‘Seledrith was the woman Henrik spoke about in Jórvík. She was a Saxon, though her loyalties were not. Her father was a tradesman who made the finest tunics and cloaks. He didn’t care if his clients were Norse or Saxon as long as their coin was good. I met her in his shop. She worked there and, as I soon found out, she was generous with her favours.’
Ellan couldn’t contain her snort of derision. ‘How convenient for you.’
He touched her hand, a gentle pressure that bade her listen rather than commanded it. ‘She was a good woman. However, she was already several months gone with child when she came to me. Her father had found out and forced her out. She had nowhere to go, so asked to stay with me. She slept in my tent for a time, but I never made her promises. Believe me, if the child had been mine, I would have seen to its welfare. I know more than anyone how it feels to grow up without a father for protection.’
She wanted to believe him. His eyes begged her to. ‘How do I know that I can trust you?’
He smiled. ‘Because I haven’t lied to you. Aside from that, I have no reason to lie to you about Seledrith. We were together for a time because she had nowhere to go and didn’t deserve her father’s harsh treatment. When I left to come north, I settled coin on her so she wouldn’t have to worry about her immediate future.’
‘Why would you do that?’ Did his words ring true because they were true or because she so wanted them to be?
He shrugged and appeared slightly uncomfortable as he looked anywhere but her face. ‘She was—is—a good person. Why wouldn’t I help her if I have the means? I have more than earned my share of coin.’
She honestly didn’t know if she was glad for the story or not. It made her admire him more and she already admired him for so many reasons. He had comforted her after Elswyth’s disappearance and vowed to bring her sister back. He had pulled himself up in the world from a mere slave boy and had humbled himself to tell her that story to impress upon her that her own worth was more than the world would have her believe. Now she had to admire him for his generosity. She wasn’t so sheltered in her tiny village that she didn’t understand that Seledrith’s future, along with that of her child, had been greatly improved because of him.
Was it merely lust she felt if it was mixed with all of this?
Ellan nodded. Her hand turned so that the tips of his fingers rested against her palm. Whether it was an intentional move on her part, she couldn’t say. ‘That was generous of you.’
‘I’m not often called generous.’ He finally looked at her again, his gaze falling on to their hands and working up her arm to land on her face. ‘The names are usually worse.’
With those simple words, she smiled. The tension that existed between them started to crumble. She wanted to ask him if he’d heard Henrik’s proposal as well, but what did it really matter? But for the fact that she wanted to marry him, Aevir had no real place in her decision.
Instead, she asked the question pressing on her. ‘Why have you told me this?’
He held her gaze as he took in a breath. ‘Because I wanted you to know the truth.’
‘You could have allowed me to think what I would. You apparently allowed Henrik to believe what he wanted.’
Looking to the side, he took his hand away from hers. His fingertips brushed across her sensitive palm before they were gone. ‘You have enough reasons to believe me heartless. I didn’t want to give you one that wasn’t true.’
‘I don’t think you’re heartless.’ She reached for the sling that held his left arm tight to his side and gave the knot a tug. It slipped from his shoulder. ‘You were kind to me when Elswyth was missing.’
When he didn’t respond right away, she glanced up to meet his gaze. It looked troubled and his brow furrowed, as if he were trying to figure something out. ‘How young were you when your mother left?’ he asked.
Her fingers hesitated as she folded the strip of linen and set it aside. Talking to him so intimately would only lead her heart further into the fray, but she could not stop the need to answer him. ‘I’m uncertain, but I believe it was the summer of my sixth year.’ She meant to stop there, but the impulse to continue was too strong. ‘I awoke to my parents arguing late one night, so I crept closer to hear. I didn’t understand at the time, but now I believe she had fallen in love with a warrior. A group of Danes had camped near Banford. One of them must have caught her eye because she found herself with child and she believed that it belonged to the Dane. Father made her leave. She was conflicted, but she left.’
‘Leaving you with an embittered father.’
The anger in his voice surprised her. His face might have been made of stone, but his eyes blazed to match his tone. She immediately felt the need to defend her mother. ‘Well, aye, but I do not think that’s how she intended it. Perhaps she didn’t realise how neglectful he would be. Or perhaps living with him was too much for her. I’m sure you can imagine that he is not an easy man.’
‘And yet she left you with him. Do you not hate her for that?’
Mostly she felt alone and adrift in a world that seemed to have no place for her. She couldn’t tell him that, however. Instead, she said, ‘There have been times when I’ve felt angry. Elswyth wouldn’t speak of her for years. Eventually, I understood. Father is not a kind man. Even before she left, he was quick to temper, quicker to judge. Mother was not like that. She was loving and full of life. I think had she stayed he would have broken her. She left to save her own life and I cannot fault her for that.’
Aevir stared at her with an expression she could not fathom. It was completely unreadable and yet somehow revealed every emotion from anger, pity and heartbreak to wonder, admiration and a grim sort of hope. Put together she didn’t know what they meant, but she could not look away.
‘You are wiser than your years,’ he finally said, his voice gruff.
But still not enough for him.
Banishing the thought, she turned her attention to his shoulder. It was just as muscular as its counterpart even if the skin was still discoloured and bruised. Simply looking at it made her hurt, so she focused on retrieving a second cloth from the tray. Dipping it into the pot of water, she scooped up a small bit of soap from a bowl on the tray.
‘What are you doing?’ He was scowling at her again.
‘Washing you.’
‘Nay, there are a few things I can still do myself and bathing is one of them.’ In no uncertain terms, he took the cloth from her and gave a firm nod of his head towards the alcove’s entrance. ‘Go.’
Chapter Ten
Aevir waited until the blanket fell closed behind her to lean back against the wall. He closed his eyes as he battled the mixture of relief and regret that waged within him. The girl crept under his skin more and more with their every encounter. How was it that she was able to reach inside him and touch a heart that he had kept hidden for years?
As she spoke he could not help but imagine the child she must have been and his heart ached for that small girl. For the woman that child had become without her mother to guide her. He had very fond memories of his own mother. She had been a slave and her life hadn’t been easy, yet even then he couldn’t imagine a scenario in which she would have chosen to leave him behind. His mother had been the one constant in his life on which he could always depend.
Ellan must have been devastated at her mother’s abandonment. In some ways it was worse than death because the woman had chosen to do it, leaving her daughter alone and unloved with a father too bent on vengeance to nurture any affection for her. In fact, it sounded like her mother leaving might have made him exact petty vengeance every day on Ellan.
Sucking in a breath, he carried on with his bathing, scrubbing the cloth over his skin as hard as he could to stop the thoughts and emotions trying to find light within him. Ellan wasn’t his problem. He had found her sister and so his duty to her was over. He would not care
that perhaps another threat awaited her. Women were married off by their fathers every day. This Saxon he had found for her might turn out to be a very reasonable fellow.
And Hel’s hound was a gentle and affectionate pup.
With a growl of frustration, he tossed the washcloth across the room to land with a splat against the wall before it fell to the floor. After having nearly scrubbed the entire top layer of his skin off, he decided to test his leg. He wasn’t accustomed to being so sedentary. He kept himself strong with battle and sparring. They both kept his thoughts from meandering down paths that held no benefit to him. The girl was not his and he could not be hers. That was the end of it.
With a groan, he levered himself from the bed just as the front door opened. A blast of cold air swept inside, its icy fingers finding him in the alcove. It fluttered up the blanket he’d draped around his shoulders and reminded him that he desperately needed to find clothes.
The hard tread of a boot across the floor of the main room told him that his visitor was a man. Determined to stand up and greet the warrior with dignity, Aevir held the blanket closed with his lame arm and used his other to hold himself upright against the wall. His injured leg burned and protested, but he ignored the pain. Black spots swirled before his vision. He swayed on his feet and only just managed to catch himself on the bed as he fell back to land with a hard thud. Shaking his head to clear his vision, he managed to set himself to rights as the Jarl entered his alcove.
‘Aevir!’ The Jarl’s voice seemed to fill the entire house. ‘I didn’t think you’d be up. Ellan said you were improving, but I had no idea you were doing so well.’
‘Better, aye.’ Not very well, though. Aevir feared he had more recovery ahead of him than he had initially thought.
As if he read Aevir’s disgruntled expression, Jarl Vidar grinned and dropped to his haunches so as not to tower over him. ‘Recovery takes time. You were near death, my friend, until a determined Saxon wench saved you.’
Aevir couldn’t help his rueful smile. He really should feel more appreciative, and in his kinder moments he did, but he found it difficult to appreciate the close proximity to said wench that his recovery forced on him. ‘I’m aware of that. She told me herself.’
The Jarl laughed. ‘I don’t think humility is one of her virtues.’
Aevir shook his head. Would every conversation he had revolve around Ellan? ‘Tell me of our casualties. Were any men lost?’
The next several moments passed with talk of the wounded and the few who had been killed. That led to updates on the Scots’ movements and Rolfe’s men who had left that morning. ‘There doesn’t seem to be an imminent attack brewing. If Rolfe comes back and tells me that he saw no sign of a group, I’m going to push northwards. We’ll have men ready to move. I expect a messenger to return next week, though I doubt a meeting will be forthcoming without further threats.’
‘You hope to negotiate peace?’
Jarl Vidar shrugged. ‘Of sorts. The Scots have seemed happy to leave us be. I’d like to know why the sudden agitation.’
‘Do you suspect Godric has something to do with that?’
‘I do. He’s certainly an agitator. No Scot in his right mind would pass up the right to claim Banford if it’s promised to him. It would draw their border southwards, taking a bit of Alvey away from us piece by piece. I don’t think Godric planned on his village not coming with him to the Scot side. I’ve been impressed by the loyalty of the bulk of them.’ His gaze went up and down Aevir’s body as if taking stock of his injuries. ‘Particularly his daughters,’ he added.
And they were back to discussing Ellan. ‘You came to discuss her?’
The Jarl nodded and rose to his full height. It was subtle, but somehow his bearing changed from friend to Jarl in the blink of an eye. ‘I did. After you were moved here I had the opportunity to question Ellan about her father.’
A strange premonition came over him, and a genuine worry for her was his only concern. ‘You don’t think she has anything to do with him, do you? Because I can tell you—’
The Jarl shook his head and waved away that fear as he began to pace a shortened path back and forth in the small space. ‘Nay, the girl is true and loyal to us. I have no doubts about that. The issue is something she said.’
The earlier disquiet refused to leave Aevir. ‘What was that?’
‘Her father betrothed her to a Saxon man.’ Jarl Vidar paused, his gaze assessing as it slashed to Aevir.
Aevir nodded. There was no reason to tell the Jarl about her proposal to him.
‘Desmond, a village elder, is insisting that the match go through because the fellow is some relation of his. Ellan has made it known that she opposes this union. She made some mention of wanting to marry a Dane if given her choice. I almost think she had someone in mind. Do you know anything about that?’
Aevir had half-believed that Godric’s match wouldn’t be enforced. But if Desmond had taken the place of the village leader in Godric’s absence, he had every right to insist the betrothal be honoured, especially since the man was a relation.
‘Are you asking if the Dane is me?’ She must have meant him. Henrik hadn’t approached her with his offer until after her discussion with the Jarl.
Jarl Vidar shrugged. ‘Relations are precarious between us and the Saxons, particularly in Banford. You can see how this puts me in a difficult position. I’d like to honour Ellan’s wishes, but I’m not able to disregard Desmond or this Saxon if he decides to make his claim.’ Taking a long slow look at Aevir, he added, ‘Given the way she stormed in and took charge of your care...well, I wondered if something had happened in Alvey between you. Something that made her feel there was some connection.’
Aevir swallowed, pressing his tongue against the roof of his mouth as he deliberated on how much to tell the man. He himself didn’t understand what was between him and Ellan, so he didn’t know how to explain it to the Jarl. In the end, he decided to tell him everything.
‘I have made her no promises or declarations, but we have shared a kiss. Otherwise, she is untouched by my hand. Before leaving Alvey, she confessed to me her father’s plan to marry her off and asked if I would be willing to marry her.’ He took a breath as this was the part Jarl Vidar would find issue with, but honesty was his only choice. He wasn’t in the habit of hiding secrets from the man. ‘I told her nay, but offered to make her my concubine instead.’
Fury and disbelief coloured the Jarl’s features. ‘You offered to take an innocent as your concubine?’
Put that way, his offer seemed even more egregious than he had originally thought it to be. ‘It would have helped her and I would have come to you for your agreement had she accepted.’
‘You were told that the sisters are to be left alone, were you not?’
Aevir ground his molars together, unaccustomed to having his actions questioned and being in the wrong. ‘Aye, I was and I understand I went against your wishes. My only defence is that I believed she was worth the risk.’
‘Worth the risk? You went against a direct command.’ The Jarl’s voice was biting.
‘I know.’ His reactions to the girl were irrational at best, dangerous at worst. ‘I will accept whatever punishment you deem suitable.’
Though the Jarl’s brow was furrowed, he no longer appeared furious. ‘Since you didn’t come to me after, I assume she told you nay?’
‘She refused. It seems that she prefers the permanence of marriage.’
‘She’s an intelligent woman.’ The Jarl let out a breath and his brow smoothed. ‘Then you think it was you she meant?’
Aevir nodded. ‘Likely. What did you tell her when she made the claim?’ Aevir couldn’t help himself. He had to know if the Jarl would force her to marry the Saxon.
‘I was non-committal. The truth is I’m not certain she won’t have to follow through with the marriage. However
, I wanted to know your feelings on the matter before making up my mind. You’re fine with it moving forward?’
His fists tightened around the blanket before he could stop them. If imagining her with Henrik was bad, thinking of her with a Saxon was worse, especially since she was unwilling. There was a slight waver in his voice when he spoke. ‘The girl should be allowed to marry as she chooses.’
Jarl Vidar nodded. ‘No doubt my wife shares your sentiments. I, however, am forced to consider diplomacy and can’t make that guarantee. There is this, though.’
He began to pace again and Aevir watched him avidly, only just managing not to urge him to continue. Finally, the man said, ‘I overheard one of your men. Henrik, I believe is his name. He was speaking to a friend and mentioned that he’d asked Ellan to marry him. I suppose it was a gesture to save her from the Saxon. He seems a noble warrior and I think he took a fondness to her on the trip here.’
‘The trip here?’ How well had Henrik and Ellan become acquainted?
‘Aye, he accompanied her to Banford. Seems quite taken with her.’
Although Aevir had only heard them and not seen them the night before, he could imagine the deer-eyed boy gazing upon Ellan with admiration and obedience. It made his stomach roll with nausea. ‘Nay.’
The word came out with such force that Jarl Vidar stopped his pacing to look down at Aevir. ‘You object to their marriage?’
‘Henrik is not to marry her. He’s a fine warrior. I need him with me against the Scots, not pining over a new wife he’s left behind.’
‘Many warriors wed and continue to fight.’
‘Not Henrik. He’s still a boy. Give him a few years and I think he could manage it. Marriage now would be bad for him. It would soften his focus, soften his arm, lead him down a bad path.’
The Jarl didn’t smile, but there was amusement in his eyes. ‘You were wed before. You couldn’t have been much older than Henrik.’
Longing for Her Forbidden Viking Page 10
