by Belleza
“It’s too late to make that decision now. I warned you so many times about crossing me, and you still did with a fucking woman that’s damn near my aunt.”
“You don’t like her!”
“So that gave you permission to fuck her!” I shouted, and she jumped.
Her eyes went to the steps and then back at me.
“Stop! I don’t want the boys to know. How you think they gonna feel when they find out you’re divorcing their mother?”
“I don’t know. That’s for you to find out.”
“Did you tell them?”
I shook my head. “You caused this, so you figure the shit out. At this point, I don’t give a fuck what you do. There’s an account set up with the money that was written into the paperwork. We can discuss the boys and how we are going to raise them but I’m not doing shit in the courts, and at this age, they are old enough to decide what they want to do.”
Tabitha sat with tears streaming down her face. I don’t know if she was truly sad she was losing her family or upset that she could no longer have her cake and eat it too, but in my eyes, you were either with me or against me. There was no more us, and I couldn’t bend on that. I hated to even look at her because I was disgusted. I wanted to wrap my arms around her neck and feel her life slip away for her betrayal but knowing I had so much to lose and young men to raise I just couldn’t do that shit.
I wasn’t the best man all my life, but one thing my boys would be able to say when they got older was that their father loved their mother. I only tried to be the best because I wanted to break the cycle where young black men felt like they had to disrespect our queens to feel inferior. Funny all the changing I did for not only them but for her to get this. Trust me it was unbelievable, and I was shocked I didn’t kill her and Ernestine by now.
“I can’t tell the boys. They will hate me.”
“You knew that, but you were selfish. Now you gotta deal with the consequences. Sign the papers and get out. Next time you show up at my house I won’t be as nice,” I placed her truck keys on the coffee table only because she needed reliable transportation if she wanted to be a mother. “Let me know when you want them, and you can either get time from school, pick them up from here, or I will drop them off to you. I don’t care who you have them around but just know my sons are my life. Anything happens to them you will pay with yours, you hear me?”
Tabitha continued to sob and wiped her eyes only able to agree. I was being fair when I didn’t have to do any of this. I only did it because I knew she had nothing and somewhat devoted her life to me. The least so can do was let her keep her shit and give her some money. After today I had nothing else for her.
ERNESTINE “Easy”
I was halfway to my condo in the city before my phone was going off and I exhaled an exasperated breath as I saw it was Karla on my line. I’ve declined her phone call three times already since I left the loft we shared in Prospect Park. I literally left only twenty minutes ago, and she was blowing me up. Instead of sending her ass to voicemail I decided to answer because she wasn’t getting the picture that I ain't feel like talking.
One thing about Karla was that she was persistent. We had so many ups and downs in the span of time we dealt with each other she kind of just stuck. In a sense, she was a ride or die. If I needed her to line some niggas up, she did with no questions asked, even if she had to suck and fuck a little dick she made it happen which is why she now had the 5k ring she rocked on her left finger.
No, we weren’t legally married, but in a sense, that paper couldn’t make us thicker. I was locked up when same-sex marriage was legalized in the country, and I promised her if she rocked out with me I was going to make her officially mine. At one time making her my wife sounded good but now she was riding my ass, and I was having second thoughts on even following through with it. She was a wife, not a mother and even that woman couldn’t tell me much of anything.
“What do you want yo!” I belted out after sliding the green icon over.
“Are you going to see her?”
I sighed and rubbed my head to alleviate the ache that was slowly throbbing. She thought Tabitha was a threat and I had to keep reminding her that this is what we did. Fucking with another person was just a means to an end. I, of course, had my share of fun but what was hard work without the extra payoff while you did it?
One thing with me is that I enjoyed variety. Some say it was a negative male trait I adapted and they may have been correct. I loved pussy and turned plenty straight bitches gay off my charm alone. I wasn’t too much of a nigga because I was able to give females everything their man couldn’t give them sexually, physically, mentally and emotionally.
“No, I’m not,” I lied. “I told you what the fuck I was going to do? Can I have some fucking peace? I wasn’t home for a month and yore badgering me.”
“I know you’re still fucking her! You told me you was going to stop and just follow through with the plan.”
“And you think me fucking her isn’t part of the plan? I gotta play the role and keep her locked down. Ain’t that much fucking talking in the world gonna allow me to keep the grasp on her that I have. Listen Karla, no one ain’t taking your damn spot. Stay patient…”
“I’ve been patient,” she cut me off. “Do you know how many times I’ve seen her at your visits? I got turned around so many times because you had your visit for the day. You have no regard for me and yet you don’t understand why I’m ready for you to get rid of her.”
“So just because I was locked up you thought I was supposed to stop what I had planned?”
“What could she do for you while you were in jail? I was the one putting real money on your books. I kept in touch with Nyzie for you. What that bitch do!” she yelled.
I wasn’t in the mood to argue. I hung up the phone and placed it back in my cup holder.
“I need some new bitches,” I grumbled maneuvering my Challenger on the expressway.
I turned my radio up and allowed the music to clear my head. I got to my condo I recently rented out where Tabitha was staying. I parked my car in the designated spot and made my way up.
Opening up my front door, I pocketed my key and locked the door behind me. I eyed all the boxes that were strewn all over.
“Tab!” I called out wondering what the fuck this bullshit was because I have furniture getting delivered today. They weren’t going to move shit in with the amount of clutter she had. “Tab!”
I stormed further into the condo and went to the bedroom where I saw she was passed out on the bed with a bottle of Honey Jack next to her. Shaking my head, I snatched the bottle from her hand and shook her awake.
“What time is it?” she mumbled lifting her head, and I was disgusted with the way she looked. Her makeup was caked all over her face, and mascara was running down as if she was crying all night. Her swollen red eyes were also proof that she was crying.
“Time for you to get the fuck up and do something with them damn boxes. I have furniture coming, and you need to get rid of them.”
“But those are my clothes. Johan kicked me out. I went to go see the boys and to talk to him about the divorce papers.”
“He served you?”
“Someone did while I was in New York.”
“When were you going to tell me this shit?”
Like a little ass kid in trouble, all she did was slowly lift her shoulders looking pitiful. Tabitha didn’t listen. What I instructed her to do was get back in his good graces for the time being so I could execute my plan, and she couldn’t even do that right.
I honestly thought he had a little forgiveness in him since he did marry the girl, but I guess Ern fine-tuned them boys to be just like him.
Now I was stuck with a problem. I ain’t really want Tabitha. She was fun to fuck when I needed some new pussy, and she was close to my targets, so it was a win-win at the time, now look at me stuck with a cry baby burden.
“He’s just upset. Give the man some t
ime to calm down and don’t mention me. Play your role as a wife and mother, and I’m sure he will take you back.”
“I don’t think so,” she mumbled dropping her head to her chest moving it from side to side. “He didn’t even want to look at me.”
“Well if your stupid ass listened, we wouldn’t be in this predicament.” I gripped her chin up in my hands so she could look at me and grimaced at the tears streaming down her face. “Do exactly what I tell you to do next time. He’ll forgive you eventually.”
She continued to sob and wipe at her eyes smearing the mascara around some more. She loved that man. I could tell even with her falling for me, Johan still had her heart. What we had could’ve been lust and excitement for something new which was cool. No matter how this played out Tabitha was unloyal so there was no way I could even entertain the fact of taking her seriously. It was a shame she lost so much just so I could gain plenty, but it was a part of the game. You win some, and you lose some. The only thing I wanted to do was win, and I ain’t care who toes I stepped on to get where I needed to be. Easy was back!
***
“Ernestine. What a pleasant surprise.”
I curled my lip up at my brother as I stood in front of his door.
“You can stop with the name calling. Easy will be just fine.”
He held his hands up with a smug grin on his face. “Fine with me. Easy, what brings you to my house unannounced?”
“Aren’t we siblings? I’ve been locked up for years, and you’re not happy to see me,” I mocked him. He did say the surprise was pleasant right?
“I did. Come on in.”
Ern stepped to the side, and I eased my way into his home lightly tapping my waist to remind myself I had my gun on me. Brother or not I didn’t trust him. It could’ve been my own guilt, but I simply wanted what was rightfully mine.
I gazed around his immaculate house and couldn’t be nothing less than impressed. Even with being in the hood his home looked like a castle. I couldn’t fathom why he didn’t want to move and enjoy the fruits of his labor. I worked by Ernest side, and he was a millionaire. There was no need to reside around people that worked for him. I’m shocked he lived so comfortably for years like this. No one ever tried to rob him.
That was why his ego was so big. Ern thought he was untouchable.
I made my way to the living room and made myself comfortable on the couch.
“So what’s up?” he asked walking over to the bar and fixing himself a drink.
“Nothing much. Ready to get back on this grind. How’s business?” I asked already knowing he gave it all up to them damn boys.
“Great.”
“So you’re out for good right?”
Ern lifted the glass and chuckled a little before taking a sip.
“Cut the small talk, Ernestine. Why are you here?”
“I’m ready to take over what’s mine,” I stated matter of factly.
“Really? What belonged to you?”
“Don’t fucking play with me Ernest. You know I was with you all them years making your moves with you.”
“And you were a fuck up! You were a liability to my business which is why I put you and your little homie on the back burner.”
“That’s how you feel?”
“How many times were you pulled over by the police? Your record is extensive, and yet my hit men have squeaky clean backgrounds. You’re sloppy Ernestine. Making you next up was never on my agenda. You’re free to get money and run a location, but as far as the connect is involved, you will not be a part of that. That’s taken care of.”
“So three fucking bastards are good enough to run something I put blood sweat and tears into?”
“You’re feeling yourself. Them years behind bars made you delusional. While I worked tooth and nail you partied and popped bottles. That’s not what this shit is about. You either take what’s given to you or figure something out in another city.”
We both held intense stares each other way. So much for me thinking that I was going to go the nice way about this.
They said blood was thicker than water but right now I saw it really wasn’t. All my life growing up, Ernest was always the child that was bragged about while I was overlooked. Yeah, I was bad as fuck, skipped school and did hella drugs and partied but it didn’t change the fact that I rightfully deserved the position to run Philly.
“So if not me, then who?” I gritted.
“First it was all three of the boys. Now it’s just Zayne and Asahd.”
I laughed incredulously. “So I’m about to answer to a bunch of kids.”
“They’re grown. I taught them well. I thought I did the same with you.”
I shot up from my seat and pointed my finger his way. I was HOT, yet Ernest was calm still aimlessly drinking his liquor.
“That’s your fucking problem! You think you’re above me nigga. We were born together. I deserve this shit,” I spat hitting my chest, and he laughed.
“You sound like the kid right now.”
“Man fuck you!”
“Are we done here?” he asked sarcastically, and I went to storm out of his house but stopped in my tracks. I turned around and looked him straight in the eye.
“I ain’t finished with you yet, believe that.”
MILL
“I can’t believe you’re pregnant.”
“Bitch, I took five test just to make sure.”
I lifted a questioning brow at Keira, and she busts out laughing because I believed her crazy ass.
“Listen, I had to make sure.”
“Make sure of what? There was a baby in the ultrasound.”
“A glob.”
I rolled my eyes to the top of my head. “I can’t deal with you. Your pregnant and need to get used to it anyway. Don’t have Zayne on your ass.”
“Why you think I’m here weighing liquor bottles? He shut that bottle girl job down already.”
“As he should. No one wants no liquor from a chick with a swollen belly.”
“Don’t do me because I’m five seconds pregnant.”
I waved her off not feeding into her crap. I knew deep down she was happy because I peeped her talking that baby talk way before it was confirmed.
“So have you spoken to your parents?” Keira asked. It’s been over a week, and I didn’t hear from them really outside of the text messages from my mother but even that only consisted of one-word answers. I was hurt by their actions because they were judging Asahd without knowing who he really was. What was crazy was that they obviously were getting high and allowed it to take over their life.
They were totally going against everything they instilled in me. They wanted me to be strong-minded, never to bite my tongue and to do what I loved. Regardless of what Asahd did for a living, there was no doubt he had my heart. Even after the whole ordeal me and him didn’t address the issue. We were around each other, but it was awkward. I really felt like I needed to apologize on their behalf.
“My father hasn’t said anything to me, and my mom is one wording me.”
“They might be embarrassed. They were pretty much perfect in both of our eyes.”
“Do you think they’ve been smoking it?” I asked not really wanting to think of my parents on drugs, but it was now my reality.
“Maybe.”
I shook my head because I didn’t see any signs of them getting high as long as I’ve been living.
“It’s crazy because when you think of a crackhead, someone dirty and skinny comes to mind. As far as I know, they don’t fit that description besides the bills being unpaid and my mother being so jumpy.” I sighed and shook my head thinking about how she was either sleepy or hype.
“Well, nowadays there’s no real description for anything. The men and women you see dressed in suits and ties working in the city might be the biggest coke heads we’ve come across.”
I heard exactly what Keira was saying, but I was too lost in my own thoughts to respond. My parents were my life. I
couldn’t imagine losing them, and sadly it seemed as I would only because of who I chose to be with.
As much as Keira tried to act like she didn’t want to discuss it, we talked more about my God baby which brightened up the sour mood from discussing my parents. With the two of us doing my load of work we were done faster.
Once we turned in the paperwork and laptop, we were on our way out the door, and Keira was already talking about going to get food.
Leaving out the building I noticed Nina heading toward the building and she curled her lip up as soon as she saw me.
The girl still hasn’t gotten over the fact that I was with the man that didn’t want to be with her. I couldn’t fathom why chicks got jealous over dudes they were just fucking.
“Camille!” she called out, and I stopped in my tracks to focus my attention on her. She wasn’t in clothes like she was ready to fight but if it came down to it, I was ready for her ass. Nobody was going to keep approaching me like I was bitch made. There was a difference between knowing you had too much to lose and diffusing situations and being a punk-ass.
“Can I talk to you?”
“About?”
“Asahd.”
“There’s nothing y’all have to talk about when it comes to him,” Keira jumped to my defense, and I shot her a look hoping she remembered she was pregnant. Even if it was a few weeks, I didn’t want my friend out here throwing hands.
Nina rolled her eyes at Keira but stayed more than an arms distance away.
“I’m not here to start trouble.”
“I’m not conversing with you about Asahd. I didn’t care to talk to you the first time, so what makes you think I want to now?”
“Trust me, you will want to know this information.”
I crinkled my eyebrows at her response.
“What information?”
“Well, technically it isn’t any of your business, but Asahd left me no choice since he wants to ignore my calls.” She dug into her bag and pulled out a pregnancy test that was in a Ziploc bag. “We will be parents soon, so let him know that regardless of who he’s with he needs to be a man and communicate with me.”
