by Marla Meyers
Marissa reached over and touched Becka’s hand. Becka continued nervously to rummage through the tiny clothes in the closet, before she looked down at Marissa, her eyes now full of water. “I loved him,” was all Becka said, as Marissa got up, turned to her, and wrapped her arms around her. “I know you did, Sweetie.”
Marissa stood there just holding her. Someone had finally gotten to the unbreakable Becka. Becka was sobbing now. Marissa continued to hold her, as she rubbed her back, tears building in her own eyes. She didn’t remember ever seeing Becka cry.
They stood there for several more seconds, then they heard the phone ringing.
“You better get that. It might be Brycen,” Becka said, gently pushing Marissa away and drying her eyes.
Marissa hesitated, then moved towards the hallway and the bedroom phone, looking back at Becka. “I’ll be right back. You’re right, it might be Brycen and he’ll call the cavalry if I don’t answer. I’ll be right back.”
As she picked up the phone, she heard a somewhat familiar voice say, “Marissa? Is this Marissa Dow?”
Not correcting the caller about her new married name, Marissa Malloy, she answered, “Yes, it is.”
“This is Myrtle, Honey Myrtle McClary.”
“Hello, Myrtle,” Marissa answered, remembering the tiny woman that had come out to the farm to inspect everything. “Do you have a contract?” Marissa continued.
“Yes, Honey. I do. It’s real close to what we were asking. You will be pleased. Cash deal, Honey. Ya’ need to get out here pretty quick. When can ya’ come?”
Marissa held the phone out to her ear a couple of inches, since it seemed that Myrtle was yelling, then asked, “How soon do I need to get out there?”
“Pretty quick, Hon. Don’t want them to change their mind. How bout ya’ come on Monday. Can ya’ do that, Sweetie?”
Marissa thought for a minute, then said, “Yes, Monday will be fine. What time do you need me there?”
“Let’s try to make it around 1:00, shall we?”
“Uh, okay,” Marissa said, remembering the day at the farm, when Myrtle had come out to the barn. She hadn’t thought about the farm in a while. She had been so absorbed in her new life, she had just kind of put it all behind her.
They hung up and she walked back into the nursery, where Becka seemed to have pulled herself together. “Everything okay?” Becka asked.
Marissa sat down in the rocker, then looked up at Becka. “There’s a buyer for the farm. I have to go close on Monday.”
Becka’s face became somber. Then she said, “I’ll go with you.”
“No, Becka…that’s not necessary,” Marissa said sternly, looking up at Becka and trying to read the serious expression on her face, and knowing Becka was thinking about the events that occurred last time she went to the farm.
“It IS necessary, Marissa. You can’t go by yourself! You’re too far along. What if something happened? Besides, I could use the ‘getaway’.”
Marissa didn’t answer her. She was far away, back at the farm, and for the first time in a long time was thinking of Joshua, as she reached down and rubbed her stomach gently.
“Would you rather Brycen take you?” she heard Becka ask, sounding disappointed.
“No Becka. That’s not it. I justdon’t want you to feel like you have to go with me,” Marissa said, looking up at her from the rocking chair.
“I told you. I would love to get away from here for a day or two. We could spend the night, or I’ll drive us back that night. Whatever you want to do,” Becka said, still looking a little too serious.
“Okay,” Marissa answered quietly, her thoughts still wondering back to the farm and Joshua.
Chapter 17
You’re sure Brycen is okay with this?” Becka asked Marissa, as they were entering Grove Hill, and referring to the discussion that Marissa and Brycen had the day before about her coming out there.
“He’s okay. He just worries. I told him that you were going to drive and that we would be home tonight. He’s a little over-protective sometimes.”
“You’re lucky to have him, Marissa. They aren’t all so sweet,” Becka said, cocking her head and rolling her eyes.
As it had turned out, Charlie had moved out when Becka returned home on Saturday. Marissa had spent a good part of the day on Sunday with Becka, watching movies and just hanging out. It was quiet without Charlie around. He was always doing something playing his guitar in the back bedroom or tinkering on a motor in the garage. He would whisk through the living room and give Becka a quick kiss, then go back to whatever project he had going that day. He was hyper and wound up like Becka. They had seemed to thrive on each other for a while. Although, the last couple of days, Becka had definitely not been herself. She was much quieter. She was really hurting, Marissa knew.
“There it is,” Marissa said to Becka, pointing to the small one-story structure where Myrtle’s office was.
The closing took about an hour. An older, retiring couple had bought the farm. Marissa’s hand trembled as she signed all the papers. She kept thinking about Mamma and Daddy. She wondered what it would be like not to be able to go to the farm any more. All her memories She felt a lump in her throat as she signed the last of the documents. Her only comfort was the couple she had just sold to. The woman went on and on about how they had dreamed of having a place like this to retire someday. She talked about planting flowers in the flower beds. The man talked about putting his cows on the property. Marissa was glad they were also keeping Mr. Buck on to tend to everything. If the farm had to be sold, she was glad it was to this couple.
Becka and Marissa said their “good-byes’ and got in the car to leave. Becka headed back towards the main highway.
Marissa’s eyes filled with water, then said, “I want to see the farm one more time. Turn here.” She motioned to the next little road, veering off to the left.
“Marissa ” Becka started, then stopped. She wanted to tell Marissa she wasn’t sure if that was a good idea, but they drove quietly for the next few minutes.
As they headed down the winding drive, Marissa assumed this would be the last time she would see the house she had grown up in. They sat in the car for a minute, just looking at the house, then Marissa got out of the car and Becka followed her.
Marissa walked aimlessly around the yard. Becka leaned up against her car, watching her.
“Isn’t it great?” Marissa asked Becka, continuing to wander around the yard, taking it all in, as if to make sure every detail was engraved in her brain forever.
“It is great,” Becka answered, having been there several times with Marissa before. She continued to watch Marissa walk around the yard, feeling anxious to leave. She saw Marissa glance over at the barn. She quickly stood up straight and said, “Mel, we better get on the road.” She did not want Marissa to venture over to the barn. Becka began walking towards her. Marissa was still looking at the barn.
“Come on Mel, let’s go,” Becka said, sounding more anxious. “We need to get on the road.”
Marissa wasn’t hearing her. She kept looking at the barn.
“Someone’s in there!” Marissa said loudly to Becka, as she quickly headed in that direction.
Becka ran quickly up to Marissa and grabbed her arm. “No-one is in there,” she snapped. “Let’s go!”
Marissa shook Becka’s grip and continued to walk towards the barn. “I saw someone in there,” she said, quietly, then continued to head in the direction of the barn.
“Marissa, this is not a good idea. Let’s go!” Becka snapped again, but stayed by her side as she headed out to the barn. Marissa was walking faster now.
Becka again grabbed her arm, this time halting her, “Marissa!”
“What?!” Marissa snapped back at her, but stopping this time.
“Let’s go. I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“Becka, I’m okay. I saw someone out here, though. Didn’t you see? There is someone in the barn!”
; “We need to go, Marissa,” Becka tried again, afraid of what Marissa was thinking and noticing her seemingly desperate need to get out to the barn.
Marissa began again to head out to the barn. Becka stayed by her side, deciding that Marissa was going out there no matter what she said. They didn’t say anything as Marissa opened the barn door.
Marissa’s eyes were opened wide, as she scanned around the barn. Then she grabbed Becka’s arm and pulled her slightly in the direction of the stacked bales of hay.
Marissa pointed towards the far corner of the barn, and said “There, Becka. That’s where the daisies were. Joshua sat there. I was here. The light. The light came from there.” She pointed to the haystack, as she continued to hold Becka’s arm. Becka could feel her trembling.
“Come on, Mel,” Becka tried again, but Marissa just kept holding her arm and reliving the events of months before, making sure she showed Becka where everything had happened, describing all the details.
“No daisies anymore, see that’s where they used to be,” Marissa went on, pointing to the place she remembered seeing the old coffee can every evening.
“Yeah, I see,” Becka said, quietly, giving in to the fact that they weren’t going anywhere until Marissa was ready.
Marissa sat down on one of the stacked bales of hay, then seemed to come back to the present day, and she looked at Becka and said, “Becka I swear to you. It all happened just the way I said.”
“Marissa, I believe you,” Becka said, unsure of what she really believed, but knowing this was not good for Marissa to be reliving all this again. “I just think we probably need to go,” Becka continued.
Marissa continued to sit on the haystack, looking around the barn. Then she looked at Becka again. “I wish you could have seen him, Becka,” she said. Becka knew she must be referring to Joshua.
“He was the most wonderful, passionate man,” Marissa said, as she seemed again to be remembering back. “The way he held me, the way he kissed me ”
Becka stood there watching her, becoming more anxious to get her home. “Marissa, Brycen will be worried. We need to go.”
Marissa didn’t answer. She kept looking around the barn, then back at Becka, her eyes almost pleading with her to understand, to believe her. Then she quietly said,
“Joshua are you here?”
That was it Becka jumped up. “That’s it, Marissa. There is no one here. Damn! Let’s go!”
Marissa, shocked at Becka’s suddenly hostile tone, said, “You know, Becka! I know what you’re thinking, and I am not losing it! What happened to me was very real and if you’ll notice I have proof!” she said, pointing down to her enlarged stomach.
Relieved that Marissa had heard her, at least, she said, “Marissa, I do believe you. I just don’t think it is healthy for you to relive the whole thing. And Brycen is going to be getting worried if we don’t get home.”
Marissa, seeming somewhat pacified with that statement, got off the haystack and started walking towards the barn door. She looked around one last time. Then she looked at Becka and began to laugh hysterically. Becka’s face showed the horror she felt. She is losing it, Becka assumed. This has been too much for her.
“I should have NEVER let you come back here!” Becka snapped, as she headed towards Marissa.
Marissa continued to laugh and held her hand up in a stopping motion before Becka could get to her. Becka stopped and looked at her, wondering what to do next.
Marissa continued to laugh, then caught her breath, put her hand over her mouth, pushed her hair back, composed herself and looked at Becka.
Becka, still very unsure how to proceed, just stood there.
Marissa grinned again, then looked at Becka and said, very slowly, “Becka my water just broke.”
Chapter 18
As they wheeled Marissa towards the labor and delivery room at the hospital in Grove Hill, Becka ran along behind.
“Call Brycen, Becka! Hurry!” Marissa yelled.
“Okay, okay! Where’s a phone!?” she anxiously asked the nurse.
“Down the hall to the left,” she responded, and Becka veered away.
“Sheila,” she said to Marissa’s secretary, “It’s Becka. Find Brycen NOW. Marissa is in labor!”
“Oh God! Hold on,” Sheila quickly said, before putting Becka on hold.
Then she heard Brycen’s panicky voice. “Becka, where are you?”
“At the hospital in Grove Hill. Mel’s water broke. I don’t know any details. I just ran and called you as soon as we got here.”
“I’m on my way. Becka, it’s so early. Will she and the baby be okay?”
“I’m sure they will, Brycen. Be careful, now. Don’t have a wreck getting here. Hey, do you want me to go find out for sure if she’s really in labor before you drive all the way here?”
“No, if her water broke. You are sure it broke, aren’t you?”
“Well, she says it did!”
“Okay, okay. I am leaving now.”
Becka ran back to the labor and delivery room, where they now had Marissa in stirrups and a doctor seemed to be checking things out from underneath a sheet.
“Well?” Marissa asked.
Grabbing Marissa’s hand, Becka told her, “Brycen is on his way.”
“Oh God!” Marissa shouted.
“What’s wrong?” Becka shouted back, looking at the nurse, the doctor still with his head between Marissa’s legs.
“She’s having a contraction,” the nurse said calmly.
“What do we do?” Becka screamed, still holding Marissa’s hand.
“Becka!” Marissa said, loudly, “get Brycen!”
“I did, Sweetie, I did!!” Becka said, wondering what she should be doing, as she looked up at the nurse for guidance.
“Hold her hand and tell her to breathe slow and deep,” the nurse instructed Becka.
“Okay…’’ Becka responded. “Marissa, I’ve seen this on TV. Don’t worry!”
Marissa cracked a smile, since by now the contraction had stopped, before saying, “Oh Gee, Becka I feel better already!”
The doctor came up for air. “She’s dilating rather quickly for a first pregnancy. The husband is on the way?”
“Yes,” both Becka and Marissa answered.
“How long does she have?” Becka asked, sounding panicked.
“God, Becka I’m not dying!!” Marissa said, before the doctor could respond.
He grinned at the two of them, then said, “Could be three or four more hours.”
“Oh no! Brycen’s not going to make it!” Marissa shrieked.
“Can’t you stall it?” Becka asked, looking up at the doctor.
“Well, these things just happen when they are ready. It could take longer. Stay with her and give her some of these ice chips. I will be back in a little while to check on her.”
“Becka, I’ll die if Brycen doesn’t get here. I’ll just die.”
“He’ll be here, Sweetie.”
They sat there quietly for a few minutes, then Marissa looked up at Becka and said, “Well, our baby is almost here.”
Becka smiled really big. “Yeah, our baby is almost here.”
“Becka, I feel another one coming,” Marissa said, squeezing Becka’s hand.
“I’m here, Mel. I’m here,” Becka said, sofdy.
When the contraction was over, Marissa grinned again, and said, “Becka.”
“Yeah.”
“I am going to need some drugs. I know I said I wouldn’t, but I lied. Can you PLEASE make sure they give me some drugs soon.”
“Does it hurt bad?” Becka asked, her lips now all pinched up and her shoulders scrunched, as if experiencing the pain herself.
“You’re the one with the TV experience. What do you think?” Marissa responded sarcastically.
Then they both smiled.
Two hours later, no one was smiling. The contractions were coming closer and closer. But, not close enough for the drugs that Marissa had so calmly requested
earlier. Not quite as calm now, she asked, “Where is Brycen?”
“He is on his way,” Becka said, as she took a cloth and wiped Marissa’s forehead.
“He’s not going to make it!” Marissa said, crying now.
“He’ll be here, Mel,” Becka said, glancing at her watch and wondering if he would, indeed, be here for the birth of this child.
After another hard contraction, Marissa said to Becka, “I’ll die if he doesn’t make it, Becka. But, I want you to know that I am so glad you’re here. I wish my Mom was here.”
“Brycen will make it,” Becka assured her, “and your Mom is here, in her own way.”
The doctor came back and said they had about another hour—maybe.
Marissa called out Brycen’s name often, between tears. Becka kept holding her hand, wiping her head, and looking down at her watch.
Then they saw a very excited, nervous Brycen come running into the room. He jumped past Becka and grabbed Marissa’s hand, saying, “Baby, I’m here. I’m here. It’s okay.”
“Oh, Brycen, thank God!” Marissa said, as another contraction began.
“Remember, breathe remember our classes,” he said, still holding her hand.
“Fuck those classes. Get that damn doctor in here and get me something for the pain!” Marissa demanded.
Brycen, stunned by this side of Marissa he had never seen, jumped up and ran into the hall, yelling, “Hey, get us some help in here!”
Becka ran back over to Marissa and grabbed her hand.
“Hang on, Sweetie. Brycen will get you some drugs or something!”
Brycen returned, again pushing Becka aside.
The doctor returned, again hiding his face under the sheet, as he checked to see how dilated Marissa was.
“Are we ready to have a baby, yet?” he asked, grinning.
“Is it time?” Brycen asked. “Can she get some pain medicine?”
“We have Demerol dripping in her IV,” the nurse cut in and said.
