“Not yet. I wanted to take him while you were here with us. Move over Tommy and make him comfortable. This won’t be easy for him.”
Tommy nodded and scooted to the side of the bed, and Gary moved in next to him, kissing Tommy in that dreamy, slow way Diego had kissed him. “It’s going to be good,” Tommy told him. “Let him show you how good it can be.”
Gary felt like he was giving up something, but it was something he didn’t need, didn’t want. Maybe he was giving up his resistance to being a part of something, instead of his lone wolf bullshit that had barely gotten him through his life up until then.
He spread his legs without being told and Diego gave him a smile for that. As Diego moved between them, he touched each knee with his lips, a brush of a kiss that sent chills through him.
Tommy rubbed a hand over Gary’s lower abdomen, which was sexy as hell, too. There was nothing they were doing that wasn’t sexy.
Diego ran manicured nails from Gary’s hole to his tightened balls, and that made him jump and start to squirm. “Come on, if you’re going to do it!”
Laughing a little, Diego scraped his perineum again and chided playfully, “You’re not running this war game, sweet man.”
It was a war, but it was a war with himself, as his insides conflicted with his outer self, the part of him feeling all the amazing things Diego was doing with his hands and mouth. Tommy sat up and handed Diego the bottle of lube, then lay back again and smiled sweetly at Gary. “This is all I ever wanted.”
Gary melted at that, pulling him over for a kiss. “Me too. I did miss you, Tommy.”
“I missed you, too.”
He was in love and admitting that to himself may be the hardest part of all of it. It was against his nature, he thought, against all he thought he could be and could have, but there he was, completely in love with two men.
Before he knew it, Diego was inside him, and the burn was minimal, with all the preparation Diego had given him. Moving slowly, Diego kept eye contact with him, as he had with Tom, and it did help. He was bound there, on the bed, unable to move, and barely able to breathe while Diego’s eyes captured him, keeping him in place.
He was stretched open, Diego’s long cock spearing him in slow motion, opening him not only for the sexual part of it, but to so much more that he hadn’t expected.
Tommy kept rubbing his lower gut and he whispered, “It feels so good, right?”
Gary nodded like he’d seen Tommy nod earlier, like he was drunk or high, and still, his eyes never left Diego’s.
After Diego was inside him as far as he could go, he stopped, and leaned in to kiss him deeply, slowly, taking his breath away, but giving it back to him with a word, “Breathe.”
Gary did, taking a shaking breath in and then he let it out on a chuckled. “This feels so good but so weird.”
“You’re opening yourself to me, and to Tommy. It’s the first step to a million others and it’s going to be scary and weird.”
It was like he was a fucking guru, working him through everything that bothered him and making Gary fly on a cloud.
“Ready?”
Gary tore his eyes from Diego and moved them to Tommy. “Am I?”
“You’ve been ready from the minute you met him. That’s why you tried so hard to hate him.”
Gary felt there was a lot of truth to that, but disguised it in a joke, “Fucking Yoda.”
“Take the cock, you will.”
Gary laughed and closed his eyes, but his laughter was cut short when Diego rolled his hips and started moving his cock inside him, sliding it over his prostate, making him groan loudly and open his eyes to see the twitch of a smile coming to Diego’s lips.
The laughter died, the denial did as well, as he started allowing himself to be made love to, being kissed, being coaxed into a place that he was soaring above his own body, his own selfishness. He felt the need to give everything to the two men on the bed with him.
Diego was amazing with his body, seeking and finding his prostate, deepening the thrusts, keeping a steady, erotically paced rhythm, all the while, his eyes kept Gary how he wanted him, and with a glance told Gary how Diego wanted him to move.
Tommy was in the center of it, remarkably, kissing each of them, touching them, watching everything with wide eyes and a leaking cock of his own.
Having fucked Tommy, then to be fucked by Diego and not coming once, he was feeling his climax building so intensely that he wanted to pass out and get up and run a mile all at once. He was teetering between darkness and light, pleasure and fear, and what was amazing was that Diego knew it and wanted him there.
“You want to come so badly,” Diego said, not in a question, he just knew it.
“Yeah, but I don’t know if I can,” he confessed, confused over the words, but knowing they were true.
Diego smiled wickedly as he sped up his thrusts, ramping up the lovemaking and causing that surreal place Gary was in to speed as well, as if he was flying through a tunnel and there was no light at the end.
Diego suddenly stopped, gritting his teeth as his eyes slammed shut and Gary felt him coming, the cock inside him jumping as he left his seed deep in Gary’s ass. Gary was ready to cry, to beg to be allowed the same release, but before he could get a word out, Diego’s eyes opened to his and he gave Gary the tiniest nod.
Instinctively, he knew what the nod meant and he released, a scream cut short on his lips as he tensed so hard, he thought he may squeeze Diego’s dick right off.
Tommy groaned beside him, obviously enjoying what he saw. “Damn, that was the hottest thing ever.”
Diego pulled out of him and Gary was soon in his arms, being held and kissed sweetly. “Gary, how does it feel to belong to me, to us?”
He could barely speak, his body was spinning, but he opened his eyes to see Tommy, then turned to him and started to cry. The only word he could manage was, “Good.”
Chapter Seventeen
It wasn’t him, not at all, they’d pushed him into it. Somehow, using his guilt over trying to sacrifice himself, they’d gotten into his head.
They were a tangle on the bed, limbs intertwined, Tommy snoring on his shoulder on one side, Diego on his back, arm under Gary’s neck on the other. If he moved, he chanced waking them, and they both needed the sleep, but he not only had to piss, he had to run.
Somehow, he managed to get untangled and off the bed without them noticing, then got his jeans over his hips and he took it as a sign. He pissed outside, the cooler air of the day slapping him as he stood bare chested by the bushes as he let his bladder release.
His emotional breakdown the night before, he’d let himself cry, which he never did, and the two of them held him until he fell asleep, Diego promising they’d talk in the morning. Well, it was morning, and he had no intentions of talking about it or anything else.
He knew he couldn’t run like he wanted to, far and fast, take the easy way out of his feelings. He’d never do that to Tommy again, and he didn’t want to. He did love the two men, but they were pulling things from him that he’d guarded so well that he didn’t know all of them himself.
Sitting on the bench where his strange submission had started, he stared at the bromeliads across from him like they’d have an answer for him. There was no answer because he wasn’t sure of the question.
The one thing he knew is that he had to stay and confront his feelings. It wouldn’t be easy. In fact, no matter the things he’d done in his life, it would be the hardest thing he’d ever attempted.
He’d never run from a fight except for one time. That was when he’d left Tommy, and he’d felt like a fucking coward. Tommy’s eyes followed him around the world no matter how far from them he managed to get. Now there’d be two set of eyes, and he would blow his head off before he could handle that.
When he’d sucked up enough oxygen outside, he thought to be nice and make the two men breakfast. When he stopped in the kitchen, he saw the huge bottle of prime tequila sitting next t
o three canvas bags of food.
Sometime during the night, Vincenzo had stopped in and brought provisions.
He poured himself a shot of the tequila and downed it, the mellow smoothness coming from the rich blue agave that spotted the landscape. He felt his nerves jangling less and poured another before looking through the bags, finding all he’d need for a perfect Mexican breakfast.
Starting the chorizo in the cast iron pan after getting the wood stove nice and hot, he cracked the deep brown eggs into a bowl then took down the mortar and pestle to grind the fresh herbs that were in the bag.
Coffee was percolating and the chili cured ham was sizzling in another pan when Diego stumbled into the kitchen, his eyes widening at the food on the stove. “You cook?”
“I’ve been known to,” he said, hoping Diego wouldn’t make any attempts to kiss on him. Morning love was great if it was in bed, sucking and using lube, but he wasn’t ready for the rest.
Luckily, he sat at the table and groaned, “I didn’t know how hungry I was until I woke up and smelled this. I never eat in the morning.”
“I usually don’t either, but I saw all this food and couldn’t resist.”
“He came last night. Scared the shit out of me. I got up to piss and he knocked on the door right when I was heading outside and we nearly collided.”
“Lucky neither of you got shot,” he laughed, but his heart wasn’t in the levity.
Diego was watching him, he felt it, but he refused to look back at him. The food was coming along nicely and when he started to plate it, Tommy came in, heading right for the coffee. “Smells like heaven in here.”
“Sit and I’ll get your coffee.”
Tommy did kiss him good morning, but didn’t make a production out of it, like Diego usually did, and Gary took the peck on the lips happily. He set down the plates in front of Diego and Tom, then their coffee.
For himself, he poured a half a cup and then sloshed some of the tequila into it, taking the cup and his plate to sit in the middle of the two of them at the round table.
After a couple bites, they were both moaning, reminding him regrettably of the previous night. He downed some of the tequila/coffee mixture and dug into his food.
“Diego, can I ask a favor?”
Gary turned to Tommy to hear the favor like Diego did.
“Sure, babe. What’s that?”
“I’d like to spend the morning with Gary. We’ve been apart so long, and we have a lot to catch up on.”
Diego eyed them both, but gave him a nod. “Sure. If I can have some time with him later.”
“Sure,” Tommy said, then shoveled more of the eggs into his mouth.
When they were alone after Tom and Diego cleaned the kitchen, Gary asked what it was all about, that tension between them. “It was like you two were planning this.”
“No, we definitely didn’t. What Diego wanted was for the three of us to hang all day and force you to get comfortable with the whole three-way thing, and I knew what a bad fucking idea it was. He means well, but he doesn’t know you like he thinks he does. Judging from how you were downing that tequila this morning, I was right.”
He’d filled a flask he had in his pack with some and took a swig after the last comment. “Yeah, so? Anyway, thanks. I wasn’t up for the deep heartfelt shit this morning, or trying to reason things out.”
Tommy and he walked together to the barn, where he found Tommy had been working on a ’58 Ford F-100. It was in terrible shape, rust spots and no tires, but the body was decent, and with some work, it would be a beautiful restoration. “Tom, this is gorgeous.”
“Yeah, your friend said if I can restore it, I can have it.”
“What? Are you serious?”
“Yeah, so I thought, when we weren’t busy becoming a throuple, I’d do this and hopefully I can figure out how to get it home to fix it up.”
Tommy was a lot smarter than most, and he, gave himself credit for. “So you knew it was a bad idea for us to have the heart to heart?”
“Yeah. You’re going to be busy peeking around corners.”
As he sat on an old metal milk crate, hoping it didn’t collapse, he gazed at Tommy. “What?”
With a shrug, he explained, “See, my grandpa was a soldier in Vietnam. His father was in World War II, and on and on back to the Revolution. Every generation of my family until my dad, who was an asshole and never did much of anything.
“Grandpa, when he’d talk about it, which wasn’t a lot, he said that old soldiers spend their lives peeking around corners, like they did in the wars they fought. The future was never a given, they could die anytime, so planning for the future was a…bad thing. Like superstition bad.”
Gary knew exactly what he was talking about.
“The most a soldier could do was peek around corners, see what is just up ahead. A mile or more could change in a heartbeat, but that corner, it’s right there, and you can get a peek of it and take it from there. That’s what soldiers do. You’re a soldier. You peek around corners, but anything beyond that freaks you out. If you try to plan on something long term, you’ll jinx yourself.”
Gary was flabbergasted that Tommy put into words how he’d lived most of his life, without realizing. “Your grandpa was a smart man. So are you.”
“I’m not planning on us growing old, Gary, in this throuple or whatever you want to call it. Diego probably is. He’s a planner, he wants the future mapped out and guaranteed, but I know if he starts that with you, you’ll bolt, no matter how much you love me, and him, and want this.”
Gary was up and pacing, having been found out so easily. “You know I don’t want to do that, Tom.”
He was busy sanding a rust spot on the rear fender and never missed a step in his steady rhythm. “I know that. I saw it, felt it, and I am okay with your doubts and you having to work all this out in your head a while. I’m not pushing, but he will. If you know that ahead of time, maybe you can explain it to him.”
“How do I do that without sounding like an indecisive ass?”
Tommy set the sandpaper block down and stared over at him. “I’m not sure about that. He’s a little stubborn, like you are. I know you weren’t okay with my ultimatum, Gary. I felt it when I made it, but I also have to protect myself. You hurt me bad when you left last time. I can’t do that shit again and again until you figure things out. But I also know that if you stay, and I think you will, you’re not just going to be jumping up and down for joy. He brings weird shit out in a person, and you’ll freak out more than once.”
He went to Tommy and held him, letting out a long breath. “Damn, you know me too well.”
“I do. Please, don’t leave. It’s not going to be easy, all this, but I think it’ll be worth the effort.”
“You’re worth it, babe, and so is he. It’s fucking with my head, yeah. It’s a lot for me. But it’s worth it.”
Tommy kissed Gary’s neck and whispered there, “I’m glad you think so. Go talk to him. I’d bet he’s wondering what’s going on with us.”
“Like we’re fucking?”
“No. I don’t know. Maybe?”
Gary looked down at his worried face. “Is that against some fucking rule or something?”
“There are rules? I don’t know!”
Gary kissed his forehead and assured, “If that’s a rule, that I can’t make love to you when and if I want, then the deal is off, and we need to renegotiate.”
Back in the house, he was ready to fight, but Diego smiled happily at him and asked, “Did you and Tom have a good time?”
He didn’t know how to answer, afraid he was being tricked. “Could have been better. I left him worried we were breaking some rule, or would be, if we were intimate.”
Diego pulled him to the couch, setting down the book he was reading. “We haven’t established rules, have we?”
Gary didn’t sit close, needing the space between them, and Diego noticed but was good enough not to say.
“Gary, if t
here are rules, and there probably should be, wouldn’t we all need to make them, agree to them?”
“How the fuck should I know? Are you the fucking head man now? Using your magic to keep both of us submissive.”
Diego turned his face and said, “Is that what you think? That’s not what I want, Gary. We’re all equals, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Gary was up, unable to hear that soothing voice another minute. “I can’t do this. I don’t know how, and I don’t know that I want to. I can’t follow relationship rules, have someone lording over me, and Tom!”
Diego was turning him, and he held him, though Gary half-heartedly tried to fight. “I don’t want that either. I would never lord over you. In bed, sure, I like to be dominant, but so do you. We just do it differently.”
His scent, his soft, firm skin, velvet voice, all of him, he was intoxicating. “I really am bad at this shit.”
“We’re all new to this, Gary. I must be bad at it too, to make you and Tom worry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
Gary opened his eyes and saw Tommy there, inching his way into the room. After he moved from Diego’s arms, he pushed him to Tom and said, “Tell him what you just told me.”
Tommy went into Diego’s arms and Diego indeed confessed he’d not been clear on anything. Tommy smiled at Gary, like a silent thanks, and then they all sat on the couch, and Diego let Tommy take the lead on the rules.
“What am I supposed to say? No fucking around, no leaving. That’s it for me.”
Gary groaned and laughed at once. “I told you, Tom, I’m not leaving.”
“I know, but it was pretty much the first rule we made.”
“True, okay. Next?”
Diego spoke up, “Like Tommy said, no fucking others. I mean, at least at the beginning of our tenuous relationship. It’s too fragile for anything like that.”
“I hate thinking of it as fragile, and I know why you think that, because of me. Yeah, I’m struggling with the thought of being in a relationship at all, and with two men, sure, it’s twice as intimidating. Maybe the first rule of mine is stop treating me like I’m going to take off at any minute. I only left yesterday to save the two men I cared about, and if that isn’t a commitment, I don’t know what is.”
Tug of War (Legacy Book 5) Page 15
