Davina noticed Eoin’s and Cairstine’s attention was focused on the hearth, so she looked too. Her eyes narrowed as she turned to look at Cairstine, then Eoin. He noticed the plate he’d set aside in case one of them grew hungry. He knew that would be noticed soon too.
“It’s a nice play for a midnight snack, but,” Eoin shrugged as he watched Cairstine’s face flush. Eoin came to stand beside Cairstine and flashed Davina a look of warning before lifting his chin toward the women setting up the bath and table for the couple to break their fast. Davina hung back as the servants left. Eoin chose a preemptive approach. “I came to Freuchie to court Cairstine and to secure a betrothal. It was impetuous of us to handfast, but I won’t rush Cairrie.”
Davina cast a speculative look at Cairstine, who couldn’t meet her mother’s eyes. The morning after her supposed marriage was as bad as she feared; she just didn’t have an irate groom. Instead, she had no proof of her maidenhead having been in place when they retired for the night, and Eoin all but announced that he hadn’t bedded her.
“You’re a lucky young woman, mo ghruagach,” was all Davina said before she moved to the door. She met Eoin’s gaze and mouthed “thank you” before closing the door behind her.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Eoin had returned to the hell from the night prior. Cairstine was in the bath, and he was cloistered away on the bed. He’d snatched a linen square from the stack while Cairstine pulled fresh clothing from her chest, setting them on the stool. As Cairstine scrubbed herself in the tub, Eoin eased his painfully hard rod. He clamped his lips shut and ground his teeth as his release swept through him. He breathed easier, but he suspected he would be taking himself in hand often now that he shared a chamber with Cairstine but couldn’t touch her. At least not more than he had the night before.
Eoin heard a splash and a yelp of pain. He was off the bed and around the screen before considering what he would glimpse. He froze as he caught sight of Cairstine’s shapely legs hanging over the side, her breasts bobbing at the surface as she floundered initially trying to get out of the tub then to cover herself when she spotted Eoin standing, gaping at her.
“I heard you fall,” Eoin babbled before he came to his senses. He grabbed a drying linen, snapping it open, but turning his head away as he held it out for Cairstine. Cairstine muttered a curse as she struggled to pull her legs back into the tub since winching herself out hadn’t worked.
“I can’t get out of the bluidy thing,” Cairstine grumbled. She blew out a frustrated puff. “I need help. Please.” She tacked on the last word as an afterthought.
Eoin stepped closer and closed his eyes. He slung the drying linen over his shoulder and stuck his hands out, hoping Cairstine would take them, and he could pull her out.
“That isn’t going to work, Eo, unless you intend to drag me over the side.” Cairstine struggled not to laugh at how ridiculous Eoin appeared while trying to be gallant. Eoin opened his eyes, casting a sideways glance at Cairstine and had to admit she was right. Unless he wanted to drag her thighs and backside over the wooden lip, he would have to lift her out. He nodded and stepped to the edge of the tub.
Eoin leaned forward and grasped Cairstine around the ribs, but they both froze as soon as he touched her. He had a splendid view of her breasts all the way to the thatch of hair at the juncture of her thighs. He squeezed his eyes shut, ashamed that he was still gawking. His knees nearly gave out when Cairstine lifted one of his hands to her breasts and arched her back. His mouth went dry as he looked at Cairstine with her head thrown back, the cords in her neck straining as she moaned. His hand reflexively squeezed as he leaned further forward to kiss her neck. He drew his tongue from her jaw to the dip of her collarbone before kissing his way back up. She turned her head to meet his kiss, and her arms around his neck and shoulder drew him even closer. If he hadn’t been so tall, he would have toppled into the bath with her. His mind jumped to the image of Cairstine straddling him as they made love in a bath. He considered the tub at Huntly, which had purposely been designed to accommodate Andrew’s, Ewan’s, and Eoin’s exceptional height. He didn’t doubt there would be room for them both.
“I needed you to touch me,” Cairstine whispered. “I didn’t fall on purpose, but the way you looked at me. I’ve never felt more wanted, more beautiful.”
“Cairstine, there’s naught I want more than to make love to you, but I promised I would never force you. I won’t force you to consummate this handfast and make this a marriage, and I won’t force you to accept me into your bed. But I can bring you pleasure in ways other than I’ve shown you without coupling.”
Cairstine nodded, and Eoin snatched the drying cloth from his shoulder and lifted her from the bath. He pulled her legs around his waist as he wrapped her in the towel. Cairstine felt the tip of his sword press against her sheath through his plaid. She waited for the panic, but an aching need took its place. Eoin rubbed her back dry, running the towel over her hair and wringing it out. He carried her to the bed, where he laid her as he dried her arms and legs before climbing beside her.
“I have never seen aught as magnificent as I see now,” Eoin confessed before returning to nuzzling her neck. He ran his palm over her belly, forcing away the image of it swelling with his child. He swept it up to her breasts, kneading them both before shifting to lick one darted nipple. Cairstine gasped, but didn’t shy away. Eoin swirled his tongue around the darkened skin before taking her nipple into his mouth. Cairstine moaned, her hand clenching a handful of his hair. She gazed into the blue orbs that watched, reading her every reaction. He suckled harder before switching to the neglected side. As he alternated breasts, his hand once again traveled over her belly until she shivered and rocked her hips. He drew his fingers along her slit before pressing one inside.
“Eoin,” Cairstine breathed.
“What do you want, mo leannan?”
“I don’t know. What you did before, the way you’ve touched me. Your fingers inside me.”
Eoin thrust two fingers inside her, stilling when he was certain he reached a barrier. His brow furrowed as he glanced at Cairstine, but her eyes were closed. He’d questioned how she could be a maiden the first time his fingers worked her core, but he’d been cautious the second time, and eagerness had ended their third tryst before he’d gotten a chance to touch her. Now he was certain what he felt. He opened his mouth to tell Cairstine but had second thoughts.
Even if I tell her, even if she believes me, that still doesn’t get us past her fear. Her fear doesn’t come from anticipating the pain of her maidenhead ripping. She believes she’s already experienced that, but it comes from not being in control and feeling trapped while coupling.
Eoin continued to thrust his fingers into her as he worked her pleasure button. As she writhed, Eoin felt her inner muscles tighten. He knew she was close, and he tugged gently on her nipple with his teeth, watching her as she came apart. He slid down the bed and moved between her legs. When he blew cool air on her sensitive skin, she raised her head to see what he was about. Eoin draped her legs over his shoulders and lifted her hips to his hungry mouth.
“What are—” Cairstine’s question ended in a moan as she discovered what Eoin was doing. The sensation of his tongue lapping at her core was unlike anything she could describe. She couldn’t take her eyes off the erotic image of Eoin between her legs as the most decadent feeling swept over her. She didn’t want him to stop, her rocking hips telling him as much. He used his teeth to graze her nub before sucking it, using his fingers to fill her sheath as his mouth worked the bundle of nerves.
Eoin was drunk off the heady feeling of bringing Cairstine to climax a second time. As her neck and cheeks flushed, her nipples tightened even more. He kissed the inside of each thigh before kissing his way over her belly to each breast before kissing her neck. He was careful not to let his body touch hers as he moved toward the head of the bed. He levered himself to lie beside her as her eyes drooped, and her breath came in short pants. E
oin brushed the hair off Cairstine’s shoulders before pressing a kiss to her forehead. His hand caressed her side down to her hip and over her bottom before repeating the pattern over and over.
“I think,” Cairstine looked up at Eoin. “I think if I see it before I try to touch it, I won’t be so scared.”
It. Not me. It. Eoin brushed away the hurt, knowing she didn’t mean to make him sound like an object rather than a person. To her, it was an “it,” and “it” frightened her. He nodded and reached for where the plaid was tucked in at his waist.
“Carrie, I won’t touch you. But if you want to touch me, go ahead. If you don’t, you won’t insult me. Take your time.” Even if I expire.
“Thank you,” Cairstine whispered as Eoin pulled the plaid apart and revealed himself to her. Cairstine didn’t know what to think as she looked at Eoin’s cock. It was longer and wider than she remembered from the brief moment she’d touched him. The taught skin looked as smooth as she recalled how it felt. The rounded head shone with a dribble of creamy liquid at the tip. She wondered for a moment if he would taste as good to her as she seemed to taste to Eoin. She imagined taking him in her mouth, and the notion was more appealing that she expected. She saw the round sack that hung between his legs, and it tempted her to cup it. But after her disastrous first attempt, she kept her hands to herself, instead enjoying her chance to examine what had once been a source of terror.
Eoin observed Cairstine as she surveyed what he’d kept hidden each time he was near her or thought about her. She appeared fascinated and not the least intimidated, perhaps more cautious than anything else. But when she licked her lips, Eoin was certain he would expire. He longed for her to take him in her hand, to ease the need that coursed through him. The physical need for release and the emotional need to share this with her.
“Cairstine,” he began, but it died in his throat with a strangled sound taking place of words as she ran her fingertip over the head of his cock. She traced her finger down his length and to his bollocks, watching his rod as her finger ran south but gazing into his eyes as it returned north.
“Cairstine,” Eoin tried again, but he felt his release fighting his restraint. He rolled from the bed, snatching the drying linen before taking a few quick steps to the window, his hand wrapped around his length, stroking until he spilled his seed into the towel. His head fell back, and Cairstine watched the muscles bunch in his backside and across his back as they flexed, his hips thrusting forward. She could see one arm moving, and she understood he stroked himself, and she somehow felt deprived. Her attention returned to his backside and marveled at how it appeared hewn out of stone. Her hands itched to touch him. She climbed off the bed, seeing no point in being embarrassed walking around naked since he’d already seen the most intimate parts of her. She went to stand behind him, her arms sliding around his waist as her cheek rested against his back. His hand covered both of hers, and they stood together until they both felt the need for more.
Eoin turned and pulled Cairstine against him as their mouths fused together, passion boiling to the surface once more. He lifted her, and just as she had the last time he picked her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist. Except this time, this were nothing separating the press of his sword against her sheath. Cairstine’s core clenched with a need to get closer, to feel Eoin inside her. She never dreamed her body could react with such hunger for a man. She had assumed she was damaged beyond repair, but she prayed she’d moved beyond that for the sake of a future with Eoin. He carried her to the edge of the bed and lowered her. She leaned back, anticipating the feel of his body over hers without the same sense of dread that usually overtook her. Her legs fell wide as his sword brushed against her sheath once again. Cairstine was certain he would join their bodies, but at the last minute, Eoin jerked away.
“I’m sorry,” Eoin murmured as he stepped back further, shame and horror etched across his face. He scanned the chamber until he found the leine he’d thrown on the floor earlier and put it back on. He yanked his plaid from the bed before striding across the room to gather his sword and belt. He paused at the door. “I’ll never do that again. I promise.”
Eoin slipped from the chamber, leaving behind a devastated Cairstine, confused and rejected.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Eoin leaned against the door, his heart racing after coming so close to coupling with Cairstine. Need and want nearly overshadowed honor. He felt ashamed for doing the very thing he’d sworn not to do. She might have been willing with her mind clouded with lust, but when the haze settled, she would regret it. Or God forbid, she panicked while they joined their bodies. If they consummated their phony handfast, it would become real, and it would make it more difficult to dissolve. He tried to believe he would have pulled out in time if he had gone through with it, but he wasn’t certain. He would have risked getting Cairstine with child. All of this without her saying she wanted any of it.
Eoin replayed his last words to Cairstine and groaned as he realized how insensitive and hurtful they would sound when she didn’t know what he was thinking. He couldn’t leave things with her like that, and he couldn’t appear belowstairs without her. No one expected them yet, and he didn’t want anyone to tease her if he left her in their chamber. He could imagine the inappropriate comments about being worn out and needing more sleep. He inhaled and turn around, pushing the door open. His heart broke when he found a stunned Cairstine with tears running down her cheeks. He felt like an arse of the highest degree. He dumped his belt and plaid on the floor, realizing he’d forgotten his boots, before leaning his sword against the foot of the bed.
“Go away,” Cairstine whispered as she wiped away her tears, turning her head away from him.
“Not until I’ve explained what I meant. My words sounded horrible to my own ears, and they didn’t convey what I intended.”
“I don’t care. Get out, Eoin. Leave me alone.”
“Let me speak my piece, and if you want me to leave this chamber or this keep, I will.”
Cairstine’s head whipped back around. “Of course I don’t want you to leave this keep.”
Eoin raised his chin. “Because you still need me for the ruse.”
“Yes—” Eoin backed away before Cairstine could continue. Cairstine bounced off the bed and stepped before him, jabbing a finger into his chest. “Oh, no, you don’t. You don’t get to demand I listen to you when you make a muck of things and then not be willing to hear me out. Yes, I still need you for this. But I don’t want you to leave because I don’t want you to leave.”
Cairstine shook her head, knowing she only made sense to herself. Eoin tilted her chin up, searching her eyes. Cairstine realized he must have found what he was looking for because he cupped her cheek. “Do you mean you don’t want me to leave because it’s me? Me, Eoin, the mon, not the phony betrothed who you want to stay?”
“Yes. That’s exactly what I mean,” Cairstine wept. “But I don’t think you want to be here. I think you regret ever laying eyes on me.”
“I don’t. Cairstine, I was aboot to do the one thing I swore I would never do. I was aboot to take advantage of you. You’ve said you don’t want to couple with a mon, and you’ve said you don’t want to marry. I was aboot to take that away from you. I’m ashamed. That’s what I meant by I’ll never do that again. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Hurt me? I’m more hurt you walked out.”
“But—”
“Eoin, I understood what was happening.”
“But do you understand that it will be much harder to break things off if we consummate what isn’t even a real handfast. I’d be making you my mistress, and I won’t do that.”
Cairstine pulled her lips in as she considered what to say next. It was obvious neither of them was ready to make a commitment when neither was certain how the other felt. She thought about what else Eoin said beyond repudiating the fake handfast.
“I understood what we were doing, Eoin. And I wasn’t scared. I wasn�
�t ready to run for the hills. I know you think you were forcing me—well—without forcing me, but you weren’t. You weren’t taking my choices from me. I thought you were giving them to me.”
Eoin ran his hand through his hair and scrubbed his face. He knew they were at a stalemate. He looked around the chamber, knowing it would be a struggle not to have a repeat of what just happened. They were attracted to one another and sharing a chamber would make it difficult to resist the pull. But he couldn’t avoid Cairstine without raising suspicion among her clan. He suspected Davina and Edward had separate chambers, so he considered following their lead, but then he recalled his belongings. A maid brought to Cairstine’s chamber the few belongings he had. If they only expected him to spend his wedding night in Cairstine’s chamber, they wouldn’t have moved his satchel from the chamber Davina assigned him.
“Cairrie, you were right when you said we can’t keep doing this. It’s too hard. There isn’t much choice but for me to share this chamber with you. I’ll remain on my side of the chamber, and I’ll give you privacy while you bathe.”
“And if I get stuck again?” Cairstine tried to lighten the mood.
“Have you done that before?”
“Well, no.”
“Then I shalln’t have to worry.” Eoin smiled for the first time since he returned to the chamber. “I’ll pleat my plaid while you dress, then we’ll go belowstairs. If we stay here much longer, people will talk. I don’t want anyone to say something rude to you. I don’t have the patience for it today.”
Cairstine nodded before grabbing her clothes and ducking behind the screen. Eoin spread his plaid on the bed and quickly pleated it before wrapping it around his waist and securing the extra length with the brooch he kept in his sporran at night.
A Rake at the Highland Court: The Highland Ladies Book Four Page 20
