When he had finished, Diana sat in silent thought for so long, he began to grow uneasy. Was she thinking, or was she… consulting with Someone? He did not sense his Master’s presence, nor that of his new Mistress, either. But perhaps she had already had speech with at least one of the Great Spirits that now ruled him. Maybe that was why she was here.
‘So you are Shandral, now,’ she said at length. Konrad could not tell from her tone how she felt about the development.
‘I suppose,’ he said, ‘I am both. Half one and half the other.’
She looked at him, expressionless. ‘I hope you can understand that this leaves me in a difficult position. What am I now to do?’
‘With me?’ Konrad shrugged. ‘Nothing. Forgive me, Diana, but those decisions have been made over your head. There is nothing for you to do with me at all.’
‘You will continue in your role as the Malykant?’
‘As long as the Master wishes for me to do so. When that ceases to be the case, Tasha will replace me for good. And for once, the Order will have a fresh, new Malykant who actually knows what she is doing.’
Diana nodded. ‘I cannot disagree with the Master’s judgement there.’
‘Just the rest of it?’
It was Diana’s turn to shrug. ‘As I perceive it, your joint allegiance was not of His choosing. He had only to accept it or not, and if He has accepted it, then…’ She shrugged again. ‘It is not for me to question.’
‘But it isn’t what you like.’
‘I hardly know.’ The formality went out of her, all of a sudden. Her erect posture relaxed; her shoulders slumped; she let out a slow sigh, and directed at Konrad a strange, crooked smile. ‘It had never occurred to me,’ she said. ‘I would never have imagined such a duality possible. But I wish I had.’
Konrad raised his brows. ‘I do not think you have ever cared much for my well-being.’
‘I have cared as much as I felt capable of.’
‘You knew, I suppose, that you’d have to order my “retirement” eventually, and were incapable of being a friend to me before that day.’ Konrad heard the harshness of his own words, felt the implacability of his expression, and thought better of it. ‘I don’t know that I would have done any better,’ he said, more mildly. ‘Probably a lot worse.’
Diana did not quite respond. She looked at him; and finally said, ‘The previous Malykant was a… friend.’
Konrad had to think for a moment to recall who she spoke of. He’d only seen his predecessor the once, and under the circumstances had not had leisure to inspect her closely. He remembered little of her, only her… extreme coldness. She’d been like winter itself, stalking the streets of his city like a freezing wind. ‘You were close?’ he said.
‘For a time, very much so. I had to watch as she… changed.’
Konrad did not need to ask how she’d changed. Had The Malykt taken her warmer impulses, too? Stifled her capacity to feel, made of her a monster? Or had she not needed the same interference as Konrad? Perhaps she had been excellent at her job. Too excellent. It had broken her.
And Diana had been obliged to retire her.
He felt a surge of sympathy for the woman, despite his lingering resentment. What if he had to watch something like that happen to Nanda? How might it affect him? What would he do, afterwards, to ensure that no one had to suffer that way again?
‘I think I understand,’ he said, more gently. ‘And I’m sorry.’
Diana nodded, and rose. ‘I am more sorry than I can say, for so many things…’ She trailed off, looking sightlessly into the fire. ‘But maybe,’ she said with a reviving smile, ‘maybe, this time, it will be different.’
‘Everything will be different, now,’ he said. ‘And I even think, maybe, everything will be all right.’
Her smile grew. ‘Coming from you, that means… rather a lot.’
‘Not given to fits of optimism, am I?’ he said lightly. He got to his feet, too, and extended his hand. ‘I don’t ask you to be a friend,’ he said. ‘But shall we at least no longer be enemies?’
Diana took his hand in a firm grip, and shook it. ‘Agreed,’ she said. ‘Though, Konrad, I was never your enemy.’
It was hours before Nanda returned. Konrad spent half of it lounging before the fire in his beloved study, thinking over everything Diana had said — and everything she had not said. In his urgency to deny the fate everyone had seemed eager to foresee for him — the gradual decline of everything that made him human, his inevitable transformation into an irredeemable monster — he had never allowed himself to think seriously about the prospect. Nor did he enjoy doing so now. He’d been close to becoming that person, he knew; especially while he laboured under The Malykt’s stifling of his emotions. He had been better, more efficient at his job under it, but he had also become more and more remote. More ruthless. Less compassionate.
In his heart, he knew Diana had been right to be concerned. And were it not for The Shandrigal’s interference, she might have been right to retire him, too.
He did not need any more reasons to bless the advent of Nanda in his life, but he added those to the list anyway.
By the time she finally arrived, he had fled from these dismal reflections — could he be certain such a fate did not still await him, somewhere on the far horizon? — and taken to prowling around the library, picking up books and setting them back on the shelves, hardly noticing what he held in his hands. Then he stalked about the hall, peered into the best parlour, wandered back up to Alexander’s morning-room, toyed with and dismissed the idea of bothering Tasha again…
The knocker sounded.
He was out into the hall in a flash, forestalling Gorev’s march for the door. He opened it himself, heart hammering with a mixture of anticipation and apprehension. What if it was Nanda?
What if it wasn’t?
It was.
‘Konrad,’ she said, his name emerging slightly muffled. Having dropped some article from the stacks she held in her hands, she’d stooped down to collect it again.
A few more items slipped from her hands, and fell into the snow.
‘Help?’ she said.
Konrad leaped into action. ‘Yes,’ he gabbled. ‘Sorry, I was just— I’m glad you’re here.’ He feverishly collected her lost bits and pieces — a memorandum book, a glove, a shoe — and tried, unsuccessfully, to stuff them back into the top of her overflowing case. The clasp was broken, and besides that the bag was far too full.
Konrad saw this as a good sign. The more things she brought to Bakar House with her, the longer she intended to stay…
He conducted her up to the bedchamber he had chosen for her, marvelling at the nervous energy that set his hands to shaking, and interfered with his ability to breathe properly. He thought he hid his agitation quite well, but once he had thrown open the door, shepherded Nanda inside, and retreated to stand meekly by the wall while she inspected the room, he found himself subject to her most amused smile; her dancing eyes gently mocked him. ‘Now, when did I become such a gorgon as to have you shaking in your boots?’ she said.
‘Actually,’ he said, with daring frankness, ‘You’ve always terrified me.’
That delighted her. She laughed, and set her overstuffed case down atop the satin brocade bedspread Mrs. Orista had chosen for her. ‘Good,’ she said firmly. ‘That is as it should be.’
Konrad drifted nearer.
Nanda watched his approach with raised brows, and made no move to meet him halfway, or anything else that might seem welcoming. He stopped about two feet away.
‘You’re wondering whether you’re permitted to kiss me,’ said Nanda.
Konrad coughed. ‘I had been thinking about it, yes.’
Nanda amused herself at his expense a moment longer, with a show of thinking-it-over.
Then she was in his arms, and answering his question in the best way he could possibly wish for.
‘Oho,’ came Tasha’s voice a minute or so later. ‘Shenanigans.’
Konrad cursed silently as Nanda withdrew from his embrace. He turned, and subjected his interrupting apprentice to his most terrible stare.
She stood grinning, unabashed. ‘Don’t mind me.’
‘We do mind, just a bit,’ he said. ‘Haven’t you got something else to do?’
‘Actually,’ said Tasha, ‘I don’t.’
‘Actually, you do,’ said Nanda, breezing past Konrad. ‘I’ve got an errand for you.’
‘Is it daring, dashing and fraught with danger?’
‘Yes.’
Tasha blinked. ‘Really?’
Nanda nodded once. ‘Somewhere up in the Deathlands, there’s a lonesome Gatekeeper with a powerful need for distraction. I promised him a visit from the most colourful person I know.’
‘And that’s me?’ Tasha seemed genuinely astonished — and, Konrad suspected, thrilled.
‘Do you doubt it?’
Tasha pulled herself together. ‘No, ma’am,’ she said, with her customary impish grin and a mocking salute. ‘When do I leave?’
Nanda cast a sideways glance at Konrad. ‘Approximately now would be good.’
***
Thank you for reading what are (probably) the final stories in the tales of Konrad and Co. Don’t worry though — if I’m still breathing, I’m still writing, so there are always more stories to look forward to from me. Check out some of my other books at: http://www.charlotteenglish.com/my-books/
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