ve hired is a modestly sized, outside area and it’s exactly what we were looking for. I’ve always been drawn to smaller, more intimate weddings - with the idea that the people who I invite to join me are the people I intend to keep close in my new life going forward - and Nathan loved the idea. I think part of that was because, from what I can tell, his wedding to Stephanie was outlandishly large. They had the money, she liked the attention and her parents insisted on inviting everyone they knew.
I’ve tried really hard not to make comparisons, or think about anything like that, but it does make it easier to understand some of Nathan’s preferences this time around.
There’s a wedding tent to the side in case of rain - but we’re lucky today, just a few wisps of clouds in the sky - but the main event is on the large, open lawn where we’ve set up chairs, a wooden trellis arch and an aisle decorated with flowers to either side. It’s there that everyone is standing looking toward us - and while usually that would set me on edge, today it just fills me with warmth.
Far off to the side, there’s a set of tables and chairs set out, as well as long buffet tables that haven’t been filled yet and a makeshift wooden dancing floor. I don’t actually think we need a dancing floor - there’s nothing wrong with grass - but it came with the speaker system we hired. And behind that…is the bouncy castle.
That, if anything, is the only thing that steadies my nerves as Dad makes his way toward me from the other car, and I grin as I look at it. I wanted to do this somewhere big enough for the children to run around and play—and something to get them excited too. Emma is already jumping up and pointing it out to Lori, who tries to make sure she doesn’t end up standing on her dress, and I already can’t wait to see her and Louise’s children making good use of it later.
And, let’s be honest, probably a lot of the adults too.
“Are you ready, sweetheart?” Dad asks from beside me, and I tear my gaze away and back to what I’m about to do.
This time I do swallow, but I nod as well, not quite able to speak as too many feelings surge within me.
At Lori’s urging, Emma takes her place in front of me with her basket while Lori hands me my bouquet and retreats behind me.
“Thanks.” I say, the word coming out as a whisper just because I’m slightly hoarse right now.
She gives me a grin—and then I hear the music start from up ahead, as they see us get into position. The way this venue is set out, with all the land below, the cars arrive onto a graveled driveway up top and then I descend down through manicured gardens and set-piece walls before getting to the level everyone else is on.
I hadn’t realized just how that would feel until I start walking, and I find myself blushing as I do - though there’s something beautiful about walking down through those gardens and flowers, feeling a little bit like a grand queen from ages ago—or maybe a princess.
Doesn’t every girl dream of being a princess at her wedding? If there’s any day to indulge that kind of fantasy, this would be it.
I’m trembling slightly as I descend the steps and it only increases as I near the wedding party, excitement and anticipation combining within me until it feels like I’m going to burst out of my skin.
I look around as I approach, all the people I love most in the world looking back at me with smiles and more than a few tears, there to watch me marry the most perfect man I could imagine. It just seems too perfect, and I can feel it all welling in me, my heart skipping as my chin starts to wobble at the intensity of it all.
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. C’mon, Jessica, you’re not going to cry.
So I smile instead. A wide, beaming smile that I can’t help, everything I’m feeling radiating out of me as I look everywhere—nowhere—and then forward. To him. The man waiting for me at the end.
Emma is skipping forward enthusiastically, throwing petals out to either side as she proceeds me - missing the seat set aside for her and going straight forward to her Daddy instead.
He takes her hand automatically, not even looking down as his Mom comes to collect Emma, his entire attention riveted to me.
I shudder, and I think I’ll remember that look on his face for the rest of my eyes. Intense, longing, adoring love. It makes me blush as I come down the aisle, but I don’t look away—I can’t. This is the man I’m going to marry.
Finally. Somehow. Through some stroke of luck or fate.
I’m not sure what I did to deserve this, but the intensity of it prickles along my skin.
I join him there at the front and Lori collects my bouquet, as he reaches out to take my hands in his, looking at me with as much awe as I feel right now.
“Jessica…you’re stunning.”
I smile, feeling oddly shy for a moment—and then the officiant steps forward, smiling warmly at both of us. We debated whether we needed the formality for a while, but ended up deciding we wanted this to be as close to the real thing as possible.
“Nathan Blake, Jessica Rivers, you’re here today to renew your vows - and to make new ones.” He begins, and this time we take the time to listen as he talks to us about marriage, the meaning of it and the ties we’re making today.
By the time he gets to our vows, I can feel tears prickling at my eyes and when I look back at Nathan, his are shiny too. We repeat our vows and then finally make the commitment it feels I’ve been waiting a lifetime for.
“I do.” I whisper, scarcely able to hear myself over the pounding in my ears - but Nathan obviously does, his grin threatening to split his face as he shifts a step closer to me. I’m pretty sure that’s not standard wedding protocol, but I don’t object - I can’t, when the power and heat of his presence is nearly overwhelming.
We exchange rings - real ones this time, gold bands that we’ve chosen together and that I know I’m never going to want to take off once - and then, finally, the officiant tells Nathan that he may kiss me.
That’s all it takes for him to step forward, almost whisking me backward as he presses me to him, his mouth on mine in a passionate, searing embrace that leaves me breathless and aching for more.
Everyone breaks out into cheering behind us and I laugh against him as I hear him, feeling light and floaty with happiness. He’s obviously feeling some of that too, because before I can catch my breath, he’s whirling me around again, twirling me in front of everyone. I start laughing properly, but he doesn’t start there, moving with me, our bodies pressed together in an instinctive rhythm—that quickly becomes a real one as someone takes control of the sound system and puts on our ‘end-of-ceremony’ track.
Everyone is laughing now as Nathan doesn’t let up, whooping for us as a few people start joining in themselves.
“Nathan.” I gasp, smiling helplessly at him. “This isn’t…the first dance is supposed to come later, you know.”
“So we’ll do it later as well.” He grins at me, leaning in to kiss me some more.
“I’m not sure you quite grasp the meaning of ‘first’.”
“Maybe I just wanted an excuse to be close to you…holding you…touching you…” He says, his voice deepening with desire as we move together, and just like that all my objections disappear.
They’re lost in a wave of lust and laughter and pure unadulterated fun.
We were meant to form a procession down the aisle, with people throwing confetti as we passed through the arch, but…somehow this is better. It’s wild and free and all the things I’m feeling right now - and what’s the good in a large, open space like this if you can’t leave the designated ‘wedding’ area and start free-styling around it.
It’s not until half the wedding party is dancing with us that I realize it was probably even better this way - I would have been nervous as hell for the real first dance and all the build up towards it, but this…this just worked.
We keep going for far longer than I expect, all that nervous-anticipation energy and adrenaline finally having an outlet, and there’s something magical about being that close to Nathan, meeting his gaze and letting the whole world fall away.
When I finally collapse, exhausted, we settle on the steps off to the side and watch everyone having fun. Emma grabs Lori’s hand and runs off to the bouncy castle just as soon as Nathan’s Mom lets her, half of our guests are dancing and the other half laughing and chatting as they migrate over to the steadily-being-filled tables of food.
“I can’t believe it.” I say, interlinking my hand with his and leaning against his shoulder. He puts his arm around me almost immediately. “We’re actually married.”
He smiles, tilting my chin up towards him as warmth shines from his eyes.
“I know. I wonder how I ever got this lucky. I love you so much, Jessica.”
I sigh softly. “I love you too. I’ve loved you for years. It seems impossible this ever actually happened.”
“Years?” He asks, raising an eyebrow in surprise, and I suddenly blush - then laugh, only halfway embarrassed.
“Yeah.” I say with a smile, meeting his gaze. “I think I had a crush on you from pretty much the second day I started working at Blake’s Family Practice. I figured it would fade with time, but if anything…it only got stronger.”
He stares at me. “Wait, back then? I thought everything…was totally platonic.”
“Yeah. For you maybe.”
“And you never said anything?” He asks, incredulous. “Daamn, Jessica, we could have done this years ago.”
I just laugh. “Well, either that or I would have scared you off completely and risked a perfectly good job in the process. Then this would have never happened.”
“I…” He starts, then stops, considering. “Hm, actually, maybe you’re right about that. Maybe it was a good thing you didn’t.”
“Somehow, I think everything worked out as it was supposed to.” I say and he looks down at me, that smile back in his eyes as he kisses me again.
That’s about as long as we get together before we’re interrupted, whisked away by people who want to talk and dance and congratulate us on everything. The party descends into a celebration of dancing, too much food, cake and fun, and we both lose ourselves in the buzz and excitement. It’s a few hours later before I find myself alone again and I take a moment just to watch everything going on around me.
Being surrounded by all our friends and family, all the people who really matter to me, and seeing them all together and having such a great time, fills me with so much warmth I think I might burst from trying to contain it all.
I stay there for several minutes, just drinking it all in…and then I go to find Nathan. I take his hand in mine, whisper in his ear and within moments we’re sneaking off together, more than ready to start our new life together…exactly how we intend to go on.
THE END
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More Books by Lara Swann
Accidental Baby
I’ve spent years raising my sister.
Starting a billion-dollar company to keep her secure.
That’s all that’s ever mattered.
Now she’s at college, I take one night for myself…a little wild freedom…
Guess what happens?
It was only supposed to be one night - but she left me desperate for more.
Searching for the girl with the sparkling blue eyes and wild passion. Ava Lockley.
The one who danced and kissed and cried out with total abandon in my arms.
When she walked out in the middle of the night, I thought I’d never find her again.
Until she turns up at my office days later.
Part of a new team - working for me and totally off-limits.
My business has ruled my life for years…but I can’t st
ay away.
One night turns into two, stealing moments together and sneaking around.
Then she says she’s pregnant.
A baby. My baby.
If anyone finds out, my once-in-a-lifetime business deal is screwed.
She’ll lose the one chance she’s got at her dream job.
So now we have this secret - and all I want to do is tell people.
I’m going to be a Daddy.
The only thing that stops me is putting her career in jeopardy.
It can’t stay hidden forever - but that doesn’t matter.
This baby is mine. Ava is mine.
And I’ll do whatever it takes for us to be a family.
Even if I have to give up my life’s work.
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Hero Next Door
Ex-Marine. Ex-Wife. Ex-hausted.
I left my brothers in the Marines to start a family.
I left my ex-wife when that family drove her to drink and drugs.
Now all I have left is my son - and he’s all I care about.
I can’t afford to make another mistake.
And the girl who moved in next door? Mistake written all over her.
She’s got the sweetest smile, the hottest damn curves and behind it all…a haunted look.
I can’t take my damn eyes off her.
My powerful body and coarse attitude make her nervous - and as she tries to start a new life away from her abusive ex, she has her own reasons to stay away.
But we can’t help it. We’re f*cking drawn to each other.
And when she tells me how much she wants a baby…
I make every mistake in the book.
Because I want a family again.
I want her. My son. And a baby.
And when her past comes calling…
I’ll fight to hell and back to keep it.
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