It could be fucking hours, days, a week that I just talk.
And once my words dry up, he nods. “You’ve been through hell.”
“And I’m still there.”
He laughs while shaking his head. “You have a second chance, Jack. You get to be in this girl’s life for however the hell long the time is. Do you know what a gift that is? Not only did you finally get your head out of your ass and get my sister, but also you’re in Kinsley’s life. What the hell are you doing?”
“I have to give her back!”
“Yeah, you do. You know that, and it sucks, but wouldn’t you like to enjoy the time you do get now?”
My chest is tight, and anger starts to simmer. He gets to keep his daughter. He can love Amelia, raise her, give her a life. I have to let her in only to watch her go once more.
“It’s not that simple.”
“Maybe not. Hell, I’ve been called a fool more times in the last week than I can count, so what do I know? Here’s the one thing I do understand . . . you have about three weeks with a kid you never thought you’d have three weeks with. You do what you need to do, but this time, Jack, you won’t get it back.”
“It’s fleeting.”
“Yes, it is, so you want to spend the time you could be spending with her at your office instead? It’s an open adoption, it means she and you all get to choose what relationship you have. No one is stopping you from having a place in her life if she wants you to, right?”
“That’s not true, Gray.” I don’t have the energy to explain the rules because when we give her back, it’s not up to us. It’s not even really up to Kinsley and I’d rather prepare for the worst.
“Well, as a father, I’ll tell you this, if Amelia was with Yvonne and all I could get was one day a year with her. That day would be the best day each and every time.” Grayson gets to his feet and shrugs. “But what the hell do I know?”
I don’t remember leaving the office after Grayson did, but here I am, standing outside the door of Stella’s loft.
I didn’t get any work done, and I give zero shits about it.
Grayson is right. I have three weeks. Three weeks to get to know her and maybe at the end I never see her again. Maybe this will be all we get, and if it is, then I want every second of it.
I push open the door, and Stella glances over to me, smiling. “Hey, you’re back?”
“I am.”
“Okay. Is everything all right?”
I nod. “Where is Kinsley?”
“She is getting changed. We were going to grab food.”
“Oh.”
Stella’s head tilts to the side. “Do you want to come?”
“She probably won’t want me there.”
“Jack,” Stella’s voice is soft, “don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Make excuses when there isn’t a need to. Come eat with us. It’s the first time I’m taking her out, and . . . I have no idea who will be around.”
One look at Kinsley, and anyone will know whose child she is.
Kinsley walks in before I can reply. “Hi, Jack.”
“Hey, kid. You guys getting food?”
She looks to Stella and then smiles shyly. “Yeah. Are you coming?”
“I finished work early, and . . .” Don’t be a fucking pussy, Jack. Tell her. “I would love to come if that’s cool with you.”
“Yeah, that would be cool.”
Stella’s eyes are warm, and she walks over, taking my hand. “I love you.”
I gaze at this amazing woman, knowing I don’t deserve her but am way too selfish to ever give her up, and brush my fingers against her cheek. “I love you too.”
She lifts onto her toes and presses a kiss to my cheek.
“What if we go a few towns over and get something?” I suggest.
Stella squeezes my hand and then lets it go. “We were going to Jennie’s, actually. I was telling Kinsley about Fred and Bill. She is sort of amazed that they are there every single day, no matter what time we go.”
My chest grows tight because it also means her family or any one of our friends could be there.
I walk over to Kinsley. “Are you sure? There’s a good chance that there will be people there who will . . . not respect boundaries.”
Stella nods. “He’s right, and even though we already talked about it, if you aren’t comfortable eating there, here’s another option out.”
“You don’t have to protect me, guys,” Kinsley says with a bit of steel in her voice. “I’m not scared to meet people, and I don’t want to hide away.”
“Okay then. Jennie’s it is.”
And there will be no going back.
Chapter 33
Stella
My hands won’t stop shaking.
Jack’s eyes are on me as he opens the door to the diner, and I swear my heart is going to explode out of my chest.
Kinsley may be ready to see people, but I’m definitely not. This has been what I’ve avoided since I was eighteen, but I have to face it.
The door chime rings and Jennie walks over. “Hey there, Stella! Jack, it’s good to see you. Just because you have a girlfriend now, doesn’t mean you can’t come here to eat.”
Jack chuckles. “Don’t worry, Stella can’t cook. We were out of town, that’s all.”
Thankfully the diner is somewhat quiet. Of course, Bill and Fred are at the counter like fixtures of the place, but none of my siblings are here—or Winnie. I release a deep breath and return my attention to Jennie.
Her hand rests on Jack’s forearm. “Good thing, Jack O’Donnell, because Vernon would be mighty upset if you found another place to eat.”
He leans in. “Never.”
She grins and looks over at Kinsley. “Hi there, honey. I’m Jennie, and . . .” She trails off, her eyes looking at the little girl and then back at us.
Surely piecing things together. My nose. Jack’s eyes. Our daughter who we couldn’t deny if we even wanted to.
I speak quickly. “This is Kinsley Elkins, and she’s staying with us for a few weeks while her dad has a work thing.”
Jennie blinks, her lips moving without any sound coming out. After another second, she looks to me. “I see, well, how nice. Do you like pancakes?” She directs the question to Kinsley.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Good. My husband makes the best pancakes in the county.”
“Could we get the booth over there?” I request. It’s not in the back, but I can seat Kinsley so she won’t see people gawk.
“Why it’s my best booth, and for you, Stella, I’d kick someone out.” Jennie smiles and then guides everyone there.
Kinsley takes the spot with her back to everyone, I slide in beside her, and Jack sits facing the door. Once Jennie leaves the menus, the three of us release a breath. “Well, that wasn’t terrible,” I say.
Jack looks at Kinsley. “How are you feeling?”
She shrugs. “Weird.”
“I bet.”
“Is there anyone else here you know?”
“Well, if you look at the counter, you’ll find Bill and Fred.”
“They’re actually here?” Kinsley asks with excitement.
Jack laughs. “I think they have this listed as their mailing address.”
Jennie returns with our drinks and lets us know what we’ll be eating. Pancakes for Kinsley, a ham and cheese omelet for me, and the works for Jack, whatever that means. I would argue, but it’s what I would’ve ordered anyway.
“Do you eat here that much?” Kinsley asks after Jennie leaves.
“Yeah, it’s the only place in town other than the Park Inn, but I didn’t really eat there unless I was working.”
Kinsley chews on the end of her straw. “So, you and your brothers just quit?”
“It’s not that simple, but that’s the general idea. We’re forcing our father to buy us out so we can start our own resort.”
“That’s kind of cool.”
J
ack nods. “It’s a testament to their strength, and I’m glad they asked me to join the business with them.”
“Your brothers seem pretty cool.”
“They’re pains in the asses,” Jack adds with a grin.
“They are both of those things,” I agree.
We continue to talk about the people in the diner, mostly the story of Fred and Bill. Jack fills her in on how he comes here after a fire call, and the three of us settle into a comfortable conversation. She’s curious about us, how we live, our friends, and my family. Jack and I do our best to answer everything.
“You did not do that,” he scoffs after I tell her a story about going to Jack’s college graduation and leaving before he saw me.
“I was there.”
“There’s no way. I saw your brothers there, and I promise, I would’ve noticed you.”
I shake my head and look at Kinsley. “I was there. I was not sitting with my brothers because I didn’t want Jack to know I was there. He wore a blue tie and took his hat off first. He was in the third row on the left side.”
Jack’s jaw drops. “You were there?”
“I was always there for you, even when you didn’t want me to be.”
He clears his throat, and his tone turns joking. “She was a stalker.”
In the same moment, three things happen. Kinsley giggles, the door chime rings, and Jack’s eyes widen. I don’t need him to say anything, it’s someone we know, and the small reprieve we were enjoying is going to end.
I turn my head, and there stands Grayson, Jessica, and Amelia.
“Auntie!” Amelia spots us, and before Grayson can grab her, she’s running.
I get up quickly and intercept her, hugging her tight. “Hi, Monkey.”
“Auntie, I have missed you so much! Where have you been?”
I smile at her as Gray approaches. “I’ve been working and . . .”
And trying to keep my shit together.
“It’s okay. Are you coming to my birthday party? Daddy let me pick my cake, and balloons, and I’m going to have all my friends there.”
I kiss her cheek and smile. “Of course I’ll be there.”
“Uncle Jack!” Amelia yells, hand waving frantically.
My brother’s eyes dart to Jack and then back to me. “Sorry, we didn’t know you were here.”
“I know that.”
He scoops up Amelia, who doesn’t want that and starts to struggle to get out of his arms. “I want to see Uncle Jack.”
“Uncle Jack is having lunch, you need to calm down, and I’m sure he’ll come see you.”
“I’m sorry,” I say to my brother. I’m sorry that what would’ve been a fun coincidence is now awkward for everyone.
He smirks. “Relax, Stell. It’s fine. Go have your lunch, and if . . . well, if you can or want to, stop by the table.”
“Why wouldn’t she want to?” Amelia asks.
“Because you’re a pain in the butt.”
I tickle her softly. “And because you’re giggly.”
She laughs and Grayson winks. “Go.”
I nod, and walk back to my table where Jack is talking to Kinsley. When I sit, I’m completely out of sorts. I don’t know what to tell her or ask her. “That was my brother.”
“Jack said as much. Is that his daughter?”
“Yes, Amelia. She’s turning five soon.”
I wonder if her thoughts are going as crazy as mine. That’s her cousin, and she doesn’t even know her. A whole family that she could’ve had support her that she never knew. The regrets I have just keep stacking up.
Misty wanted us to meet, but I wasn’t ready, and I knew Jack didn’t want that either. It was easier for us in some ways not to be on the fringes of Kinsley’s life. Not knowing her made it so we didn’t have to face the choice we made. There’s not a doubt in mind that, had we allowed ourselves to love her, know her, I would’ve wanted her back.
“Are you embarrassed of me?” Kinsley asks.
Immediately Jack and I speak at the same time. “No. Of course not.”
“Not at all,” Jack says again.
“I know that I was a mistake.”
I lean forward, making sure I have her full attention. “Kinsley, you were not a mistake. Please don’t think that. My brothers, all four of them, and my mother, want to meet you. They are begging, but they also know you’ve been through hell the last few months and don’t want to force their way into your life. If you want to know them, we wouldn’t be prouder than to introduce you.”
She lets out a deep sigh. “I have been an only child with no one other than my parents, and now I have this big family. It’s just . . .”
“A lot to take in?” Jack finishes for her.
Kinsley nods.
“Well, if you’d like to meet Grayson, Jessica, and Amelia, they’d be more than happy to come sit with us.”
I wait, my heart pounding with uncertainty about which way I hope she goes. Grayson was not my top choice of who she would meet first. I would’ve started her off with Oliver. He’s sweet, funny, and makes everyone feel at ease. Grayson, while being a great man and very sweet, is a bit intimidating.
However, it’s her choice.
After another moment, Kinsley gives me a small smile. “I’d like to meet him.”
Chapter 34
Jack
As I walk over to their table, Grayson watches my progress. “Twice in one day.”
“It would be your lucky day it seems.” I turn to Jess. “Hi, Jess.”
Amelia bristles. “What about me?”
“You? I didn’t see you there. You’ve gotten so big, I hardly recognize you.”
She smiles up at me. “You’re silly, Uncle Jack.”
“I am.”
I address Grayson and Jessica. “So, Stella, Kinsley, and I would like to know if you want to join us for lunch?”
Jessica’s lips part, and she grabs Grayson’s hand.
He blinks a few times, briefly cutting his eyes toward his daughter. “What are we saying?”
“I haven’t gotten that far.”
“Okay then.”
I sigh deeply. “Trust me, we’re all winging it. However, Kinsley would like to meet you.”
Tears fill Jessica’s eyes. “Oh, this is just too perfect.”
Grayson glances at his pregnant and emotional wife. “It’s perfect?”
“Well, maybe not perfect, but she wants to meet you, Grayson. So, yes, I’d say that is damn near close.”
He kisses her temple before telling me, “We’ll grab our stuff and come right over.”
I head to Jennie, let her know the plan, and then move the table over. Kinsley has moved closer to Stella, leaving room for me on her other side.
“What exactly are we saying?” I ask Stella and Kinsley.
Kinsley answers first. “The truth. My mother always said it’s the only answer, no matter how hard it is.”
“Your mother was one of the best people I ever knew.”
She looks up at me with watery eyes. “She really was.”
Kinsley goes stiff as Grayson approaches. He does his best not to gawk at her while they all file in.
Stella speaks, but her voice is shaky. “Kinsley, this is my brother, Grayson. My sister-in-law, Jessica, and that little monster down there is Amelia.”
“It’s really great to meet you,” Grayson says first.
Kinsley chews on her lower lip. “You too.”
“I’m Amelia Jane Parkerson!” Melia offers up.
“I’m Kinsley Rose Elkins,” she says back to her.
“Are you new here?”
Kinsley nods. “Yup.”
“Do you like dolls?”
“I used to.”
“I love dolls. They’re fun. You can play with my dolls if you want. I’ll probably get new dolls soon for my birthday. Daddy and Mommy had me make a list for my party. I put a lot of dolls on it.”
Kinsley smiles a real smile this time. “That’s re
ally smart of you.”
“I like to dance too. Do you like dancing? I’m not very good. Mrs. Butler says I’m ex-exhas-ber-ate-eating, whatever that means.”
Stella groans. “You are not that, Melia. You are a great dancer.”
“Thanks, Auntie.” She beams at her.
“I swear, we should run that woman out of town,” Jessica says to Stella.
“Who is that?” Kinsley asks.
Jessica turns her attention to Kinsley. “Mrs. Butler is the owner of the dance studio. She’s been there since I was a kid, and I swear she was a hundred then. She’s mean and made my best friend, Delia, and I cry a lot.”
“That sounds horrible.” Kinsley looks to Stella. “Did you dance?”
Grayson and I burst out in laughter, which earns us a glare from her.
Grayson is the one to explain. “Stella is the worst dancer I’ve ever seen. She has two left feet and a peg leg.”
Stella sticks her tongue out at him. “Don’t listen to him, I was a talent before my time. What they now call contemporary is what I was good at.”
Grayson snorts. “That was called flailing around.”
Kinsley giggles. “I can’t dance either.”
“You get that from me, then.”
Silence falls around the table, and Jessica breaks the tension. “Kinsley, have you gotten to do anything fun since you got to Willow Creek Valley?”
“No, not much.”
“We haven’t really gone out because we wanted Kinsley to settle in first,” Stella explains.
“Well, you guys should go out to Melia Lake tomorrow. It’s supposed to be nice, and I’m sure there’s stuff you guys can do. The boat is there, at least.”
Kinsley looks to us. “Is that where you’re building the resort?”
I nod. “Yup. Would you like to go?”
“Yeah, I would love to. Can we fish there?”
“Of course.”
Grayson cuts in. “I will say, I’ve yet to catch a thing in that lake. I’ve tried, but nothing bites.”
“Grayson sucks at fishing,” I tell her under my breath.
“I heard that.”
Could Have Been Us Page 20
