by S. M. Soto
I nod slowly, trying to process the torment in my chest with the reality of his words, and make sense of what I heard Holly say. I hate that his words invoke any kind of hope in my chest.
“She said you asked her out.” I clear my throat, despising how weak I sound. Because as much as it pains me to admit, I hate that he’s moved on from me so quickly. Not long ago, he was chasing after me, trying to court me, and now he’s all but ready to fall back into old habits with her. “Look, I know you hate me. I get it. It’s fine, you know, if you want to. Just as long as Luna isn’t involved.”
“I don’t hate you,” he murmurs gruffly.
I scoff. “Really? I’d like to see how you treat people you do hate.”
Endymion heaves a deep sigh. “I’m upset with you, sure, and as much as I’d like to, I don’t hate you.”
I sneak a glance up at him, and he’s searching my gaze, something akin to heat brewing in his colored eyes, but I know that can’t be right. My mind must be playing tricks on me.
“Well,” I clear my throat. “Whatever your feelings are, just know it’s okay. You can date whoever you want.”
“And what if I don’t want her? What would you say to that?”
“Want who?” I ask, my heart pounding in my chest.
“Holly. What if I don’t want Holly?”
My heart is a steel drum in my chest as it pounds recklessly. I swallow past the golf ball-sized lump in my throat. “Who would you want then, if not her?”
I wait with bated breath for his answer. He searches my gaze, and I don’t know if I imagine it, but I swear he steps closer. His grip on my hand gets a little tighter. The heat in his eyes kicks up a few notches.
“Everything okay over here?”
A surprised squeak tumbles past my lips at the sound of Aurora’s voice. I jerk away from Endymion as if we were caught kissing. Heat settles in my cheeks, and my chest heaves violently as it works to accommodate my breathing.
“Fine. We’re fine,” I pant out in a panic. “I was just about done in here. I can help you clean up out there.”
She smiles, her gaze darting back and forth between her son and me. “Don’t worry about it. We’ve already got it cleaned up and don’t feel too bad. Everyone hates Mrs. Wallace’s casserole. I think you did everyone a favor today. Though, she might be a bit upset about her tray. But don’t you worry yourself about that.”
“I’ll pay her back. I promise.”
Aurora laughs softly, pulling me in stride with her. “You’re too sweet for your own good, you know that?”
For the rest of the evening, I stay near Luna and Julia, avoiding Endymion at all costs. I made Julia promise she wouldn’t leave my side, so no more awkward conversations would pass between us. Part of me wishes my parents would’ve come. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so out of place. I understand why they didn’t, though. The last thing my father wants on him is the pitying eyes of everyone in town.
I keep thinking back to what Endymion said earlier, or really, what he didn’t say.
“What if I don’t want Holly?”
If not Holly, who else?
It couldn’t be me, could it? Especially not after everything that has happened. There is no way he can still feel anything for me. It also doesn’t escape my notice the way he dodges and avoids Holly the rest of the night. It makes me unreasonably happy—much more than it should. I have no right to feel this way. It’s stupid. I’m setting myself up for failure. Plunging face first into heartbreak, and I can’t stop myself.
I am only realizing now how dangerous being in love with a man like Endymion is for the mind, body, and soul.
He’s already destroyed me once, and I’m determined not to let it happen again. Not after all the progress. Not now that Luna is involved. This time around, I need to be smart.
Endymion is off-limits.
“Where are we going, Daddy?” Luna asks from the backseat.
Selene dropped her off earlier before she went to work at the diner. For the last week and a half, we’ve finally found somewhat of a routine. With her working at Rita’s and me running the company with the guys, finding enough time to spend with my daughter has been a challenge. Luna has been a welcome joy in my life. Working around the business and making time for her has been my top priority.
“Want to visit your mom for a little bit? Thought we could get some lunch.”
Luna squeals in the backseat, obviously liking that idea. It warms my heart, seeing how much she loves her mom. Selene is incredible with her. She’s beyond patient and incredibly loving. Both of them together are a vision. It does something strange whenever I see them together. Hell, even my anger is slowly dissipating. And in its place is desire, because even after everything that has happened, I still want Selene. She’s beautiful. Inside and out. I have to force myself to look angry or portray this cold façade that gives nothing away because when I’m near this woman, all I seem to do is feel.
I was so close to telling her that day in my parents’ bathroom. It isn’t Holly I want; it’s her.
I’m tired of the bullshit.
I know what I want, and that’s my daughter and Selene.
I want them both.
If my mother hadn’t walked in when she did, I would’ve kissed her. Damn the consequences, damn my anger. I would’ve kissed this woman because she’s all I can think about. All I want.
Taking Luna’s hand in mine, I help her out of the truck, and we walk hand in hand into Rita’s. The patrons dining inside turn around when the bell announces our arrival. Rita, the owner of the place, smiles when she sees us.
“Well, hey there,” she greets us, getting us seated at a table. It’s a corner booth near the register, away from the craziness of the diner. “What are we getting for you today, little lady?”
“Hmm. A cheeseburger with French fries, please. Oh, and my mommy.”
Rita laughs. “Okay, little miss, I’ll get right on that for you. What are you having, End?”
“I’ll have my usual. Thanks, Rita.”
With a soft, familiar smile, she leaves us, and I search the diner for any sign of Selene. I spot her taking orders at a rowdy table. When I see who is sitting there, my back teeth gnash together, and the muscles along my jaw jump with frustration. Thomas—Holly’s boyfriend or ex-boyfriend, whatever the hell they are now—and his friends are all seated there, and the way they’re looking at Selene, damn near eye-fucking her in her work outfit, doesn’t sit well with me.
“Is Papa sick?” Luna suddenly asks, dragging my attention away from her mother and the guys at the table.
My brows pull together in a frown. “What makes you ask that?”
My happy little girl grows serious. “At the party, that lady you were talking to said something to her friend. She said the only reason me and Mommy are here is because Papa is sick. Then she said he’s going to die.”
Fury burns in my chest. The flames lick at my organs, incinerating me from the inside out. I press my lips in a hard line and my nostrils flare, working to tamp down my anger. What the hell am I supposed to say to that? The only reason I spoke to Holly was because I didn’t want to be a dick, especially not in front of my daughter. We are still getting to know each other, and I didn’t want to tell Holly to “fuck off” in front of Luna. Some other part of me wanted to forget about the awkwardness between us. We were once friends before anything else.
I haven’t thought about her in years. She was a close friend, but sometime during high school, that changed. I’ve never been in love, and I think that’s what bothers Holly the most about our previous relationship. The fact that I was never able to let myself go and fall for her. I came to the conclusion long ago that she just wasn’t the right girl for me. I didn’t feel a spark when I was with her. All I felt was comfortability. It was easy being with her. I didn’t have to think twice about anything.
But with Selene? I’ve feel that spark, that tug of magnetism when we’re in the same room. It’s as if my bod
y knows her frequency the second she steps into a room. I think that spark has always been there; she just doesn’t know it. I felt it that first night I got into town. When I locked gazes with a beautifully soft girl who was standing amongst a sea of sugar, it was a jolt to the system, the fact that I wanted to know more about her. She doesn’t know this, but over the years, when we’d run into each other, I could recall every moment spent with her. Hell, the only instance I don’t clearly remember with her is the night at the creek.
This is what they call fate, I think. This electricity, this magnetism. This strange feeling in my gut.
She was always so quiet and soft-spoken. So goddamn beautiful. She had this purity about her, this light that made you want to leave her untouched and merely watch and admire her from a distance. That’s exactly what I did all those years. She may believe she was invisible to everyone all those years ago, but she’s wrong. It was painfully obvious Selene was the most beautiful girl in town. That hasn’t changed.
The fact that Holly would let that slip in front of my daughter says a lot about her. She hasn’t changed one bit since high school. This is exactly her MO. She’s immature, doesn’t care about anyone but herself, and obviously doesn’t know when to keep her mouth shut. The whole town knows Gavin is sick, but that doesn’t mean they’re gossiping about it in front of him and his family.
I grip at the back of my neck, trying to find the correct way to tackle this. I may be her father, but Gavin is Selene’s father. I don’t know if they plan on talking to Luna if things begin to deteriorate, or if they’ll keep her in the dark until he’s ready. Hell, I don’t even know what I want to do. I don’t want to lie to her, but I don’t want to break my daughter’s heart either. I’ve seen how much she loves her Papa Gavin, and losing him will be devastating for her.
“Why haven’t you asked your mom?”
Luna shrugs. “I think it might make Mommy sad. I told Papa last night that I wanted a little brother or sister to play with, and he looked like he was gonna cry.”
It takes me a second to process her words. “You want a little brother or a sister?”
She nods. “I want a real family.”
Her innocent words are a puncture to the heart. Pain seeps into my chest, and I swallow. “We are a real family.”
Luna shakes her head. “At my old school, all the other mommies and daddies live together, but you and Mommy don’t. I want a family like that. A real family with a mommy, a daddy, and a baby sister. But I’ll take a little brother, too.”
I choke on a laugh at her truthfulness. “I want that, too.”
“You do?” she asks, eyes wide.
“I do.”
My back tingles with awareness, and when I glance at the back doors of the diner, I see why. Selene is headed toward us; her hair pulled back into a messy braid that does nothing to take away from her beauty. That little red dress doesn’t hide her legs and the curvy backside there. The one I’m itching to get my hands on. She looks beautiful. She always looks so fucking beautiful.
She places our plates before us, a smile on her face as she stares down at Luna. “A special cheeseburger for my special Luna Bella.”
“Thank you, Mommy.”
Selene then slides my plate in front of me, avoiding my gaze. She’s been doing it a lot lately. Hell, she’s always been shy. But it’s like now, she purposely tries not to look at me and I hate it. I just want her to look me in the fucking eyes once so she can see everything I’m unable to say out loud in front of our daughter.
“Guess what Daddy bought me today?” Luna singsongs between bites of her food.
“What did he get you?”
“He bought me the Barbie Dream House I’ve been wanting, and he bought me more dolls to go with it.” Luna is practically vibrating with excitement on her side of the booth as she tells her mom.
If it weren’t for the amusement glinting in her hazel eyes and the smirk twisting her lips, I’d think she’s mad at me.
“You spoil her.”
She doesn’t say it like it’s a bad thing, just merely stating a fact. I can’t hold back the grin that takes over my face. I shrug my shoulders. “She makes it hard to say no.”
Selene laughs, and fuck me, the sound hits me square in the chest. She’s so goddamn beautiful when she smiles, which is obvious because no man in this joint can keep his eyes off her. We share a moment, her standing there, staring down at me with the best smile I’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing, and me, looking up at her like she’s every fucking star lighting up the darkest sky.
There’s a sharp whistle followed by, “Hey, sweet cheeks. Can we get some service over here?”
Selene’s smile falters, and her shoulders stiffen. Color settles in her cheeks. I glance around her, and my eyes narrow when I realize whose table the shout came from. Seeming embarrassed by the attention or being called out, she tucks a few hairs behind her ears and drops down to press a kiss to Luna’s head.
“I should really get back to work,” she whispers.
The entire time I watch her go, glaring at the table of rowdy men. The biggest asshole of all is sitting there, looking sleazy as shit, arms slung along the backs of the booth with his eyes glued to my fucking woman. I can’t hear what he’s saying to her from here, but whatever it is, it has Selene’s perpetual pink cheeks turning a bright shade of red, and she shifts on her feet, obviously uncomfortable. The men around the booth laugh hysterically, and I grip the edges of the table.
“They laugh a lot,” Luna observes, her gaze glued to their table, just like mine is.
“Yeah, they do.” My voice is all gravel and displeasure.
“It happens all the time around Mommy.”
“What does?”
“That.” She points toward them. “Nana says the boys love Mommy because they can’t have her.” She shrugs. “Whatever that means.”
Hearing that come out of my daughter’s mouth only drives me closer to the edge. I want to stake my claim on Selene right here, right now. I want to march over there, pull her into my arms, and kiss her. Let all those bastards know that she’s mine. She carried my fucking child. No one else’s. It’s only been me, and fucking hell, I plan on keeping it that way.
Rita stops by our table. “We still doing okay over here?”
I’m nodding when I glance behind her and see fucking red. That slimy bastard is toying with the hem of Selene’s dress while she tries to push him away, looking around for help. A growl rips from my chest, a wave of possessive anger I’ve not felt before firing through my veins. I shoot out of the booth, stalking across the diner, consequences be damned. Thomas sees me coming, and the fucker has the gall to smirk at me. Egging me on.
“Well, look who it is, the baby daddy.”
Selene whirls around, her eyes going wide when she sees me. My anger reaches new heights when I realize her face isn’t red with embarrassment anymore. No, instead, her face is drained of all color. She’s afraid. They’ve fucking scared her.
“C’mon, Black, share the love. You’ve already fucked her—”
My hand shoots out, and I slam him against the booth. I curl my fist into his shirt, getting into his face. “Come near her again, and you’re done. Understand me?”
“Well, I’ll be. Never thought I’d see the day End Black cared about anyone other than himself.” He’s pushing my fucking buttons, and it’s working. “Tell me one thing, man. Does she taste as good as she looks?” I raise my fist back, ready to clock him, but sweet honey and bergamot infiltrate my senses, and when soft warmth closes around my bicep, I pause and turn.
Selene is trying to hold me back, her eyes pleading with me to stop. She pointedly looks toward our table, and I spot my little girl, mostly being blocked by Rita, but still watching with curiosity.
Slowly, I release Thomas, tamping down the anger that’s nearly bubbling over the surface. “Get the fuck out. Don’t ever come near Selene again. I mean it.”
A burly voice pipes in beh
ind me, and when I crane my neck to look, surprise raises my brows. Bobby, Rita’s husband, is the cook here. He’s a tall, burly man who has a no-nonsense aura about him. He’s definitely someone you do not want to fuck with. “All of you, out.”
The guys at the table share a look before they shove away, spilling their drinks and making a mess for no other reason than to be dicks to Selene and the rest of Rita’s staff. Once they’re gone, the tightness in my chest ebbs away, but my anger is still there, flowing like the force of the falls. I open and close my fists at my sides, dying to plow my knuckles into the son of a bitch’s face.
“End, can I talk to you for a second?”
There’s an edge to Selene’s tone that I know can’t be good. I nod rigidly, and she glances over her shoulder at Bobby. “Can you ask Rita to stay with Luna for a sec?”
“Of course.” He shoots me a sympathetic look, likely knowing where this is going.
Fucking hell.
As soon as we’re out back, Selene lays into me. Jabbing her strong little finger into my chest, she has anger written all over gorgeous fucking face.
“What the hell was that back there? Are you insane?”
“Probably.” I shrug, slipping my hands into my pockets.
Selene begins to pace, rubbing at the back of her neck in frustration. Every time she walks, that little damn dress rides up her thighs, fueling the little embers left from my anger.
Rita couldn’t choose an uglier goddamn uniform? Christ.
“You can’t do that,” she suddenly blurts, stopping a few feet away from me. “You can’t go around fighting people trying to…trying to defend my honor, or whatever that was. You’ll scare her!”
Guilt bears down on my shoulders. Heaving a deep sigh filled with remorse, I rake a hand through my hair and nod. She’s right. I’m a father now. I can’t just start fights whenever something upsets me. Luna will see everything, and that’s the very last thing I want.
But was I supposed to let him grope her in public? It was obvious no one else noticed, and she wasn’t going to get any help elsewhere. I had to step in.
