by S. M. Soto
The sound of our slapping flesh fills the room, followed by our grunts and groans of pleasure. It’s so loud and incredibly erotic. End shifts, changing the angle of his thrusts, bending over me. I can feel his chest and stomach, all corded and tight, rub against my damp breasts. His stubbled jaw grazes my cheeks as he bends down, fucking into me. Making love to me.
The way his hips grind as he delivers short, deep jabs that I feel in the center of my being drive me wild. I can feel the stirrings of my orgasm build. That warmth swirls in my core, and when he hits that deep spot, everything inside me unravels, and I come around him. Deep contractions squeeze my core, and I gush. I feel my juices slipping out of me, sliding down the trembling curve of my backside.
Endymion doesn’t stop, though. His thumb works circles over my clit while he stares down at me with a fire in his eyes that sets my soul alight. Sweat beads on his forehead, and his strong jaw is clenched. He kisses me, taking my mouth sweetly as his hips work savagely. He keeps working my body, pounding into me, his chest heaving wildly over me.
When he breaks the kiss, I open my eyes and look into his intense gaze. It is equal parts love and desperation. It’s the way I’d always dreamed someone would look at me—not just someone, but this man. I wanted to be looked at like I was someone’s entire world and then some. I wanted to worshipped, loved on a level that was incomprehensible. That’s the way Endymion stares down at me.
“Christ, if only you can see how beautiful you are like this, Selene.”
“I love you.”
My words are his undoing. He grits his jaw, his eyes clenching shut, and he groans, spilling inside me. His hips jerk and twist in a final thrust as I wring him of every last drop. The kiss he presses to my lips is a sealed fate of sorts. It’s loaded with promises and tells the story of his love without words.
It sets my heart ablaze for this beautiful man.
One Month Later
At my father’s funeral, End holds my hand the entire time, his grip tight and secure. He’s the backbone Luna and I have needed over the past few days. Hell, the past month has been hard on everyone. Especially my mom. I’ve tried to be there as much as possible, but it’d been hard watching my father lie in that bed, watching the life slowly drain out of him.
I grip onto Endymion’s hand for strength as a sob sputters past my lips, thinking about the last moments I had with my father.
“I’m not ready to say goodbye yet, Daddy,” I choke out through my tears. There’s a wildfire in my chest. It’s reckless and incredibly devastating as it sets my other organs aflame. My dad softly pats his frail, skinny hand over mine, trying to comfort me. He’s so weak. It’s breaking my heart to see him like this.
I need more time with him.
It’s all I’ve been asking for, just a little more time.
I hate that I let so many years go by when I didn’t hug him every day. When I didn’t talk to him every day. It’s all hitting me now that I took it all for granted. I won’t be able to do any of it anymore. I won’t hear his warm, throaty laughter. I won’t get to listen to his long-drawn-out explanations. I won’t get to see his smile that reminds me so much of my own when I look in the mirror.
“So many beautiful things await me, Selene. Just like they do for you. I may not be here to hold your hand through it anymore, but I love you, and I am so damn proud.” A tear leaks out of his eye, rolling down his pale cheek, and I crumble. I crawl into bed beside my father, and I rest my head on his bony chest, listening to his heartbeat. Sobs wrack my body, and he rubs my back, telling me in hushed tones everything will be okay. That it’s going to be fine. But it won’t. Because the first man I’ve ever truly loved is dying. He’s leaving me.
My father passed away the next evening while we were all there. The last week has been trying. And if it wasn’t for Endymion, I’m not too proud to say I would’ve already crumbled. I would’ve fallen into a mess of culpability.
Luna is heartbroken, just as I knew she would be, but she’s still young, not yet able to grasp that her papa won’t be coming back because he’s in heaven now. She doesn’t understand why he had to go. Last night we found her curled up with one of my dad’s shirts. It was tucked around one of her stuffed animals like a blanket, and I fell apart. It’s soul-crushing, realizing he won’t be here to watch her grow up.
Endymion has been the glue holding us together, and I thank God. I thank my father, the cosmos, and my lucky stars that I have him, that I was somehow able to find him again.
“I love you,” I whisper, squeezing End’s hand in mine. I don’t know if I’ve said it enough over the past few days, but if I haven’t, I need him to know. He gently tucks his fingers beneath my chin, lifting my gaze up to meet his. He wipes away my hot tears, his finger tracing the planes of my face as he does it.
“I love you, too. I always have.”
I smile through the tears. End was always my sun. I was chasing him. I spent most of my childhood chasing, wishing on every star with his name in mind. I’ve always loved this man. But what has made me love him even more? The way he loves our daughter. Luna is our brightest star, the only one that matters to us. I thank my lucky stars every single day that End decided to chase me—to chase the moon.
After the funeral, we head back to the house, the house that feels empty without any trace of my father. His warm laugh. The sound of his news playing softly in the background. Endymion’s mom offered to help with the food here for everyone after the service. I think everyone knew my mother and me wouldn’t be up to it after today. Upon walking into the house, I hear a broken noise leave my mother, and when I glance at her, my eyes still puffy from the funeral, I see tears streaking down her face. I follow the trajectory of her gaze and my chin trembles with emotion.
The table, where my father’s coffee mug would usually rest beside the coaster, is now empty. My mom drops to her knees, and I catch her just in time as a sob rips from her chest. I fall to the floor with her, grabbing at her, trying to squeeze and comfort her while wading through my own pain. The new reality that my father and her estranged husband is gone.
“We spent so many years fighting. So much wasted time.”
I tuck her head beneath my chin, tightening my grip. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”
I repeat the phrase over and over again until I actually believe it.
That night, I head out to the creek, needing a moment to myself to gather my thoughts. Gripped tightly in my hand is the letter and the small box Endymion gave me. It has my name written on the front in my father’s handwriting. I’ve been sitting here, running the pads of my fingers over the letters, tracing each of them. There’s this inexplicable tightness in my chest. I want to read the words inside, but then again, I don’t. I’m afraid I won’t be able to handle them.
Sucking in a lungful of air, I close my eyes and tear through the envelope, pulling out the folded sheet of paper inside. With trembling hands, I open the letter, and a sob catches in my throat when I read the first words.
Darling Selene,
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I won’t be here for as long as I’d like. As fathers, we look forward to the day our daughters grow up and marry, just the same way we despise it. I hate that I won’t see how beautiful you’ll look on your wedding day. I hate that I won’t be there to hold my next grandchild. I hate that I won’t get to watch our little Luna grow up into a beautiful young woman, just like her mother.
A lot of life is simply about luck, and I was lucky enough to have it in spades when your mother agreed to marry me. I held on to that luck over the years, because it gave me a beautiful daughter who became the light of my life, then it gave me a granddaughter who owned half of my heart, alongside her mother. That luck of mine has run out. I wish I had the words to make you feel better. I wish so many things were different, but they are not.
I often dreamed about your wedding day and imagined filling up with tears as I walked you down the aisle. The only comfort is knowing the m
an I’m positive you’ll end up with is a good man. If there was ever anyone I’d agree to give my daughter away to, it’s Endymion. I know it’s easy to hold on to the hurt of the past, but I can say with utmost uncertainty that I’ve never seen a man look at a woman the way he looks at you. Like you and Luna are his whole entire world. That’s what every father wants for his daughter, someone worthy of her love.
Remember to laugh while I’m gone, and don’t forget to smile through the pain. The way you light up a room, Selene, is one of the most beautiful things about you. You never laugh at 50%; you always laugh at 100%. It takes over your whole body and is highly infectious. I hope you never lose that. And I hope Luna won’t either.
When Luna is old enough to understand, I hope she’ll know how much I loved her and how much I cherished each moment we spent together. Remind her to be strong in the face of every challenge. Never let anyone put her down or crush her spirit because she is the beauty we find in life. She is the happiness you and End get to keep for yourselves. Tell her to keep speaking her mind, to keep believing she’s capable of anything. There is nothing in this world she can’t do.
Despite the many mistakes in my life, I need you to know you’re the single best thing I’ve had in my life, Selene. I know growing up in the house with your mother and me wasn’t always easy, and that’s something I’ll have to face every single day. It was never you, Selene. Nothing was ever your fault. It was ours. Having you as my daughter has been the greatest accomplishment of my life. Thank you for teaching me about love and happiness more than any other person.
You are the moon, Selene. You’re the bright light in the darkness. You’re the beauty in the night, and don’t you ever forget it.
Enjoy life. Live it fully and happily with no regrets.
And never forget, I’ll always be here. In the midst of the waterfalls, the ripples in the creek, the chill of the cool breeze, in the stars scattered across the sky—I’m always here.
I love you forever, sweet girl.
Dad xx
After the tears have soaked my face and neck, I fold the letter and hold it against my chest. My heart feels heavy, each beat a slow-drawn-out metronome. There is a perpetual quiver in my chin, a continuous twinge in my heart that I don’t think will ever go away now that my father is gone.
With quaking hands, I open the small box next. A broken sob tears from my chest once I see what’s inside. Just like the one he bought me when I was a child rests another moon necklace, only this time, the back is inscribed.
I’ll meet you at the moon,
Daddy
I clutch the necklace to my chest and I cry.
The sobs are gut wrenching, wracking through my body in powerful waves.
I glance up at the moon with a heavy weight on my chest and tears glimmering in my eyes. It doesn’t matter how many times I blink or wipe them away; they’re always there.
The stars seem brighter tonight against the dark canvas of the sky, and it’s like my father demanded they shine a little brighter for all of us tonight, almost as if he knew I would be out here, reading his letter, thinking of him. I tighten my sweater around my shoulders, warding off the cold chill that’s traveling through my body. A stitch of pain burns through my chest at the thought of him and the breeze. The air is brisk tonight. It chafes against my cheeks, and it settles into my bones. If I close my eyes and think about it hard enough, I swear I can almost feel him—my father. He’s in the air. In the sounds of nature.
Lying back, I soak in the feeling. I bathe in the moon’s glow, ignoring the tears sliding down my temples and into my hair. I don’t startle when I hear footsteps wading through the thick grass. When I glance to the side, a small grin lights my face when I spot End. He looks handsome, so incredibly handsome. He’s still dressed in his slacks and button-down shirt from earlier. His light brown hair is in disarray at the top of his head, and I find myself wanting to run my fingers through it. There’s a blanket tucked under his arm, and it sends my heart into a tailspin. This man…he is almost too perfect.
He drops down next to me, laying the blanket over my body, his forearms resting on his knees, his gaze glued to mine.
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” I whisper. “I think I am. Where’s Luna?”
“She’s with your mom. I think she needed the distraction. My mom is there, too, in case Cece doesn’t want to be alone.”
Tightness cramps my chest. “I’m worried about her.”
He sighs. “She’s strong. It might take some time, but your mother is strong, Selene. She’s just like you.”
I smile sadly, cupping his cheek in my hand. I relish in the feel of his stubble beneath the pads of my fingers. Even though I’m not yet ready to discuss the letter, I am ready to discuss something else. Laying us both back, he pulls me into his arms as we stare up at the night sky.
“I’ve made a decision.”
“Let’s hear it.”
This is what I love most about him, his willingness to listen to whatever it is that I’m going to say. It doesn’t matter when or where we are, he’s always there as my sounding board, my protector, and my lover.
I suck in a sharp breath, not sure how he’ll react. “I want to open the apothecary. Here. Who knows, it might fail. It might not, but I want to try. I want to try for my dad. When I was younger, I always talked about setting intentions and following my dreams. It was the faith I lived by, but after losing everything, I wanted to give up. I don’t know when I gave up on my dreams. I don’t know when I stopped reaching for the stars, End, but I want to try again. I don’t want to be afraid of failure. I want to live with no regrets.”
End squeezes my hand. “It won’t fail. I promise you. And your faith, your willingness to reach for the stars never truly left you, Selene. It just got buried for a little while there. But you’ve found it again, and that’s all that matters.” A hot tear trickles down my cheek. “Your faith in the cosmos, in following your dreams? It helped me follow mine.”
My brows crease together in a frown. “It did?”
End nods. “You once told me that I could do anything I wanted. You told me to reach for the stars. And I did. I started the company with the guys, and since then, I’ve never looked back, not even once.”
My heart pounds in my chest at his admission. “How do you remember that?”
End leans in, cupping my face with a gentleness that is so at odds with everything else about him. “Isn’t it obvious by now, Selene? I remember every conversation we’ve ever shared. I tried to pretend I never noticed you back then because it felt wrong. You were this beautiful, sweet girl, and I was me. You were always too good for me, even now. I remember everything; not even one drunken night was able to erase my memory. We belong to the cosmos, babe. Me and you? We were always meant to be.”
There’s a riot of emotion inside me. It’s spreading through my chest like dry ice. “I didn’t think it was possible to love you any more than I already do.”
His mouth inches up into a warm smile that stokes the fire in my chest. “I find that I love you more and more every day, babe.”
I press my lips against his, relishing in the current that rolls through my body at the contact. I love this man with every fiber of my being.
Pulling me into his side, we lie on the grass, covered in the blanket, and stare at the moon, glimmering against the sea of stars. “I used to sit out here so many nights when I was sad or when I felt alone. Now that I’m sitting out here, I feel a little bit closer to him, a little bit closer to my dreams, and I can’t explain why.”
“Because he’s with you everywhere. Always.”
We lie in silence for a long beat. I relish in the feel of his warm body beneath mine. The staccato of his strong heartbeat is a song I never knew I needed to help soothe me. His hand glides up and down my back in rhythmic motions.
“Did I ever tell you what made me fall in love with the moon?” I feel him shaking his head. “My dad. He was the one who intr
oduced me to Greek mythology. That thick book I carried around when I was younger? It was from my dad. I became obsessed, fixated on the goddess who shared the same name as me. I think deep down, he knew how hard it was for me to listen to their constant fighting, so he tried to give me something his words wouldn’t heal. He tried to give me fairy tales—stories of love that have spanned centuries.
“I think I fell in love with her because, as the goddess of the moon, she personified life’s constant changes. In the myths, as the Titan goddess, she would drive her chariot with the moon across the sky at night. She was considered this all-seeing eye of the night because the moon would always be visible in the black sky, and no one could run from it. That light? For a long time, it felt like that was all I had to look forward to. Until you rolled into town. By then, I was already obsessed with the moon. I had read every piece of information on Selene and every legend regarding her. And when I heard your name for the first time…” I pause, emotion clogging my throat. “I felt like it was meant to be. I was Selene, and you were Endymion, the shepherd mortal whose love was always destined to fail.”
His chest vibrates beneath my ear. “And what about now?”
“Now…now I don’t feel like I’m living out that tale of mythology anymore. We’re writing our own story. Our own legend with frayed pages, missing chapters, and everything else between, and you know what? I wouldn’t change it for the world because I love you, Endymion Black. Just as the sun loves the moon, and the stars love the night.”
My stomach cramps uncomfortably as I stand outside the building. I haven’t been back here since that night. As I glance around, flashes of memories slam into me, and I flinch as I think about them. I thought it would be worse to stand here, remembering what happened with Thomas, but the tight restricting sensation gripping my throat slowly leaves when I feel Endymion wrap his arm around my middle, tucking my back into his front. We stand a few feet back from the building, staring at the space. The lease sign is still posted there in the window.
