Cairstine didn’t dare agree or disagree, so she opted to remain silent. The silence seemed to drag on, and Cairstine wasn’t sure if the queen was still thinking about her situation or grown bored with the conversation. She jumped when the queen spoke again.
“I will give you these choices, Cairstine. Pick one, and I will write to your father. Crail Priory is on the coast of the North Sea, close to St. Andrews. It’s aboot three days' ride from here. Elcho Priory is near Scone. It’s devoted to the Virgin Mother and is a Cistercian order.”
The queen sighed when Cairstine shivered at the mention of one of the most austere monastic orders. Cairstine knew she couldn’t have everything, but the rigidity of the lifestyle terrified her. She didn’t want to wear a hair shirt for the rest of her life, which would be the case at Elcho or Inchcailleoch Priories. Queen Elizabeth cleared her throat before continuing.
“You do realize most of the convents are Cistercians. There is little chance of escaping that. There is Sciennes Priory near Edinburgh; it is only two days' ride from here and run by Franciscan nuns. Manuel Nunnery in Linlithgow is the closest to Stirling and is a day's ride away. Aberdeen Nunnery is the closest to your family. It’s four days’ ride from the coast to Freuchie.”
“Your Grace, I fear that is too close to my father. He could be there before I arrive since it would take me nearly a sennight to travel there.”
“Do you believe your father would ignore my order?”
“No,” Cairstine was quick to shake her head. “He would never disobey you. But he might try to convince me to forsake my plan. I don’t want to be forced to admit to my father why I can’t marry. He will never believe it wasn’t my fault. He’ll blame me. He might not marry me off, but—” Cairstine willed herself to speak even as her voice threatened to disobey. “I fear what he might do.” She had long suspected her father might do worse than disown her if he learned the secret from her past. She feared her shame would be the one thing that could infuriate her father beyond control, and she feared for her life. He would never accept that she wasn’t to blame.
“You’re afraid of your father.” It wasn’t a question. When Cairstine nodded, the queen pinched between her eyebrows, the smallest admission of how troubled she was by Cairstine’s admission. She quickly recovered, straightening her spine. “If I sent you to Manuel Nunnery, you could be there in a day if you set off at daylight. It’s far enough away that no one will question where you went but close enough if ever you should need to seek shelter and my aid.”
“Thank you, Your Grace. I am forever indebted to you for your mercy.” Cairstine clasped her hands together to keep from grabbing the queen’s.
“We shall see whether you believe it is merciful once they strip you of your worldly goods,” Queen Elizabeth mused. Her eyes narrowed, as if she considered something she was unwilling to share with Cairstine. The queen was a shrewd woman, and Cairstine suspected whatever decree the queen made, there would be a rationale Cairstine wouldn’t initially understand. “How many guards have you?”
“Four, Your Grace.”
“I shall send you to Dundee Priory, since it’s run by Franciscans.” The queen decreed. It was a convent Queen Elizabeth hadn’t mentioned a moment ago when she rattled off several others. The announcement came as a surprise to Cairstine, who, only a moment ago, thought she was going south to Linlithgow instead of north to Dundee. Cairstine realized the monarch never intended to give her a choice, and Manuel Nunnery was never a real consideration. “That isn’t enough guards. The roads between Stirling and Dundee are treacherous. I will have men from my personal guard escort you.” When Cairstine made to rise, the queen held up a staying hand. “I will support you on one condition. You will travel for a visit during which you will speak to the abbess, and you must confess your true reason for joining the order. If she accepts and you believe you could be content there, then I will issue my order to your father, and you may stay. But you must be honest.”
“I will. I doubt I will be the first woman to show up on her doorstep for the same reason.” Cairstine murmured.
“I doubt you are.” The queen nodded. “You leave in the morn.” Queen Elizabeth turned her head away, and Cairstine knew she had been dismissed. She backed away until she reached the door of the chamber and eased her way out.
Chapter Seven
Cairstine loved her horse, but she was tired of seeing her. She stood in the bailey as she waited for a stable boy to bring Twinkle out. Voices carried from the stables, and she noticed Eoin and Ewan Gordon preparing to mount with Allyson and Laird Andrew Gordon. She tried to keep from staring, but her eyes had a mind of their own and settled on Eoin. Even from a distance, she could see his muscular frame moving with grace as he hauled his saddle over his massive stallion’s back. Cairstine recalled what it had felt like to sit upon the beast’s back with Eoin’s arms around her. She wished the Gordons would hurry and leave since inevitably, she would take the same route as they were, Huntly Castle being further north than Dundee but in the same direction. She breathed a sigh of relief when the stable boy led Twinkle to her, and the mare blocked Cairstine’s view.
Eoin noticed Cairstine enter the bailey the moment she stepped through the keep’s door. It was as if he had a sixth sense for the woman ever since their brief conversation on the terrace. While he hadn’t known the men were Grant guards, he’d been certain it was Cairstine he’d spotted across the meadow the previous day. Unreasonable panic filled him as he trotted in their direction, then galloped when he thought she was being abducted. He would have come to any woman’s rescue, but Cairstine brought out a protective urge that he didn’t recognize. He’d worried about his sister-by-marriage when English reivers captured her as she attempted to escape marrying his brother, but the emotion paled compared to what he felt in the moment as he watched Bram slap Cairstine’s horse’s rump. He now understood how Ewan must have felt about Allyson. He knew it was irrational to react so viscerally to a woman who he barely knew and wasn’t interested in marrying. But he’d intuited Ewan felt the same way even when his twin denied any interest in marrying Allyson.
“Go and talk to her,” Ewan murmured by his shoulder. “You won’t stop thinking aboot her until you know where she’s going. It’s obvious it isn’t just for a ride through the meadow.” Ewan nudged Eoin and offered an encouraging smile. Eoin glanced at Allyson and his father before nodding. He handed his horse’s reins to a stable hand and made his way to Cairstine.
“Traveling again so soon?” Eoin said as he approached, and he chuckled when Cairstine jumped. He was confident she’d seen him already, even if she pretended not to.
“Aye.” Cairstine nodded as she continued to check Twinkle’s saddle then bridle.
“Are you headed back to Freuchie already? I thought you had several more sennights to search for a husband.” A thought crossed Eoin’s mind that gave him an inexplicable pain in his stomach. “Or have you already found one?”
Cairstine cast him a withering glance as she checked the fastenings to her satchel. “Hardly. You know that.”
“Then where are you going, lass?”
“You have a habit of being far too nosy. God fashioned hell for the inquisitive, ye ken.” Cairstine bit her tongue as her Highland burr slipped with the ancient proverb.
“If I’m headed to Hell, it’s because my inquisitiveness wasn’t of the nosy sort,” Eoin grinned, but morphed into a deep laugh when he held up his hands. “I already know. I’m despicable.”
Cairstine narrowed her eyes but struggled not to return his smile, his laugh infectious. “Incorrigible, I suppose.”
“I am improving in your estimation,” Eoin offered her a courtly bow.
“Enough of that. Do that at home, and your men will think you’ve gone soft. You’re no courtier, and you look ridiculous pretending to be one.” Cairstine remonstrated, but there was no bite to her words. She couldn’t suppress her own laugh at the stricken look on Eoin’s face. “Cease. I relent. I’m on
my way to Dundee.”
“Dundee? As in the priory? So you were able to get the queen to take up your mantle.”
“I was. She has agreed to inform my father that she supports my choice. I should be in a novice’s gown in sennights’ time.”
Eoin couldn’t believe his ears. It bothered him more than he understood to learn Cairstine was moving forward with her plan to enter a nunnery. He felt off-kilter as he looked at the vibrant young woman; he was learning there was far more to her than met the eye. He looked away when movement caught his attention. Members of the queen’s guard entered the bailey, surrounding the monarch. He bowed with proper deference this time as Cairstine curtsied.
“Lady Cairstine, Eoin Gordon,” Queen Elizabeth greeted them. “I wasn’t aware the Gordons were riding out this morn. Had I known I would have saved my guards the time of preparing their horses. I suppose I shall go for a ride to make it worth their effort. Lady Cairstine, the Gordons will serve as your escort. God be with you.” The queen swept past them, leaving no opportunity for anyone to disagree.
Eoin and Cairstine stood staring at one another, both at a loss for words. Eoin recovered sooner. “How many guards do you have? Is it just the four I saw yesterday?”
“Yes. The queen feared that was too few, so she was going to send some of her men with us.”
“She’s right. Four and your maid aren’t nearly enough to protect you.” Eoin’s face hardened as he registered Cairstine’s intention to refuse. “Even if the queen hadn’t decreed it, common sense says you should. Your guardsman–Bram, if I remember correctly–will agree with me. Cairstine, you’re headed to a convent. This isn’t time for you to be prideful.”
“I don’t want to be an inconvenience. I fear I’ll slow you down.”
“Don’t add lying to your list of sins. Pride is bad enough. I saw you ride yesterday, and I know you made good time traveling to and from Freuchie. You’re an experienced rider. You won’t slow us down. Besides, I’m sure Allyson wouldn’t mind the company of another woman.”
Cairstine’s eyes widened as she peeked in Allyson’s direction. “Your sister-by-marriage doesn’t care for me, and rightly so. I have a reputation for being mean spirited.”
“But you’re not. Do you really need to preserve it now?”
“She won’t believe I’m genuine. She’ll assume I’m trying to manipulate you.”
“Give Allyson more credit than that. She had her own reputation to reform. You know everyone believed her a notorious flirt, but there was more to it than that. Everyone has their reasons for why they act as they do.”
“And why are you and Ewan known for being womanizers? And don’t tell me it’s because you are. I already know that, but if your mother was so devout, why did you choose gluttony and lust when you could have chosen the virtues?”
Eoin shrugged. “You forgot vainglory. We aren’t hard on the eyes, apparently, and few women refuse us. Before Ewan married, we only took what was freely offered since neither of us was pledged to someone. Our parents’ marriage was not an ideal model, so we lived as bachelors are wont to do, unworried aboot what a future bride might think.”
Cairstine was unprepared for Eoin’s honest assessment of his own character. She found it oddly refreshing after the smoke and mirrors that were part of daily life at court. “How can I be sure Allyson won’t hold my past against me?”
“Don’t say aught that’s mean, and don’t flirt with Ewan.” Cairstine noticed a hardness enter Eoin’s eyes as he warned her away from his brother.
“I’ve never flirted with him.” Her hushed tone barely reached Eoin, but his breathing eased to know the beautiful young woman before him wasn’t interested in his brother. “Eoin, I assumed you and Ewan told each other everything. But if I’m to travel with you, then I suppose I should reassure you. I’ve never kissed Ewan. Only you.”
Cairstine’s cheeks heated, and she couldn’t meet Eoin’s eyes. Her past choices felt more like indiscretions since she was about to embark on a lifetime of prayer and self-denial. Eoin eased her hand onto his arm and led her toward the other Gordons.
“Father, Ewan, Allyson, we have a slight change of plans. Lady Cairstine is traveling to Dundee, and the queen suggested she join us since it’s along the way to Huntly.”
Andrew and Ewan nodded, but Allyson was slower to accept the news. She and Cairstine stood, eyes locked upon one another until they both nodded. Eoin didn’t understand what passed between them, but he sensed it was some sort of truce.
“It will be nice to have another woman on the journey,” Allyson offered. “I get bored listening to them discussing swords and training. It gets auld quickly.”
“And I shall appreciate having someone else to speak to other than my maid, who is sure to remind me often of how little she cares to ride. Fortunately for us, her brother is one of my guards. He’ll keep her quiet since we ride with people outside our clan.” Cairstine paused for a moment. “On second thought, if I travel with you, I have no need for a maid.” She grinned, but she was nervous that Allyson wouldn’t return the sentiment. She breathed easier when Allyson did.
“When we get beyond the city, I say we race. Ewan will have my hide, but he hasn’t allowed me to go for a proper gallop since we returned here from Redheugh. He worries like an auld woman, and it makes life dull,” Allyson leaned toward Cairstine to conspire. “And I suspect you are not at all what you seem. Eoin is one of the best judges of character I know, and he has accepted you. Whatever your reasons are for how you acted, I need not know.”
“Thank you, Lady Allyson. That means a great deal to me.”
“Just Allyson. We will become fast friends or heated enemies after a sennight traveling together. I would prefer we start out as the former.”
“Agreed. And it’s Cairstine.”
The women smiled before Eoin escorted Cairstine back to her horse and helped her mount. Cairstine realized much of her trepidation at beginning a new phase eased with the Gordons’ company. They were a distraction from fearing the unknown. She and Allyson spurred their horses into a gallop as soon as they reached the city limits, much to the dismay of the twins and the humor of Laird Gordon.
Chapter Eight
Eoin watched Cairstine as she rode beside Allyson. His heart had flown into his throat when the two women took off, barreling along the road outside of Stirling. They’d egged each other on as they both took jumps that made even Eoin’s stomach flip. They sprinted down hills, making Eoin fear they would fly over their horses’ heads. He could hear his father’s laughter fading behind him as he and Ewan chased the daredevil women. Allyson and Cairstine reined in as they waited for the twins to catch up. Allyson yelped when Ewan pulled her off her horse and marched them into the treeline. Eoin was only slightly less forceful when he lifted Cairstine down.
“Don’t. Don’t say aught, Cairrie. I don’t want to hear it,” Eoin pulled Cairstine along behind him as he found their own spot within the trees. “What the devil were you thinking?” He demanded once they were out of earshot of his brother, and his father and guardsmen who approached.
“Allyson and I were having a little fun. We didn’t do aught wrong. You’re overreacting, Eoin.”
“Overreacting?” Eoin barked. He pulled Cairstine into his arms, his mouth crashing down onto hers. Stunned, Cairstine froze, but the feel of Eoin’s muscular body pressed against hers made her relax. She opened to him and moaned as his tongue swept inside her mouth. The feel was decadent as his hands cupped her jaw. When her arms slipped around his neck, he ran his hands over her back and ribs. To Cairstine, it felt more like he was checking her for injury than to seduce her. Their kiss grew more heated when Eoin’s search convinced him that Cairstine hadn’t harmed herself during her mad dash. He backed them toward a tree, and when Cairstine’s back pressed against it, his hands slid to her backside, gripping it and pulling her against his arousal. He felt the moment Cairstine panicked.
Cairstine was lost in a world comprised
of only Eoin and her. The feel of his kiss was drugging her as his hands gently explored her, and she sensed it was worry that drove him to touch her. But when his hardened length pressed against her mons, the moment of need and lust transformed into uncontrollable fear. She pushed against Eoin’s chest and fought to break free. She stumbled at how quickly Eoin released her and stepped away. He caught her elbows, but she jerked away.
“Cairrie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you. I’m sorry.”
The haze cleared from her mind, and she found fear of a different sort in Eoin’s eyes. He feared that he’d hurt her, traumatized her, and she had a moment of regret for her visceral reaction.
“It’s all right, Eoin. I—I—it was my turn to overreact,” she finished lamely.
“I don’t know what came over me,” Eoin shook his head before running his hand through his hair. “You terrified me when you raced Allyson, and I was so relieved that you were safe. I—I—” It was his turn to stutter. He didn’t have an explanation for why he’d kissed her. It was an overpowering need that he’d given into. And his lack of restraint ruined the moment.
“I’ve ridden like that most of my life. It drives Bram to drink, or so he says, but he’s used to it now. Perhaps I should have warned you before we took off. I figured you and Ewan already knew Allyson could ride like that, but—” Cairstine leaned around Eoin to peer into the distance. Allyson and Ewan were barely visible, but she could tell they were locked in their own passionate embrace. “You had no way of knowing that I ride like that. Even yesterday’s chase wasn’t that pell-mell. A warning would have been the courteous option.”
“Or not riding like you intend to break your neck might be better.” Between the breeze and his hands running through it, Eoin’s hair stuck out in various directions. Cairstine giggled as she reached out to flatten it. The sound of her laughter soothed Eoin’s frazzled nerves before he tucked hair behind her ears.
A Rake at the Highland Court: The Highland Ladies Book Four Page 5
