Reggie assured me that he would settle down once I left, but I felt guilty for leaving her with Tanner to deal with.
Guilt. My life was consumed by it from all sides. Tanner, Reggie and of course, Carter.
I managed to pull it together on my drive to Carter's house. When I arrived, I focused on the task at hand and hoped that perhaps I might be able to leave a little bit early today so I could make it up to Tanner.
Carter greeted me at the front door with a smile that, as usual, made my heart twist into funny knots. He was wearing a T-shirt and shorts that showed off all his perfect muscles. Even the pair of crutches didn’t take away from the magnificent species of man he was.
"You're right on time. Would you like some coffee?"
"That would be nice," I said.
"Follow me." On his crutches, he hobbled along the stairwell, towards the back of the house. We entered into a large, warm kitchen. Carter's father was right, the home was very large and lovely, yet empty.
"Why do you have such a big house?" I asked.
For a minute I thought I might've offended him, but he laughed. "You sound like my family. This is a great house. Yes, it's bigger than what I need now but it's got an amazing history, it's beautifully built, and I like it here."
“I thought you traveled a lot. Isn’t it left vacant while you’re gone?"
He shrugged. "I've got great neighbors, and I have people that come over and check on it for me now and again. Besides, after my last trip, I decided I would stay home more for my dad."
"Your dad is nearly all healed. Does that mean you'll be traveling again?" It was really shameful how, on the one hand, I wanted his answer to be yes to relieve me of my duty to tell him about Tanner. On the other hand, the more I was with him, the more I wanted to spend time with him.
He shrugged as he poured us each a mug of coffee, and then handed me one. "Milk or sugar?"
I shook my head.
"I suppose I could travel again. Right now, there are some things keeping me here, but I guess we'll see how those go."
I felt a flutter along my lower spine as I wondered if I was the thing that was keeping him here. Could that be possible? He told Noah that he wouldn't settle down or get married, but maybe he changed his mind?
"Out back I have a pool if that's something that could be helpful in my rehabilitation. And like I said, I know my dad likes to swim so he could meet you here too for his sessions." He put his coffee mug down in the sink. "I’ll give you a tour of the downstairs if you like and show you the gym."
"That would be great." I put my coffee mug in the sink as well.
He led the way out of the kitchen and continued down a long hall where he stopped at a room.
“This is where I'm staying for the time being, so I don’t have to deal with the stairs," he said.
I looked into the room with a large bed, a dresser, and a side table with a paperback on it. It made me wonder what he liked to read. "What is this room normally used for?"
"When the home was originally built this room along with another one over there were servant’s quarters. I think this one was probably the Butler's room because it's rigged with a bell. Until recently, I just had it as a guest room, although, like you said, since I travel, I don't have very many guests. My father says this will be his room when he visits once I start filling this house with kids."
My gaze shot to him. "Is that something you're planning?"
He leaned against the door jamb. "Well, someday, sure. My dad is dying to be a grandfather. He's frequently talking about it, but as you know I don't currently have any prospects. Fortunately, my brother Ryan and his wife Kellie are expecting a baby soon. My dad is so excited to finally have his first grandchild."
His first grandchild. Tears welled in my eyes because Alex already had a first grandchild. A first grandchild that begged me to stay home and then raged at me when I walked out the door. The child that meant everything to me, and yet I was deceiving him.
The emotions of the morning welled up and I couldn't keep it locked down. It burst out crying.
"Oh God, Jess. What's wrong?" His voice was so sweet and filled with concern, but it served to only expand my guilt and increase my tears.
"Hey," Carter reached out, putting his hands on my arms and pulling me to him. I buried my face in his chest as I clutched onto his T-shirt.
His arms came around me, his hands rubbing my back. "Did I say something wrong?"
I shook my head in his chest, and it was quite possible I was wiping my tears and makeup all over his t-shirt.
"No, it's not you," I managed to say.
"What is it then? Please let me help you."
I kept my face against his chest, not able to look up at him.
He kissed the top of my head and then my temple. He didn't know that such tenderness was only making me feel worse.
"It's killing me to see you cry, baby. Look at me. What can I do?"
I tilted my head back to look up at him, and his kind, concerned face.
He brought his hands up, his thumbs wiping my tears. "How can I make it better?"
I yearned to feel his strength. To drown in his gentleness. And so, I did the very thing I’d been trying to avoid doing. I pulled his head down toward mine, and kissed him, "I need you."
"I'm here, Jess. I've been trying to tell you that practically since the moment we saw each other again."
I put my hand over his lips, because I didn't want to talk. "Touch me."
He seemed to understand, and he maneuvered us to the bed where we undressed. Knowing he had an injury, I was careful with the knee as I pushed him back and straddled his thighs.
His hands ran over my thighs as his gazed looked up at me in a mixture of confusion and concern.
I didn’t like it, so I leaned over and kissed him, hoping he’d give in and let instinct take over. To help, I rubbed my pussy along his dick. He let out a hiss and his hips bucked up as his fingers dug into my thighs.
“What do you want, Jess? What do you need?” he said.
“You.”
He let out a quick growl and levered up. His hands pressed against my upper back, pulling me toward him. His lips wrapped around my nipples and sucked, making me cry out as erotic sensations rushed through my blood stream.
“I’m here, Jess. Right here.” He licked the swell of my breast and then suckled the other nipple, his tongue laving over it as he did.
I moaned loving the delicious shock waves his mouth sent through me. I was impatient as I grabbed his dick and brought it to my pussy. I dropped down, taking him inside me in hard, fast movement.
“Fuck…” he growled, burying his face along my neck. “…Perfect pussy…”
I gripped his shoulders, vaguely mindful of his injury as I began to ride him.
“Yes, so good…” he murmured as he sucked my nipple again. “Take what you want, baby. Take it all.”
I liked hearing his words, but wanted him to stop talking. They made it too easy to believe in fairy tales. I fused my lips to his, and let my body take over. I gave in to the wonder of him pulsing with life inside me. Of his hands caressing and groping. Of his tongue dancing with mine. It was sweet perfection, even if it was a fleeting perfection. One that would be gone as soon as we hit the height of pleasure.
When it came, it was sensation over sweet sensation rolling through my body, followed by feelings of self-loathing that I had no control over when it came to Carter.
19
Carter
I held Jess tight as her orgasm rolled through her. Her pussy convulsing in waves around my dick, making it hard to see straight. But I wanted to make sure she was able to enjoy her pleasure until the very end.
I wanted to roll her under me, bring her up again, and then let go of the reins and send us both soaring, but I knew that would give my deception away, and I wasn’t sure we were at the point that she’d be forgiving. So, I held her over me, and kissed her. My fingers found her clit and began to ru
n in slow circles as I rocked beneath her.
“Carter,” she said, her voice sounding like she didn’t think she could come again.
“One more,” I said. “Give me one more.” I didn’t know how else to tell her that I was here and hers than I already had. Why couldn’t she see that?
Fortunately, she let me continue to touch her and so she was riding me again. She straightened, her head thrown back and her tits swaying as she moved. She was so beautiful. I’d remember this forever.
She moaned and picked up the pace, as her pussy squeezed my dick and my ability to stave off my own pleasure snapped.
“Fuck…yes right there…I’m going to come,” I said as I gripped her hips and bucked beneath her. Her pussy was so tight, so wet, like it had been made just for me. It had felt like that four years ago. I wished I knew why it was so hard for her to let go this time, but I hoped to hell I was on the path to winning her over.
I held off just long enough to watch her orgasm rock through her body and then I let go, letting mine blast through me. We moved together until sated and she collapsed on me.
I lay holding Jess close to me thinking that sometimes best laid plans turned out even better than designed. Based on how Jess had been behaving around me, never in my wildest dream would I have imagined we’d end up in bed ten minutes after she arrived. It wasn't in a way I would have preferred. What I wanted was for her to feel for me like I felt for her. I wanted her to see where this thing between us might go. But that wasn't what had gotten us naked in bed. She had needed comfort and I was happy to be the man to give it to her, even as somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered if maybe Reggie was the man that was supposed to be giving it to her. Or maybe these were tears because she and Reggie broke up.
I gave my head a quick shake, because I didn't want to be thinking of any of that. My focus had to be on Jess, and turning this moment into something more.
It was a good sign that she hadn't scrambled away like she had in the SUV, but I couldn't be sure that she still wouldn't do that.
She tilted her head back and looked up at me with her eyes searching mine. "It doesn't seem to matter how hard I try to resist you, I just can't seem to help myself. The chemistry is just too powerful.
I smiled that she was recognizing there was something between us, but I knew it was something more. "It's not chemistry. It's not just lust. We have a connection, Jess, one that we can't ignore."
I could see in her eyes as the wall began to go up.
"Maybe we can use this time together to explore this connection,” I said desperately wanting to stay with me.
"Explore how? Like another one of your adventures?"
"All of life is an adventure, don’t you think? Some are exciting and some are scary…" I was going to add that some might be foolhardy or dangerous, but I didn't want to give her any ideas.
"Which one is this?" she asked.
"For me it's exciting." I didn't ask her what it was for her, because I was afraid that she'd say scary and I didn't want that.
She gave a little shrug and laid her head back on my shoulder. That wasn't a no even if it wasn't a yes. Still, I’d take it as a victory.
She lifted her hand and looked at her watch. "We should probably get to work on that knee." She rolled off of me and I considered urging her back into bed. Hell, I thought about telling her the truth that I wasn't injured and suggesting all sorts of new and different ways we could make love again since I didn't really have a sore knee, but I didn't think we were quite at the truth telling yet, so I didn't.
She gathered up my clothes, tossing them to me and once I was dressed, she helped me up and handed me my crutches.
"Where's this gym of yours?" she asked.
"It's downstairs in the basement."
"Do you have an elevator?"
I laughed. "No, but that might be a good idea. I could probably hobble down the stairs, or there is an outside entrance that has a ramp to it."
"Let's go take the ramp to be on the safe side,” she said.
We left the bedroom, and I was feeling optimistic. I decided that I would increase my odds of success by showing her around the home. A home that could be hers as well.
As we made our way toward the back of the house, I said, "This is another one of the servant rooms that I've made into a guest room. If you change your mind and want to live in, this would be the room for you.
She glanced at it as we made our way past it. We made our way further along a side entrance that let out at the driveway near the garage. It was also near the outside access to the basement.
"How many rooms does this house have anyway?" she asked.
I was happy that she was taking an interest in the house. I hobbled down the couple of steps on the small back porch. "Well, originally there were six bedrooms upstairs, and the two downstairs for live-in help. One of the former owners converted two rooms into a master suite, and a smaller nursery was converted into a walk-in closet. So now there are four bedrooms upstairs plus the two down here."
We walked along the side of the house until we reached the concrete ramp and carefully, we walked down it to the side door into the basement.
I open the door, flipping on the light switch, and then let her in in front of me. She glanced around the space.
"Do you use this very much?"
I shook my head. "You know me, I prefer to be outside."
"Then why do you have a gym?"
"It was here when I bought it. The woman before me had used it as a dance studio. That's why all those mirrors are on that wall. I didn’t need a dance room, so I figured I'd turn it into a gym. You never know, maybe I'd fall down the stairs and I need to have physical therapy." I gave her a cheeky grin.
She rolled her eyes. “Sit on the bench there.”
I did as she asked. She gave me a few posture instructions and then asked me to extend my leg. I did so and made a face as if it caused some pain. She counted to five and told me to put my leg down again, then we repeated. We did that several times and then moved on to another exercise.
"Have you been on a Mexican cruise again since the one we were on?" she asked, as I squeezed a rolled-up towel between my knees. It seemed like she was trying to be nonchalant as she helped me move, but there is a part of me that thought she was fishing for information about other women since her. I wasn’t going to go into detail about that. Yes, I’d had sex with other women, but I’d never been captivated by one since her. That’s all she would need to know.
"No."
She turned her head to look at me. "Never?"
I shook my head. "Never. To be honest, it was sort of a fluke that I was on the cruise where we met."
Or serendipity, I thought. Destiny. I wonder what she'd think if I said that. "Cruises themselves don't seem so adventurous, but that one had all the cool stops, so I decided to take it and then I didn't have to worry about transportation between each location. As it turned out it was one of the best trips in my life."
She smiled but turned her attention to my knee, which bugged me a little bit. She really didn't want to give me any sign.
"How about you? Have you been on a cruise again?" I asked. Maybe she’d tell me about Reggie.
She shook her head." No." There was something in her tone that told me there was more information there and I desperately wanted to ask her about it. She was hiding something, and I didn't know if it was from me specifically or from the world. Whatever it was, it weighed heavy on her. I wanted to lighten the load for her, to be there for her. But I knew I couldn't push her to tell me what was going on, as it would probably make her move farther away. I needed to bide my time.
Fortunately, I bought myself a month, so I was going to make the most of it.
20
Jess
Despite all the self-control I thought I’d had, clearly I didn't have any at all. Within five minutes I was astride Carter again. No wonder he was confused. When he talked about exploring our relationship, I des
perately wanted that, and yet, I didn't. I wanted to give in to him and to believe that he and I and Tanner could be a family. But my fears about everything that could go wrong were too strong.
Luckily, Carter didn't push it, and instead we went on to have our PT session. Like his father, Carter worked hard and for the most part didn't grumble if the pain got to be too much. For me, the hardest part was in watching Carter move. His strong, lean muscles made my libido heat up again. Fortunately, I didn't jump him again.
On the drive back home, my mind was a whirl of conflicting thoughts and feelings. I needed to get them all settled down, so Reggie and Tanner didn't notice. I arrived home as Reggie was getting ready to put the dinner on the table. As usual, Tanner came running out and gave me a hug, but he seemed a bit more subdued.
We sat at the table to eat dinner and all three of us were quiet. I knew I was quiet because I didn't want them to know what happened between me and Carter, but it was unusual for Tanner and Reggie not to be chatty.
When Tanner finished his dinner, he asked to be excused and then he ran off to play in his room.
"Is everything all right with him?" I asked.
Reggie sighed, wiping her mouth with her napkin and then setting it beside her plate. "I think he's going to be fine, but we did have some acting out issues today."
"Acting out?" Tanner was three, so of course he was prone to the occasional tantrum, but acting out wasn’t something he did.
"I think he's just angry that you had to leave today, and he didn't get over it as quickly as I thought he might." She put her utensils on her plate and began to clear the table.
Wrong to Love You: Strong Brothers Book 3 Page 10
