by Clara Reese
We have no choice. Sooner or later someone would come looking for us. I prefer to meet them on our own terms and fully dressed instead of laying on the bed with our clothes strewn all about the room.
Dawn gets out of the bed before I do. My heart is still pounding and my body is light in the the afterglow. As short-lived as that feeling is, I will hold on to it for as long as I can.
Her shoulders are tense. I second the feeling of dread. No one wants us to be here. Or rather, no one wants me to be here with Dawn. I’m a wrench in their plans to convince her to marry Larry and live the white picket-fenced life they want her to.
My heart hurts at the thought, at the rejection so clear on the faces of every single person out there. They just cannot accept that Dawn is happy with me. Could be even happier if it weren’t for the charade we’re putting on for them. They can’t believe that we might actually be in love.
I know I am.
“C’mon, Gina,” Dawn sighs as she fixes her bra and pulls her shirt back over her head, “We need to get back out there.”
“I know. But it’s so much nicer in here.” I try for light comedy but it falls flat, even to my own ears. This night is a wreck, and I fear it’s only going to get worse.
Sighing, I get out of the bed and start to pull my own clothing back on. Dawn fixes her hair and makeup in the mirror above the dresser.
Walking over to her, I lean in and place a soft kiss on her cheek, “Let’s just...have another glass of wine and then call it a night? You made your appearance, there’s nothing left to do except let them belittle us further.”
“You’re right...it is that simple, isn’t it?” Dawn shook her head, as though she didn’t believe it or she was still stuck on the vicious words from earlier. “It is.” I agree, rubbing a soothing circle on her back.
Dawn turns and runs her hands through my hair. It’s comforting even if I know she’s just brushing out the wild and tangled mess that it had become from rolling around in the sheets. Taking a step back, Dawn nods and smiles softly,
“Alright. Let’s go face the music.”
She takes my hand in a death grip and together we make our way out of the room and down the hall towards the crowd.
I can hear them talking and not at all trying to hide what they’re saying. Speculations and nasty remarks about Dawn and me. It hurts. My heart hurts for Dawn. No one should be treated like this from anyone but especially not their family.
Dawn’s hold on my hand tightens to the point that it stings. I let her and gently return her grip with a reassuring squeeze of my own.
All pairs of eyes turn to look at us, as we step back into the main room. The conversations slowly whisper out into silence, and the laughing stops. The amount of judgment and shade being thrown at us with just their expressions is, honestly, remarkable. I didn’t know this much hatred could be directed at two people.
I don’t know if I even want a drink anymore. I might just end up throwing the expensive red wine in the face of the first person who talks to me. Not that anyone is going out of their way to speak to either one of us directly. Not at the moment, anyway.
Thankfully, I am not holding a drink. Because it’s not long after the conversations have started back up again that Dawn’s father walks over to us. He’s frowning and has a long crease in his forehead from where his brows drop to meet between his eyes.
“Dawn,” he starts. His voice is low, like he’s trying to keep the conversation private but he also isn’t trying too hard. Any one of them could have been listening to what he’s saying under the pretense of not being able to make out the exact words, “Gina.” He says my name like he is scraping it off of his tongue with his teeth, like it leaves a bitter aftertaste in his mouth. Good.
Warner places a hand on Dawn’s shoulder and leads us to the other side of the room. At least over here the unwanted ears can’t hear. Even if they all take turns looking over to see what’s going on. Joke’s on them; even I don’t know what this about and I’m a part of the situation.
Dawn’s father takes a deep breath and lets it out in harsh sigh. I can smell the wine on his breath. No doubt from having to drink a few glasses working up the nerve to come within even a foot of our still-clasped hands.
“Dawn,” he starts again, “I have a proposition for you.” Warner doesn’t even look at me. His eyes are fixed on his daughter’s.
Dawn raises an eyebrow, her hand once again squeezing around mine, “Why...why do you have one of those?”
Warner shakes his head, “Because you’re my daughter, and despite all,” he looks at me with disgust, “this, I still love you.”
The man must be drunk. Dawn looks like she wants to believe his words but can’t quite bring herself to do it fully. To fully trust that the intentions here are good. Though I’m sure in his own mind, what Warner thinks he’s doing is good.
He leans in close, hand on her shoulder, “I can tell Larry to stop.”
“To stop?” Dawn asks, head tilting to the side as the corner of her lips tilt into a small yet confused frown.
Warner nods, “Yes. I can tell him to back off completely. The chalet is yours. I can make it so nothing he says or does will hurt you or your business.”
The skepticism on her face grows with each word. Just like the pit in my stomach keeps opening wider and wider. I have a feeling I know where this is leading. It makes my heart beat faster and my palm sweat in our shared grip.
“Okay, you can do that. How is this a proposition?”
“Dawn, I-” I start to speak but Warner cuts me off by clearing his throat.
“End the facade. Don’t keep pretending you’re getting married.” He gestures between us and stares pointedly at our tangled fingers, “Call this off, and I will call Larry off.”
My heart stops. I knew it was coming, I fucking knew those were going to the be the words out of his mouth. Why not simply let Dawn live the life she wants? Free of harassment from her shitty cousin, free of the judgment of her jealous mother and overzealous family. No, Dawn wasn’t allowed to have any of that.
The seconds tick loudly from the clock above the mantle and, with each one, my patience dwindles.
I turn to look at Dawn, expecting her to have laughed off the suggestion by now, but no. My stomach sinks at the look of contemplation on her face. She is actually thinking about taking his offer!
Dropping our hands is what finally breaks her thoughts, and she looks at me with a pout. “Gina-”
“No.” I snap, not at all trying to keep the hurt out of my voice and the pain from my eyes. It’s too much. “After everything...” Everything that we went through, that I did – that she did – to get to where we are now, Dawn is going to throw it all away. She’s going to let her father win.
He knows it too. There is a spark to his eyes that hadn’t been there minutes before.
“Gina, please-”
“I don’t want to hear it, Dawn.” I shake my head and run a hand through my hair, taking stock of the time. Carlos’s surgery...I wonder if I can still make it. “Never again. I never want to hear from you.”
I break free of her hold. When did she grab my hand again? I don’t even know. All I know at this moment is that I need to leave. I need to get to the hospital and be with my family.
“Gina, wait!” Dawn calls after me.
I stop in the doorway, turning to face her one last time. “Stay here, Dawn. I am going to be with my own family. Where I should have been all along, but instead I came here with you because...”
Because I love you. I don’t say it. It hurts too much to even think it.
Without another thought I turn and leave, slamming the door to the condo behind me.
31
Dawn
“Gina, wait!” I call after her retreating form. But it’s too late. The door slams behind her and my heart breaks.
The room falls silent in the minutes that tick by. I can feel their eyes boring into the back of my head. They’re all waiting
for me to say something, I know it. To say that it’s over, that everything has been called off. That I am going to accept my father’s offer.
I’m not. Plain and simple.
The fact that he even suggested it makes my stomach churn with disgust. As much as I want Larry to stop harassing me...I want Gina even more. A thousand times more.
I can’t believe Gina thinks I’m going to accept his offer. That I would give up everything she and I have accomplished, and everything we have yet to conquer, just to keep the chalet. That she assumes my speechlessness was actually contemplation. Like I was mentally weighing the pros and cons of staying with her versus letting her go.
I could never do that to her.
I love her.
“You’re making the right choice.” My father’s voice cuts through the quiet room, followed closely by a chorus of soft agreements. His hand is heavy on my shoulder. What he thinks is reassurance simply sets my skin on fire. I shrug out of his hold and turn to face him with a fire in my eyes.
“Choice? I never made a choice, never gave you an answer.” I snap, eyes narrowing in anger as I take a step back. A step towards the door.
“Dawn, be reasonable,” He chides. “This thing that you’re pretending to have with that woman. After all the press you’ve gotten, for it to be false will dishonor this family. Pretending to be engaged to someone...it’s wrong. It’s shameful.”
“No, father,” I shake my head and run a hand through my hair, trying not to cry out hysterically. “What you and Larry are doing, that’s what’s shameful.”
I look back at the door, wondering if Gina is still standing behind it or if she’s already left. Maybe I’ll get lucky one last time and she’ll still be in the parking garage when I get down there.
“Dawn...now you can have a chance at a proper family.” My mother speaks up, coming to stand beside my father. She wraps her arms around his right arm and stands closer than she needs to. I’m can’t tell if it’s because of the wine consumption or because she’s trying to play up her idea of perfect.
“I don’t care about proper. I care about Gina.”
“Like she cares about you? Cares enough to leave you alone. It’s the one thing either of you have done right all night.”
I turn my head and glare at Larry, as he comes up to stand on the other side of my father and cross his arms. His presence is what finally makes me snap completely.
“Go to hell.”
“Dawn!”
“I mean it, mother.” I look at my father and shake my head, “You think that you’re so powerful, because you have your name on the side of a building. But you’re not.” Taking a step forward, I point my finger at him, cutting him off as he opens his mouth, “You think that you can keep your thumb on my life, on my business, all because I never wanted to be a lawyer.”
“Dawn-”
“I’m not finished.” My voice has dropped; gone is the panicked yelling and in its place is a soft and terrifying calm. “You’re the reason, father, that I never took any interest in law. Even if I had, I wouldn’t want to work at the family firm. I could never bring myself to work for a man with morals as loose as yours. You make me sick.”
“Don’t speak to your father like this.” My mother’s voice is shaking. She’s just as angry as I am, though for the opposite reason. I have the feeling that she knew about his offer. That he was going to make an attempt to get me to stop seeing Gina with a deal he thought I wouldn’t be able to refuse. Surprise.
“Are you done yet?” Warner asks as he slips his arm out of my mother’s grasp and crosses them both over his chest. “Are you going to be smart, Dawn, and accept what I am giving to you? Or are you going to continue acting like a spoiled little girl who just had their favorite toy taken away?”
My blood boils, and I clench my hands at my sides, nails biting into the soft palms of my hands. I take a deep breath and look him square in the eye, “I am done. I’m done with all of you. Go ahead, sic Larry on me. Drag my name through the mud. I don’t care. I’m not going to break up with Gina.”
I’m not going to be the one to end this. I refuse to believe that I cannot salvage our relationship. I just need to get to her, to find Gina and explain to her what happened. Tell her that, if she had simply waited a few more moments, that she would have heard everything I just said. She would know first hand that I am choosing her over literally everything in my life.
I make my way out of the condominium, ignoring their calls to come back. The door closing behind me blocks out the shrill noise of my mother’s theatrical sobbing.
Bouncing from foot to foot, I wait impatiently for the elevator to reach the floor. Everything is taking too long. It may have only been a handful of minutes but there is no doubt in my mind that I am going to get down to the parking lot and find out that Gina is gone. I’m still holding out hope that I will simply find her crying softly in the car.
No such luck.
Stepping into the parkade I look around for Gina’s vehicle. It’s gone. My heart sinks as I make my way up to ground level and exit the building from the main doors. The night is quiet with the low hum of traffic on surrounding streets. Still no sign of Gina.
I can’t let it end like this. Hell, I can’t let it end, period.
I don’t know what I will do if I can’t wake up to her smiles, her warm kisses and soft touches. My soul aches with the longing and feeling of loneliness that has already started to grip around my heart.
At the very least I need to explain to her what happened. To apologize for tonight. For keeping her away from her family in order to be with me while I appeased my own.
Taking out my cell phone, I dial the number for the local taxi company and quickly give them the address for the building.
“We will have a car to you in a few minutes.” The dispatcher says on the other side of the line and I let out a soft breath,
“Thank you,” I whisper as I hang up and put the phone back in my pocket. I start to chew on my thumbnail. A few minutes isn’t a long time, especially when so much time has already elapsed. I still can’t help but gnaw like the anxious wreck I’m becoming.
I do hope that Gina was able to get to the hospital okay. That she is with her mother and siblings, and that Carlos’ surgery went smoothly.
I take my phone out once more and open to Gina’s contact information. I hover my thumb over the call button for a second before pressing it. It rings several times before the voicemail answers. I hang up without leaving a message. What I have to say is best said in person.
The taxi arrives and I get in, half shouting, “Hospital...please,” at the poor man before the door is even closed behind me.
I try Gina’s phone again. Still no answer. I wait a few more seconds and then try once more. They say insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result. I’m trying to stay positive in the hopes that Gina will eventually pick up.
32
Gina
I don’t think I’ve ever been so fucking angry in my life. I have to be careful about my speed as I drive because my fury makes me want to tear around the corners in Dawn’s stupid fast, beautiful car. I’m not going to crash on my way to the hospital, though. That’s not the way I’m going to go.
Leaving Dawn behind without a ride doesn’t make me feel even an iota of guilt. She can afford the taxi. I’m not going to waste any more of my emotional energy on her.
It’s not like I’ve stolen the car anyway. She’ll get it back, along with everything else. The dress, the ring, and everything else she’s bought for me during this sham of a relationship...I’m going to box up and drop at her doorstep as soon as I leave the hospital. The idea of keeping any of it longer than I have to sticks in my throat and makes me want to scream.
After everything we went through together, after how close we got to each other, and after how she made me feel, I can’t believe she would throw me away for her father just like that! I had thought I meant something to her,
maybe not as much as she meant to me, but certainly more than that.
She always talked about how cold and officious her family is, and how she hated the way they made everything about money, but the moment her father offers to make her problems go away, she’s willing to throw away everything we’ve worked for and kick me out into the cold?
Fuck her.
The car dashboard lights up. It’s one of the new models with a car phone built in, and I synced it up to my phone the minute I got into the car in case there was any news on Carlo during the drive. Dawn’s name pops up for what feels like the seventeenth time. She’s been calling pretty constantly and like hell am I picking up for her.
She used me. All this time I thought she saw me as a person and that we were in it together, trying to win one over on her uncle and her dick of a cousin, and all this time she just saw me as a member of the help that she could throw away as soon as I outlived my usefulness.
But that doesn’t make me half as angry as that I let myself be convinced. I let myself fall in love with her, I let myself believe that it was all for real no matter how often she reminded me that we were in a fake relationship.
I even let her convince me to be away on the day of Carlo’s operation. Instead of standing with my family at a time like this I was letting myself get screwed over by a rich woman who didn’t care a fuck about me.
Dammit.
I switch the car phone over to call mode and dial in my Mama’s number by heart. It’s time I put my attention back where it should have been all the time. We’ll get the money together for the operation somehow.
“Bambina?” My mother’s voice is thick, like she’s been crying, and my heart squeezes in panic.
“Mama?” I say, my voice sharp. “Is it Carlo? Is he…is he okay? Has something gone wrong? I’m on my way now!”
