“Oh, Hailey,” my mom says, sighing. “I wish you had told me that before. I didn’t buy anything to make French mustaches.”
I am about to have a fit about this. Because the very best part of dressing for France is wearing a French mustache! But then my mom tells me that we are going to dress up like French painters.
Then she pulls out a big bag and puts it on the kitchen table in front of me and Addie Jokobeck. In that bag are: Some plain white T-shirts. Some paints. And then comes the very best part. We are going to paint stripes on the T-shirts!
We take those white, white, white T-shirts and paint stripes on them with special paint. I love to make a good mess on clothes! And this one is allowed! I make blue stripes on my shirt. Addie Jokobeck paints red stripes on hers.
And then my mom says, “Now it is time for the special surprise.”
“I love special surprises!” I gasp.
Then my mom reaches back into that bag. And she pulls out two hats.
“These are special French hats called berets,” she says.
I try the beret right on. So does Addie Jokobeck. Those hats are very floppy! They flop, flop, flop right over our eyes.
“Bonjour!” I say to Addie Jokobeck from under my beret. Bonjour is how you say “hello” in French.
“Bonjour!” Addie Jokobeck says from under her beret.
Then we take that special paint and paint those berets right up. I write “Hailey” on mine in pink paint. And then I put beautiful blue glitter all over it.
Addie writes “Adeline” on hers in red paint. Adeline is Addie’s real name. She is just called Addie for short. I am not called anything for short. I think about how maybe I should be called “Hail” from now on. I wonder if that would catch on.
“I love to paint on clothes,” Addie Jokobeck says. This is very shocking. Painting on clothes is very much against the rules. So I thought she probably would not like it too much. That Addie Jokobeck is just full of surprises.
“Do you want to have some ice cream after this?” I ask her. “We have vanilla and strawberries and cream!” Strawberries and cream is the best flavor of ice cream to have. I wait for Addie to get very happy and excited.
“Addie’s going to be leaving soon,” my mom says. “Her mom is on her way to pick her up.”
“Already?” I ask. I feel a little sad in my heart.
“Yes,” Addie says. “I am going over to Natalie’s to look at her tree house.”
My mouth drops all the way open. “You are going to Natalie’s?” I am very, very surprised by this. Addie Jokobeck and Natalie Brice are not even friends! Addie is my new friend, not Natalie’s! And I am the boss of her!
“Yes,” Addie says. She is painting stars on her hat.
“You,” I say, “should not go to Natalie’s. She is very, very mean.” I hope Addie Jokobeck knows I am the boss of her. “And I am not invited.”
“But her mom called my mom and we are going to work on her tree house and then we are going to have make-your-own sundaes,” she says. Make-your-own sundaes! That is the very best kind of ice cream activity! It is very delicious and very messy, two of my favorite things!
I do not think me and Addie Jokobeck are friends anymore. And I think everything might just be a big mess.
Chapter Eight
French Mustaches
Maybelle does not come back until the next day at school. She just poofs right up while we are having free art in room four.
“Where have you been?” I ask her. “I have been very worried about you, like maybe Mr. Tuttle took you away!”
“What do you mean, where have I been?” Antonio asks. “I have been right here!” He is sitting next to me. During free art we are allowed to sit wherever we want. And Antonio picked to sit with me, me, me! I am making a special picture of my family. So far Antonio has taught me that padre means father in Spanish, and madre means mother.
“I did not say anything,” I tell Antonio. “I do not know what you are talking about.” I pick up a red marker and draw some lips on my paper. Right on my dad. “Look at these red lips I just drew on my padre!” I say. “Aren’t those some good lips?”
“Those are some very good lips,” Antonio says. He is drawing a picture of his grandparents’ ranch in Mexico.
“What is that a picture of?” Maybelle asks. She sits down at the top of my desk. She is wearing her glittery pink dress again. I am going to have to find her some other clothes. I do not think it is good for her to be wearing the same thing over and over again. It will get all dirty. And I do not know how to do laundry, thank you very much.
“This is a picture of my family,” I say to Maybelle. Only I pretend to say it to Antonio.
“I know,” he says. Then he wrinkles up his face and looks at me weird. “You already told me that.”
“Well, I was telling you again,” I say. Then I take the orange marker and make a big sun up in the sky. And I add some purple streaks all around it like a beautiful sunset would look. “That,” I say, “is a very beautiful sunset.”
“I like that sunset a lot, Hailey,” Addie Jokobeck says. She moved her paper over to my art table a few minutes ago. That is because I have been giving her the silent treatment. Addie Jokobeck does not like that.
I pretend that I don’t hear her. But Addie does not get the hint.
“I SAID I LIKE THAT SUNSET A LOT, HAILEY,” she says.
And then I see something. Natalie Brice is being very, very quiet. She is being quiet the way I am quiet when I am up watching TV and I don’t want my parents to realize it is time for bed. That means she is listening very, very close.
“Thank you, Addie,” I whisper to Addie so that Natalie Brice will think some secrets are going on.
“You are welcome,” Addie whispers back. “And also I want you to know that Natalie’s house was not that fun and her tree house is very small.” Addie holds up her fingers to show how small it is.
“Really?” I ask.
“Yes,” she says. “And also Natalie was asking lots of things about you, like if I thought you maybe threw that list away.”
I swallow very hard. “And what did you say?”
“I said no.” Addie smiles and shows where her teeth are missing. And I smile back.
“Addie Jokobeck,” I say. “I think me and you are friends again.”
And then Addie smiles even more.
“Look at my picture!” Antonio says. He is making a new one now. Of a green dinosaur.
“You know, Hailey,” Maybelle says, “I’ll bet it would be very fun to have a French mustache.”
I frown. My mom did not buy the things for French mustaches. But Maybelle does not know that. She was not in the kitchen when my mom said it.
And then Maybelle does something else. When no one else is looking, Maybelle picks up the black marker. And she draws a big mustache right on her face!
“Bonjour!” she says. And she laughs. I did not know that Maybelle knew how to say “hello” in French. And now Maybelle has a French mustache. I start to feel very, very jealous. Jealous is when you start to want something that someone else has. And I want that French mustache.
So when Antonio is looking down, down, down at his paper, I duck under my desk real quick. And then I crook my finger and Maybelle flies under with me. And then she draws a black mustache right on my face!
“Look at me!” I say to Addie when I pop back up. “Now I am a real Frenchman!”
“Cool!” Antonio says. “I want one, too!” And I can tell by how his black eyes look that he really means it.
“You can’t,” I say. “You are not doing the country of France. Only Frenchmen have curly black mustaches.”
“Hailey!” Addie Jokobeck says from where she is sitting across from me at the art table. “You know we are not allowed to draw on our faces!”
&n
bsp; “This is not a drawing,” I say. “This is a French mustache.” I reach my hand up and pretend to curl it around my finger. I still see Natalie watching out of the corner of my eye. And so I say, “And you can have one too, Addie, since you are a Frenchman!” So I pick up the marker. “Do you want one?” I ask.
“Yes, please,” Addie says. So I draw a nice mustache on her face.
“Drawing on your face is against the rules,” Natalie says to Addie. And then Addie starts to look very nervous.
So I quickly hop off my chair and grab Addie’s hand and take her over to the sink in the corner. And then we wash, wash, wash our mustaches right off. It is very hard to get marker off of your face. So we must have missed some spots. Because when Miss Stephanie comes around to collect our papers, she sees those French mustaches. And she is not happy about it.
Chapter Nine
Big, Big Trouble
After school I have to go to Addie Jokobeck’s house so that we can make our French fries for the party tomorrow.
Mrs. Jokobeck makes Addie go upstairs to change into some cooking clothes. That is because cooking is very messy.
I am already changed into my cooking clothes, and those are my play jeans with a big sweatshirt that used to be Kaitlyn’s. It says “I heart NY” on the front of it.
And while I am sitting in Addie’s living room, waiting very patient and quietly, Maybelle decides to show up. This time, she is wearing a fancy green dress and green tights.
“Those are very beautiful green tights,” I say. “You look just like a beautiful princess.”
“Thank you.” Maybelle flies around the living room. “I took them off a doll in room five while everyone was at recess.” And then I notice something else.
“Maybelle!” I gasp. “You got your hair done up!” Maybelle’s hair is now in flowing curls and ringlets all around her shoulders. It looks very gorgeous.
“Yes,” she says. “Do you love it?”
“I love it,” I say. “You look very pretty.” I reach up and touch my own hair. I think maybe someday soon I might need to get my hair done. And maybe a princess dress like Maybelle is wearing. But mine will be light blue. And I will also have a beautiful sparkly tiara.
“I did it all by myself,” she says. “And let me tell you, it is not easy to curl the back of your hair without looking.”
“Wow.” I jump off of Addie’s couch and head over to get a better look at that wonderful new hairdo. “Maybelle,” I say, “I think maybe you should be a fancy hairdresser instead of a magic sprite.”
“LOOK!” Addie Jokobeck yells. She is all of a sudden in the room. Maybelle screams because she is so surprised to see Addie. “ME AND YOU ARE TWINS!” And Addie Jokobeck is wearing a shirt that says “I heart NY” just like my sweatshirt!
I decide I like being twins with Addie Jokobeck.
When we go into the kitchen, I find out that Addie Jokobeck’s dad is very, very fun and funny. He pulls a big chef’s hat out of a drawer. And then he pretends that he is a French chef.
“Why, hello, mademoiselles,” he says. Mademoiselle is French for “Miss.” I like being called “Miss.” That is what the lady at the library always calls me when I check out books.
Addie Jokobeck’s dad also puts on a fake black mustache! It is all furry and has a sticky back that sticks right to your skin! And he has one for me and one for Addie Jokobeck, too.
“We should all pick out French names,” he tells us.
“I will be Mademoiselle Hailey,” I say.
“That name is not French,” Maybelle says. She puts her nose up, up, up in the air. “That is just your own name with ‘Miss’ in front of it.”
“I don’t care,” I say.
“You don’t care about what?” Addie asks. Me and Addie are scrubbing some potatoes in a big pot of water. Scrub, scrub, scrub.
“Um,” I say. “I don’t care that I am going to get my fingernails all dirty from scrubbing these potatoes!” I drop one potato into the pot, and some of the water splashes up on my face. I laugh and wipe my face off with the sleeve of my sweatshirt.
“How are those potatoes coming?” Mr. Jokobeck asks. He twirls his fake mustache around his finger. “Are they almost ready to be cut?”
“Yes,” Addie and I say. Then Addie and I watch while Mr. Jokobeck cuts up the French fries in a special slicer. He puts them into the fryer, and they come out all golden and crispy. Addie and I use big salt and pepper shakers to sprink, sprink, sprinkle them all up.
And then we each get to eat some! I put lots of ketchup on mine, and drag them in a line all over the plate.
“Look, Addie,” I say, “these are our French fries and we are dragging them through a bloodbath!”
“And now I am eating the bloodbath!” And then Addie Jokobeck takes a whole handful of French fries and ketchup and shoves it right in her mouth! And ketchup and salt is all over her mouth and even dripping down onto her shirt! I am so shocked that I cannot move for one second. Addie Jokobeck is being very naughty and it is her idea! She is not obeying the rules like she is supposed to!
“That,” Maybelle says, “seems very, very fun.” And then, when Addie is not looking, Maybelle picks a French fry right off the tray and throws it at Addie Jokobeck’s head! I am shocked for one minute. And I think that maybe Addie Jokobeck is going to be upset.
“You threw a French fry at me,” she says slowly. She pulls it out of her hair.
“Yes,” I say, even though it was really Maybelle.
Then Addie Jokobeck does something even worse. She squishes up a big handful of French fries and yells, “Food fight!” And then Addie and I are throwing French fries all over the place at each other and laughing and giggling and ketchup is everywhere! And Maybelle is swooping around and throwing French fries when Addie is not looking and it is very fun, fun, fun and also a big mess, mess, mess.
“Oh, my goodness,” Mr. Jokobeck says when he sees us. “I guess you two have decided to take these French fries and turn them into mashed potatoes!”
And he is not even mad! He just helps us clean up.
But the fun does not last long. Because the phone rings while Addie and I are cleaning up our big mess.
Addie Jokobeck’s dad answers. And me and Addie hear him say, “Oh, hello, Miss Stephanie.” And then he starts talking in a very serious voice. He says, “No, no, she didn’t…yes…yes, okay, Miss Stephanie.”
And Addie Jokobeck is starting to look very upset. When her dad hangs up the phone, he says, “Please come into the living room for a moment, Adeline.”
So I sit in the kitchen by myself. And when Addie comes back, she has a very sad look on her face.
“Hailey,” she says. “I am in a lot of trouble for drawing that French mustache on my face today.”
“That’s horrible,” I say. “Did you get a bad punishment?”
“Yes,” she says. “I did.” And then she looks at me and takes one big breath. “I am sorry, Hailey, but I cannot be your friend anymore.”
“Why not?” I ask.
“Because I am always getting in trouble with you!” Addie yells. “You made me use Grandma Jokobeck’s special teeth cream and you will not let me be friends with Natalie and now you got me in big trouble for a French mustache!”
My throat starts to feel very hot, and my heart starts to feel very sad. “I’m sorry,” I say to Addie.
But she just turns around and goes to her room. And I have to sit there in the kitchen until my mom comes to get me. But I only cry a little.
***
Miss Stephanie called my mom, too. She tells me in the car. And now I have to have a special meeting with my parents after dinner. It is not going to be fun or funny or anything.
“Maybelle!” I say when I get home from Addie’s. I hang my coat on the hook by the door and make sure no one is around to hear me.
“Bonjour!” Maybelle says. She spins all around in her new green dress.
“Maybelle, you got me in trouble again!” I say. I stamp my foot so that she knows this is very serious business. “And Miss Stephanie called my mom and Addie’s dad and they are very mad and you better stop it, young lady!”
“I am trying to be fun,” Maybelle says. “Isn’t getting a mustache on your face fun?”
“Ye-esss,” I say slowly. “But you keep. Getting. Me. In. Trouble!”
“Who are you talking to?” Kaitlyn asks. She walks into the kitchen. She takes an orange out of the refrigerator and looks at me real strange.
“No one,” I say quickly. And Maybelle disappears.
But Kaitlyn is giving me a weird look, like maybe she does not believe me.
***
After dinner, I have a special family meeting with my parents. The special family meeting is just me and those two. We sit around the kitchen table. Me, my mom, and my dad.
“Hailey,” my mom says. “We need to discuss your behavior at school lately.”
“No, thank you,” I say. “I do not really feel like discussing that right now.” I make a big yawn and a big stretch. “I am mostly just ready for bed. I am so sleepy!” I am not really that sleepy. But I would rather be in a nice warm bed than having a special family meeting.
“Hailey, it’s not your bedtime yet,” my mom says.
“But getting some good rest is important for school the next day,” I tell her. “That is what you always tell me.” I think about this. “And having a good breakfast is important, too. Like oatmeal, right, Dad?”
“Yes,” my dad says. “That is true about the oatmeal, but this is important, too.” He is using a very serious voice with me that I do not like. Not even one little bit. It sounds exactly like the voice Addie Jokobeck’s dad used when he called her Adeline and made her go into the living room for a talk.
Hailey Twitch Is Not a Snitch Page 4
