by E. L. Todd
Love Me Still
Book Thirty-Seven of The Forever and Ever Series
E. L. Todd
Chapter One
Cayson
“Dude, I can’t believe you’re having a boy.” Slade had his food in front of him, but surprisingly he didn’t eat it. He seemed to be in a daze, somewhere far away.
“I can’t believe it either.” I hadn’t been able to stop smiling. A permanent grin was stretched on my face. “I’m having a son. I’m gonna be a dad.”
“You just realized that?” he asked. “You already knew that.”
“But now that I know it’s a boy I keep thinking about playing catch with him in the yard and helping him with his science experiments.”
Slade rolled his eyes. “Just because he’s your son doesn’t mean he’s going to be a nerd.”
“Well…he doesn’t have good odds. Skye is a nerd too.”
“She’s not as bad as you.” He sipped his soda.
“How’s operation baby going?”
“Dude, Trinity’s pussy is made of steel.” He shook his head.
I cringed.
“That birth control she was on is super powerful. She hasn’t taken it in months and she still can’t get pregnant. And I’ve been fucking her—”
“PG,” I snapped. “We’re in public.”
“Whatever,” he said. “You asked.”
“I meant in an appropriate way.” Slade would never understand appropriate from inappropriate.
“Anyway…it hasn’t been going well. Trinity gets really upset about it and stars crying.” He rubbed his temple in irritation. “Then she blames herself and thinks there’s something wrong with her.”
“You know, it’s normal for couples to try a few months.”
“That’s exactly what I told her.” He slammed his fist down onto the table. “But then she always points out the fact Skye got pregnant on birth control and she wasn’t even trying to have a baby.”
“Well…” I didn’t have a good explanation for that. “We were having a lot of sex.”
“And you think Trinity and I don’t?” he demanded. “Our apartment is pretty much a brothel—except we’re the only customers.”
“Anyway…” I just ate and I didn’t want to throw up.
“And she’s in a hurry because she wants to make sure our kids are close in age. She’s psycho about it. Knocking up Skye is the worst thing you could have done to me.”
My voice was full of sarcasm. “Sorry about that…”
“I’ll forgive you…eventually.”
I tried not to roll my eyes.
“What are you going to name him?”
“Not sure,” I said. “Skye and I haven’t talked about it. I think we’re in the process of picturing a little boy crawling across the hardwood floor right now.”
“Slade is a good name.”
“No.”
“Come on, it’s unique and powerful.”
I held up my hand. “Ain’t gonna happen so shut up.”
He closed his mouth and sighed. “Whatever. I’m sure someone else will name their kid that since I’m going to be a famous rock star and everything.”
“Yeah…” I eyed my watch. “I should probably head home.” It was the only place I wanted to be. I would have run over there immediately if Slade didn’t want to hang up. Skye was the only person I ever wanted to be around—and our son.
“Did you tell her?”
Why did he keep bringing this up? “No…”
“Dude, you’re taking forever.”
“I just found out I’m having a son. Let us enjoy that for a little bit and then I’ll drop the bomb on her.”
“It’ll never be a good time,” he said. “Just man up and tell her.”
“I’m not struggling with the manning up part,” I snapped. “The most amazing thing is happening to us right now. You really want me to ruin it by telling her something so insignificant.”
“I just don’t want you to lose all of this.”
“Skye has no other way of knowing unless you tell her.”
His eyes darkened. “And you know I never would.”
“Just give me a week and I’ll tell her.”
He rolled his eyes. “Do it soon.”
I rolled my eyes and slid out of the booth. “I promise.”
***
I entered through the front door and stopped when I saw all the bags in the hallway. All of my things had been stuffed into white garbage bags. The sleeves of my shirts and jackets were hanging out, and another bag had all of my shoes. My folders and documents from work were shoved inside another.
What the hell was going on? “Skye?”
Another bag rolled down the stairs then landed on top.
I turned and looked up the staircase.
Wearing a terrifying expression, Skye walked down. She wore a loose-fitting dress that gave her baby bump plenty of room. Her cheeks were paler than snow, and her blue eyes were gray like they were cold.
“Skye?” I repeated. “Why is all my stuff down here? Are we going on a trip or something?”
She reached the end of the stairs and gave me the coldest look I’d ever seen. The longer she stared at me, the more hatred came out. It was like she despised me. Just a few hours ago she gave me a loving kiss and told me to hurry back home. But now…I was looking at someone I didn’t know. “Get your shit and leave.” She crossed her arms over her chest and stayed on the other side of the pile.
“What?” I blurted. She was kicking me out? Why? What did I do? “Skye, what did I do?”
“Why don’t you ask Laura?”
Oh shit.
My heart fell into my stomach and I couldn’t hide my reaction. How did Skye know? Slade didn’t tell her. Did he? I suddenly felt ice-cold. My lungs burned with every breath I took.
Fuck.
Damn, this was bad.
Fuck. My. Life.
“Skye—”
“I don’t want to hear it.” She held up a hand. “I know everything that happened. I want you out of this house and out of my life.”
This couldn’t be happening.
“Wait, hold on.” I moved over the pile in the center of the room.
“Get the hell away from me.” She backed up with her hand still on her stomach. “A part of me can understand that you were all alone in a foreign place and had no one there to comfort you but that doesn’t excuse what you did. How could you possibly sleep with someone?” Her eyes watered and her anger diminished. Devastating pain stretched across her face. She was heartbroken.
Sleep with someone? “Skye, I didn’t sleep with her. Where are you getting that from?”
The anger returned in full force. “You’re seriously going to lie right now? Is there anything noble about you anymore?”
“I’m not lying.” I moved closer to her but she moved back.
“Yes, you are.” Her eyes were black and unforgiving. “I want you out of my house.”
“Skye, listen to me—”
She pulled a letter out of her pocket and shoved it hard into my chest. “There’s nothing you can say or do to get out of this. The evidence is right in front of my face, hard and concrete. If you have any respect for me at all, you’ll just grab your stuff and leave.”
I opened the letter as quickly as I could and started to read.
You’ve got to be kidding me.
I read all the way to the end and felt my heart stop.
No. No. No.
That stupid fucking bitch. I wish I had strangled her and left her body in a damn river. “Skye, it’s not what you think. Let me explain.”
“Get out.” She pointed at the front door.
“Skye, listen to me. You’re reading this out of context.”
“You’re judging my reading comprehension skills?” she said with a sarcastic laugh. “I graduated from Harvard. I know how to read. And it’s clear you had an affair the second we were apart because you thought you wouldn’t get caught.” She shook her head in disgust. “You’re a pig just like every other guy.”
I felt the foundation below my feet shake. My world was falling apart. My happy marriage was hanging on the edge of a knife. Adrenaline spiked in my blood when I realized just how serious this situation was. “I didn’t sleep with her. We kissed one time.” I had to get everything out before she cut me off again. “We spent a lot of time together and she came onto me. I brushed her off and said I was married. Then I was sleeping one night and she started kissing me. I was dreaming about you so I kissed her back. When I realized what was going on, I pushed her off and kicked her out of my tent. That’s all that happened. I swear on everything that means anything to me.”
It was clear she didn’t believe a word I said. “And why didn’t you just tell me that?”
“I didn’t have a chance—”
“You’ve been home for a month.”
“But when I got off the plane you were pregnant. You really wanted me to tell you what happened when we’re experiencing the greatest moment of our lives?”
“Fuck you, Cayson.” She never cursed at me. “You weren’t going to tell me. You made up that lie on the spot. If I weren’t so pissed off I might be impressed.”
“It is the truth.”
“No, it’s not. If it were, you would have told me. If that’s all that happened, then you wouldn’t have been afraid to say anything to me. But that isn’t what went down. You fucked her during that whole trip.” While she was still angry, the hurt was in her eyes. “I stayed home every night and tried to keep my head up while I waited for you to come home. But you were shacking up with some park ranger in your tent.”
“Skye.” I stepped closer to her and placed a hand over my heart. “You know me. I would never, ever do that to anyone—especially you. Come on, you know what kind of guy I am. I would never hurt you.”
She shook her head. “But you did, Cayson. It’s all in that later.”
“She and I never slept together. She’s referring to the nights we talked in the tent. After I rejected her she opened up to me and told me how scared she was that she would never find the right guy. That’s what she’s talking about, not sex.”
Skye didn’t even blink. “I can’t believe a word that comes out of your mouth.”
“Yes, you can. I’m not lying, Skye. That’s the god-honest truth.”
“If it were, you would have told me.” Her voice came out ice-cold. “You’ve had five weeks to tell me what happened and you haven’t. That obviously means you were never going to.”
“No, it doesn’t. Ask Slade.”
“Slade?” she snapped. “You told Slade?”
“I called him after it happened and asked for his advice. I admit I considered not telling you at all because there was nothing to tell. She came on to me and I rejected her—end of story.”
“Like Slade, your best friend in the whole world, wouldn’t cover for you.”
“There’s nothing to cover up.” I was growing more terrified by the second. “Skye, he may be my friend but if I really fucked you over like that he would punch me in the face. You’re his cousin and he cares about you.”
“But he cares about you more. I can’t believe I let him live here when he knew what you did.”
“I told him the truth—that Laura kissed me and that was it.”
Skye had enough. “Get out of my house, Cayson. And don’t come back.”
“No.” I dashed to her. I needed to grab her and make her understand.
She immediately darted back and even covered her stomach with her hand. “Don’t. Touch. Me.”
I halted in my tracks and felt the pain radiate through my body. “Skye, I didn’t do it. I know that letter makes me look bad but I’m not lying. You know I would never do that to you. Come on, Skye. Please have some faith.”
She pressed her lips tightly together like she was trying not to cry. “Get out.”
“No.”
“Now.”
“I’m not leaving until you believe me. It doesn’t make any sense, Skye. I’ve been in love with you since I hit puberty, and our entire relationship has been nothing but perfect. I just married you so why would I fuck around the second I became your husband? It makes absolutely no sense.”
“I admit that.” She eyed the letter in my hand. “But I can’t ignore what’s right in front of me.”
This letter was going to ruin my life. “She just kissed me. And that was it. It’s not my fault she’s a psychopath and is obsessed with me.”
“If she’s a psychopath why did you let her stay in your tent?” she challenged. “If she was that much of a threat to your marriage why did you allow her to stay?”
“Skye, I told you. It wasn’t safe for her.”
“Then her safety was more important than your marriage. You made your decision and now here we are.”
I didn’t know what to do. I already told her the truth and she didn’t believe me. She didn’t even look at me the same anymore. Why the fuck did Laura have to put that letter in my bag? Why was she so determined to ruin my life? “Skye, I already said this…but I didn’t do it.” Desperation leaked out of my voice and I couldn’t breathe. “I swear on my nephew that I didn’t sleep with her. I didn’t have an affair. I didn’t do any of those things.” I wasn’t above begging at this point. “Please believe me.”
Her eyes watered like my words hurt her even more. She looked out the window with her hand still across her stomach. Her eyes were endless in their depth, and they were completely empty. “I can understand that you were out there all alone. She was the only American and the only person you could relate to. But…we’re married. I can’t believe you would do that to your wife.”
I wanted to break down the entire house because I was so frustrated. “I didn’t do anything…”
“And the fact you continue to lie about it just makes it worse.”
“I’m not lying, Skye. I know it looks bad. I do. I understand why you’re making this assumption. But look at the bigger picture here. I’m the most loyal and trustworthy person in the world. There’s no way I would ever do something like this.”
“People do different things in different environments…”
“Goddammit, Skye.” I knocked over the coffee table because I couldn’t control my anger.
She didn’t flinch at all. “Get. Out. Now.”
“I’m not leaving. I didn’t do it. Deep down, I know you believe me.”
“I don’t.” She moved around the edge of the living room and stayed clear of me. “Now go.”
My eyes flooded with frustrated tears. “Skye, I love you so damn much. I would rip out my own heart before I did anything that might hurt you.”
She grabbed her phone from the coffee table. “Leave. If you don’t I’ll have to do something I’d rather not.” The threat was in her eyes.
I knew exactly what it was.
When I woke up that morning I made love to my beautiful, pregnant wife then had breakfast downstairs. She moved around the kitchen in a pink apron and her baby bump was noticeable. When I left for work, I was the luckiest guy in the world. And now I just lost it all.
I could keep arguing with her but I knew it wouldn’t accomplish anything. She was too upset, too worked up to see reason. I wouldn’t accomplish anything if I kept pushing her. Maybe after a night of rest, she would come around.
The evidence was against me. Anyone would have thought the same thing if they found that letter. I couldn’t blame her for assuming the worst. But she knew me, and the evidence shouldn’t matter.
But I wouldn’t get through to her tonight.
Feeling lightheaded, I returned to the entryway and grabbed a bag of clothes. The bag felt heavy because I was so weak. I knew Skye and I wou
ld fight in our marriage at some point in our lives but I didn’t expect it to happen like this. I never thought I’d be walking out of the house with a bag of clothes over my shoulder.
She didn’t follow me to the door. She remained in the kitchen where I couldn’t see her.
I shut the door behind me then felt my lungs heave with sadness.
This couldn’t be happening.
***
Slade opened the door. “What are you doing here?” He eyed the bag over my shoulder and the grim look on my face. Then the realization came into his eyes. “You told her and she kicked you out? What the fuck? That’s not fair.”
“No…that’s not what happened.”
“Then what?”
I sighed and felt all the energy leave my body. “It’s a long story. Can I crash here?”
“Of course you can. Come in.” Slade pulled me inside.
I wasn’t thinking when I drove here. Slade was my closest friend in the world. Whenever there was something wrong I always turned to him…or Skye. “Thanks.”
“So what happened?” he asked.
Trinity came out of the bedroom then halted in her tracks when she saw me standing there. Her eyes took in my bag. Instead of pity moving across her face, there was just unbridled anger. “That piece of shit is not staying here.” She marched to me with a fiery look. “Get the hell out of my apartment, cheater.”
“Whoa…what?” He put one hand on Trinity’s shoulder and kept her back from me. “Baby, calm down.”
“I will not calm down.” She threw his arm down. “He’s not staying in my apartment. He can sleep on the street for all I care.”
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Trinity knew. Why wouldn’t Skye tell her? But that didn’t help me. Now I had two people that didn’t believe a word I said.
“Chill.” Slade kept her back. “Cayson, what happened?”
“I—” I could barely get anything out before Trinity interrupted me.
“Cayson slept with that girl. She put a note in his bag and Skye found it. Now she knows everything Cayson was up to while she stayed at home and waited for him to come back.”
“What?” Slade’s head snapped in my direction. “Laura gave you a note?”
“Laura?” Trinity asked. “You know about her?” Her eyes were in fire.
