Dirty Bastard (Wet Dicks MC Book 1)

by Echo Slater

  “Sweet and sorta crazy,” he says, and I grudgingly nod. “So, because I got a better mom, I end up with the seventeen-year-old.”

  “You didn’t end up with anything. You just have the hots for a seventeen-year-old. You don’t even know Hagan. You might be freaking out over nothing.”

  “Could just be jealous of you,” Cash suggests and winks at Stoney.

  “Stop flirting with me, shit-stain.”

  “Hey, there, bud,” Bishop says softly. “Stoney, do you know what number comes after seventeen?”

  “Yeah, yeah, I get it, but her birthday isn’t until December. That’s a long fucking time.”

  “You could just doggy-style fuck chicks that look like her and pretend you’re doing her,” Horse suggests as he walks over to see what’s taking us so long. “That’s what I do.”

  “Do what now?” Cash asks. “Who’s the ‘her’ in this sentence?”

  “Shut up, fecal fucker.”

  “I am not into shit sex,” Cash says, chuckling at the thought. “I’d do piss stuff for the right girl, but only if she begged.”

  “Wait,” I say, frowning at my club brothers. “How the fuck did we get on this topic?”

  “I think Hagan is into shit sex,” Cash says to mess with me. “Or maybe that was Stoney.”

  “What the hell is going on?” Grizz growls at us as he walks over. “Why is he pinned to the wall?”

  Bishop and I let Stoney go. Of course, he immediately punches me in the gut.

  “Assholes,” Stoney mutters and walks over to Grizz.

  As payback for the punch, I announce, “Stoney has the hots for Hagan.”

  “The seventeen-year-old?” Grizz growls, making him sound more like a bear than usual.

  “I’m not doing shit about it.”

  “Seventeen is too young,” Grizz says, erasing the space between him and Stoney as if they might kiss soon.

  “I know. That’s why I’m not doing shit.”

  “It better stay that way. If Cameo moves to the Ranch after graduation, Hagan will be around more. Never touch that girl. Not even over-the-clothes shit or I’m taking a ball.”

  “Got it, Prez,” Stoney says, flashing a dirty look at me. “They’re the ones starting shit.”

  Grizz frowns at the rest of us, but I only shrug. “I wanted to make peace with this grumpy bitch. Didn’t need him destroying my testicles with paintballs just because he’s a jealous cunt.”

  “I’m close to lining up you assholes and slapping you Three Stooges–style,” Grizz mutters. “Now stop fucking about, and let’s start the match. I want to find out if I’m having a Lazarus or a Magnolia.”

  “Are those names set in stone?” Bishop asks as he starts walking toward the house where the paintball guns wait. “I’m not digging the girl one.”

  “You’ll not only like the name, but you’ll also say it with fucking glee,” Grizz grumbles while following after him.

  “Whipped men are odd,” Cash tells Stoney, who flips me off.

  “Jealous is a sexy look on you, bud, but I’m a taken man,” I say, chuckling at his anger. “That’s what the whipped part of Cash’s comment was about.”

  “All a bunch of shit-stains,” Stoney says.

  Next to me, Horse flinches at the sound of Cross squealing in joy. Cameo and Hagan chase him around on their hands and knees, so he won’t get so spooked.

  “Kids need an off button,” he mumbles and hurries over to everyone setting up.

  After we’re geared up, but before we separate into two groups, Dexy joins us. “Oh, by the way, I loaded the paintball guns with the color corresponding with your baby’s sex,” she tells Grizz. “So, when you shoot each other, you’ll have your answer.”

  As soon as Grizz looks at his gun, we know he’s about to shoot us. Instead, we fire at him first. Ten seconds later, Grizz is covered in blue paint.

  “Well, that was easy,” Dexy says while Raqui blows on a party favor.

  “Lazarus it is!” she cries and high-fives Rubber Duck.

  Grizz takes a moment to grin at his wife’s excitement. Then, he starts shooting the rest of us in retaliation.

  So much for teams. We spend the next thirty minutes running around the nearby woods, shooting anyone we see. Stoney nails me in the ass TWICE! Out of pity, I choose not to retaliate. If I met Cameo a year ago, waiting for her would have killed me.

  But I’d do it. Cameo knocked me on my ass as soon as we met. No other woman would have satisfied after I knew she existed. I don’t know if Stoney’s heat for Hagan will die down over the next eight months. He isn’t me, and she’s not Cameo.

  However, I still cut him some slack, knowing how wild I instantly went over my girl. And today, despite the brawls and drama, Cameo and I got closer to being together full-time.

  CAMEO—SO INTO YOU

  Cross’s birthday party is a turning point for my parents. They agree I can sleep over on weekends, yet I still need to be home by curfew on school nights.

  What matters most is how Phil and Arlene accept my plan to move in with Mad Dog after graduation. My feelings for him make more sense to them now, and the Ranch no longer seems like a scummy place. Arlene and Dexy hit it off with gardening stories. Rubber Duck talked Phil’s ear off about his former trucking job and all the places he visited. Hagan and Raqui got along well, enjoying each other’s snark.

  Cross even decided I was cool. He told me like ten times how he’s going to be a big brother. He also let me play with his birthday presents. I’m crazy about the little guy by the time he crashes for the night on his dad’s lap. His birthday turned out okay despite the trashy hiccups.

  With last week a success, I’m freakishly excited to spend the weekend at Mad Dog’s house. Unbelievably nervous, too, of course.

  On Friday, Hagan helps me pack my final items. “You’ll totally fart in front of him and need to take a dump in his bathroom. Let’s hope he has plenty of that cinnamon air freshener around.”

  “You’re making me freak out,” I say, raising my voice until even Bane barks downstairs.

  Hagan studies me. “One day, he’ll be your husband or whatever, right? Well, gross shit is bound to happen eventually.”

  “I know, but I’m still nervous.”

  “Raqui said she gets super gassy from pizza while pregnant. That means Grizz is smelling her farts and burps, but he still loves her. And Arlene passes some serious monster clots while on her period. Remember that time she was in the bathroom for two hours with diarrhea, and Phil kept bringing her drinks to stay hydrated?”

  Smiling at her pep talk, I return to packing my best clothes. “How gross am I when I first wake up?”

  “Cameo, I know you’re an emotionally fragile princess, but I refuse to compliment you nonstop to fill up your ego bank.”

  “Is that your way of saying I look hot, then?”

  “Your nipples are always super hard when you wake up. I frequently feel you’re trying to stick me up with your mini-guns. No doubt, your rank breath and eye boogers can’t compete with him feasting on your morning woodies.”

  Looking down at my breasts, I grin. “He does love them.”

  “Does he love you?”

  “Yes.”

  Hagan cocks one of her luxuriously dark brows. “Did he say the actual words?”

  “Um, kinda.”

  “So, no.”

  “Mad Dog says I’m the only woman for him, and he wants me to be with him forever. He talks about having kids and growing old together.”

  “But has he ever said, ‘I love you, Cameo’ or has he just implied it?”

  Avoiding her gaze, I mumble, “Um, the second one.”

  “I suggest when you get into his house, you fall to your knees and get out his dick. Before you start sucking, straight out ask him if he loves you. If he doesn’t say the words, just ditch his dick and walk to his room to unpack. Let him know your lips come with conditions.”

  “That sounds like a bad way to start our weeke
nd.”

  “Fine. Give him a blowjob tonight and then, you know, take his dick hostage on Saturday until you get a clear answer.”

  “Well, you’re the one who’s never had a real boyfriend, so I feel your advice must be the best.”

  “Well reasoned.”

  Glancing around the room, I ask, “Will you be okay alone at night this weekend? You’ve never slept in here by yourself.”

  “I’m super mature. If I can’t handle it, though, I’ll make space between Phil and Arlene in their bed,” Hagan says before offering me a big smile. “It’s only two nights, anyway.”

  Feeling overly dramatic, I hug my bestie for a long time. When I’m with Mad Dog, I feel like a mature woman capable of handling an adult relationship. Right now, though, I feel like a still maturing young woman in over her head and afraid to leave home for a weekend away.

  Hagan sways me back and forth to the beat of Weezer’s “All My Favorite Songs,” and I relax. I trust in Mad Dog’s love. But if things go sideways and we break up, I have the best family. They’ll help me deal with losing my dream man.

  Downstairs, my parents wait for us as if sending me off for a long trip.

  “Rather than have Hagan drop you off with your bag,” Phil announces, “we want you to drive yourself.”

  “That way,” Arlene clarifies, “you’ll have a car at your disposal if something goes haywire and you need a quick escape.”

  “Anal, right?” Hagan asks. “This is all code for anal gone wrong, right?”

  “No,” Arlene replies after rolling her eyes at a troublemaking Hagan. “Dexy said the Ranch has a townie party at the beginning of each month. That’s this weekend. We want you to be able to flee if necessary.”

  “Flee,” I say and grin at Hagan. “Can you imagine me running to the car like a chick in a horror movie?”

  “More like you’d be starring in a Lifetime Channel movie.”

  “And,” Arlene says, interrupting our babble, “we request you text us several times a day with specific information so we know you’re safe.”

  “Why specific?” Hagan asks immediately. “Oh, so Mad Dog can’t lock her in a sex dungeon and text you bland, ‘I love you, Mommy and Daddy’ messages. Gotcha. Very smart.”

  “We’re not worried about that,” Arlene says.

  Running a hand over his balding head, Phil frowns. “I am now.”

  “It’ll be fine,” I remind him. “You were at the Ranch last weekend. You know how normal they can be.”

  My parents share a look but don’t complain. They’ve spent the entire week pumping themselves up for this moment. I’m in love, and Mad Dog is my future. Everything will be okay.

  After hugging everyone goodbye, I promise to send specific texts when I get up and go to bed. Hagan will likely receive even more since I haven’t gone this long without talking to her. A whole weekend is a long time without her snarky mouth.

  Driving over, I get emotional for no reason. I guess I’m afraid a weekend together could be the dealbreaker we both claim isn’t possible. We’re so sure about our future, but we haven’t spent more than eight hours together.

  Arriving at the Ranch, I park in the visitor lot. I’m not comfortable enough to park next to Mad Dog’s house. I spot him hanging out near the lot, throwing a ball to a reddish-coated stray dog Bishop found walking by a road.

  Both man and animal look in my direction when I step out of the Terrain. Chucky wags his tail while Mad Dog shines with male glee. If his friends were nearby, he’d no doubt high-five them and pound on his chest in triumph. Yep, he finally has me to himself for the weekend.

  Heading in my direction, Mad Dog frowns suddenly. “You look nervous.”

  “I am.”

  “But I’m not scary.”

  I smile softly and lift my lips for a taste. Mad Dog’s flavor always settles my nerves.

  “Can we hide in your house tonight?”

  “Of course. With the townie party tomorrow, we should make the most of tonight’s quiet. We don’t even need to eat dinner at the Hanger.”

  I carry my small bag while he lugs my suitcase in his free hand. Chucky ditches us and runs after a cat. I smile at how the black feline climbs a tree and hisses down at the dog.

  “He just wants to lick her,” Mad Dog says. “Not bite, just lick. Chucky loves the taste of pussy as much as I do.”

  My cheeks burn red immediately. “I don’t know when I’ll stop blushing at the naughty things you say.”

  “No hurry. Your pink cheeks make my dick hard.”

  Once we’re inside his house, I shut the door and kneel down in front of him. I think of what Hagan suggested. While I can’t just drop his dick if he doesn’t say the words, maybe he’ll be more comfortable sharing his feelings after coating my throat with his cum. Mad Dog is usually quite agreeable after an orgasm. I know I sure as hell am.

  At first, he frowns at me on my knees. His breathing shifts at the feel of my fingers along the bulge growing in his pants. He slides hair from my face and watches me too intently.

  “Why?” he asks, worried for some reason.

  “This weekend is a big deal for me, and I love you.”

  Mad Dog’s dark eyes study me before he finally relaxes. “I’d rather you were in my bed where I could touch you.”

  “Soon.”

  For a moment, I start getting upset over how he can’t say the words. Focusing on his thick cock freed from his jeans, I don’t let myself cry. We’re still early in our relationship. We don’t have to say anything to make our time together perfect.

  His heady scent relaxes me. He murmurs my name while I suck him. With his size, I can’t leisurely blow him and let my mind wander.

  No, Mad Dog’s cock demands my full attention. I find a rhythm with my hands, stroking his balls, fisting his shaft. All while I drink down his pleasure.

  After licking the last drop from the head of his cock, I look up at him. Mad Dog kicks off his boots and jeans before picking me up into his arms.

  “Don’t leave my side this weekend,” he demands in a strained voice. “I want to feel you every moment. Do you understand?”

  Wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips, I smile and nod. Mad Dog can’t say, “I love you.” Maybe he doesn’t want to, or possibly he doesn’t know how. He didn’t grow up like I did, where “I love you” was offered easily. Mad Dog might not have it in him to say the words, even after we spend a lifetime together.

  But he shows me how much I mean to him in the way he tempts my body in bed and how he comforts me when I’m overwhelmed by the pleasure. And later, when we cuddle up in the family room and watch “The Sandlot.” And again, when we talk about sports, and I share how I wanted to be on a softball team, but there weren’t enough girls. His expression makes me think if he had the power to jump back in time and fix my problem, he would.

  Mad Dog needs me to be happy. I feel the same way about him. This is why I’ll accept whatever this amazing—yet tattered around the edges—man can offer.

  MAD DOG—BABY, I LOVE YOUR WAY

  My first night with Cameo erases any doubts I might still suffer. Her surprise blowjob at the front door knocks me off my plan for the evening. Sometimes, I worry Cameo does things only to please me.

  Once we’re in my bed, I take my time enjoying every inch of her delicious body. No woman’s ever been sexier. None have ever held my gaze and made me afraid to look away. I refuse to miss anything with Cameo. Every moment is the kind of perfect a man like me rarely gets in life.

  That night, Cameo and I watch a movie, fool around a whole bunch, and even sit on the porch listening to the classic rock playing over the Ranch’s speakers.

  “Do you like the music?” I ask while she cuddles up on my lap.

  “Is this the music of your youth?”

  “Baby, I’m not that old,” I say while she giggles at my expression. “When I was little, new wave and hair bands were popular. Maybe some headbanging stuff. I grew up w
ith grunge music, but that music never suited me. I prefer the classics from the 1970s.”

  “Oh, sorry. I don’t know a lot about music,” she says, kissing my cheek.

  “That’s why I want you living here. We’ll learn everything about each other.”

  Her blue eyes study my face. “What if we don’t like each other’s stuff?”

  “Are you shit-talking ‘The Sandlot’?” I ask, and she giggles again in her sweet voice I hear in my dreams.

  “No, I liked it, but what if we don’t like other stuff about each other?”

  “I’m not looking for us to have everything in common. I’ve already got friends, and you have your bestie,” I explain, sliding hair from her throat and kissing her collarbone. “You and I don’t need to be twins. We click on a deeper level. Music, movies, and other tastes, that’s superficial stuff.”

  Cameo studies my face and smiles in the most relaxed way. I worried she’d feel weird being away from home, but our first night is relaxed. The only time Cameo seems freaked out is in the middle of the night. She comes back from the bathroom and sits in bed.

  Caressing her bare back, I wait for her to settle down. “Bad dream?”

  “Your room is so much darker than I’m used to. I feel like I’m in a void,” she says, cuddling up with me.

  “We can change whatever you want.”

  When Cameo sighs, her breath tickles my chest hairs. “Pink sparkles and purple trim.”

  Though I wait for her to laugh at the idea, she remains silent. I assume she’s serious, so I imagine what that would look like. Then, I realize Cameo’s fallen back asleep.

  The next morning, she doesn’t remember any of it. An energetic Cameo bounces around while I shuffle our way to the Hanger for breakfast.

  “We shared our first night together,” she explains when I ask if she’s always this hyper in the morning.

  Sharing her grin, I guide her into the noisy Hanger, where everyone is already eating.

  As soon as we sit down with our plates across from Raqui and Cross, the little guy notices Cameo.

  “Where Hagan?” he asks immediately.