by Frost, Scott
I started to lose hope. The only hope I found was in keeping Emma alive, and safe.
I found a Harry Potter book in the closet, and wrapped it in newspaper. I imagine it was intended as a gift to someone’s kid or grand kid. I gave the book to Emma the next morning. She read the book the entire day and late into the night. Before she fell asleep, she asked me if we were going to turn into one of them.
“No sweetie. That will never happen. I will never let that happen.”
She didn’t reply. She closed her eyes, and after a couple of minutes I heard her softly snoring. It took me a while to fall asleep that night. My mind refused to let my eyes close. It was hard to fall sleep. I feared for Emma. I feared for myself. My thoughts were constantly about Natasha. When I look at Emma, I see Natasha. We made it as a family for nearly five months since the world, as we knew it, ended. We had survived. It wasn’t easy, but we had survived together as a family, until two months ago.
Losing my wife sent me into a state of depression. Part of me is still depressed, but I’ve learned to deal with her loss. Though, I still hope one day we will be re-united, but I fear it wouldn’t be the same. It couldn’t be the same as it was before. People change. And sometimes people change too much.
During the first couple of weeks without Natasha, after Emma fell asleep, I cried myself to sleep. Some nights this took hours. During the day I was strong because that is what a dad must do, but at night, it was too hard. Looking back, the first couple of weeks were my morning period. It was a natural way to feel. I couldn’t search for her because of Emma. It wasn’t safe to be outside. And I couldn’t leave her by herself. Our food supply was down to two cans of baked beans and a can of fruit cocktail. We only had one liter of water.
Two days after Emma awoke from a nightmare, I knew it was time to leave. We had to, and so I stayed awake and tried to come up with a plan. I knew that we’d have to leave the next day. I figured Emma could eat one of the cans of baked beans and the can of fruit cocktail, and drink a glass of water. I could wait to eat.
We found the house by chance. I’m thankful it was deserted. It kept us safe. We didn’t make any noise. The windows were boarded up. The doors were securely locked. We were safe for the time being, but I knew that wouldn’t always be the case.
During the first couple of weeks I would hear them walking outside. They grunted as they walked. I watched them through the cracks in the boarded up windows. They appeared to be lost. They walked aimlessly with their heads down. I knew what they were looking for; food. I don’t think they knew where we were. I knew they could smell us, but they couldn’t find us. And that night, as I tried to develop a plan, I had images of the infected chasing us, with their empty eyes, and grunts. But I knew we had to leave. We needed food and water. And Emma had been running a fever for the last couple of days. I needed to find medicine. Her fever wasn’t that high, but I didn’t want to take any chances. She’d been sleeping more than usual. I didn’t know if that was a good or bad sign. I hoped that it was her body’s way of fighting off whatever virus she had.
The house was in a new subdivision on the edge of Manteno, IL. Manteno was a small town of about eight thousand people. Or it used to be. I don’t know how many people, like us, are hiding. I grew up in Manteno, but that was a long time ago. Well, I guess not that long ago. I moved away when I was 15. I’m 32 now. Since I left they built a Wendy’s, a new gas station, several banks and a coffee shop. And a couple new sub divisions. We were on the northwest side of town. The expressway is directly west of the house. Manteno Grocery Store is about one mile east of the house.
I’m not sure what I was hoping to find there. When the world started to turn into hell, people emptied the stores, taking as much supplies as they could carry.
The problem I was having is that I couldn’t decide the best way to get to the grocery store. I debated on walking through the country, around the town as much as I could or cutting directly through the town. They both had advantages and disadvantages.
If I only had myself to be concerned with, it would’ve been much easier. But that wasn’t the case. Emma has become a tough girl. She understood more about death at the age of eight than I had my entire life until the outbreak.
I feel bad that her childhood was stolen from her. I try and make her feel like a child as much as possible. The Harry Potter book greatly helped. She read it over and over. She use to say that Harry Potter, himself, was going to save us. I secretly hoped that she was right. But in my version, Harry Potter would’ve showed up with a fleet of tanks. But I would’ve been happy to see Harry Potter, all the same.
It was late that night by the time I finally figured out our plan. It was July, so I figured it was about nine pm when the sun went down, so I guessed it was about eleven pm. I was thankful for the night. It was July 17, I think, and the heat had been unbearable. At night it cooled down, but not enough.
We hadn’t bathed in a couple of weeks. Nothing works. There was no electricity and no running water, but we were use to not having those things. I don’t know if we ever really got use to not having the basic things in life. The electricity went off about three months after the outbreak, and the water lasted another month or so after that.
I had hoped it was just a local problem, but it’s not. The plan I came up with was to find supplies, and make it to the county, find a home with a generator and well water. It was a good plan, but I knew walking into the open country wasn’t that safe. If we were attacked we would have to run, and in the country the only place to run is into the fields.
At first, I thought we would’ve been able to find a vehicle, but so far, we hadn’t. We found one car that still had gas, but I couldn’t find the keys. I tried to hot wire it, but failed. And by the time I had given up we had made too much noise, and the infected were after us.
That is when we lost Natasha. They attacked us by surprise. We hadn’t heard them coming. We hadn’t smelled them. They surrounded us quickly and before we could process what was happening, they were too close. I grabbed Emma and ran. Natasha was next to us to begin with. But she could see that we were outnumbered and surrounded, so she ran the opposite direction, yelling.
“Hey! Over here! Hey follow me!” She yelled, and yelled, trying to get their attention. They turned and followed her, but not all of them, the ones that were closer to me and Emma continued to follow us. These infected moved faster; maybe their hunger made them faster. They needed food. And we were the buffet.
As I ran with Emma in my arms, her head in my neck, I yelled for Natasha, but my yells went unanswered. I couldn’t hear her anymore. That was two months ago and ten miles south of Manteno. We had been staying in a small apartment in Bradley. But the creatures found a way into to the apartment. I ran with Emma in my arms for hours, hiding and looking for Natasha. We didn’t see her again.
We stayed in Bradley for another week, but it wasn’t safe. Each new place we used for shelter was not secure. We hid, mostly in attics. The ten mile journey to Manteno was not easy. But it was where we had planned to go. The plan was that we could find a vehicle and drive to Manteno. In Manteno we would find a house that was secure, and that still had food. We would stay in Manteno as long as we could.
I had told Natasha that a new subdivision had just been built, and we could probably find a good house. She had agreed and so that was the plan. After staying in Bradley for a week, I decided that it was time to move on. I had hoped that Natasha had found a way to Manteno and was searching for us.
I watched Emma sleep that night. It was dark and it was hard to make out her face, but I could hear her peaceful breathing. We slept in the master bedroom. It provided us a quick escape to the attic and had its own bathroom, not that the bathroom gave us much use.
The bedroom was large, and had a vaulted ceiling. It was on the second floor. I kept the door closed and locked most of the time. At night before I turned in for the night, I would slowly barricade the door with a heavy oak dresser. I moved
it slowly, trying not to make much noise. The attic could be reached from the master walk-in closet. It had a pull down ladder. We kept most of our supplies in the bedroom, but just in case we had to make a quick dash to the attic, I kept some supplies in the attic. The bedroom had a king bed. Most nights Emma slept on the king bed, and I fell asleep sitting in a rocking chair, keeping guard, listening for movement.
We’d been there for about two months, but mostly we stayed upstairs. During our first few nights there, I boarded up the windows. I used everything I could find. I found some old plywood in the garage, and busted several dressers and bookshelves to finish the job. I worked slowly, trying to lessen the noise. We had gotten lucky. They didn’t hear us. After the first floor was secure I searched the house for everything that we could use. I made many trips, carrying everything I found from the first floor to the second floor. Emma helped. She filled her Care Bear bag with everything she found. We spent the first few days moving stuff.
And as the sun set the second day we got there we had the walk-in closet, the tub, and the entire bedroom filled with supplies. I wish we could have found more food and water, but I guess I can’t complain.
The house was empty when we found it. The door was open. There were bags in the living room, and items were littered everywhere. The three car garage was empty. It looked as though whoever had lived there left in a hurry. We walked in slowly. I had my rifle, loaded and ready. As we walked into the house, I shut the door behind us, and pushed Emma behind me. I didn’t think they could open a door and if they had seen us come in, I would hear them pounding on the door, trying to get in. We searched the entire house. It was empty. We were both relieved. Like I said the ten mile trip from Bradley was not easy, but we made it. We were safe.
I sat there in the dark, watching Emma sleep. My mind went to Natasha and the day we met. It feels like a lifetime ago.
We met in Barnes and Noble, the local hangout for myself and my good friends, Seth and Cindy. We met nine year ago. We were both shy. I wish I could say I was the one that started the conversation, but I wasn’t. I was sitting at a table reading a book, when she approached me. The cafe was crowded and there were no empty tables. I was sitting at a table for four. I had my bag on one of the chairs and the other two remained empty.
“Excuse me,” She said, shyly. I looked up from my book and smiled. She was beautiful. I sat there looking at her for what seemed to last a couple of minutes, but in truth, only lasted a couple of seconds.
“Hi, I hate to bother you but there aren’t any tables open. And if these seats aren’t being used, would you mind if I sit down and read?”
Did I mind, hell no. She was beautiful, and her smile attracted me instantly. She stood
there, with a cup of coffee in one hand, a copy of Pride and Prejudice in the other. She shrugged her shoulders, as if saying that she wanted to sit down, it was a cute gesture.
“I don’t mind. Please sit down, that book looks heavy.” I said with a soft laugh.
“Yeah, I know. I almost dropped while I was waiting for you to answer.”
As she sat down, she pretended to drop the book on the table, showing me how heavy it really was. She was trying to be graceful, but it didn’t work. As she was joking about the book being heavy, it slipped out of her hand and hit my coffee cup, spilling it on my book and onto my lap. Her smile vanished.
“Oh my God, I’m sorry. I can’t believe I did that.” She ran to the condiment counter and grabbed a handful of napkins. I sat there, laughing, as I watched her run. I wasn’t mad. She was too adorable, running and shaking her head, to be mad at her. When she reached the table, I was still laughing, but I felt bad because her face was flush red. She handed me some napkins and used the others to clean the table. My book was ruined. Luckily my pants weren’t that wet. I dried myself as best as I could, and helped her finish drying the table. When the table was clean, she picked up her book, and coffee cup, and started to turn away. Her face was still red.
“Don’t go. Stay, and sit down,” I quickly said.
“I’m so sorry. I’m just so embarrassed. Are you sure? Aren’t you worried that I will spill my coffee on you?”
Even though, she was still upset with herself, she smiled and let out a small laugh.
“Yes, I’m petrified that you might. It’s a chance I’m willing to take. Please sit down. I have an idea.”
I stood up and reached for her coffee cup. Our fingers lightly touched as she let go of the coffee cup. I put the coffee cup down on the table, and gave her the best triumphant smile I could conjure.
“Now, I think we should be safe,” I said, as I winked at her.
She sat down, cheeks still red. I watched her as she sat down. She was beautiful. She had beautiful blueish green eyes, and long flowing hair. She caught my stare, and smiled.
“Look at your book, it’s ruined. What book were you reading before I destroyed it with your coffee? Let me go buy you a new cup of coffee and a new book.”
“Don’t worry about it. I haven’t even paid for the book. And the coffee, okay, yes, you do owe me a coffee. Better yet, since you’ve ruined my pants, and my coffee, I think you should buy me a cup of coffee and a slice of cheesecake.” I said, laughing.
“Okay. I’ll be right back. What type of cheesecake do you want?”
“I was just kidding. I’m good. It was an accident. And it was my third cup of coffee tonight. I don’t think I need another, by the way, I’m Alex.” I said, as I extended my hand to her.
“Hi, I’m Natasha, or if you prefer, Klutzo.” Her cheeks were starting to return to a normal color. We talked until the cafe closed. After that night we were inseparable. We fell in love, and though neither of us admitted it right away, I believe we both fell in love that night at Barnes and Noble.
Chapter Three
I woke later than usual. Emma was already awake and reading her favorite possession, the Harry Potter book. It was a relief that she had something to keep her mind occupied. Before I gave her the book, she would often sit, with her eyes closed, and talk to herself. At first I thought she was talking to an imaginary friend, but she admitted that she was talking to herself. She found comfort in talking to herself. It scared me. I thought she was losing her mind. The book helped. Her new imaginary friend was Mr. Harry Potter, and as imaginary friends go, he wasn’t a bad one to have.
As my eyes opened, I could see her laying on the bed, on her stomach, reading. She hadn’t noticed I was awake. She kept reading. My legs and back were in pain. And as I tried to stand up, my legs ached in agony. Sleeping on the rocker was never a good idea. I decided to stay sitting. I didn’t want to interrupt Emma. I knew when she was ready to eat, or ready to wake me up, she would. And so I sat and thought about the day ahead of us. I had planned the trip to the grocery store in my head. It was flawless, at least in my mind. In truth, nothing was flawless. There wasn’t a safe way to get there. And if we did get there without a problem, getting back to safety might not be easy going.
I decided that we would walk around the outskirt of the town, along 8000 west, and as we approached the end of the subdivision, we would cut across Sullivan Street and head toward the lake. It resembled more of a pond, but held the name, Lake Manteno. Once we reached the lake, we would jump the fence and focus on staying hidden in the woods. We would walk the long way around the lake and once we reached the eastern side, we would jump another fence and then only have three blocks to walk. I figured three blocks would be safe.
We would have a few houses to hide in between, a grain elevator, and then we were home free, in theory. But in truth, I had no idea what was waiting for us.
I hadn’t seen that many of them. They came and went. I think most of them left small towns, like Manteno, in an attempt to find food.
Maybe by instinct they walked toward large metropolitan areas like Chicago. I didn’t think they could think, but then again I didn’t know much about them. I knew enough to stay away from them. I knew they were once
like me, and Emma, they were once alive. They had minds and emotions. But now they were driven it seemed by the bare necessity of life, food. They didn’t hunt. They simply walked. They could hear and smell. We didn’t smell that good, in fact, maybe we even smelled of death.
We had seen enough death on our journey from Bradley to Manteno. I had touched them. The news reports, before the TV channels went off air, said that this virus, that was spreading the nation, was not airborne. The only way you could be affected was by the saliva or blood from one of them. But viruses have a way of mutating, and one of my biggest fears was that the virus would become airborne, if it did, the living world, as we knew it, would end.
I had three major fears: The above fear. Secondly, losing Emma, and thirdly, not finding Natasha. But within each of those fears, there were hundreds more. If something happened to me, I knew Emma would not be able to survive.
Back to the plan, it wasn’t perfect, but it was the best I could come up with. If we ran into trouble, we could find a house to hide in. I was in good shape and could out run them, after all, they were pretty slow. The problem was that carrying Emma slowed me down.
I’ve seen many horror movies, and I’m thankful that they are not like the monsters I’ve seen on TV. They aren’t intelligent. They don’t act as a team. They do not have a collective mind. They don’t plan. They don’t do much of anything, but attack in order to eat. I’ve seen them eat. I’ve witnessed many horrors. The worst was a group of them attacking two children. The children had run as long as they could before their legs tired and they couldn’t run anymore. This was during the first few months of the outbreak. Back when our family was intact.
We were hiding in a van; it was a safe temporary shelter. I heard screaming and climbed into the front seat, keeping my head low. I heard footsteps coming at us fast. I knew that the footsteps were from unaffected people. As they ran past the van, I slowly raised my head, and had my eyes level with the base of the window. Two kids were running down the side walk. I couldn’t see what they were running away from, but I didn’t have to see, I knew what they were running from. They were running from the infected. And eventually I saw the group of infected walking, at a fast pace, but still rather slow.
