“You made a mistake,” Grayson says, rising to his full height. “You forgot that we haven’t needed you around to run the inns in . . . well, ever. We’ll be just fine doing it on our own.”
Joshua grins. “And if you back out now.” He lifts the papers up, jostling them slightly. “We’ll sue you for breach of contract and take the entire company anyway.”
We all exit the room, not looking back, ready to start a life without him in the driver’s seat.
“She seems to fit in like she was born into it,” Jessica notes, staring at Kinsley, who is hanging out with my brothers.
I should be happy about the fact that it’s true, but it just hurts a bit more.
Four days until we send her back to Georgia.
I shake off the thoughts, refusing to go down this hole again. I fell asleep last night in Jack’s arms with tears running down his chest. He didn’t say a word, just allowed me to be sad about what’s to come.
“She is.”
“Of course she adores Ollie.”
I smile at my brother as he performs some stupid card trick for her. “Everyone does.” Jess rubs her growing baby bump. “How are you feeling?”
“Good. We’re excited for the baby and Amelia is beside herself.”
“I’m sure. She loves things she can boss around, so a sister is going to be right up her alley.”
Jessica laughs. “She definitely owns her father and uncles.”
“Always has.”
I look at my niece, who’s sitting on Josh’s lap with a smile. “It’s funny that Josh seems to be the uncle Amelia loves most.”
I grin. “She loves whoever is giving her what she wants. Josh has always been under her spell. I don’t know if it’s because he claims he’ll never have kids of his own so he could love Amelia with his whole heart and not worry.”
“Why is that?”
“Josh took being the oldest as a great responsibility. When he left for college, he was really guilty over it. I thought he was just being stupid about being away, but when I look back on it, I can see how much Josh shielded us from the ugly shit in our family,” I explain. “Gray did too, but Josh really did until he left. Knowing what I do now about my parents, it’s clear that he was aware of things between our parents and shielded us.”
“So he’s going to punish himself now?” she asks.
Both of our gazes move to Delia, the girl Joshua has refused to admit he has loved since they were kids. The saddest part is that she loves him too. However, Josh will never be like my father. He won’t enter into marriage, have kids, or let his heart be open to it.
“He thinks love is a punishment.”
She snorts. “He might not be wrong.”
I sigh and take a sip of my drink. “Maybe, but I would rather suffer from loss and remember the joy while it happens.”
She lifts her glass of apple juice. “I’ll drink to that.” Jess’s hand rests on my arm. “But seriously, are you okay?”
“I’m sad because I don’t know if she’s sad at all over it, which is crazy. Mostly, I’m worried about how I go forward.”
“What do you mean?”
I drop my voice to a whisper. “Do I call her or wait for her to call me? Do I ask her if she wants to see us again? Will Samuel want that after he knows we’ve had her in our care? Does she even want to talk to us after?”
“What did your adoption paperwork say?”
I wipe away the tear that fell. “Basically that we would get yearly updates and that legally, our names be listed on her birth certificate if Kinsley ever wanted to know who we are. I remember the agency explaining it wasn’t really a contract so much as a nonbinding agreement between Misty, Samuel, and us. There’s nothing that we are legally afforded.”
Jessica lets out a heavy sigh. “So, you might send her back and never see her again.”
I nod. “It’s possible. I don’t think he would, but he might. He is her father—legally.”
She pulls me in for a hug. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. The thing is, Kinsley comes first. I feel like giving her back though, it’s like reliving it all over again. For the last month, I’ve had this little girl in my home. I’ve cooked, washed clothes, and been like a real mom. I’m going to give that up.”
“She seems to really like you and Jack.”
I turn to look at her, my throat closing when I imagine not being able to just look at her again. “She seems to. But once she goes back to her father, I don’t know what we’ll become. Before, it was almost easy because the rules were defined.”
Jess’s gaze follows mine. “My dad left when I was twelve. I remember that age and the anger and confusion. No matter what she shows, that girl is feeling the same thing. She’s just as confused and unsure. She wants to make her father happy, so she’s not going to approach it with him, no matter what she wants. Talk to Samuel, and then . . . talk to her. She’s your daughter, Stella, and she’d be so lucky to have you and Jack in her life.”
Kinsley laughs deeply at something, and I turn to look. She is smiling up at Jack as he holds Amelia upside down. All the people I love are gathered here with varying degrees of joy on their faces.
She belongs here.
She is a Parkerson, and yet she belongs to someone else.
Jack looks over at me and gives me a wink.
I smile and shake my head before replying to Jessica. “Luck sometimes isn’t on my side.”
“I know that all too well, but sometimes fate is, and that always wins. Don’t give up on her or anything you want, Stella. I’ve learned that in my two near-death experiences.”
“It’ll be good if you keep it at that number.”
Jess grins. “That’s the goal here. Hey, did you set up the call with the builder I emailed you about? Odette came highly recommended and her profile is outstanding.”
In all of the craziness of this month, I feel like I’ve been lost in regards to everything with the resort. I’ve done almost nothing, and my brothers haven’t been dicks about it, which is a very nice change.
“I emailed her, but I haven’t done more.”
Alex walks into the kitchen, eyeing Jessica and me. “What are you talking about?”
“You.”
He shrugs. “I wouldn’t be surprised. I am the best-looking Parkerson here.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re the dumbest.”
“If you were the best-looking, I wouldn’t have dated your brother, I would’ve gone for you. What does that say?” Jessica teases him.
“That Alex definitely wasn’t the best-looking,” I back her up.
Josh’s voice carries over from the other room. “Who is the best-looking what?”
Oh, God, here we go.
“Nothing, Josh!” I yell before this becomes a thing.
“Is Alex saying he’s the best-looking brother?” Oliver, who could never resist a chance to annoy anyone, chimes in.
“Nope, he said he was the best-looking Parkerson here!” Jessica, who I thought was my ally in this, betrays me.
Jack laughs. “Well, that’s where we know he’s a complete idiot.” I raise a brow at him, surprised he’s entering the fray. “Stella is the hottest Parkerson.”
My brothers all start ribbing him, calling him whipped and slapping his chest or back. I don’t know that I’ve ever loved him more.
“And since Jack is not a Parkerson, he’s right and wins!” I say with finality.
“What about my vote?” Jessica asks.
“You’re a Parkerson now, you have no vote,” Josh says.
One day.
Twenty-four hours left.
Jack’s arm tightens around my middle, drawing me back against him. “Don’t go there, Stella.”
I close my eyes, hating that he knows me so well. “It’s like a bomb ticking down in my heart.”
“I have the same one, but we cannot fall apart. I can’t lose both of you in the same day.”
I turn over, my finger t
ouches his lips. “You’re not going to lose me,” I vow.
“Good.”
At least, I really fucking hope not. I am going to need him more than ever. “Now what do we do?”
“I think we do something fun with her. I don’t want to spend the day counting down. Do you?”
“No.”
“Then let’s spend the day not thinking about it and having fun.”
If I could turn back the clock, there are a million things I would’ve done with her. We could’ve gone to the beach house, spent more time at the lake, or gone shopping. I feel like I’ve been robbed. I lost the first week, and I want it back.
Only, it’s not mine to have.
“Yeah. I’m sure that’ll be possible with her packing and talking about going home.”
The email came late last night that told us Samuel is doing well enough to leave rehab and take back his life, which means his daughter.
Jack kisses my temple. “I didn’t say it would be easy, just that we need to try. Do you want her to remember us this way?”
I close my eyes, sinking into him. “No. I want to keep her. I know I shouldn’t, and I swore I wouldn’t, but how could I stop this? She’s our daughter. I have you, and now—God, I’m selfish and want her too. I want this family.”
His hands move up and down my back. “I wish I could lie to you and say I don’t feel the same. I want her too.”
“And I did that to you.”
He pulls back, lifting my face to his. “You didn’t do anything. You were right when you told me that it was the only option, and even though I don’t know how we will survive this, I don’t regret it.”
I don’t either.
I nod, unable to speak.
“I’m going to shower, and then we can figure out what to do for the day.”
Jack releases me, and I blow out a deep breath before getting out of bed.
Once dressed, I head into the kitchen.
What a mess my life is. A month ago, Jack and I were new and having fun. It was easy. Now we’ve been living together, which I don’t want to change; we had our daughter with us, which is going to change; and the inn is taking the next steps.
I can’t stop any of what’s to come. Tomorrow we will drive Kinsley to Samuel, and the rest of the world will go on, oblivious to the pain Jack and I will be in.
“Stella?”
I turn to see Kinsley standing there, watching me.
“Yes?”
“Are you okay?”
I look down at the glass of orange juice in my hand, not remembering when I poured it. I paste on a smile, using all my years of projecting false happiness, and look back to her.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”
“You’ve been standing there for five minutes.”
“Have I?”
She nods. “Yeah.”
I place the glass onto the counter and walk toward her. “I’m good. Just didn’t sleep well.”
“Did you get the email yet?” she asks.
“I did. It looks like you’ll get to go home tomorrow.”
“I just want him to be better. I’m so glad he got the help he needs.”
“Jack and I want the same.”
And we want you. Please, don’t walk out that door and cut us off. Please see that we love you.
Kinsley wrings her hands. “What time are we leaving tomorrow?”
“Early, I’m guessing.”
“Okay. I just want to get the house perfect before Daddy gets home. I’m going to need to be there for him.”
I nod.
“I’m just saying that I want to clean up and make sure he’s not alone.”
“We would never let that happen,” I reassure her. “We care very much about Samuel. We love you, and we wouldn’t . . . don’t worry, we will make sure you’re home.”
Kinsley steps forward, her hand lifts as if to reach out to me, but then she lets it fall back to her side. “Thanks, Stella. You have been so nice, and I’ve had a great time with you and Jack. I know that’s weird because it shouldn’t be . . . fun, but it has been. I’m glad that, if I had to go anywhere, it was here with you guys.”
My chest grows tight, and I fight back the urge to cry. I don’t want to lose it now, not when I have so little time left with her. I want to hold her tight, never let her go, and spend every day getting to know her more.
I hate myself for ever giving her up.
“We’ve really liked getting time with you too, Kinsley.”
She smiles. “I know. Where’s Jack?”
“In the shower.”
She nods. “Is he going to spend the day with us?”
I pause, not sure what the hell to say. All of this is so awkward, which it wasn’t before.
The truth it is. “I think so. Do you want breakfast?”
“Sure.”
She comes around the counter and I gather the ingredients to start making my famous waffles—which aren’t famous but are the only thing I can cook.
Kinsley hands me ingredients while I combine the batter, and we work as a team. Jack emerges from the bedroom, looking all too delicious.
“Jack!” Kinsley calls in greeting.
He chuckles, looking at the pair of us. “You are covered in flour.”
She looks down at her shirt and shrugs. “Stella is really not careful when cooking.”
I tilt my head at her with a grin. “Hey! I’m careful.”
“The kitchen would say otherwise,” Jack says with a snort.
“We did get a lot on the floor.”
“There was no way I could’ve predicted the bag would rip,” I defend myself since they’re ganging up on me.
Kinsley snorts. “I said it was ripping!”
“I don’t recall that.”
Jack takes a few steps closer, inspecting the kitchen. “Is that egg on the cabinet?”
“No. It’s . . . not.”
It’s totally egg. I dropped one of those too.
Kinsley laughs. “It’s egg.”
“Traitor,” I whisper.
Jack walks deeper into the kitchen, looking at the carnage. It’s bad. I mean, there’s flour everywhere, and the egg thing is just one of the issues. I turn, putting my back against the counter so he can’t see the batter that spilled when I closed the lid on the waffle maker.
“Stella?” Jack peeks around to see what’s behind me.
“Yes?” I ask with a smile.
“What are you hiding?”
“Me?”
Jack’s gaze turns playful. “Yes, darling. You. What are you hiding?”
I bat my eyelashes dramatically. “I have no idea what you mean.”
His arms cage me in. “What’s behind you? More of a mess?”
Kinsley lets out a snort.
“Nope. I don’t make messes.”
His deep throaty laugh fills the room. This is the man I love. The fun, playful one who likes to tease me.
Two can do that.
I reach into the batter behind my back and then press my hand against his cheek, grinning as the mixture slides down his face. Kinsley gasps, and Jack just stares at me. “Oh, no. Did I make a mess?”
I am so in for it.
At the first chance of escape, I better run and pray he doesn’t catch me.
Jack doesn’t miss a beat. He turns, and I dart out, but his arm wraps around my middle, hauling me to him as flour rains down around me.
I squirm, laughing as he covers me with the dust.
There’s no way I’ll let this go. I grab my own handful and toss it blindly over my shoulder at him.
Jack lets me go, and I move to the other side of the counter so I’m in front of Kinsley. “Stay behind me,” I tell her.
“You think you can protect her too?”
“I think you’re slow and covered in batter and flour.”
He raises one brow. “Is that so?”
“What do you think, Kinsley?”
“You want me to choose who will win?
” she asks, amusement in her voice. She steps out from behind me and slides to the right.
I don’t take my eyes off Jack, knowing he’ll pounce if I do. “Pick my team so we can destroy him.”
She laughs, and when I turn my head, Jack attacks. She stands beside him, tossing flour at me, so I fire back with an egg. The three of us laugh as we cover each other and the kitchen in waffle ingredients, battling back and forth until the bag is empty, eggs are gone, and there’s no batter in the bowl.
Kinsley lands a perfectly thrown splatter on Jack’s face, and we laugh.
He moves around, looking for anything he can use as ammo and then stops.
Kinsley and I freeze, waiting and watching. He smiles. “Give up now, my love,” Jack taunts as he raises his hand to reveal the last egg.
“Never.”
Kinsley backs away, leaving Jack and me in a standoff.
I move around the island. Jack watches me, measuring each of my steps.
I keep going, a smile on my face as he lunges for me, but I quickly step out of his reach. “Nice try, babe.”
“I’ll catch you,” he warns.
“You can try, but you’ll never win.”
“I already caught you once.”
I take a step to the left, which he counters. “Yes, but this is different.”
“I will always catch you. Always. You can run. You can hide. You can throw flour at me, but you will never escape me.”
While the words are meant to be playful, I hear the underlying current of what he’s saying. It’s a promise, the truth of his feelings at the core of it all. Jack loves me. I know this, and regardless of what we have to go through, he’ll always be here. I don’t deserve this man, but I’m going to keep him anyway.
My hands rest on the cool marble countertop, and I lean in. “I don’t run from you, Jack.”
“No?”
I shake my head. “No.”
I’ve been doing exactly that, but now, I’m right here. Unmoving, wanting and waiting for him to catch me.
He takes two steps, eyes bright with amusement. “I’m going to catch you.”
“I’m counting on it.”
“One.”
“Two.”
Jack lunges before hitting three, bringing me down to the ground in a cloud of white.
Could Have Been Us Page 23
