by Nicola May
I do understand. Unrequited love is the torment from hell! All I will say, my darling son, is that real reciprocated love, when nurtured, never fails.
So, I sign out not with a goodbye, but a ‘see you later’. Make every second count, Lucas, my darling. Don’t sweat the small stuff and remember, wherever I am, I will be willing you on and loving you and Tom with all my heart, just as I have since the day you left my body and entered my heart.
Yours forever,
Mum X
Rosa’s sobs were stifled by a loud knocking on the door and then the familiar voice of DC Clarke shouting through the letterbox downstairs. He was early. Could he not just ring the doorbell, like everyone else?
She sniffed, wiped her eyes with an old tissue she had in her pocket and made her way downstairs.
‘Hello, Rosa. Ooh, I couldn’t half do with a cuppa. We’ve run out of teabags down at the station. And a few of those homemade biscuits you had before would go down a treat,’ were the portly policeman’s first words to her.
Rosa managed a secret grin. If Titch were here, she’d be beside herself. DC Clarke really was the greediest man. On previous visits, when he was investigating a fire started in the back kitchen of the Corner Shop, he had managed to ingest half a tin full of Mary’s homemade delights. His lack of a waistline was proof of his sweet tooth.
She led him upstairs to the flat and then went into the kitchen to make him his tea.
‘Here.’ Rosa handed him a packet of plain digestives.
His face fell. ‘None of those nice ones you usually have?’
‘No,’ Rosa replied indignantly. ‘Not today. On your own then?’
‘Yes, I’ve left Collins at the pub.’ DC Clarke sat on the smaller sofa opposite Rosa. After an initial spate of barking and sniffing at the policeman’s shoes, Hot was now back snoozing, one eye open, guarding his mistress from his dog bed.
‘So, the officer on duty on the night of the thirty-first of October this year tells me that you found Mrs Hannafore. Is that correct?’
‘Yes. I suddenly thought that I should go over and see Sheila and take her some of our Halloween cakes.’
‘Ah yes,’ the policeman said reflectively, ‘the witchy ones. My granddaughter brought some home for me, and very delicious they were too, thank you. Now, you always thought Sheila Hannafore a bit of a witch herself, didn’t you, Rosa?’
‘I…er…she wasn’t my favourite person, no.’
‘So why on a dark October night would you suddenly decide to go and see her out of the blue?’
‘She was ill, and I didn’t like the thought of her being there in the Ship on her own. And what exactly are you implying here, DC Clarke?’ Rosa demanded. ‘I was the one who went down those cellar steps, called an ambulance and comforted her while the poor woman was dying.’
‘After you pushed her down them, you mean?’
‘What!’ Rosa jumped up, knocking her empty teacup to the floor as she did so. ‘Get out of here.’ She put her hand to her stomach.
‘You can’t tell me to get out,’ DC Clarke said amid Hot’s barking.
‘Oh yes I can. I’m not under arrest, am I?’
DC Clarke was undeterred. ‘Forensic tests show that the way she landed didn’t constitute that of a normal fall. She could well have been pushed, and as you were the first person on the scene – well, that points to you as a suspect, Rosa.’
‘This is absolutely ridiculous.’ Rosa felt the beginnings of panic. ‘I need to phone Josh.’
‘You can phone who you like, but I’m suggesting a solicitor might be more appropriate.’ Suddenly realising that he was running away with the situation, the detective’s voice softened. ‘Look, Rosa. Come to the station around lunchtime tomorrow. Bring somebody with you if you want to, but we do need to officially interview you. This is a serious matter, my girl. You were the first on the scene and a woman died very soon after.’
CHAPTER 30
‘Josh, no, honestly, you don’t have to fly back, it’s fine. I can see if maybe Jacob or Alec will come with me. I suppose I would be a suspect – if Sheila was pushed, that is. After all, I was at the scene.’
‘No. I’m coming. No way am I having my pregnant wife put under such stress. I need to be there for you.’ Josh’s voice brightened. ‘And on a positive, we can go to the fireworks together.’
‘If I’m not in the slammer,’ Rosa said, and laughed. ‘But I’ve done nothing wrong, so it should be OK. I will just answer their questions honestly and that’s it.’
‘Yes, I can see, too, from their point of view how you could be in the frame though, Rosa.’ Josh sighed in exasperation. ‘Oh, why did you ever have to go and get involved with those bloody Hannafores again? They’ve caused nothing but trouble in our lives. Anyway, I’ve got to rush, I can hopefully get a last-minute flight to Bristol and hire a car and I’ll get to you as soon as I can.’
‘If you’re going to shout at me, I’d rather you didn’t,’ Rosa huffed but Josh had already hung up.
Previously, at times like this she would have reached for a drink, but now she was pregnant she couldn’t even if she wanted to. Brisk walking was as good a substitute as any, she had discovered. She needed to clear her head. Turn her phone off. Be alone for a while. She had done nothing wrong, after all. Josh didn’t need to hurry back, but it would be amazing to see him. And as he said, he would be there for the fireworks – quite literally!
With her warm, woolly hat pulled right down over her ears, she marched towards the beach. She decided that calling Lucas wasn’t a good idea. Surely, he had stuck up for her? Or maybe he had been told not to talk to her? It was obvious to Rosa that what had happened was that Sheila had jumped; maybe the impact would have been different if she had just tripped and fallen.
She would have to tell Lucas the truth of what had happened. It was a case of what would upset him more, his mum trying to take her own life or thinking that Sheila had been pushed. Neither option was very palatable. Then again, it was Rosa’s word against Sheila’s and there had been no love lost between the two of them, as DC Clarke had so ably pointed out.
Rosa walked right to the sea’s edge. It was pitch black beyond the glow from the powerful hand torch she was holding. She was glad that the Christmas lights would soon be on, as Cockleberry Bay had never been graced with street lighting. In fact, it was one of the first things she had noticed when moving here from the busy streets and markets of the East End of London. Here, it was complete darkness and complete silence. At least the beach wall lights would be on tomorrow for the annual fireworks display. Rosa noticed that the white tarpaulin and poles were laid at the edge of the beach wall, ready to put up for the charity food and drink tent in the morning.
Even the moon was shivering behind the November clouds tonight. Rosa breathed in Mother Nature in all her darkened, mysterious glory. She was feeling liberated but also very small, as the crashing waves and biting wind took control of her senses. It was strangely eerie to see both the pub and café in darkness. The Ship Inn had been such a massive hub for the community, attracting locals of all ages and all types. Families, fishermen and singles alike. Since Sheila’s husband had died, she had ably kept it running and the place had only just been refurbished, at considerable cost, a year ago. It was poignant to recall how much life and soul had gone on inside its white-painted walls. If the building itself could talk, it would keep the South Cliffs Gazette in stories for ever more, Rosa reckoned.
It would be sad to see it closed – tomorrow night especially. Although it was at the very same fireworks display last year that Lucas had told Josh that Rosa had been in the pub against his wishes, and Josh had gone mad at her. This was the start of a very troubled period for the pair. But they had come through it stronger, and now, despite it all, they were going to be parents. With all the goings-on, Rosa hadn’t thought much about the new baby’s arrival at all. A mum – she was going to be a mum! She could hardly believe it. She would experience that unconditional
love, the immensity of which was apparently quite overwhelming.
She thought back to the mother-love conveyed in Sheila’s letter. And then, with a sudden jolt, she halted and remembered the beginning of the letter to Lucas. Sheila had said she hoped that she had passed peacefully. If she had intended to take her own life by throwing herself down the cellar steps, no way would that be peaceful. But if it was not planned, why would she then ask Rosa to tell her sons that she had fallen? Maybe somebody did want rid of her, but she was ill anyway, and it would probably only have been a matter of time before she did die. And what on earth could the motive have been?
Making her way back up the beach to the road, Rosa thought back to what Sheila had written about her. That she would always struggle to resist temptation. Cheeky cow. But everything she had written was true. Yes, she did love Josh so much, but with a drink inside her and when she thought that Josh had been cheating, she had been tempted by the handsome plumber and his uninhibited charm. Lucas was her temptation. And if he hadn’t been decent that night last year and taken her home because she was so out of it, goodness knows where she would be now. Certainly not with Josh – or pregnant with his child, for that matter.
Lucas called to the part of her that wanted to carry on having fun, not settle down, not be an adult. She had never felt good enough for anyone, but luckily, now, with some counselling and becoming teetotal, she did value herself. She could see that Josh did love her dearly and that he was in it for the long haul. She was wise enough to acknowledge that there still was a physical attraction with Luke. However, she also understood that if she acted on it, she would never be happy. Lucas was never going to be her happy ending. He had been and still was one of the massive steps she had to take along her path to emotional fulfilment and happiness. Thank goodness she could control her drinking now. Because the destructive part was still within her – and like the veil between the living and the dead on All Hallows Eve, the thin line between fidelity and temptation would be crossed if she had alcohol inside her.
Taking a deep breath and with the waves crashing behind her, she reached the edge of the beach. As she approached the café, she shone her torch in to see the perfectly set red-and-white tablecloths and spooky candles that were still there from Halloween. She moved her torch away, but a light within the café caught her eye. She looked again: maybe it was a clock on one of the ovens, but no, it was like the blueish light from a mobile phone. On seeing it suddenly move and then go black, she firstly let out a little scared scream and then became angry. They only kept a small float in the till overnight, but how dare anyone break in there, to their precious café. She reached for her keys, shone her torch ahead and boldly opened the door. Suddenly the back-kitchen light was switched on – and this time Rosa did scream loudly.
‘Fucking hell, Rosa, you scared the shit out of me.’
‘And you, me. What an earth are you doing here at this time of night? You’re shivering, Nate. What’s going on?’
‘I got thrown out of my place.’
‘I thought you were staying with a mate.’
‘Yeah, umm…well, she was kind of more than a mate and she caught me with Mad Donna from the bookmakers so she’s an ex-whatever she was now.’
‘Oh, Nate!’
‘And I thought if I hooked up with her – Mad Donna, that is – then she might understand and give me a little loan for my gambling debt, but she didn’t, so here I am. Cold and bloody skint. And, as I had the café keys, it kind of made sense to come here.’
More lies, Rosa noted. He had clearly said that he was staying with a friend and not a lover before. She also noticed the rolled-up sleeping bag on the floor and the headphones draped around his neck that were belting out that tinny noise they make when they are not in someone’s ears.
‘What’s that you are listening to?’
Nate put one of the headphone buds to Rosa’s ear. ‘James Arthur. I bloody love this track. It’s sic. I’ve been playing it non-stop since its release.’
A shiver went through Rosa, and it wasn’t just because she was cold. ‘So, when did you move out of the pub then?’
‘You know when – I told you. There are rumours circling that old Ma Hannafore jumped, aren’t there, down those steep old steps?’
‘Nate, you should have learned by now not to pay any attention to gossip.’ Rosa’s loyalty to Sheila surprised her, or maybe it was Luke she was protecting. ‘So, where are you going to sleep tonight?’
‘If you don’t mind, I was hoping I could stay here. I wasn’t going to take the piss out of you and Sara and put the heating on or anything. And look at the bonus: I’ll be here to open up first thing for you.’ Nate smiled that familiar smile.
‘Nate, this may sound weird, but would I have met you somewhere before?’
‘I can’t see how. I’ve only stepped over the Devon border a couple of times.’
‘You managed to escape the Devonian accent then?’ Rosa queried.
‘Er, yeah. My old man, he sent me to public school. They beat it out of me.’
Rosa’s compassion took over her common sense. ‘Look, Nate, I would say come and stay at mine, but Josh is on his way home, as I’ve got to go to the police station tomorrow, and it would take too much explaining.’
‘I’m fine here, but what’s this about the police? What have you done, you naughty girl?’
‘They don’t think it was an accident, the whole Sheila thing.’
‘Shut the fuck up!’ Nate exclaimed. ‘What do they think then?’
‘I don’t want to talk about it. I have to say it does look a bit suspicious that I was the one who found her.’
‘Rosa, go on, tell me more. Tell me everything.’
Rosa suddenly had a feeling of nausea go through her and went running to the toilet. She only just got there in time and came out white as a sheet.
‘Jesus, I thought it was called morning sickness,’ she said weakly, ‘not any-time-of-the-bloody-day-or-night sickness.’
Nate came forward to hug her awkwardly. ‘You’re pregnant! That’s so amazing, Rosa. Hey – I’m so made up for you. And you can’t be getting stressed now with a little baby on board.’
‘Please don’t say a word, will you, Nate? I want to tell everyone close to me before my news does the rounds of the Cockleberry Bay gossips.’
‘Mum’s the word, so to speak.’ Nate put a finger to his lips. ‘Seriously though, about this police thing – have you got a brief? You can tell them No Comment, you know.’ He sighed. ‘You’ve done a lot for me, Rosa, and I’d hate it if you got into any trouble.’
‘And you’ve got far too much experience in all this by the sound of you.’ Rosa shook her curls at him and headed out to the big storeroom at the back. ‘Here.’ She brought through an old Lilo that needed blowing up and a beach towel from one of the cupboards. ‘Make yourself as comfortable as you can, put the heating on, help yourself to food and I’ll tell Sara to have a lie-in and come down at eight tomorrow so you can open up.’
Nate nodded. ‘You can trust me, I promise.’
‘And if I’m not locked up in a police cell tomorrow night, we need to get you sorted out with somewhere to live.’
Rosa put her phone torch on and headed out into the dank November night. With a fake smile, Nate waved to her – then, looking across to the black silhouette of the Ship Inn, he slammed the table with his fist.
CHAPTER 31
Mary enjoyed her daily morning ritual of putting the radio on to listen to the local news. Sitting down at the kitchen table with a large mug of milky coffee and two pieces of wholemeal toast – lightly done, with a thick layer of real butter and chunky marmalade – she let out a comfortable sigh, despite her chest feeling tighter than usual. Sensing that fireworks night was almost upon them, even Merlin was happy just to be at home, and was purring loudly in Queenie’s old chair by the crackling open fire.
Their peace was broken by a call from Rosa. ‘Mother, it’s me. I thought I’d better
let you know in case anyone else does that I’ll be going to the police station later today. They want to interview me about Sheila.’
‘Oh, OK duck. Be honest, won’t you? About everything.’
‘Yes, of course. Josh is flying back to Bristol so he can come with me too. He should have landed by now.’
A feeling of dread rushed through Mary, causing her to shiver. ‘He’s coming back? Before the fireworks? What’s going on, Rosa? This doesn’t sound right to me. You can tell me anything, you know that.’
‘It’s fine, Mum. Look, I’ve got to go. I’ll pop in and see you later.’ Rosa paused. ‘Saying that, I haven’t heard from Josh yet. I can’t believe he didn’t even let me know which flight he was on. I just trusted him when he said he’d be able to get here on time.’
When she’d said goodbye, Mary reached for the inhaler in her apron pocket. Her chest was as tight as a drum by now and she couldn’t seem to get the air into her lungs. She tried to force the vision of what she had seen the other day out of her head, but it was stuck there: the snow, a plane skidding across the runway. Josh.
Wheezing heavily, she turned to Merlin. ‘I told her to tell him to come back after the fireworks.’ The kitchen light flicked on and off. A spark shot out of the fire onto the black stone hearth.
The South Cliffs News reporter carried on doing his job. ‘We’ve just had some breaking news in from the east coast of America.’ Mary stopped mid-mouthful. ‘Due to the extreme weather conditions at JFK airport in New York…’ Holding her piece of toast static in the air then noisily coughing, she managed to say, ‘No, no, this can’t be happening – not to our Josh.’ She repeated, ‘I told her – I warned her…’ Then, coughing uncontrollably, she started gasping for breath.
