Was he talking about my body? My shell? If he came on the authority of Ariana, he had to be talking about my true form. I could tell he was by the way he nodded at me, a knowing gleam in his eyes. That sobered me up. My shell was the one thing that would ensure I stayed on the throne. The way the bug grinned at me, he knew I’d have to listen to what he said now. It irked me to no end that everyone knew how badly I wanted my real body back. That made me vulnerable. Part of it was vanity, but dang it to hey, the other part was I was sick of jumping into bodies. It was gross. As soon as I donned the human form, it felt like it was constantly slithering over my bones, never quite settling into place, and I was never truly powerful. Not that I could admit that to anyone.
“So you were sent to help me retrieve my shell?”
“In a roundabout way, yes. So would you like your true form back?”
Duh. I went to the long mirror hanging between two tall bookcases, and studied the body I currently inhabited. Honestly, I’d done worse but still. Ugh. I picked up the short, reddish-orange hair that felt like straw. If only someone would’ve told poor Becky she was over-processing the strands. I was currently rail-thin and almost six feet tall. I literally looked like the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz. The only way I could get bodies now days was due to the high rise in opioids. At least Becky overdosed on molly and not meth like Harold, the last body I’d possessed. That man had no teeth. Like none. I couldn’t enjoy a good juicy steak for days. A long time ago, I had decided to only jump into bodies if the human was about to die. If a demon jumps into a body and doesn’t evacuate within three days, the human dies. So in my mind, if I jump into an expiring human, then there’s no harm. My weakness didn’t allow for me to be a murderer of humans.
I gave one more look at the human form I was currently wearing, albeit not very well. I really did want my body back. After all that was my goal.
As if hearing my internal thoughts, Tally said, “Think about it. You would never have to jump into another fragile human body again.”
“Okay, bug. You have my attention.”
“Ariana said I would. Eccentric room, by the way.”
I scoffed as I looked around my office. Back when it belonged to my father, everything was dark and tacky along with massive. The desk, bookcases, and furniture were black and gigantic. Nothing was out of place, and everything about the room screamed “I am King.” It was boring as fox. Now, there were Guns N’ Roses, Def Leppard, and Van Halen posters plastered to the walls. I painted the desk blood red and got a matching black velvet couch and cozy chair. I placed the chair in front of the fireplace, so I could be comfortable when talking to all of the guests I never invited back to my chambers. I wasn’t really a people person. Regardless, the fairy said eccentric, I say cool as shirt.
“So,” he said, “this is how it’s going to go. I’m going to help you, and you are going to have to accept my help. Take a moment and decide if you are comfortable with allowing an outsider like myself to advise you with more than just queenly duties, but your life in general.”
I didn’t like the condescending tone he took with me. I could squish him with the heel of my boot and be done with this. Could I even trust someone from the fae realm when I couldn’t even trust the demons I ruled? But Ariana had vowed to me a while back that she would help me with my body. The soothsayer was crazy, but she wouldn’t break a vow.
I paced the length of my office. Upon father’s death, I threw out all his souvenirs and trophies. Then I put what the bookshelves deserved—books. My fingers trailed down the spines. I guessed my collection was a little strange, considering who I was, but the Queen of Demons or not, I loved me some romance novels. There were a couple of classics, from Charles Dickins to Jane Austen, scattered amongst the romance books, just to make people think I had a little bit of class, but the trashy romance was where it was at. That and holiday movies. I was a sucker for the Hallmark channel. Obviously, being sappy was a massive part of why I was having a hard time ruling. No demon wanted a tenderhearted, mushy, sappy queen. I could have weekly stoning or beheading sessions earning their respect, but if I rescued one tiny little kitten, suddenly we had a mutiny on our hands. But if I had my shell back, I would be unstoppable, and the subjects would know that. The whole supernatural community would know that.
Appearing annoyed, as if I was wasting his time, Tally said, “So, what will it be, Queen? Will you allow my presence here, so we might work on some of the issues you are facing when it comes to ruling?”
I looked over my shoulder at the small fairy. The first person to call me by my title in months, and it was a dang fairy.
My mind was made up, but I decided to let him believe I weighed my options. I didn’t want him to know how truly desperate I was. “Let me think.”
I hid my smile, as he released a dramatic sigh. I strolled to the middle of the room where there was a huge oval carpet that covered blood spots that belonged to yours truly. This chamber had also served as a torture chamber for yours truly. Every morning and every night, my dear ol’ dad would beat me. Sometimes Maligno would come to participate. How I hated them both. I could have washed away the blood, but Father, dear, chose not to during his reign, and I decided to go with the family tradition. It reminded me of where I came from and where I would never go back. I would never again be someone’s whipping post. I did, however, decide to cover most of the blood. Talk about literally sweeping your baggage under the rug. Maybe this was why I for real needed a therapist.
A true Demon Queen would not harbor resentment or be bitter at what she’d done to survive; instead, she would be proud she was a survivor and I was proud. I didn’t feel remorse for what never was. I was also secretly thrilled I had been present to watch him die. If anyone deserved death, it was him. So therefore, I didn’t entirely understand why I felt so empty. Was my father a terrible person? Absolutely. Did he deserve to die? He sure as hay did. Was I depressed? Why, yes, I was. Zoloft couldn’t even conquer these emotions right now. I was the unbeloved queen over demons that I didn’t even like, and I wanted my stupid shell back. I was feeling a little unbalanced. Maybe I needed a voice of reason. If Ariana sent this fairy to me, he couldn’t be all bad.
“I agree to let you help me, little man, but if I decide you aren’t to be trusted or no longer worthy of my time, I will crush you like”—I gave him a saucy wink—“a bug. Do we understand each other?” He tilted his head in agreement. “Tell me what exactly we need to work through.”
For the first time, he looked a tad uncertain. “I wasn’t fully briefed. Apparently, if I knew the whole truth, then the mission, which is you, would be compromised.” His face turned ruddy. “I might have a bad reputation as a gossip.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “The soothsayer didn’t say that she didn’t trust me to tell you all the reasons why I needed to be here, but I could tell …” He gazed at the carpet with embarrassment.
“Listen, Fairy, I think me and you will get along just fine. My favorite hobby is people watching at Wal-Mart. So, you have the edges of why you were sent here? Maybe we can piece the puzzle together slowly.”
“Yes, I was told to get you to open up to your feelings.”
“Good luck with that.”
“Queen, if you are in agreement with working with me, I need to talk about the one stipulation I need from you.”
“What’s that?”
“You have to take a vow to not kill your uncle.”
I got up to pace. “No, no way. I’ve had this plan ever since I saw him lead my mother to her death. No. He’s dead, and he’ll die by my hand. I’ve already promised your stupid soothsayer that I’d wait until I had my shell, but that’s all I can do.”
“Then I’m afraid you will never retrieve your shell.”
I grew deathly still. My blood pounded through my veins. Did I want my shell bad enough to forsake my vengeance?
“Did you know that whenever I was bad and my father and uncle were bored with the beatings, they would lock me i
n a time freezing machine. Supposedly, it was for the fun of it, but it was really because it hurt my mom. A demon doesn’t stop maturing until their late teens. I was three years old for one hundred and fifty years. Of course I didn’t know it. I have no memory of it, but when they finally released me, my mother wept for days.” There was a look of shock on Tally’s face. “That is nothing compared to what I have truly endured, and you’re wanting me to give all my vengeance up?”
He nodded. “It does seem unfair to ask of you, but I have been told that without that vow you—”
“I know. Ariana won’t help me get my shell back. Can you tell me why?”
He shook his tiny head. “Sorry, that was the part I wasn’t privy to.”
“I need time to think.”
His green eyes held sympathy. “That’s understandable.” He tapped his pad several times with the end of his pen. “Just make sure you don’t take too much time. I was informed that we needed to hurry.”
I was stressed and needed some space just to think. I knew the clock was ticking. I could almost hear the other under lords planning my demise right now. Surely, Ariana the all-seeing wouldn’t have sent this fairy to me if I was to die tonight? I mean, wouldn’t that have been a waste of time on her part? I glanced over at the fairy, who polished his shoes with his thumb. Plus, there was a council meeting in an hour I had to prepare for. If any of the under lords, especially my uncle, thought I was apprehensive, they would behead me. Without my true form, it wouldn’t be extremely hard to kill me. I took a deep breath. I didn’t need to be raw going into that meeting.
“Tomorrow is soon enough to talk. I’ll let you advise me if it means I’ll get my shell back, but I need to think on the other part of the deal. Now, if you will kindly show yourself out, I will have Markee take you to your quarters, where you should be relatively safe.”
“It’s important that no one know I’m here to help you secure the throne.”
Duh. I gave him a nod as I rang a bell for my new secretary: I fired my father’s old one. The fairy looked like he was about to argue but decided against it. As soon as Markee agreed to show the little man where he could sleep during his stay in the underworld, I fell back onto the couch and wondered how a foxing fairy was going to help me unleash my inner evil. Ariana wouldn’t break a vow. This fairy had to be the answer to my problems, so why did I dread our next meeting?
Chapter Three
I had planned on telling Tally my decision. It was going to be a hard no from me. I didn’t need my shell that badly. I had spent years planning my revenge. I couldn’t just let it go. Not even for my true form. As soon as I entered my study, I knew something was off. A sharp pain had me gasping. I slapped a palm to my neck and felt blood coat my hand. Another pang knocked me to my knees. I looked up to see the fairy flying in front of my face, holding onto a poison dart. He shot me? The weaselly traitor shot me! This body could die. I would only have a few hours to find another body, or I would be forever dead. Was he working for my uncle this whole time? What the frog nog? My eyes rolled back in my head. I was losing consciousness fast. When I woke, I was going to find a new body and then kill that centipede.
I moaned as I cracked my eyes open. My mouth felt so dry, and I had the mother of all headaches. I lay in my office on the rough carpet that totally messed with my Feng Shui. As I moved, coarse orange hair fell over my face. How was I still in the body of the poor soul that resembled a scarecrow in her former life? This human body should have died from the poison.
A throat cleared from one of the only armchairs in my office. “I’m guessing you have questions?”
I sat up glaring at Tally. “I’m going to kill you. But first I’m going to play with you until every bone in your stupid body is broken.”
He grabbed his yellow notebook and made humming noises as he scribbled. What the fox, dude? He should be pissing himself not humming, “Mary Had a Little Lamb.” That was the only thing saving him from me ripping his head from his shoulders. I was in shock.
“Sorry I had to go to such drastic measures to prove a point, but this was my two birds, one stone approach. You see, we need to talk, because we are really on a time crunch, and I also needed to remind you how vulnerable you are in this human body. The darts, by the way, were a sleeping potion, not poison. I didn’t destroy your body. You’re welcome.”
“I’m not thanking you,” I nearly screamed.
“One wouldn’t expect gratitude from you, but you are still welcome, nonetheless. Now, let’s focus on healing you from the inside, so you can focus on the outside. Your shell. The first thing you have to do is take that vow not to kill your uncle.” I pushed back the rat’s nest from my face but didn’t say anything. “Carmen, if they attack you in this weakened state, a human shell, you’re dead anyway. What do you have to lose by taking the vow?”
“Everything. My revenge.” He started to say something, but I held up a hand. “Look, I don’t need someone to diagnose me.”
“No, you don’t.” His green eyes bored into mine. “You know what else you don’t need? A bunch of enablers. Right now, you have two types of demons surrounding you. Ones that are terrified of you and will do whatever you say, not out of loyalty but out of fear, and the other type is trying to undermine you as we speak. Get over yourself, take the vow, and rule like you were intended.”
I broke eye contact. He was right. My uncle was one of those demons planning my doom right now. I lay back down on the rug and threw an arm over my eyes. “The end result will be me finding my shell?”
“Yes, Ariana and the Fae King need you to be the ruler of demons.”
I snorted. “The devil you know and all of that.”
“Something of that nature.”
“All right I vow to not kill my uncle if I get my shell back.”
He clapped his hands in excitement. “Okay. Good. Fantastic. Now, let’s get you to open up.” Maybe I would rather die. “So, how about we start with why you insist on working in a space full with what I am assuming is your blood?”
I didn’t lift my arm from my face. “It’s a reminder, of what my father and uncle did to me, and the people I’ve loved he has taken from me and all that I’ve lost.” Tally was quiet. “Is this where you tell me I have survivor’s guilt? Because I can promise you, I do not feel any guilt that he died and I didn’t.”
“You did witness it, correct?”
“Yep. Then I stepped over my father’s still-warm corpse to collect my crown. The one my brother tried to take from me by planning my demise numerous times. The Werewolf King and Queen offed him. Good riddance. One less person I have to worry about stabbing me in the back.”
“You live in a lonely world.”
“Wow. Way to cheer me up. Good thing I’m not paying for this session.” Plus, I already knew that.
“I heard ever since you took the crown off of your dead father’s body, you have refused to remove it. I hear that you even shower with it.”
I snickered. I didn’t shower with it, but let them think whatever they wanted to. The fairy flew in circles around the office before landing on the corner of my desk. I peered up at him, waiting for him to make his next point.
“Tell me why do you think you’re in such a slump right now.”
I thought about his question and decided to answer it with complete honesty. “Because I’m not him. No matter how hard I try, I will never be my father.”
The fairy gave me a disgusted look. “And why would you ever want to emulate that man? He was a wretched soul. You should thank your lucky stars you’re not him.”
Was he joking? My father was feared by all. Maybe the fairy didn’t understand how dire of a predicament I was truly in. I voiced the thing concerning me the most. “Sometimes, I hesitate to make a kill that should be easy. And worse, sometimes after I’ve killed, I have … I have guilt.” I said, almost choking on the word.
The fairy’s mouth dropped open, and his wings flapped double time. “A demon with a consci
ence?” He started pacing all over my open folders lying on my desk. “This is why they sent me to you, and this is why you are in a slump.” He chuckled.
Lucky for me, I was in reaching distance of the desk. I sat up and flicked him across the room. “Not funny, ash-hole.”
He rolled himself into a sitting position, wiping the tears from his eyes. “I’m not laughing at you. It’s just I assumed you were a head case, teetering on insanity, and instead I find out that you’re a good demon. This is fantastic!”
“Fantastic,” I snarled. “No, fantastic would be governing a body of demons that actually listens to me and respects me. In order to keep these demons in line, I have to instill fear in them. Which usually means someone has to die. Having a conscience is going to make me a horrible ruler and might even be the death of me. I have to fix this.”
His head cocked to the side. “Fix your good side? You want to be evil?” When I didn’t reply, he said, “Ahh, I see. It’s interesting how you view yourself. Have you ever thought that it might be the good side in you that will save us all?”
I snorted. “If I lose this crown, I won’t be saving anyone. I’ll be dead.”
“So, let’s not lose the crown.” The fairy gave me a mischievous smile. “I’ll vow to help you to secure the crown, but in return I need you to let me help you how I see fit.”
“If not allowing me to cuss was a precursor of how you will help me, no thanks. I have no urge to be a goody-two-shoes. Not to mention, being good will get me buried.”
“I’m not saying you have to be Mother Teresa, but let’s aim for somewhere between Gandhi and … and … and … well, you.”
I should be offended but I wasn’t. He was asking me to reach for higher than average on the moral calculator of life. He had jokes. So cute. “Um, why don’t you try to loosen up a bit? Lose the bow tie and every once and a while throw out an F-bomb, or is that too scandalous?”
The Demon Queen Page 2
