Our morning schedules and whose place was closer determined where we ended up. Not so secretly, I preferred my bigger bed and nicer bathroom. I picked the kabob place because it was closer to my bedroom.
About a year after I moved in with Mike, after being in this job for six months, I got sick and tired of sleeping in a single bed. I’m an adult, and I wanted an adult bed, one big enough to share. The universe was never going to take me seriously, wanting a relationship if I slept in a single bed. As soon as I determined I could afford a new mattress, I waited for the next big sale. Not only did I score a king sized bed for the cost of a double, they paid the sales tax, delivered the mattresses, and hauled off my old one. I loaded up my new bed with pillows and fluffy blankets. My bedroom looked like a mermaid’s boudoir all in sea greens and blues, and full of eclectic treasures.
Big comfy bed and the best lover I ever had, it was a good night. I think part of why David was so good was because we had been able to develop as a couple. Having been together for a while, we knew each other’s on-buttons quite well. He may have been skinny, and a little soft in the middle, but he had good arms and legs. His chest wasn’t roped with heavy pectoral muscles. I didn’t care. I loved him, and I would have even with a little more pudge and man-boob action. I loved his brain, his sense of humor, and his wicked grin. I didn’t love him because of his looks, but that certainly helped the initial attraction.
I particularly loved what David did to me. Warm skin on skin. A bite here, a nip there. A suck, a lick. It always felt so good. That night wasn’t any different. I could taste the beer he had with dinner on his tongue as we kissed. Everything tingled as we twined together. David did his thing, I enjoyed it completely, closing my eyes and losing myself to the sensations. For some reason, I opened my brain and looked straight into Peter’s eyes.
Peter’s ability to appear and disappear at random could be inconvenient. Inconvenient is the nice word I’m going to use, and not the string of curse words he inspired. I wondered if Peter was checking up on me because David had cancelled on me for the week before, and I hadn’t seen him all weekend. Peter was used to me being available, and this time had picked a really inopportune moment to pop in.
My eyes flew open. Nothing. I closed them again. Peter was right there, leaning on my dresser, in all his naked glory. He looked like he wanted to participate, more than turned on by what David and I were doing.
Peter appeared in top physical shape. Don’t get me wrong, I loved David but he was never going to be an underwear model or turn heads on a beach. Peter, on the other hand, had a model’s physique. His chest was broad and well-defined, his shoulders and arms bulged with muscles. His abs rippled with ridges like a washboard. He wasn’t overly big like a body builder, just extremely well defined.
And I could see all of it. I do mean—all of it. I had an uninterrupted view of his torso from the top of his head to below his knees. He was well proportioned, if not a bit bigger than I would have guessed. Perfectly thick and long. He took care by hand, what David and I were able to take care of together. I found it to be incredibly sexy and it heightened everything for me.
I watched Peter, I felt David. Peter’s hand matched the pace David’s hips set. As I reached my pinnacle, I refocused on David. We peaked in quick succession. Everything felt loose and all my muscles turned to liquid. David went off to clean up, I limply turned to Peter. The smile he gave me was wicked and sexy. I should have thought then that I might be in trouble, especially when I realized I really wanted to feel Peter on my body. I know I’d had wonderful sex with the man I loved, but my body wanted more, and Peter appeared ready and willing, too bad he couldn’t actually touch me.
I pointed at him and said, “You really should not be here right now. You need to leave.”
Peter nodded and faded. I was too limp to be angry. David felt so warm and comfortable when he returned to bed and curled up against me.
The next morning, when I had regained my senses, I became enraged. How dare Peter show up and indiscreetly hang about watching David and I bumping uglies? I needed to have a talk with Peter about that. David and I were not there to put on a sex show. That was for private personal enjoyment only. Thank you very much.
I really wished that ghosts could get text messages. I had no way of communicating with Peter, he always came to me. I couldn’t call him, I couldn’t text him, and I couldn’t email him. I couldn’t will him into existence. It was incredibly unfair. I wanted to talk to him about personal boundaries while it was all fresh in my mind. But I had to wait, and hope I remembered what it was I needed to discuss with him, and not get distracted by developments in the book with Johnny and Michelle.
Trina needed a new dress for a family wedding. She was tired of wearing maxi-dresses, and not in the mood to try to lose weight to fit into any of her pre-Sophie wardrobe. I felt the need to take a mental health afternoon and hang out at the mall with her. The carousel in the center of the food court mesmerized Sophie. Trina promised that if she behaved, we would come back and take a ride. After lunch, we headed toward the dress shops.
We stopped at the kids play zone between the food court and our shopping goals. Since I had the entire afternoon off, I wasn’t in a hurry to go anywhere. I had no problems sitting with Trina while we watched Sophie climb, slide, and spin. It was actually good, because I wanted to talk about David and Peter. I couldn’t believe I was having men problems between my boyfriend and a ghost.
In low tones, so all the other moms sitting around couldn’t hear, I told Trina about when David and I did the deed, and how Peter stood there, watching us and yarding off.
She cackled. “Only you would get a pervy voyeur of a ghost, only you.”
“Shut up, Trina.” I leaned in and whispered, “It was so fucking hot.”
She let out a fake gasp. “You did not get turned on by a ghost yanking his own chain.”
“I was already on, and cranked to the max.” I might have blushed. “And his chain is a beast.”
Full on perv mode. So, you thought me watching you was hot? Hmm, ’cause it was sexy as fuck watching you get off.
I froze. Peter’s deep voice sounded right in my ear as if he sat right next to me and leaned in just as I had done with Trina.
I’d like to see your face while I’m the one making you moan like that. If he hadn’t have surprised me, I would have blushed more. I felt like I did the opposite, all color bleeding from my face down to my toes. My throat went dry.
“You okay?” Trina asked, looking at my face.
“Yeah, weird goosebumps. Did it just get really cold in here?” I wasn’t cold, but I had to think of something fast. I wasn’t prepared to tell her Peter was present.
“I didn’t notice anything.” She went back to encouraging Sophie on the short toddler sized slide. “Okay, munchkin, Mommy has to shop.” She lifted Sophie and cooed at her as she swung her into her stroller.
We headed off toward our quarry. Trina had three shops where she thought we would be able to find a dress. Peter walked right behind me, off to the side. The sound of his voice in my head sounded like he was leaning in and whispering in my ear. I had all the sensations without the tickle.
Are you going to ignore what I said? His tone was low and teasing.
It seems safest. I though back.
You looked like you wanted me as much as I wanted you. Did you think about me while your man was on top?
Stop, okay, just stop. This was a hard conversation to have, I clearly needed to establish those boundaries I had been pissed off over. Peter was being sexy at me, as we walked through the middle of the mall. Granted, no one else could hear us, but it still felt out of place. I didn’t want to admit to myself, let alone to him, that yes, I did think about him for a bit while I was with David.
I loved David—I had to remind myself that. That scared me. I shouldn’t have to remind myself that I loved David. It should be a given.
The first store didn’t really have anything
that Trina felt flattered her figure. I had to agree. Peter kept making random comments about the clothes in the store. I got the impression he hadn’t been dress shopping in a mall—ever. I could talk to him in my head, but I could not laugh without making noises. The sales clerks must have thought I was crazy. Hopefully, she thought I was laughing over making faces with Sophie while her mom tried on clothes. We achieved dress success at the second shop. With a reasonable dress acquired, we headed back to the carousel. Peter followed a few steps behind me.
Okay, I admit you’re sexy. I confessed.
Peter made a satisfied chuckle sound as if he had won, and he had known he would.
But that doesn’t mean you can do what you did last night. I love my David, okay. I’m not going to have fantasies about you while I’m with him. It’s not going to happen. And I don’t want you to manipulate my dreams either. I felt like I defended myself against any and all possibilities.
You can have your own erotic dreams about me, but I can’t participate in them?
I don’t have erotic dreams about you. I lied. And if I did, they need to be my dreams and not you visiting my dreams and manipulating me. Look Peter, I can be your friend, and I will help you with this story rewrite of your life, but I can’t. I can’t pretend to have some kind of relationship with you. I love David, I’m loyal to David.
I heard him sigh. I admire your fidelity, and I respect your decision. As your friend, I’ll back off.
Thank you.
“So he’s here, isn’t he?” Trina caught me off guard with her insight.
“Yes, he is. Right behind me. How did you know?” I swallowed.
“There is a lot of paranormal activity in this mall. I was told there is a rift through a few stores over that way.” She indicated with her hand the north wing of the mall. “Besides, Sophie keeps looking for him.” She was right Sophie had been turning around and watching the space past me where Peter strolled.
Your friend is perceptive. His voice rumbled in my head.
“When did he get here, or has he been with you the entire time?” Her voice was even, never giving away that she learned a ghost followed us.
“When I got that shiver over by the play area. He just kind of showed up, making inappropriate comments.”
Trina raised her eyebrow at me. “Well, you were talking about having sex with David.”
I had no idea this mall had paranormal activity. I felt a little skittish. That might explain why Peter was able to show up here. He said he could show up in places there was a strong tie to me. This explained why at work and why at home. But I had no connections to the mall.
We made our way to the restrooms before the promised ride on the carousel. I told Peter to wait and not to follow us. No one could see him, but I would know and that was something I did not want to deal with, no sexy straight men in the bathroom, please and thank you. Fortunately, he agreed and went to lean against the railing.
When we came out of the restroom, Sophie, out of the stroller, pulled us toward the beloved carousel. She went straight to the section of railing where Peter leaned. She stopped before she got to the railing and moved to an area about three feet away. There was no visible reason for her to do that other than to not stand in the same space as him.
I slid into the space immediately next to him. Trina scooted in next to me. “He’s right there, isn’t he?” she asked, looking into the empty space.
“Yeah, did you see what Sophie did? She headed straight toward him.”
“I saw that. She stopped like someone’s standing there, then moved away.” Trina looked back at the horses at Sophie’s command. “He’s pretty benevolent, isn’t he?”
“So far. I mean, I can see him if I don’t look. And he keeps smiling at her.”
She can see me.
“He said she can see him.” I sighed and turned away from the spinning horses. This was all a little too strange for me—hanging out in the mall with my ghost. Actually, he was pretty nice to hang out with. He didn’t complain about being in the mall and the people there. David didn’t like malls, and was very vocal about going into one with me whenever I convinced him to come along.
“As long as he isn’t freaking Sophie out, it’s okay. She’s not crying, so it’s all good for now.” Trina scooped Sophie up and headed for the rider line. “You coming?”
“Yep, I want to snag that dappled gray horse.” I headed after her. Peter stayed put along the rail.
I enjoyed the ride, mostly because Sophie giggled the entire time and thoroughly enjoyed herself. I liked having Peter waiting and watching, and smiling at me every time my horse made its loop around. I’m not sure when Peter left, but he was gone by the time we got off the ride. We rode twice, before Sophie started her afternoon hyper-tired melt down. She wanted to keep riding. She needed a nap. She was done for the afternoon, and that cued the end of our trip to the mall.
6
I sat staring crossed-eyed at my computer. The morning’s infusion of caffeine hadn’t kicked in yet. I spent another night sitting in the middle of my bed writing into the wee hours. I really needed to stop this obsession. I was stiff from sitting on the bed and tired from staying up too late too many days in a row. I didn’t write the entire time. I spent a lot of time reading back over everything. Did it make sense? What did I need to write to tie two scenes together?
I wasn’t writing everything in the order it would be read, so I had to constantly check to make sure I included details early on that were considered common knowledge later in the story. I was probably going about it all wrong. I wasn’t a trained writer. I didn’t know how else to do this, and I wasn’t about to audit a creative writing class on campus.
Some benefits of this job were that it allowed for up to nine free credit hours a semester. We were encouraged to take classes for personal and professional development. I probably should be pursuing a degree with my free classes, but I couldn’t think of any degrees I wanted. I had the one I wanted and needed, plus all the extra credit hours for my specialty. Any art classes the college offered, I already had taken, that was the point of having gone to an art college—all art all the time.
“Gillian. Earth to Gillian.” I blinked, I heard Holly in my head. Great why was Holly in my head? She wasn’t dead. I panicked at the thought and spun around. Holly stood behind me.
“Whoa, space cadet,” she jumped back, “what planet have been on? I’ve been trying to get your attention for at least five minutes.”
I blinked at her. I had seriously spaced out—no wonder she laid it on thick with the space metaphors. “Ah, I was trying to focus on email. Wow, I really did zone out there. At least I didn’t fall asleep.”
Holly shook her head at me. “Here.” She handed me a job folder.
I opened it and flipped through the contents. It was a job coming back for a second, or a third round of revisions after a client review. I knew that but I could not comprehend what the job was supposed to be about, or what changes needed to be done. I tossed the folder onto my desk.
“Is it too early to go get some coffee?” I asked. I really wasn’t sure of the time, had I been at work for minutes or hours? I felt fuzzy brained. My late nights of reading and writing finally caught up with me and I was on the receiving end of a mental butt kicking.
“It’s never too early to get coffee. Let me grab my wallet.”
I was still in the same brain addled position when Holly came back to let me know she was ready to go.
I grabbed my wallet and we headed out.
We crossed the central quad and made our way to the popular coffee shop next to the student center. We could make a pot of coffee in the breakroom, but fresh air and a walk always helped to restore mental function.
I saw a student walk past with a large ice cream cone. I stared at it enviously. Now I wanted ice cream. Ice cream and coffee, that’s what I really needed: sugar and caffeine. Fortunately the barista at the coffee shop accommodated me when I told her what I really nee
ded. She made something that was more like a coffee milk shake than a mere cup of steaming caffeine, and she topped it with whipped cream in epic portions, and hot fudge sauce. It was exactly what was needed to jump start my brain. And to think, I had no idea they could even make a concoction of such delight.
Holly eyeballed my drink with open faced jealousy. “I should push you over and steal that,” she joked as we made our way back to the office.
“We can always turn around and go order you one,” I pointed out.
“No, I will stick with my small cup of half-caff, no cream, and half a teaspoon of natural sugar.” She sighed mournfully while looking at my cup of a million calories. Holly was on the rounder side of body types. I know she struggled with her self-image at times. I’m pretty sure hanging out with no body fat me could be a real pain in the calories, especially when I did stuff like this, have a whipped confection of nothing but empty calories, and not have a single pang of dieter’s remorse.
I would willingly trade her some of my caloric burning skills for some of her body fat. Especially if I could inject it directly into my boobs. Holly had a good boobs and a cute figure. She went in where women are supposed to go in, and she went out where they were supposed to go out. She wasn’t a hard body. Unfortunately society has trained too many people to think that women who look a certain way are the only acceptable body types. Holly was on one end of the spectrum and I was on the other. Men could be real jerks about a woman’s shape.
The caffeine, the walk, and the company did my head good. I was able to focus once I returned to my cube. The folder Holly had given me, before we took our break, did not fare as well. When I tossed it, it knocked over an old drink. The client notes were a blurred damp mess, the sketches completely ruined. I felt like crying. One stupid careless tired move and I made ten or more hours of work for myself. Ten hours I couldn’t bill, and would have to explain to my boss. I didn’t have time for this, I had a deadline. I decided to put it off and deal with it tomorrow. The rest of today was already allotted to a series of computer images that involved super imposing illustrated organs on top of photographs of different people. The illustrations had been completed the day before, today was all for the rest of the computer imaging.
Dead Sexy: Second Endings 1 Page 4
