by S. J. Higbee
Which was Vrox’s outraged thought as he roared, Begone Cub! You are not fit to be here, for your queen did not regard you as worthy.
I was suddenly assaulted by the memory of Mother’s reddened, furious face screaming I hate you – a memory Vrox suddenly forced on me so hard, it hurt.
I staggered, glad for the support of Felina’s arms as I reeled in shock. The mantivore was right – she’d loathed me. And now she was dead. I can’t deny that one of the reasons I took on the task of Overlording Arcadia, was that I’d hoped to make Mother proud. What with one thing and another, I hadn’t got around to summoning her to Gloriosa, as I’d wanted to wait until I had a court of trusted supporters to demonstrate that I truly was In Charge. And now that would never happen…
Holding tightly onto Felina’s arm, I blinked, knowing that if I wept, these alien silvered eyes of mine would burn. Besides, I’d fry in the Arids before I’d let that scaly monster see me shed tears over his rejection.
YOU GAVE ME YOUR WORD YOU WOULD LOOK AFTER HER. THAT YOU WOULDN’T HARM HER. I AM SADDENED AT YOUR FAILURE TO KEEP YOUR OATH, CHILD. Felina’s Sending cracked across my mind, freighted with queenly disappointment and anger.
I swallowed bile at the back of my throat, distantly relieved that I wasn’t the one at the receiving end of her chastisement.
Vrox jerked as if he’d been hit. Before sighing heavily and flattening his crest, his scales dulled to muddy grey as he abased himself on the floor, oblivious to everyone else still crammed in the room.
“What’s going on?” demanded Mr Detective.
Felina gently disentangled herself from my grasp. “Nothing that concerns you. We’ll be taking ourselves out of your orbit. Have a shady day, people.” She nodded to Mr Detective and his team, beamed at Damita and ignored Cupert Peaceman, before stepping back, allowing me to precede her. Vrox lumbered to his feet, clearly intent on leading the way.
NO! YOU HAVE BROKEN FAITH WITH HER AND CANNOT NOW RUN ALONGSIDE HER, commanded Felina.
I rubbed my thudding forehead. Felina… any chance you can dial it back somewhat? Your Sendings are very loud.
Vrox bleats in agreement, submissively lowering his muzzle and radiating concern over her continued displeasure.
Sorry, Raindrop, that better?
Though still too loud to be comfortable, at least my teeth were no longer buzzing. Thank you… Meanwhile, I formally bade farewell to everyone, thoroughly relieved that we were leaving the misery of the Security Suite behind us as I headed for the door. Particularly as my escort nearly collided with Beneth Healer coming the other way towing her hover gurney, laden with an unconscious Kestor Brarian. Beneth stiffly responded to my greeting, clearly still irked at my refusal to let her try out her MindTrawling skills on Felina.
Behind me, Vrox snarled as he passed the gurney. I tensed, worried that he’d try to snap at Kestor, before recalling that now he was alongside Felina and clearly under her control, it wasn’t likely to be a problem.
“Shady day to you, Beneth,” said Felina.
“And to you, Mistress Keeper,” said Beneth, without slowing.
“No word of congratulation that I’ve been cleared of all charges, Mistress Healer?” Felina hollered at her back.
I was glad when she turned around, as there weren’t all that many educated, intelligent folks in Cnicus that Felina could afford to lose her as a friend, or at least a companion.
“I would have managed your MindTrawl safely, you know,” she said, plaintively.
I, on the other hand, wasn’t going to be staying in Cnicus so I didn’t care what she thought of me. “Could you guarantee that, given that you’d never undertaken the procedure before?”
She curtsied hastily. “Your Ladyship – well… I couldn’t actually guarantee it, but—”
“So, if you’d been accused of a murder you hadn’t committed and were facing a MindTrawl – what would you prefer? An operator who has never done the procedure before, or someone who has conducted dozens, if not hundreds of MindTrawls?”
Beneth sighed and rubbed her eyes. “My repentances, Your Ladyship, Felina. Of course, I’d rather be Trawled by the more experienced operator. It’s just… I’d never had the chance to actually take the lead in such a procedure, so it seemed the ideal opportunity.”
“No harm done. I’m having a party tonight to celebrate being free and in honour of our important visitor. Want to come?” asked Felina.
“I’d be delighted!” gushed Beneth, before glancing down at Kestor, now starting to surface. “Better get my patient to the Security Suite, Your Ladyship, Felina.”
I stared after the gurney, feeling cold despite the heat. “What’ve I done?”
“Is he responsible for the blix-up at the Nodery?” asked Felina.
“Yes, but—”
“And I’m mighty glad that Onice will get a chance to think. He’s got her so she doesn’t know which way is up.”
“Hm. I’m guessing she’s not gonna be brimful of gratitude over what’s gone down,” I muttered.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Onice was arguing with Mr Steward, as Felina and I were passing the Stores. I’d nearly persuaded her to head straight for her sleeproom and take a siesta, knowing only too well what a strain she’d found the MindTrawl. But when she heard the raised voices, her sandals scuffed up puffs of red dust as she abruptly changed direction and strode off down the path towards the complex of stilted buildings to find out what was going on.
Vrox huffed in protest, keen to get some rest.
Why don’t you? I urged, aware he found the heat exhausting after his years of exile in Gloriosa. So he peeled off towards his bed, growling under his breath, with the spiderbot trailing after him.
Meanwhile, my escort and I accompanied Felina to the Stores, partly out of concern for her welfare and partly because I simply wanted to walk up this path, again. It brought back a raft of memories when living in Cnicus, of trotting along this route in happy anticipation of seeing Felina.
Now, retracing my steps along the dusty flags, I inhaled the aroma of the aircon blowers, hot paint and baked dust melded into a unique Cnican scent that smelt more like home than anywhere else. Even if this time, we were ringed by my escort and two spiderbots. However the walk to the Stores wasn’t anything like long enough to get lost in the past, because at the end of the path was a quarrel.
“…your attitude less than helpful,” drawled Mr Steward, looking down his Uppie nose at both Felina and Onice.
While Felina, for once, was looking reasonably calm, a flushed, clench-fisted Onice was clearly furious.
“What’s the problem?” Not that I really wanted to know.
“Mr Steward, here, only wants us to clear out one of the fridges for all your fancy Gloriosan treats they’ve hauled halfway across the planet!” snapped Onice.
“Really?” I raised my eyebrows at my head of household. “What needs to be so urgently refrigerated?”
“A consignment of ices and sorbets have arrived from Gloriosa, Your Ladyship,” he announced, shifting a little. As well he might, for I hadn’t approved their transport.
“It didn’t occur to you to ask if Cnicans also make ices and sorbets?” I asked.
“Given you don’t have a taste for them…”
“You assumed I didn’t know what they were,” I finished wearily, only too familiar with the way Gloriosan arrogance worked. “There’s several folks in the village who make ice creams and sorbets, I just don’t like them. So send this consignment across to the barracks where they’ll have plenty of room. Not that they’ll be taking up fridge space for long, I’m guessing.”
“Very well, Your Ladyship,” he muttered, looking sour enough to curdle cream.
“Then contact Ajene Stitcher and place an order with her to supply the household for those who like freezing their tongues and chilling their bellies.”
“Thank you, Your Ladyship!” Mr Steward bowed. “You’re too kind.”
“I know,” I
answered. “So you’d better sort out that roaching order before it turns into a pool of goo.” As he rushed off, I turned to Onice, who’d been watching the exchange with folded arms and a stony expression. “You coming to Felina’s party to celebrate her release?”
“You gonna be there?” she asked.
I nodded dismally, having a good idea where this was going.
“Then no, I’m not.” She leaned in, her voice a fierce whisper, “When I sent you that note, I’d no notion you were gonna see Kestor Collared!”
“I tried to let him walk away! But he was all set to run to the journos with some roachbait about how I’d taken away his post as village Brarian cos I was jealous that you’d paired up with him.”
“She can’t have that kind of nonsense going on. Not while she’s here to pay her respects to her Ma,” added Felina.
Onice’s eyes brimmed with unshed tears as her voice cracked, “We’d such plans! Why can’t he just get a Formal Warning?”
“Cos he nearly killed the Node. And unlike everyone else around here, he knew exactly how much damage shutting up the Nodery for so long would do, yet he didn’t care.”
“It’s always about the roaching Node with you, isn’t it? Always has been! That’s what had Mai foaming at the mouth – she’d tell you to leave it alone and you never would!”
“I’m a Brarian, what d’you expect? Just like you’re a Keeper! What if just now I’d turned to you and said, ‘Please Onice, for friendship’s sake, turf out all those cheeses and terrines made by the villagers for my ices and sorbets.’? Bet you wouldn’t have done it.” I lowered my voice, trying not to plead, “What’d happen to the village if the Nodery died and you were having to cut deals with Reseda on all the produce using Bullits for nigh-on a year?”
“It wouldn’t come to that,” she said, looking shaken.
“Oh yes it would. We still might lose all the Keeper records, cos that’s the tank still poorly. I’m grabbing an hour or so siesta-time and swinging by the party, but I’ll be staying at the Nodery overnight. That’s how bad it is.”
“Kestor said you just needed to seed a new tank and that after a few months it would be fine,” snapped Onice, hands on hips. “And his pa is the Brarian Major of Acinos so he—”
“Is that the slurry he’s been spouting?” demanded Felina. “I’m no Brarian, but I spent enough time in Osmar’s orbit to tell you such a move would blix up a Nodery for nigh-on a generation if it’s as established as ours. As for Adurn, he’s a nemmet-hearted roacher who’d Collar his old granny if he thought it’d get him a place on The Council.”
“Never mind about Adurn being the Brarian Major of Acinos, I’m the Overlord Brarian. Reckon I probably know a bit more about how the Node works than he does.” For all her curtseys and show of respect, Onice doesn’t reckon I’ve earned the right to be Overlord. Which stung more than it should.
Onice didn’t bother to reply, or even look in my direction, as she nodded to Felina. “Till tomorrow. And I’m gladder than I can say that you’re free of Cupert.” Which was when she flicked a dark look in my direction and a sullen bob that was supposed to pass as a curtsey. Trislen wouldn’t have stood for such insolence! But even as I opened my mouth to demand more respect, I recalled how much I’d despised the way he clung to all the trappings of his office. Am I turning into my uncle? Despite the heat, I shivered at the notion.
“Stay shady,” replied Felina.
I turned towards Felina’s house, wishing I’d headed straight for my bed instead of trying to relive a happy memory, because all I’d done was tarnish it with a much grimmer event – the death of my friendship with Onice.
“She’ll come around, Raindrop,” said Felina, walking beside me, as my escort reformed around us.
“For sure.” But I didn’t believe it and judging from her expression, neither did Felina.
*
Much later at Felina’s party, I leaned back in the chair giggling as the village Keeper did her trick of crossing her eyes as she focused on Ajene’s wagging finger while being scolded over some old nonsense running between them. Stuffed with good food, I was trying to manage another mouthful of cadia cake dripping with sweet zephyr sauce. I’d dreamt of this, my favourite treat, while marooned in Gloriosa so was determined to finish off this helping.
I looked around the room, remembering a celebratory party here another lifetime ago just after I’d been cleared of killing Osmar. On that occasion, Beneth’d had to leave to look after a patient. A shame no such medical emergency called her away tonight, as she’s barely cracked a smile all evening. Though Damita was invited, there’d been a mix-up with the schedules and Cupert insisted she pull another shift at the Security Suite. Apparently.
I nibbled at the slab of cake on my plate, savouring the tart sweetness even though I was full to the brim. There’d been other folks at that party a lifetime ago, when I’d still harboured dreams of being the Brarian of a small Nodery like the one in Cnicus. Onice had been there – indeed, she’d sung for us. This time around, she’d swept in, helped herself to a plateful of food and marched out again without a word just after I’d arrived. And the other person missing this time around, was Seth. I hadn’t spoken to him since our disastrous discussion about Demri. I now realised his absence was one of the main reasons why Cnicus no longer felt like home. While we hadn’t become close until we’d gone on the run, in the village he’d always looked out for me, as I’d looked out for him. Two misfits who didn’t belong…
Now the only misfit is me. And I don’t belong in Gloriosa, either.
Seeing Felina’s anxious gaze, I snapped a grin in place. Not good enough to mope around like a heatstruck hen! This is Felina’s night and I’ve a face longer than a noonblast journey. I put my plate down. “Did I tell you I’ve a suitor in Gloriosa? Goes by the name of Clete Gator and whenever I’m at some dreary Uppie gathering, he turns up, sticking to my side like chicken poo…” I went on to tell them how he’d recently taken to sending me dreadful love poetry. “He gifted me with that scent you used today,” I told Felina, as they laughed while also tutting their disapproval at his behaviour towards a married woman.
She snorted. “Stingy with his swaps, as well, then! There was hardly enough in the teeny bottle to perfume a fly – not that I wasn’t mighty grateful, Raindrop. It packs a punch in the nostril department. I hardly smelt the bog-box in that stinky cell once I’d sprinkled it on.”
“What’s the perfume called?” asked Beneth, finally deigning to take part in the conversation.
Felina frowned. “Some old wordwind. Light’s or some such – that’s it – Lovelights.”
“Lovelights?” echoed Beneth, her eyes widening as she leaned forward.
Trust her to know it’s a famous and very expensive Uppie scent.
“Think so. Is that the name, Raindrop?” asked Felina, turning to me.
I shrugged. “Might be.”
“Do you use that particular perfume, Your Ladyship?” asked Beneth.
Nope. Can’t stand the stink of entitled wealth. And Clete Gator makes a point of presenting me with it. Not that I got a chance to say anything.
“Use the brain you were born with, Beneth! Our Kyrillia here is married to Seth, so she’s hardly likely to smother herself in scent given to her by another man!” snapped Felina.
“Though the journos have it they don’t even share a bedroom. More than a few commentators reckon that now she’s in Gloriosa with the pick of all the eligible young men, she’s not looking to stay married to a ditch-dredger like Seth Priest,” retorted Beneth.
I was very glad my goggles hid so much of my face as I reached for my brandy glass and wetted my lips with the golden liquid, giving myself time to calm down, before managing, “I wouldn’t set too much store by journo-jabber. Half of them reckon Cnicans are sunslagged wet-wits, while the other half have you as fickle-fingered twisters all set to lever every swap from your hapless visitors.”
“My repentances if I caus
ed any offence, Your Ladyship, but it’s what everyone’s saying,” said Beneth in a tone indicating that she thought if I did take offence, then I was far too Uppie and thin-skinned for my own good.
“Indeed.” I put down the brandy glass a bit harder than necessary. “Last month, everyone was saying that Joachim Brarian would march into the Prime Nodery and take control of the Codes. Everyone was sure that me and Seth would be flung out of Gloriosa with nothing more than the clothes on our backs and permanently banished from the capital. And we all know how that ended.”
“Though that probably was an exaggeration, wasn’t it Your Ladyship?” said Ajene. “I mean… half a bucket.” She shuddered.
I cast my mind back. “He made an almighty mess. We were finding ashy grit in corners of the Node for days. But for once they were right, I reckon his remains must’ve filled about half a bucket.”
Beneth cleared her throat. “I was never quite clear why the Node… why he failed. He spoke very well and seemed to know so much about the situation.”
He did, didn’t he? Caused us more than one sleepless night. Well, Seth more than me. I was secretly hoping he’d succeed. “He didn’t have the Codes, so the Node wouldn’t accept him.”
“Whereas you…”
“Well of course she has the roaching Codes, Beneth! She’s here, large as life and twice as lovely,” snapped Felina.
Vrox chose this moment to burst into my head. I’m hunting – look! I’ve made a kill…
My mind was suddenly crammed with mantivore excitement, while the stench of freshly slaughtered jasper filled my nostrils, the hot copper taste hitting the back of my throat. I might have coped on an empty stomach, but having filled up on all my favourite treats, it was too much. I jumped up, rushing to the bog-box where I promptly lost my supper.
YOU CUB-WITTED STRING OF THREATDROOL! YOU HAVEN’T THE MANNERS OF NEMMETNUB! howled Felina, shoving the stench of my vomit at the mantivore.
Which had me retching all over again, before I was able to draw breath. By this point Beneth was tapping on the door, keen to check me over to ensure I hadn’t been poisoned. Wiping my mucky mouth, still bent over the box, I shut my eyes, wishing I was elsewhere. Gloriosa even. This was the final knock to shatter the pitcher. I’d rushed back to Cnicus, desperate to relive just a few of my golden memories before being yanked back to a life I never asked for and never wanted. And one by one, those memories were turning to slurry by a reality that left me stranded between two worlds and not belonging in each. Listening to Vrox’s cringing howls during Felina’s thunderous MindWhacking about his shoddy manners, I could have happily joined in.
