by Nicole Thorn
“That probably doesn’t make our snacks look good,” I pointed out to her. “You should be eating jerky.”
She didn’t look up at me. “I should be eating product you could sell? How about you go pull a Pooh Bear and stick your hand in a jar of honey if you wanna make our stuff look dope? I’ll stick with my Cheetos, thanks.”
I sat back hard against the chair, staring at the parking lot. I shouldn’t have been so snippy, but I couldn’t help it. We made so, so much less money since losing our spot, and that meant much less money I could put in my apartment fund. I was screwed.
“Stop tapping your foot on the street,” Bea said. “You look like a crack addict.”
I put my hand on my knee, trying to still it. I focused on the pet store down the street, hoping that would chill out my nerves. It had been Beatrice’s idea that we come here today, since they were doing a puppy adoption. To her credit, it worked out better than any of the other places so far. But the adoption drive only lasted a day, and we would be right back to the drawing board in the morning. I felt guilty for profiting off puppies forced to be outside in the heat.
Bea yawned, crossing and uncrossing her legs as she sipped on lemonade that Sam had brought. Special, awesome Sam. Sam that was apparently so freaking great that his ex still wanted to be best friends with him after a breakup. Wow, I could only imagine being liked that much.
“Goddammit,” Bea said. When I looked to her, she had her eyes on me. “I’ve never seen you so keyed up. Is it just about the money? You know I can cover it now. Mom and Dad told you like three times that they would be fine, even if you made nothing.”
Right, but the AC bill would kick right up in the middle of summer, so we wouldn’t be fine for long. I appreciated my parents trying to make me feel better about being an all-around failure, but it wouldn’t work.
“It’s nothing,” I lied.
Bea knew instantly. “It’s just a couple of weeks. We’ll find something that works for you. I know it. We can survive a couple of weeks like this.”
I had more to worry about than just that. I had this huge goal in mind, and literally only one person other than me even knew about it. What would happen when the time came for me to leave and I hadn’t told my family? I knew they would be hurt. But I couldn’t even bring it up to them without everyone telling me I didn’t need to leave. I really, really did need to leave. Even AJ would tell me that he would be fine. It wasn’t fine that he didn’t have his own space. I could have offered to share with Dee Dee, but my parents wouldn’t let that happen. AJ wouldn’t let it happen. They would insist I kept my room for myself.
I went back to staring at puppies. I got to watch a few of them get adopted out to people who seemed nice. It made me think of Cullen, and how sad it would be when I left and didn’t have a dog anymore. He had long since moved past being a puppy, but he was still a good dog. He probably would think I’d abandoned him when I left. Then he’d start hating me, and I’d have one less friend on an already short list.
Sighing, I sat back again, tilting my head up at the gray sky. I wished for rain, but that would be a mixed blessing. The winds would rip trees out of the ground and sent signs flying through the air. That kind of thing seemed cool when you were a kid. Not so much when you got older and had people you loved driving in that weather. Also, my bees would have to be moved if it got too crazy.
Finally, I felt somewhat calm again. The puppies helped, and so did the wind. I could zone out and pretend that my life was a lot less complicated and stressful than it was. It wouldn’t be forever. I knew that. But at the moment, I wanted to throw up.
I heard footsteps inside the RV before Sam and Hamilton came out together. They both approached the table with a new sign I supposed they must have been working on. Hamilton started hanging it up.
“I thought I would try a price drop on the jerky,” he said to me. “I don’t know if you want to do it with the honey.”
I took a deep breath, considering it. “How much do you suggest?”
He made a face. “A few bucks.”
I winced.
“Yeah, I know. But wouldn’t it be worth it if you could clean out your supply and sell out more often?”
The cost of the jars would still have been covered, as well as the labels. It was more for the hours of labor that came with it, and it wasn’t like I had anything better to do with my time than make honey.
Before I could open my mouth, Bea said, “No way. Neither of you should have to drop your prices. You bust your ass for this stuff. I’m not letting the old people looking for a deal take advantage of your desperation.”
“But stuff could sell better,” Sam said. “It’s worth trying for at least a day.”
Bea had a frown on her face. “I hate this.”
“You and me both,” Hamilton said. “Doesn’t mean I get away with not doing it.”
Sam put a hand on his shoulder, giving a sigh. “If it makes you feel better, I think this’ll work.”
“Do you?” Hamilton asked, his voice flat.
“Sure.” Sam started absentmindedly running his fingers up and down the back of Hamilton’s neck. My eyes laser-focused on that, watching every single move he made. Sam didn’t even look aware of the contact, but I wanted to know if Hamilton noticed. If he did, he didn’t say anything.
Something kicked me, and I turned to see Bea staring at me funny. She mouthed the words, what are you staring at. I ignored her, going back to glaring at the wandering hand. Now, Sam leaned on Hamilton. Why did he just let him do that? I didn’t get it.
My foot started tapping again, my body tense as if someone had wound up all my gears and pulled them to a complete stop at the peak of irritation. I wanted to growl.
I looked at Bea again, and I saw her eyes flickering to Sam, then me, then Sam again. Wheels turned in her head, but they didn’t need to. I didn’t know what she thought she put together, but I would have liked her to stop.
She closed her book.
“Hey, Sammy,” Bea said, standing up. “Can you do me a favor?”
He looked at her with scrutinizing eyes. “What’s in it for me?”
“I won’t beat your ass. I need you to walk with me over to the store so I can get more water for the RV. I don’t like walking around parking lots alone.”
Surprisingly, he decided to give her that small favor. He walked over to her, and the two paused for a few seconds. Hamilton didn’t pay attention, but I sure didn’t miss it when my sister whispered in Sam’s ear. He looked back at us, and I barely glanced away in time.
I was alone with Hammy after that, and he took Bea’s seat beside me. I felt like I should have said something, but nothing came to mind. I stared at the puppies again.
“Obviously, you don’t have to change your prices,” Hammy said. “I just think it wouldn’t be a terrible idea to test it.”
It probably wouldn’t have been, but it still carved out a piece of my soul to think about it. “Shit, I still have to pay off all those repairs on my truck. Now is a bad time to cut prices.”
“Better to sell ten jars for cheap than three at full price.”
He had a point, which worried me. I got up and went over to the sign he’d just made. I didn’t have a pen, but he did, showing up behind me to hand it over. He held the sign straight for me while I knocked a few bucks off my honey.
“That felt awful,” I groaned, bent over the table while I prayed for the coming rain to drown me.
Hammy patted my back. “Do I need to bring you another beer?”
I looked up only to glower at him. “You are a monster.”
He grinned at me. It did a funny thing to my stomach. I didn’t like it, nor did I know why it happened.
By the time my sister got back, we’d sold another couple of jars and packs of jerky. It didn’t feel good, getting so much less, but at least stuff had started selling. Bea sighed at the price drop, but she didn’t fight me on it.
“Can you help me with the wat
er?” Bea asked me.
I hauled up one of the cases of bottled water she’d bought, and we walked into the RV with them. We had a whole separate cooler for our food and drinks, so we only had to load it up and we’d be all set for the rest of the day.
“Thanks,” I said as we each ripped a case open together, sitting on the floor of the RV. “I keep forgetting to drink water.”
“Yeah. Do you have a thing for Hamilton?”
If I had food in my mouth, I would have choked. “Um… what?”
She smiled widely. “Come on, Jay. You get extra pissy every time Sam gets close to Hamilton. See? I figured it out.”
“You figured out nothing,” I said, sounding way too defensive.
Bea whispered, “You wanna make out with Hamilton! Oh, you really, really do. You wanna take naps with him and buy a dog.”
“Fuck you.”
She gasped, putting a hand to her chest. “What would Hammy say, Jay?”
“Beatrice, knock it off.”
“I shall not!” she declared. “What’s wrong with liking him? Nothing. Nothing is the answer.”
“Everything is the answer. Everything would be wrong. For one, he’s a jerk.”
“He’s not.”
“He hates me.”
“He doesn’t even kind of hate you.”
I huffed. “He certainly doesn’t like me. No one likes me. I went through all of high school and literally no one was into me. What makes you think that the first guy I talk to out of school would even humor the idea?”
Bea set down the last of the water inside the cooler. “It’s not like I’ve talked to him about it, but I bet he’s not as opposed as you might think. And also, you wouldn’t know if anyone in school liked you. You didn’t even try to make friends.”
“I was busy. Ya know, working.”
“Right, but a lot of kids have jobs and friends too. I think you didn’t want friends because it was easier to not have any. Well, you can’t do that anymore. You need someone to talk to who isn’t your sister. Sam agrees.”
It felt like my insides caught on fire. She’d been alone with Sam. Alone with him, and with all this nonsense floating around in her head. For all I knew, he sat outside, grilling Hamilton about the same stuff Bea was trying to get me to talk about. Sam didn’t have the delicacy not to blow up the fragile partnership we had going.
I ran out of the RV in seconds.
I came to a stop before I could look like a crazy person, taking a breath and smoothing my sweaty hands down my pants. Sam and Hamilton sat far away, too far for me to hear what they said. It didn’t look like Sam had started trouble, but I couldn’t tell for sure. I would have to sneak over and listen to really know.
God, I hated him standing so close to Hamilton. I really didn’t know why, but it set my teeth on edge. I started thinking about how they’d been a couple. A real couple. Probably one that had laid in bed together, experiencing things more intimate than I would ever get to know. I had no place trying to get between them for any reason. Really, I needed to leave.
“Jay,” Hamilton said when I turned around, my back to him. I thought I heard the sound of shoes on gravel. “Sam said you needed a ride to the car place later.”
“My mom can bring me,” I said.
He shrugged. “I can bring you instead, if you want. I don’t mind.”
I would have liked that, actually, and I pretended like I didn’t know why. “That’s okay.”
“You sure? Because I thought we could ditch Thing One and Thing Two first. It would make things easier.”
“Hey, that’s my sister you’re talking about. She better be Thing One.”
“She is.”
“Oh… then, yeah, I guess that would be okay.”
We ended up calling it an early night, heading home after much of the crowd had thinned out. Sam went home, and Hamilton dropped Bea off at her friend’s house so they could get up early for work. That left him and me by ourselves for the drive down to the shop.
I tried hard not to think about what Bea had said to me. It made no sense. Hamilton wasn’t my type. I didn’t really know what my type was, but it couldn’t have been him. For one, I didn’t want to date someone I would have to sneak around with. I wouldn’t lie to his father about our relationship, and I didn’t think he should have lied either.
When we got to the shop, I had to wait for the mechanic to come out so he could take us back to see the truck. It felt like seeing my child again, but my child was missing chunks and couldn’t run.
“So,” Alex started, pulling a pencil out from behind his ear. He was a heavy-set guy, wearing oil stained jeans and shaggy hair. “We’ve been plugging away on the truck,” he said. “We can fix most of what’s wrong with it.”
“Great,” I said.
He frowned. “About that… You would be sinking in way more than the thing is worth. I can’t promise you that it wouldn’t break down again in a year or two, and this would all start again. I can get it running in a week, but I think the best thing you can do is sell it for parts. It’s worth more that way.”
“Huh?” Hamilton asked. “But I thought you already had the bill all set up.”
“I did, but the more we got in, the more problems we found. It’s an old truck. It happens. We’ve already got some work done on it, and I think you should at least consider just scrapping it. As it is, it would only be about a hundred bucks, and we did replace a couple of little things. I’ll only charge you for labor, Jay, if you wanna go ahead and call it.”
I didn’t know what the hell to do. I wouldn’t have a car without this thing. “How much do you think I could get?”
Alex looked at my truck, sighing. “Maybe eighteen if you found the right person. My boys would be willing to give you sixteen in cash if you give it to them to play around with. They’re looking for a project.”
“Your kids?” Hammy asked.
“Yeah, a couple of them work here. If you want a second opinion, I would understand.”
“I want a hammer to my skull,” I said.
Hammy put his hands on my shoulders. “Let me pull him aside for a minute, okay?”
He brought me back outside, but I could barely breathe. My truck is a goner. It’s just… a goner.
“You can get a used car for sixteen,” Hamilton said.
“Maybe. I have no idea where to find one.”
“Online. I don’t know. Maybe take a couple of days to think it over. I can still give you rides. You have time to figure it out.”
Did I? It didn’t feel like I had time.
“Okay,” Hamilton said. “I’m going to bring you home and make you something to eat so you don’t spiral. How does that sound?”
I groaned.
“Perfect.”
Chapter Seventeen
Hamilton
“I really don’t think this is going to work,” Jay said. He had been a wonderful beam of dark light the entire morning, which made waking up early worth it. It didn’t irritate me at all.
I glanced sideways at him. “Why not?”
“Because who is going to buy this over what those idiots in the food truck have, first of all. Second of all, we spent some of our earnings on the meat for our sandwiches, and third of all, we aren’t flashy enough to attract attention when they’re sitting next to us. We’ve lost my spot, Hammy, and I think it’s time that we acknowledge that.”
“I think someone needs a nap,” I said. “Why don’t you go sleep on the couch while I get everything ready?”
Jay glared at me. Probably because I talked to him like one would a small child. It probably would’ve helped if I hadn’t used that tone with Dee that morning when she fell and scabbed one of her knees. It happened right outside of Jay’s house, when I had just been arriving. She’d run to me for some unknown reason, and I’d been forced to comfort her. I’d never had to comfort a child before, so I did the best that I could in the minute before Jay appeared to take her away.
At th
at point, I had explained our new plan to him. Since we couldn’t find another spot as lucrative as the one that we had been selling in before, we’d just have to take it back.
“But how?” he asked. “I don’t think we can slash their tires without getting caught.”
“I wasn’t thinking anything so dramatic…” I muttered and tried not to smile when his eyes widened. “We just need to out-sell them, and maybe they’ll go away.”
“That didn’t work with you.”
“And aren’t you happy about that? Not only do you get the pleasure of not being in this alone, but you actually have a ride around town when you need one.”
He had groaned, looked down at his shoes, and in the most tired voice that I had ever heard, asked me how exactly I thought we would do this.
“Sandwiches.”
“What?”
“My dad’s friends with a bakery a little way down the street from him, so I get a discount on fresh bread and a discount on meat from my father. We won’t put pineapple on our sandwiches, and everyone will love it. We don’t have sides like they do, but I think we can work around that.”
“You… want to sell sandwiches from an RV on the side of the road?” He said this like it sounded insane.
“Yes.”
He squinted at me. “Are you drunk again?”
“Mmm, actually the only one that got drunk last time was you, and you felt me up while drunk. You didn’t come up with any brilliant plans. Buy hey, if you want another beer, I can get one for you.”
Jay rubbed his eyes, sighed, and went to get ready for the day. I didn’t know if I should’ve been proud of this win, considering I just exhausted him until he gave in, but he had given in.
Now, the two of us pulled up to our old spot. I parked right where A Little Taste of Heavaii usually parked, and where Jay had gotten used to setting up. I grinned at him from across the seat. “See, we got here earlier, and now look.”
Jay glanced out the window, his expression bleak. “This is going to be embarrassing.”
I sighed, tilting my head back to stare at the ceiling. “Look. I’m not good at being the one who cheers people up. That’s always been Sam. So, if you could give me a break, I’d really appreciate it.”
