Before I Called You Mine

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Before I Called You Mine Page 33

by Nicole Deese


  To Coast to Coast Plotter’s Society: Christy Barritt, Connilyn Cossette, Amy Matayo, Tammy Gray. Five years! WOW! Now that’s something awesome to celebrate! Thank you for the many hours you’ve dedicated to brainstorming this story with me and for all your enthusiasm and support. Can’t wait for May!

  To Jessica Kirkland: I vividly recall our phone conversation when I told you we were pursuing international adoption. I’d worried that you’d be concerned about the future of my career since adopting would mean a big break in my production schedule, but instead you so selflessly assured me that writing could wait and that Lucy could not. Thank you for your wisdom and guidance, in both my profession and personal life, and for being the best agent I could ever hope for!

  To Raela Schoenherr, Acquisitions Editor: Thank you for saying yes to an early breakfast date one September morning and for ultimately saying yes to me. I’m honored to call you my editor.

  To the dedicated team members at Bethany House Publishers: You’ve made my dreams for this story come true . . . and then some. Thank you for all the hours you’ve spent bringing Lauren’s story to life and for cheering me on along the way. You’re all awesome!

  To Santha Yinger: I’m pretty sure by now I owe you somewhere in the ballpark of three million dollars for all the therapy and spiritual mentorship you’ve given me over the years. But here’s hoping a yummy meal at Fire Pizza and a signed book might keep me in the black for another year. I cannot express how much your listening ear, prayer, and sound biblical advice have meant to me. You are my real-life Gail Cartwright (times ten), and I wouldn’t want to do life without you. Thank you for leading well and for loving like Jesus.

  To Daryla Collodi: For the COUNTLESS number of prayers you offered up for my little Lucy Mei during our journey . . . and especially the ones you offered up for her anxiety-ridden mother. You took such amazing care of us during our transition home, and we will never forget your MANY dinner deliveries (my boys still talk about your homemade cinnamon rolls)! Thank you, also, for giving me a nonjudgmental shoulder to cry on when I needed it most and for always, always directing me back to the feet of Jesus. I love you and miss you dearly, friend.

  To my Life Group at RLM: You gals and guys rock! You’ve prayed with me, cried with me, laughed with me, and eaten way too much dessert with me. And I’m so grateful for the many seasons of life we’ve shared together.

  To my early readers and influencers: Amy Matayo, Ashley Espinoza, Becky Wade, Bobbi Deitz, Carrie Schmidt, Carmen Hendewerk, Jessica Wardell, Joanie Schultz, Kacy Gourley, Kara Isaac, Kedron Annotti, Kristin Avila, Lara Arkin, Laurie Tomlinson, Renee Deese, Susie May Warren, and my entire tribe at Nicole’s Book Nook. Thank you for your ongoing support of Contemporary Christian Fiction and for your faithfulness in sharing your love of reading with friends, family, and abroad. You make it possible for me to live my dreams.

  To Rel Mollet: Thank you for being the best author assistant an unorganized gal like me could hope for, and thank you for sending me timely, encouraging emails from across the world exactly when I needed them most. You are my favorite Australian. (Shhh, don’t tell the others.)

  To Holt International Adoption Agency and their awesome social worker Amy Castle: Not only do I need to thank you for verifying my facts and going over my story premise and conflict, but also for the dedicated service you and your fellow staff members provide to families all across the country every single day. It is no wonder Holt has such a highly esteemed reputation . . . it’s because of social workers like you, Amy. You helped us every step of the way when we adopted our precious Lucy Mei, and we are forever in your debt.

  Author’s Note

  From the moment I started writing Lauren’s story, I knew at some point I would need to put down my author pen (or my MacBook—yet that never sounds quite as romantic) and share a different kind of story with you. Not one I’ve written, but one God has been authoring in my life since August 4th of . . . an undisclosed year in the early 1980s. Before I Called You Mine is my tenth novel. And while I’m usually partial to my most recent manuscript, there is something vastly different about this story’s hold on my heart. Because so much of the journey found in these pages—of this struggle to live out the kind of faith that often calls us to the edges of ourselves—is my story, too.

  In the summer of 2017, my husband and I flew to China to adopt our daughter, Lucy Mei, after eleven long months of prayer, paperwork, and only a handful of pictures of a tiny girl living in an orphanage far, far away. Lucy was just shy of seven years old at the time, spoke only Mandarin, and knew very little of what living in a family—with a father and mother and two older brothers—would be like. And yet her courage to trust us (which I assure you took longer than the reading of this novel) and allow us to guide her into a world where nothing felt familiar, easy, or comfortable is a testimony of faith that continues to challenge and convict me often.

  And while saying yes to God’s call to partner with Him and adopt Lucy into our family has radically transformed our lives, my prayer and intention for this story has never been about persuading my reader to adopt a child from overseas. (Though if that’s what God is calling you to do, then w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l!!! Consider this my hug to you!) But my ultimate hope for this story isn’t about the events of the climax at all; it’s about you. Specifically, it’s about a question I hope you’ll ask yourself: What is the hard that God’s asking me to partner with Him in?

  Sure, it could be something involving a social justice matter, or maybe it’s an investment of time or money in a ministry organization God keeps impressing upon your heart. Or maybe it’s something closer to home, like committing to love and pursue that one cranky neighbor who yells at you to slow down! even when you’re driving at a snail’s pace. Or maybe it’s something far more personal that He’s asking you to trust Him in—a difficult relationship in need of loving boundaries, a broken marriage in need of forgiveness, a struggling child in need of extra grace.

  God doesn’t look for perfect people to share in His redemptive story (you only have to read the first three chapters of Genesis for proof of that). Instead, He searches the earth, looking to “strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him” (2 Chronicles 16:9).

  The character of Lauren Bailey isn’t perfect, either—she was insecure, anxious, avoidant, doubtful, fearful, and failed often. Yet her story, much like my own—and perhaps much like your own, too—is marked by the redemptive power of Christ and His love for us all, His chosen children.

  Now, nearly three years post-adoption, when I look at our beautiful, healthy nine-year-old daughter, the fog of forgetfulness often hovers close. The hard that God has taken us through is a little further away, yet I will myself to remember where we’ve been and where He’s taken us. Because God’s best for us rarely comes without the stretching, and it’s in those stretching seasons, those periods of complete and utter dependence on God’s faithfulness, that He holds our hearts and molds them into a shape that only He can fill.

  Wherever you’re at on your partnership journey with Christ today, please know you can trust Him. You can trust Him to take your doubts, your fears, and your ten thousand reasons of why you couldn’t possibly be the right candidate for His calling on your life, and allow Him to create the kind of story only heaven can script.

  In His perfect love,

  Nicole Deese

  Nicole Deese’s (www.nicoledeese.com) humorous, heartfelt, and hope-filled novels include the 2017 Carol Award–winning A Season to Love. Her 2018 release, A New Shade of Summer, was a finalist in the RITA Awards, Carol Awards, and INSPY Awards. Both of these books are from her bestselling LOVE IN LENOX series. When she’s not working on her next contemporary romance, she can usually be found reading one by a window overlooking the inspiring beauty of the Pacific Northwest. She lives in small-town Idaho with her happily-ever-after hubby, her two wildly inventive and entrepreneurial sons, and her princess daughter with the heart of a warrior.

  Nicol
eDeese.com

  Instagram: Bethany House Fiction

  Resources: bethanyhouse.com/AnOpenBook

  Newsletter: www.bethanyhouse.com/newsletter

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  Table of Contents

  Cover

  Endorsements

  Half Title Page

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  Contents

  Epigraph

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  Acknowledgments

  Author’s Note

  About the Author

  Back Ads

  Back Cover

  List of Pages

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