My L! — thou art surrounded by all the melancholy gloom of winter; wert thou alone, the retirement would be agreeable. — Disappointed ambition might envy such a retreat, and disappointed love would seek it out. — Crouded towns, and busy societies, may delight the unthinking, and the gay — but solitude is the best nurse of wisdom. — Methinks I see my contemplative girl now in the garden, watching the gradual approaches of spring. — Do’st not thou mark with delight the first vernal buds? the snow-drop, and primrose, these early and welcome visitors, spring beneath thy feet. — Flora and Pomona already consider thee as their handmaid; and in a little time will load thee with their sweetest blessing. — The feathered race are all thy own, and with them, untaught harmony will soon begin to cheer thy morning and evening walks. — Sweet as this may be, return — return — the birds of Yorkshire will tune their pipes, and sing as melodiously as those of Staffordshire.
Adieu, my beloved L. thine too much for my peace,
L. STERNE.
LETTER IV. TO THE SAME.
I HAVE offended her whom I so tenderly love! — what could tempt me to it! but if a beggar was to knock at thy gate, wouldst thou not open the door and be melted with compassion. — I know thou wouldst, for Pity has erected a temple in thy bosom. — Sweetest, and best of all human passions! let thy web of tenderness cover the pensive form of affliction, and soften the darkest shades of misery! I have re-considered this apology, and, alas! what will it accomplish? Arguments, however finely spun, can never change the nature of things — very true — so a truce with them.
I have lost a very valuable friend by a sad accident, and what is worse, he has left a widow and five young children to lament this sudden stroke. — If real usefulness and integrity of heart, could have secured him from this, his friends would not now be mourning his untimely fate. — These dark and seemingly cruel dispensations of Providence, often make the best of human hearts complain. — Who can paint the distress of an affectionate mother, made a widow in a moment, weeping in bitterness over a numerous, helpless, and fatherless offspring? — God! these are thy chastisements, and require (hard task!) a pious acquiescence.
Forgive me this digression, and allow me to drop a tear over a departed friend; and what is more excellent, an honest man. My L! thou wilt feel all that kindness can inspire in the death of — The event was sudden, and thy gentle spirit would be more alarmed on that account. — But my L. thou hast less to lament, as old age was creeping on, and her period of doing good, and being useful, was nearly over. — At sixty years of age the tenement gets fast out of repair, and the lodger with anxiety thinks of a discharge. — In such a situation the poet might well say
“The soul uneasy, &c.”
My L. talks of leaving the country — may a kind angel guide thy steps hither. — Solitude at length grows tiresome. — Thou sayest thou wilt quit the place with regret — I think so too. — Does not something uneasy mingle with the very reflection of leaving it? It is like parting with an old friend, whose temper and company one has long been acquainted with. — I think I see you looking twenty times a day at the house — almost counting every brick and pane of glass, and telling them at the same time with a sigh, you are going to leave them. — Oh happy modification of matter! they will remain insensible of thy loss. — But how wilt thou be able to part with thy garden? — The recollection of so many pleasing walks must have endeared it to you. The trees, the shrubs, the flowers, which thou reared with thy own hands — will they not droop and fade away sooner upon thy departure. — Who will be the successor to nurse them in thy absence. — Thou wilt leave thy name upon the myrtletree. — If trees, and shrubs, and flowers, could compose an elegy, I should expect a very plaintive one upon this subject.
Adieu, adieu. Believe me ever, ever thine,
L. STERNE.
LETTER V. TO S — C — , ESQ.
London, Christmas Day.
My Dear Friend,
I HAVE been in such a continual hurry since the moment I arrived here — what with my books, and what with visiters, and visitings, that it was not in my power sooner to sit down and acknowledge the favour of your obliging letter; and to thank you for the most friendly motives which led you to write it: I am not much in pain upon what gives my kind friends at Stillington so much on the chapter of Noses — because, as the principal satire throughout that part is levelled at those learned blockheads who, in all ages, have wasted their time and much learning upon points as foolish — it shifts off the idea of what you fear, to another point — and ’tis thought here very good— ‘twill pass muster — I mean not with all — no — no! I shall be attacked and pelted, either from cellars or garrets, write what I will — and besides, must expect to have a party against me of many hundreds — who either do not — or will not laugh.— ’Tis enough if I divide the world; — at least I will rest contented with it. — I wish you was here to see what changes of looks and political reasoning, have taken place in every company, and coffee-house since last year; we shall be soon Prussians and Anti-Prussians, B— ‘s and Anti-B — s, and those distinctions will just do as well as Whig and Tory — and for aught I know serve the same ends. — The K. seems resolved to bring all things back to their original principles, and to stop the torrent of corruption and laziness. — He rises every morning at six to do business — rides out at eight to a minute, returns at nine to give himself up to his people. — By persisting, ’tis thought he will oblige his M.......s and dependants, to dispatch affairs with him many hours sooner than of late — and ’tis much to be question’d whether they will not be enabled to wait upon him sooner by being free’d from long levees of their own, and applications; which will in all likelyhood be transferr’d from them directly to himself — the present system being to remove that Phalanx of great people, which stood betwixt the throne and the subjects, and suffer them to have immediate access without the intervention of a caball — (this is the language of others): however the K. gives every thing himself, knows every thing, and weighs every thing maturely, and then is inflexible — this puts old stagers off their game — how it will end we are all in the dark.
’Tis fear’d the war is quite over in Germany; never was known such havock amongst troops — I was told yesterday by a Colonel, from Germany, that out of two battalions of nine hundred men, to which he belong’d, but seventy-one left! — P.... F... has sent word, ’tis said, that he must have forty-thousand men directly sent to take the field — and with provisions for them too, for he can but subsist them for a fortnight — I hope this will find you all got to York — I beg my compliments to the amiable Mrs. Croft, &c. &c.
Tho’ I purposed going first to Golden-Square, yet fate has thus long disposed of me — so I have never been able to set a foot towards that quarter.
I am, dear Sir, Your’s affectionately L. STERNE.
LETTER VI. TO THE SAME.
My dear Sir,
I HAVE just time to acknowledge the favour of yours, but not to get the two prints you mention — which shall be sent you by next post — I have bought them, and lent them to Miss Gilbert, but will assuredly send for them and enclose them to you: — I will take care to get your pictures well copied, and at a moderate price. And if I can be of further use, I beseech you to employ me; and from time to time will send you an account of whatever may be worth transmitting. — The stream now sets in strong against the German war. Loud complaints of —— — making a trade of the war, &c. &c. much expected from Ld. G— ‘s evidence to these matters, who is expected every hour; — the K. wins every day upon the people, shews himself much at the play, (but at no opera) rides out with his brothers every morning, half an hour after seven, till nine — returns with them — spends an hour with them at breakfast, and chat — and then sits down to business. I never dined at home once since I arrived — am fourteen dinners deep engaged just now, and fear matters will be worse with me in that point than better. — As to the main points in view, at which you hint — all I can say is, that I see my way,
and unless Old Nick throws the dice — shall, in due time, come off winner. — Tristram will be out the twentieth — there is a great rout made about him before he enters the stage — whether this will be of use or no, I can’t say — some wits of the first magnitude here, both as to wit and station, engage me success — time will shew — Adieu, dear Sir! and with my compliments to Mrs. Croft, &c.
I am your affectionate, and obliged L. STERNE.
LETTER VII. TO THE SAME.
Dear Sir,
I THIS moment received the favour of your kind letter. — The letter in the Ladies Magazine about me, was wrote by the noted Dr. H — , who wrote the Inspector, and undertakes that magazine — the people of York are very uncharitable to suppose any man so gross a beast as to pen such a character of himself. — In this great town no soul ever suspected it, for a thousand reasons — could they suppose I should be such a fool as to fall foul upon Dr. W — n, my best friend, by representing him so weak a man — or by telling such a lye of him — as his giving me a purse, to buy off his tutorship for Tristram! — or I should be fool enough to own I had taken his purse for that purpose!
You must know there is a quarrel between Dr. H — and Dr. M — y, who was the physician meant at Mr. C — S— ‘s, and Dr. H — has changed the place on purpose to give M — y a lick. — Now that conversation, (tho’ perhaps true) yet happen’d at another place, and with another physician; which I have contradicted in this city for the honour of my friend M — y, all which shews the absurdity of York credulity, and nonsense. Besides the account is full of falshoods — first with regard to the place of my birth, which was at C — , in Ireland — the story of a hundred pounds to Mrs. W — , not true, or of a pension promised; the merit of which I disclaim’d — and indeed there are so many other things so untrue, and unlikely to come from me, that the worst enemy I have here never had a suspicion — and to end all Dr. H — owns the paper.
I shall be down before May is out — I preach before the Judges on Sunday — my sermons come out on Thursday after — and I purpose the Monday at furthest after that to set out for York — I have bought a pair of horses for that purpose — my best respects to your Lady —
I am, Dear Sir, Your most obliged and faithful, L. STERNE.
P.S. I beg pardon for this hasty scrawl, having just come from a Concert where the D.. of Y... perform’d — I have received great notice from him, and last week had the honour of supping with him.
LETTER VIII. TO THE SAME.
Dear Sir,
SINCE I had the favour of your obliging letter, nothing has happened, or been said one day, which has not been contradicted the next; so having little certain to write, I have forbore writing at all, in hopes every day of something worth filling up a letter. We had the greatest expectations yesterday that ever were raised, of a pitched battle in the H — of C — , wherein Mr. P — was to have entered and thrown down the gauntlet, in defence of the German war. — There never was so full a house — the gallery full to the top — I was there all the day — when, lo! a political fit of the gout seized the great combattant — he entered not the lists — B... got up, and begged the house, as he saw not his right honourable friend there, to put off the debate — it could not be done; so B... rose up, and made a most long, passionate, incoherent speech, in defence of the Germanick war — but very severe upon the unfrugal manner it was carried on — in which he addressed himself principally to the C — of the E — , and laid him on terribly. — It seems the chancery of Hanover had laid out 350,000 pounds, on account, and brought in our treasury debtor — and the grand debate was, for an honest examination of the particulars of this extravagant account, and for vouchers to authenticate it. — L... answered B... very rationally, and coolly — Lord N. spoke long — Sir F. D — maintained the German war was most pernicious — Mr. C — , of Surry, spoke well against the account, with some others — L. B — n at last got up, and spoke half an hour with great plainness, and temper — explained a great many hidden springs relating to these accounts, in favour of the late K. — and told two or three conversations which had passed between the K. and himself, relative to these expences — which cast great honour upon the K’s character. This was with regard to the money the K. had secretly furnished out of his pocket to lessen the account of the Hanover-score brought us to discharge.
B — d and B — n abused all who sought for peace, and joined in the cry for it; and B — d added, that the reasons of wishing a peace now, were the same as at the peace of Utretch — that the people behind the curtain could not both maintain the war and their places too, so were for making another sacrifice of the nation, to their own interests. — After all — the cry for a peace is so general, that it will certainly end in one. Now for myself. —
One half of the town abuse my book as bitterly, as the other half cry it up to the skies — the best is, they abuse and buy it, and at such a rate, that we are going on with a second edition, as fast as possible.
I am going down for a day or two with Mr. Spencer, to Wimbleton; on Wednesday there is to be a grand assembly at Lady N — . I have enquired every where about Stephen’s affair, and can hear nothing — My friend, Mr. Charles T — , will be now secretary of war — he bid me wish him joy of it, though not in possession. — I will ask him — and depend, my most worthy friend, that you shall not be ignorant of what I learn from him — believe me ever, ever,
Yours, L. S.
LETTER IX. TO THE SAME.
My dear Sir,
A STRAIN which I got in my wrist by a terrible fall, prevented my acknowledging the favour of your obliging letter. I went yesterday morning to breakfast with Mr. V — , who is a kind of right-hand man to the secretary, on purpose to enquire about the propriety, or feasibility, of doing what you wish me — and he has told me an anecdote which, had you been here, would, I think, have made it wiser to have deferred speaking about the affair a month hence than now; it is this — You must know that the numbers of officers who have left their regiments in Germany, for the pleasures of the town, have been a long topic for merriment; as you see them in St. James’s Coffee-house, and the park, every hour, enquiring, open mouth, how things go on in Germany, and what news? — when they should have been there to have furnished news themselves — but the worst part has been, that many of them have left their brother officers on their duty, and in all the fatigues of it, and have come with no end but to make friends, to be put unfairly over the heads of those who were left risking their lives. — In this attempt there have been some but too successful, which has justly raised ill-blood and complaints from the officers who staid behind — the upshot has been, that they have every soul been ordered off, and woe be to him (’tis said) who shall be found listening. Now just to mention our friend’s case whilst this cry is on foot, I think would be doing more hurt than good, but if you think otherwise, I will go with all my heart and mention it to Mr. T..., for to do more I am too inconsiderable a person to pretend to. You made me and my friends here very merry with the accounts current at York, of my being forbid the court — but they do not consider what a considerable person they make of me, when they suppose either my going, or my not going there, is a point that ever enters the K’s head — and for those about him, I have the honour either to stand so personally well known to them; or to be so well represented by those of the first rank, as to fear no accident of that kind.
I thank God (B...’s excepted) I have never yet made a friend, or connection I have forfeited, or done ought to forfeit — but on the contrary, my true character is better understood, and where I had one friend last year, who did me honour, I have three now. — If my enemies knew that by this rage of abuse, and ill will, they were effectually serving the interests both of myself, and works, they would be more quiet — but it has been the fate of my betters, who have found, that the way to fame, is like the way to heaven — through much tribulation — and till I shall have the honour to be as much mal-treated as Rabelais, and Swift were, I must continue humble; fo
r I have not filled up the measure of half their persecutions.
The court is turning topsy-turvy. Lord B..e, le premier — Lord T..t to be groom of the chambers in room of the D... of R....d — Lord H...x to Ireland — Sir F. D...d in T...’s place — P..t seems unmoved — a peace inevitable — Stocks rise — the peers this moment kissing hands, &c. &c. (this week may be be christened the kiss-hands week) for a hundred changes will happen in consequence of these. Pray present my compliments to Mrs. C... and all friends, and believe me, with the greatest fidelity,
Your ever obliged, L. STERNE.
P.S. Is it not strange that Lord T...t should have power to remove the Duke of R...d.
Pray when you have read this, send the news to Mrs. Sterne.
LETTER X. TO THE SAME.
Dear Sir,
I RETURN you ten thousand thanks for the favour of your letter — and the account you give me of my wife and girl. — I saw Mr. Ch — y tonight a Ranelagh, who tells me you have inoculated my friend Bobby. — I heartily wish him well through, and hope in God all goes right.
On Monday we set out with a grand retinue of Lord Rockingham’s (in whose suite I move) for Windsor — they have contracted for fourteen hundred pounds for the dinner, to some general undertaker, of which the K. has bargained to pay one third. Lord G — S — , was last Saturday at the opera, some say with great effrontery — others with great dejection.
Complete Works of Laurence Sterne Page 101
