“You could have called, Scott.”
I shook my head. “Not after the horrible things I said to her.”
“If that had been me, it would have been hard. But our Helen is a sweetheart. You would be forgiven in a heartbeat. She misses you, Scott. She refuses to admit it, but I know she does. She didn’t want me to call you, though. She does have a stubborn streak at times.”
“So what happened?”
“She was fixing up the nursery and doing something she shouldn’t have been doing. She slipped and fell from a ladder.”
“What the hell was she doing on a ladder in her condition?”
Clare’s eyes flashed angrily. “Something her child’s father should have been doing while she directed the procedure from level ground. You’ve fucked up, Scott. But like I’ve said, there may be a window for you, just because it’s Helen.”
I sighed and pushed my hands into my pockets. I nodded glumly.
“I know. But for what it’s worth, I would like to fix things.”
“Give me one good reason why I should believe you.”
I stared into Clare’s eyes, holding her gaze. “Because I love her.”
I saw her eyes narrow then widen. She stepped into my space and looked into my eyes.
“You’re frigging serious, aren’t you!”
“As a judge.”
“Wow! The mighty Scott Dawson’s heart has been captured by the little small-town girl. That’s a gossip rag cover waiting to happen. But just, wow!” She put her hands into her hair and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes.
“I’m not the one to believe in fairy tale endings, but Helen is my best friend. Deep down, I believe that she feels the same way about you as you do for her. Wait here. I’ll knock when the coast is clear. Just please be patient.”
She slipped out of the stairwell. I leaned against the wall, forcing myself to be patient. I was tempted to just step out and take my beating like a man, but it would not auger well to have the newspapers report a hospital brawl involving Scott Dawson. They would dig and find out about Helen, and this was not how I chose to introduce my family to the pubic. My family. I was already seeing us as a family.
It felt like an eternity later, but finally, there was a knock on the door. Clare pushed her head around and beckoned me forward.
“Sorry I took so long. Visiting hours end in ten minutes. I’ve convinced the head nurse to give you an extra ten being that you’re coming from so far.”
We walked briskly along the corridor until we were back at Ward C.
“She’s in bed seven.”
“Not for long,” I muttered underneath my breath.
“I’ll wait out here.”
“Where it’s safe?” I raised an eyebrow quizzically.
“Exactly!”
I gave a small smile and entered the ward. My heart pounded as I walked toward bed seven. Her eyes were closed. They fluttered open as I sat on the edge of the bed. At first she didn’t seem to know who I was, then realization dawned, and her eyes narrowed.
“Please leave. There’s nothing and no-one here that pertains to you.”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Don’t make me call security.”
I sighed. “Please, Helen, just give me five minutes.”
“You don’t deserve even five seconds. Did you want to talk to me in July? Please leave.”
She turned her face away from me. I reached forward and placed my hand on her stomach. She gave a start, but didn’t push me away. I took that as a good sign. I leaned forward and rested my cheek gently against her stomach. I felt a shudder go through her. I looked up to see her wiping tears from her eyes. I sat up and gently pulled her into my arms, careful of the brace on her wrist.
My chest swelled as she sagged against me. I buried my face in her hair.
“I’m so sorry, baby. I’ve been such a fool all these months. I’m so sorry.”
She broke down then. I held her as she sobbed quietly against my chest. When the sobs subsided, I raised my head. I used the pads of my thumbs to wipe away the residue of her tears. I bent my head and captured her lips hungrily. I groaned deep in my throat as I realized how much I had missed her.
I raised my head and looked deep into her eyes.
“I love you, Helen. I love you so much! Those three months were the best time of my life, just being with you. I never wanted to go back to New York. I had every intention of working out how we would commute. Then you told me you were pregnant, and all I could see was Eve’s scheme all over again. I had vowed never to be caught in the pregnant trap ever again. I knew I was being a jackass, but I felt powerless to stop. That night, I wanted to come back so badly. But then I remembered the awful things I had said, the awful things I had done, and I couldn’t face you. Then Vivian called and said you were in the hospital, and Clare called, and now I’m here. I don’t know what I would have done if something had happened to you and the baby, Helen. Thank goodness it’s just a fracture. But I would have gone crazy if it had been worse.” I placed my head on her shoulder. I sighed as she stroked my head.
Sometime later, I raised my head and gently laid her back. She scooted over a bit, making some space for me on the bed. I rested my head beside hers on the pillow, and placed my hand on her stomach. I rubbed it absentmindedly.
“Helen?”
“Hmmm?”
“I don’t know the first thing about being a father that is a bit more than just a sperm donor. I don’t have a very good example with my father to follow.” I sighed deeply, then continued. “My childhood was awful. Many persons who stood on the outside looking in thought I had it all. My father was a famous director, and my mother was a successful doctor. What child didn’t want to have parents like that? I was the envy of my friends for my big house, chauffeurs, and maids. But I would have traded it all to get my hands dirty and ride the bus home. My nannies raised me. My father was always on set, and my mother was always at the hospital. The rare times when one or the other was home, I was pretty much ignored. The time when they were home together, they fought like cats and dogs. Let me correct that. Cats and dogs are the best of friends in comparison to how they behaved. I vowed never to put a child of mine through that, and so I decided not to have children.”
Helen stroked my cheek gently. “But you are not your parents, dear. You may be a product of them, but it doesn’t mean that you are them. You have an advantage. You know what not to do as a parent. And besides, it’s not a one-person job. It took us both to produce this child. Why would you think it wouldn’t take both out efforts to raise him/her?”
I looked deep into her eyes. I reached across and stroked a curl back from her brow. I took a deep breath.
“I’m willing to try if you are.”
She chuckled and took her hand in mine. She placed it on her stomach. I jumped as I felt a slight movement as the baby within her stirred. She smiled as my eyes opened in wonder.
“It’s a little late in the game to think of not trying, don’t you think? This is a journey we can’t turn back on. And it doesn’t come with a manual. I love you, Scott. And I love our child. We will learn as we go. And make no mistake, you will be an excellent father. There are at least four persons besides me who will see to it that you don’t screw up. How did you get in here, by the way? My parents left just before you came, and I know you’ve not been their favorite person for the past few months.”
“I know. I saw them. But Clare intervened. She hid me then brought me in when the coast was clear. She even negotiated some extra time for the visit. How did Vivian know you were in the hospital?”
“I could be wrong, but I would say Clare.”
I chuckled. “Miss Clare has been working overtime in the cupid department, I see.”
“She and Vivian have been talking for a while now. I found that out only two days ago, though.”
“So, Vivian knows that you’re pregnant?” She nodded. “Please tell me she doesn’t
know that I left you high and dry.”
“Much as I would like to reassure you on that point, darling, with Clare being the source of information on the matter, I highly doubt that any piece of information was withheld.”
“Wow! It’s a wonder Viv hasn’t carried out her threat of feeding me my balls if I hurt you.”
“I suspect Clare may have begged for a stay of execution.”
I grinned. “Clare, Clare, Clare. I don’t know how I’ll be able to repay her for all her meddling.”
“You can repay her by getting out of that bed so that the poor nurse who is standing at the door star struck doesn’t get a reprimand from her supervisor.”
We both looked up as Clare’s hair came into view. Reluctantly, I climbed out of the bed.
“So, you two are good now?” Clare looked from Helen to me then back at Helen. We both nodded, and she smiled. “Merry Christmas. Let’s go, Scottie.”
I bent to kiss Helen goodbye, then reluctantly trailed along behind Clare. She dug into her purse as we waited for the elevator to arrive. She handed me a black card.
“I think I overheard the nurses talking about some room change. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”
“Not a clue.” I plucked my card from her hand as we entered the elevator.
Chapter 20 – Helen
“A little to the left. Too much. Come back to the right. Okay, that’s perfect.”
I watched as Scott descended the ladder and picked up another painting. He moved the ladder over a few feet and climbed up.
It was amazing to think that less than two weeks ago, I had been the one climbing up in ladders. Scott’s reappearance in my life was nothing short of a miracle.
I had spent just a few days in the hospital. Another X-ray had been done, and a thorough examination performed, to ensure that the fall had not hurt the baby or me in any way. In the two days after Christmas that I had remained in the hospital, Scott saw to it that I was waited on, hand and foot. He had me moved to a private room. My parents had been shocked when they brought me a scaled-down version of Christmas dinner that evening. Scott had come to visit again shortly before their arrival. They had taken one look at him and my smiling face. My father had stepped out and, soon after, Scott followed. My heart had been in my mouth until they had returned. I looked from one to the other and was pleased to see that there was no tension.
When the hospital discharged me, he was there to wheel me out. I was shocked when I got back home and found that he had been staying at my apartment rather than the hotel. We fell into a comfortable routine.
I had to be out of commission until the brace came off my wrist. But while I was not directly involved in preparing meals, I still sat and supervised to some extent. Scott came with me to see to it that I followed the doctor’s orders to stay still.
There was a ripple through the staff as some of them recognized Scott right away. The nine-day wonder soon ceased when he rolled up his sleeves and dived right in to wash dishes and clean wherever was needed. They soon forgot his celebrity status.
He came with me to my appointment with Dr. Hinds. He recognized him right away as the man I had seen at the restaurant that night in July. He took over the appointment and soon had Dr. Hinds on his side, agreeing with him that I needed to be more relaxed than I had been.
The past few weeks had been bliss having Scott around. I almost didn’t miss the five months of absence. He had ordered a ton more stuff. There was barely any space to move around the nursery. He saw to it that I ate well and rested well. He was like a shadow everywhere I went. I quite enjoyed the attention.
We got used to going out in public. I had to get used to him being stopped and asked if he was who he was. Some persons asked for photos and others for autographs. I didn’t mind. He was who he was. That was his life.
Vivian had come to see us a few days ago. After the meeting and greeting and oohing and aahing over my belly, they had gone out. He had returned hours later, quite somber.
“What’s the matter?”
He sighed as he lounged beside me on the couch.
“I have an audition on the west coast next week. I told Viv I can’t leave right now. I’m staying with you.”
My eyes had sparked furiously. “The hell you are! You call her back right now and tell her you’re going.”
“I’m not.”
I had taken his face between my hands, forcing him to look at me.
“Darling, this is your job. I’m not going to take that away from you. When I get this brace off and even after the baby is born, would you ask me to stop cooking?”
“Never.”
“Then don’t expect me to be okay when you say you’re going to stop acting. Go. How long does an audition take?”
“It can be up to a week to do the audition and the callbacks.”
“Go. We’ll be fine.”
I watched as he hung the last picture. He would be leaving next week and wanted to ensure that he left me with no reason to climb anything. The nursery was pretty much complete. My hospital bag was packed and in the hall closet. All we had to do now was wait.
I sighed as I attempted to get off the couch. I felt as if I was getting bigger with each passing day. He stood in front of me and helped me up.
“I’m going to take a shower then start dinner.” I waddled into the bathroom and stripped. As I stepped into the shower, I felt Scott hg me from behind. I remembered the last time we had showered together and how I had tried to hide my still slender body then. He turned me around to face him. My arms moved restlessly as his eyes roved my body. This was the first time he was seeing me naked since he came back. He stretched out a hand and trailed his fingers down the dark line that ran from my navel down to my groin. He moved back up and caressed my swollen breasts, flicking the sensitive nipples with his thumb.
“You’re so beautiful, Helen. You’re glowing. You look so radiant carrying my child. He knelt on the tile and kissed my belly. My breath caught in my throat as he ran his tongue along my skin with each kiss. I looked up to the ceiling and closed my eyes, leaving him free to do as he pleased. I felt the baby move as he kissed around my navel. He felt it too. He pressed his cheek against my stomach and spoke softly. I felt a warmth on my skin and looked down to find tears rolling down his face.
“I’m so sorry. So sorry. So sorry. I’m so sorry I missed the first time you started to show. I’m so sorry I missed your first heartbeat. I’m so sorry I missed your first kick. I’m so sorry, my child. Please forgive me.”
The baby moved and kicked, and I gasped at the force of the movement. I watched as he continued to caress my belly and speak to his child. My tears flowed.
When at last we came out of the shower, it was almost sunset. He lay me on the bed and rubbed my body down with shea butter, paying special attention to the stretch marks on my belly. When he had satisfied himself that my skin was sufficiently moisturized, I slipped into a house dress and left him to make the call to Vivian.
A few days later, I left him at the airport. As I had predicted, he was back before I even got the chance to miss him. Now it was a matter of waiting to hear if he had gotten the role.
All too soon, January rolled into February. I was preparing to deliver any day now and felt as if I was as big as a house. Scott had become a second skin. A few days before Valentine’s Day, I begged to go to the store. I didn’t need anything: I was just tired of being cooped up in one place. I wandered down the produce aisle with Scott pushing the cart a few feet behind, as he conversed with Vivian. I had just reached for a back of grapes when I heard a familiar drawl.
“Helen?” I turned.
“Josh?”
“Whoa! What happened to you?”
I made a slight face. “It’s called being with child.”
He glanced at my bare finger. “I don’t see a ring. It looks more like being knocked up to me.”
“Baby, the cart is right here. What have I told you about lifti
ng heavy things in your condition.”
I looked behind Josh to see Scott. His face was thunderous, but he schooled his expression as Josh turned. He had heard the entire conversation. He plastered a winning smile on his face and extended his hand.
“Scott Dawson.”
“That’s cool, man. You have the same name as that actor.”
“Maybe because I am that actor. Give it here, baby.” He took the grapes from me before turning back to a now dumfounded Josh. “And you are?”
“Josh-Josh-Josh…”
“Nice to meet you, Josh-Josh-Josh.” He looked him up and down, then turned to me with feigned innocence. “Is he the same Josh that…?” He turned back to Josh. “Are you the same Josh that broke my Helen’s almost two years ago?”
Josh had the grace to squirm and look a bit chagrined. He held his hands out helplessly. Scott grinned and slapped him on the shoulder.
“Thanks a million, man. I owe you a world of gratitude. You gave her to me. If she hadn’t caught you fucking around on her, she wouldn’t have been depressed. That depression led her to a weekend in Miami, where she and I met. Our lives have not been the same since. So thanks a million, dude. I hope you lucked out as I did. Or maybe not. I don’t see a ring. Still playing the field then?”
“A guy has got to get around, you know.”
Scott nodded. “Yeah. Anyway, we’ve got to run. I just got this little miss out of the house for some fresh air. We’re due any day now. It was nice meeting you. Thanks again.”
Scott threw his arm around my shoulder and kissed my forehead as we walked away.
“You do know that it’s only the risk of making it onto the front page of the tabloids that made me allow him to walk away with his teeth in his mouth and not his hands, right?”
I smiled up at him. “I know, love. Thank you.”
He kissed my forehead again. “Let’s get out of here.”
February soon ended. I was housebound and uncomfortable. Most days, I wanted to do nothing more than roll over in bed. I struggled not to be lazy as I would have enough lazy days after giving birth. And so, difficult though it was, would get up and putter around the apartment.
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