by Nicola May
‘All her life, apart from a stint in London twenty-odd years ago, I think.’
‘You think?’
‘I haven’t known her long enough to get the whole story,’ Rosa said quietly.
‘How exciting – a long-lost family tale.’
‘I’m surprised Edie hasn’t told you all about that, too.’ Rosa started tidying the shop counter. ‘You’re still staying at the Ship, then?’ she asked.
‘Yes, just for a couple more days. I’m in the boxroom and Sheila is only charging me for food and drink, not lodgings. As, in her words, we are in effect “cleaning up her garden”.’
‘That’s kind, although that room is so tiny.’ Rosa could remember it well. ‘I stayed in the pub for a few days myself when I first moved down from London.’
‘It’s fine by me. Do I look like someone who’s used to five-star luxury?’ Nate pointed to his scruffy hair and sand-stained shorts and gave her the familiar smile that made Rosa feel a little unsettled.
‘Where do you plan to go afterwards?’ she asked. ‘Back to the north coast? That’s where you’re from, I think.’
There was a huge squawk from the back yard. Nate put his hand on Rosa’s shoulder. ‘Shall we go and see those birds?’
‘Yes, come through.’ Rosa led the way into the back kitchen and out through the door into the yard, closing it behind her to keep Hot out. ‘Working for the charity must be such a rewarding job though,’ she said. ‘And two years at it, that’s dedication. Although the older guy with you in the café said you were a newbie.’
‘Oh, er – a newbie to this beach, he probably meant,’ Nate said swiftly. ‘Here they are. Hello, boys.’ Flotsam and Jetsam came to the front of their cages, crying in defiance at still being locked up and flapping their now mended wings furiously. Pete had reminded him to double check a full wing span and that the charity leg bands around their legs were not too tight. After watching them in their respective cages for a minute, he was happy. ‘Right, let’s set them free.’
‘Really? That’s great. Despite the noise, I will be a little sad to let them go.’
‘This shop set you free, didn’t it, Rosa?’ Nate said. ‘I can tell just by the look on your face. Free from the rat race, the bullshit we call life. Lucky you.’
‘Yes, I do thank my lucky stars every day. But I also believe we make our own luck, Nate. I could have got the shop, just ticked it over, cheated by secretly selling it to someone who wanted it rather than deserved it. But no. I wanted to make a success of it in my own right. Wanted to make my family proud for giving me this chance.’ Rosa looked up and suddenly thought how apt it was that Tina had so sweetly named one of those stars after her, stars which she had so often looked up to and wished on so many times during her lost and unhappy past.
Nate opened both cage doors at the same time and with a united screech of relief, the big birds spread their mended wings and flew up to the balcony, before soaring off, high above the rooftops and down towards the cliffs and the beautiful sea.
‘There they go,’ Rosa said, watching them. ‘But like I said, where are you off to, now the beach clear-up is nearly over?’
Without answering, Nate pulled his phone out of his pocket, saying hastily, ‘Er, sorry to be rude, Rosa, but Pete needs me down the front. I told him I was only going to be five minutes.’
Rosa let him out of the back gate then went inside the shop and shut the door behind her. Nate seemed to know an awful lot more about her than she did about him, she thought. On reflection, she didn’t even know his last name. And what a funny thing to lie about – how long you had worked somewhere… Oh well. Maybe she had just heard him incorrectly. But why was he so hesitant in answering her questions about the future?
There was something about him that made her feel uneasy. Maybe, like her mother, she had been gifted with some kind of sixth sense – but if so, right at this moment, that sense wasn’t making any sense at all.
CHAPTER 11
‘Oh Rosa, sadness is but a wall between two gardens. Josh will be back in no time and if I were you, duck, I would grab the opportunity to take a trip to New York before you have nippers of your own running around your feet.’ Mary hugged her daughter to her ample chest.
They were in the kitchen at Seaspray Cottage, Mary’s home that she had formerly shared with Rosa’s great-grandmother Queenie.
‘I miss him,’ Rosa lamented.
‘He hasn’t even been gone a week yet,’ Mary pointed out patiently.
‘I know, but we haven’t been apart for ages – and now I think about it, we still haven’t been on that honeymoon he promised and we’ve been married a year now. At least he waited until after our first anniversary to go.’
‘Think back to a few months ago when you were in a terrible place. Josh went off to London and you didn’t even know if he was ever going to come back to you.’
‘Thanks for reminding me, Mother.’ Rosa’s mind flashed back to her drunken night with Lucas when she couldn’t remember whether they had had sex or not. Instead of running out on her, the emotionally mature Josh had made sure that she received all the support she needed – and then came back to her when she was ready to move forward with their relationship.
‘You are right though, time will fly,’ Rosa conceded. ‘Yes, it’s only September but I have Christmas forward-planning to arrange for both the shop and the café. So I will be very busy. And there’s Titch’s wedding to help her with too.’
‘That’s the spirit, girl.’
‘Josh is in New York with his friend Carlton, you know. Goodness knows what the two of them will get up to.’ Carlton was a great single mate of Josh’s; Rosa had met him a few times and liked him.
Mary leaned towards her. ‘You are to go home and make sure the Peridot stone I gave you stays near, all right? You were getting so much better with this jealousy lark.’
‘I just don’t want anything to go wrong,’ Rosa said, close to tears. ‘I feel properly happy for the first time in my life.’
‘You know what Kahlil Gibran would say on the matter, don’t you?’ Mary smiled, causing the same reaction in her daughter.
‘No, but do tell. Not that I could stop you!’
‘That love and doubt are not on speaking terms.’
‘OK, your favourite prophet did pretty good with that quote. In fact, Sara was just saying a similar thing about her and Alec the other day. But I’m still scared, that it might all end.’
‘Well, if you keep putting that out to the universe, then it might. Stay positive, and life will bring you joy. How beautiful to find a heart that loves you, without asking you for anything else, only to know that you are happy. You’re lucky, my girl. Love found you.’ Mary’s voice tailed off.
Rosa sensed an underlying sadness in her mother’s words. They had never spoken about her previous relationships – or who Rosa’s father was, for that matter. All Rosa knew was that she had been the result of a one-night stand when Mary was in the dark and painful grip of her alcoholism. Mary had done everything to care for her but one night, under the influence of drink, she had dropped her baby daughter, causing the cut on the tiny girl’s cheek, which subsequently became a scar in the shape of a bolt of lightning. That scar was a reminder to them both of Rosa’s tough start in life, for from that day forward she had been taken away from her mother and brought up in care.
At that moment, Merlin mad cat came screeching through the cat flap and started munching noisily at his crunchies. Mary reached into her apron pocket and took a large puff on her inhaler. After silently counting to ten, she released her breath and looked at the clock. ‘Time for me to go up to get changed for work, love.’
Titch was serving a customer when Rosa arrived back at the Corner Shop. In his basket, Hot raised an ear, then after being tickled behind that ear, he dug himself in under his blanket again and went back to sleep, lying on top of the squirrel rag.
Rosa went to the back kitchen and put the kettle on. She hated the empty f
eeling she got when Josh wasn’t near her. Realising she was maybe getting overly reliant on him again she pulled her shoulders back and let her mother’s words soak in. She had to believe that Josh loved her, but after suffering so much loneliness and rejection as a child, she carried deep scars within and it was hard to stay present and correct sometimes. Giving up alcohol had helped with this though, massively. Her mind and emotions were on far more of an even keel now. And if she did feel nagging doubts rising, she could quite easily talk herself down from them. Alec had been and still was her rock for when she needed to talk things through. Maybe she should see him soon, Rosa thought, before this empty feeling started to engulf her.
She went through to the shop carrying two mugs of tea and the biscuit tin.
‘I’ve been dying to talk to you,’ Titch said. ‘Quick, sit here.’ She patted the empty stool behind the counter then reached for her mobile. ‘Look! You are only on the bloody Daily Mail Online.’
Rosa nearly splattered her tea everywhere. ‘What the…? Let me look.’ The headline read: Cockleberry Bay Resident to Give Shop Away For Free. There were several pictures of her and the shop, taken by Scott on that summer day.
‘How bizarre that they’ve only just picked up the story,’ Rosa said. ‘It was in the Gazette in July.’
‘Maybe it’s a slow news week.’ Titch munched on a custard cream. ‘Look at you being famous. There’s a good side to it though, as now everyone will know about the shop and that will surely boost sales. And I guess you will want to give the flat away with the shop, won’t you?’
Rosa put her hand on her friend’s. ‘Sorry for not discussing this openly with you before. I should have done when the story appeared in the paper, back in the summer. The thing is, I’m kind of not sure about it. Part of me knows it’s time to let it go, but this place is so ingrained in me that another part of me wants to keep it. But Josh tells me it’s not viable for our future plans. The way I dealt with that was, I decided to put a ten-year proviso on it, as I would hate someone to buy it just to make a fast buck.’
Titch took a deep breath and held her tongue. Overhearing what Josh had said about her inability to run the shop had really upset her. She had discussed it with Ritchie who said to take no notice – that Josh was a stuck-up mummy’s boy and that it was her friendship with Rosa that counted. If truth be told, what Josh had said about her was right, but what she lacked in academic qualification, Titch knew she made up for in common sense, which in her eyes was three-quarters of the battle – in everything in life. And with her husband-to-be’s ability to look at a bag of potatoes and know exactly how many chips you could get out of it, she knew there would never be a problem on the financial side of things.
Aware how huge a decision this was for her friend, instead of speaking her thoughts aloud and causing Rosa to feel guilty, she was the bigger person and simply said, ‘That’s the trouble when hearts are worn on sleeves, isn’t it, Rose? We sometimes lose sight of the overall picture.’
‘Yes, but I also feel a bit funny because it will mean letting go of something that is mine. After that, everything I have will be shared with Josh. I want to feel secure, Titch. I’ve never had a home of my own before.’
‘Rose, he loves you, mate – he loves you so bloody much. Men don’t take on the kids thing lightly. That’s why I’m so blessed with Ritchie too; he’s taking on someone else’s child, as well as me. Now, that is commitment.’
‘I do hear you. And we have been on a massive shag-fest for the last few weeks. There is every chance I could be pregnant, I reckon.’ Rosa took a slurp of tea. ‘Would you want it though? The shop, I mean. I thought you were all set to take over the chippie with Ritchie.’
Titch’s voice softened. ‘You need to follow your heart, Rose. You always have, and it knows things that your mind can’t explain.’
‘But?’
‘Hush.’ Titch put her finger to her friend’s lips. ‘No more about it, now.’
‘OK.’ Rosa obediently drank her tea. ‘Have you heard from Theo’s dad lately?’
‘Yes. Because of Theo’s illness, Ben is in regular touch and is coming down to stay with his dad for Christmas.’
‘Big Ben, eh.’ Rosa laughed.
Titch couldn’t suppress her laughter either. ‘Such an apt nickname for my last conquest of wild debauchery. It’s hard to believe I will be a respectable married woman like you soon.’
‘Yeah. Who’d have thought it.’ Rosa giggled again. ‘I keep forgetting that Alec is Theo’s grandad too. Sara hates it when I call her Grandma.’ She rooted around in the biscuit tin and helped herself to a fig roll. ‘Theo’s fine now though, isn’t he?’
‘Yes, but with the bowel condition he’s got, there is a chance it can flare up again. It’s just such a relief that Ben has the same blood group.’
Rosa remembered with a shudder the stressful hospital dash with little Theo when he had been under her care.
‘Ben’s coming to the wedding too,’ Titch went on, ‘with his girlfriend. Ritchie is so laid back, he’s fine about it. In fact, they are both going to mind Theo for us in the evening.’
‘That’s very grown up.’
‘Ben is Theo’s father, Rose. He’s going to be in all our lives forever, so it’s the way forward. We were not in love, we were just strangers having sex on a drunken stag night, so there will never be any animosity. And he’s going to be a bloody doctor too, so the maintenance will always be good.’
Rosa tutted. ‘You’re a tinker and a survivor, Ms Whittaker.’
Titch grinned. ‘Takes one to know one, Mrs Smith.’
CHAPTER 12
Rosa sat on the side of the bath waiting for the white plastic stick of the pregnancy test to show her fate. Josh had arranged to FaceTime her shortly, so she thought it was the perfect time to do it. Her boobs had been feeling a bit sore and she had had a few tummy twinges, so she was almost certain that this was it. She turned the stick face down as she almost couldn’t bear to know either way. Counting the last sixty seconds in her head, she braced herself and turned the test over.
The words NOT PREGNANT shouted back at her. Amazed at how quickly tears stung her eyes, she stood up. In her promiscuous teenage years, getting pregnant would have been the worst thing in the world to happen to her. It was ironic really, all those times she was so relieved that she wasn’t pregnant and this one time, when it was something she really did want, it was negative. Maybe she had tried the test too early? Popping the stick back in the empty box, the moment of hope was dashed when she felt the familiar sensation of period blood trickling down into her pants. Sitting on the toilet, she rested her head on the wall. Sensing her distress, Hot trotted in and plonked himself down across both of her socked feet.
‘Hey, you.’
Rosa attempted a smile at the sight of her handsome husband smiling back at her down the iPad screen. Then on seeing her expression his face dropped. ‘What’s the matter, beautiful girl?’
‘I’m not pregnant.’
‘Oh, sweetheart. It’s OK, please don’t be sad. You surely want me around to be able to moan to when it does happen – and just think of all the practising we can do.’
‘It’s just a bit disappointing, that’s all. How’s it going, anyway?’
‘All good. Me and Carlton are sharing this swish apartment. Here, let me give you a little tour.’ He whizzed the camera around so she could see his surroundings.
‘Nice. Project going OK?’
Josh knew that wasn’t really what his slightly insecure wife wanted to hear. ‘Yeah. Work’s good but we’ve only been out once. We’ve got such a tight deadline that we are going to be knackered most of the time. So, it’s same shit, different day, really. We just happen to be in New York.’
‘New York, so terrible for you, isn’t it?’ Rosa smirked at him.
‘I want to squeeze that pretty little face of yours,’ Josh laughed. ‘It is so different to being down in the Bay. I miss the peace, to be honest. I never tho
ught I’d say that after living in and loving London for so long. I won’t miss hearing sirens when I’m home, I can tell you that. How’s our Hot?’
At the mention of his name, the little hound’s ears pricked up. Rosa lifted him and waved a paw down the phone.
‘Bless him! I miss you both so much. Do you fancy coming over soon? I’m allowed to put one flight on the company and it would be such fun.’
‘The way I feel today, I just want to crawl into bed with a hot water bottle.’
‘Bless you, darling. I wish I was there to take care of you.’
‘I’m being a baby, it’s fine. I do miss you though. Sundays are the worst. Let me speak to Titch about my coming over, but it’s not so easy now she’s got Theo to look after, and Mary doesn’t like to do more than a few hours on her own. Plus, I’ve got Sara and the café to think about too. And Jacob’s pulling his hair out with the puppies so I don’t want to burden him with Hot.’
‘OK, OK, sweet girl. No stress. If it’s not possible I will come home for a weekend. I finish up mid-December anyway, which is not that far away. Better go. I popped back in my lunch-break to have some privacy. Love you both.’ He waved and blew her a kiss.
Rosa fingered her wedding ring and with true doggy intuition, Hot put his paw on his mistress’s foot and looked up at her. ‘Come on, Mr Sausage,’ she sighed, ‘let’s take you for a walk and go and get us both some dinner.’
Saying ‘Mr Sausage’ made Rosa think of Lucas – aka Luke to her. Luke was what he had called himself when they had first met; when he was on a find-out mission for his mother at the Corner Shop. It was Luke who had immediately nicknamed Hot ‘Mr Sausage’, making her laugh. She wondered why he hadn’t been down to the Bay to see Sheila for so long. Yes, his mother, Sheila Hannafore, landlady of the Ship Inn, was a tricky character – but it just seemed odd that Luke hadn’t been seen since before last Christmas. That was the time when she had drunkenly thrown herself at him – the night she had been convinced that Josh was having an affair. It was months ago now, coming up to a year soon, and there’d been no sign of him since. Yet Luke had taken great pride in telling her that he never missed a summer or Christmas down in the Bay.
