CHAPTER XXV
At Nikolskoe Katya and Arkady were sitting in the garden on a turf seatin the shade of a tall ash tree; Fifi had placed himself on the groundnear them, giving his slender body that graceful curve, which is knownamong dog-fanciers as 'the hare bend.' Both Arkady and Katya weresilent; he was holding a half-open book in his hands, while she waspicking out of a basket the few crumbs of bread left in it, andthrowing them to a small family of sparrows, who with the frightenedimpudence peculiar to them were hopping and chirping at her very feet.A faint breeze stirring in the ash leaves kept slowly moving pale-goldflecks of sunlight up and down over the path and Fifi's tawny back; apatch of unbroken shade fell upon Arkady and Katya; only from time totime a bright streak gleamed on her hair. Both were silent, but thevery way in which they were silent, in which they were sittingtogether, was expressive of confidential intimacy; each of them seemednot even to be thinking of his companion, while secretly rejoicing inhis presence. Their faces, too, had changed since we saw them last;Arkady looked more tranquil, Katya brighter and more daring.
'Don't you think,' began Arkady, 'that the ash has been very well namedin Russian _yasen_; no other tree is so lightly and brightlytransparent (_yasno_) against the air as it is.'
Katya raised her eyes to look upward, and assented, 'Yes'; while Arkadythought, 'Well, she does not reproach me for _talking finely_.'
'I don't like Heine,' said Katya, glancing towards the book whichArkady was holding in his hands, 'either when he laughs or when heweeps; I like him when he's thoughtful and melancholy.'
'And I like him when he laughs,' remarked Arkady.
'That's the relics left in you of your old satirical tendencies.'('Relics!' thought Arkady--'if Bazarov had heard that?') 'Wait alittle; we shall transform you.'
'Who will transform me? You?'
'Who?--my sister; Porfiry Platonovitch, whom you've given upquarrelling with; auntie, whom you escorted to church the day beforeyesterday.'
'Well, I couldn't refuse! And as for Anna Sergyevna, she agreed withYevgeny in a great many things, you remember?'
'My sister was under his influence then, just as you were.'
'As I was? Do you discover, may I ask, that I've shaken off hisinfluence now?'
Katya did not speak.
'I know,' pursued Arkady, 'you never liked him.'
'I can have no opinion about him.'
'Do you know, Katerina Sergyevna, every time I hear that answer Idisbelieve it.... There is no man that every one of us could not havean opinion about! That's simply a way of getting out of it.'
'Well, I'll say, then, I don't.... It's not exactly that I don't likehim, but I feel that he's of a different order from me, and I amdifferent from him ... and you too are different from him.'
'How's that?'
'How can I tell you.... He's a wild animal, and you and I are tame.'
'Am I tame too?'
Katya nodded.
Arkady scratched his ear. 'Let me tell you, Katerina Sergyevna, do youknow, that's really an insult?'
'Why, would you like to be a wild----'
'Not wild, but strong, full of force.'
'It's no good wishing for that.... Your friend, you see, doesn't wishfor it, but he has it.'
'Hm! So you imagine he had a great influence on Anna Sergyevna?'
'Yes. But no one can keep the upper hand of her for long,' added Katyain a low voice.
'Why do you think that?'
'She's very proud.... I didn't mean that ... she values herindependence a great deal.'
'Who doesn't value it?' asked Arkady, and the thought flashed throughhis mind, 'What good is it?' 'What good is it?' it occurred to Katya towonder too. When young people are often together on friendly terms,they are constantly stumbling on the same ideas.
Arkady smiled, and, coming slightly closer to Katya, he said in awhisper, 'Confess that you are a little afraid of her.'
'Of whom?'
'Her,' repeated Arkady significantly.
'And how about you?' Katya asked in her turn.
'I am too, observe I said, I am _too_.'
Katya threatened him with her finger. 'I wonder at that,' she began;'my sister has never felt so friendly to you as just now; much more sothan when you first came.'
'Really!'
'Why, haven't you noticed it? Aren't you glad of it?'
Arkady grew thoughtful.
'How have I succeeded in gaining Anna Sergyevna's good opinion? Wasn'tit because I brought her your mother's letters?'
'Both that and other causes, which I shan't tell you.'
'Why?'
'I shan't say.'
'Oh! I know; you're very obstinate.'
'Yes, I am.'
'And observant.'
Katya gave Arkady a sidelong look. 'Perhaps so; does that irritate you?What are you thinking of?'
'I am wondering how you have come to be as observant as in fact youare. You are so shy so reserved; you keep every one at a distance.'
'I have lived a great deal alone; that drives one to reflection. But doI really keep every one at a distance?'
Arkady flung a grateful glance at Katya.
'That's all very well,' he pursued; 'but people in your position--Imean in your circumstances--don't often have that faculty; it is hardfor them, as it is for sovereigns, to get at the truth.'
'But, you see, I am not rich.'
Arkady was taken aback, and did not at once understand Katya. 'Why, ofcourse, the property's all her sister's!' struck him suddenly; thethought was not unpleasing to him. 'How nicely you said that!' hecommented.
'What?'
'You said it nicely, simply, without being ashamed or making a boast ofit. By the way, I imagine there must always be something special, akind of pride of a sort in the feeling of any man, who knows and sayshe is poor.'
'I have never experienced anything of that sort, thanks to my sister. Ionly referred to my position just now because it happened to come up.'
'Well; but you must own you have a share of that pride I spoke of justnow.'
'For instance?'
'For instance, you--forgive the question--you wouldn't marry a richman, I fancy, would you?'
'If I loved him very much.... No, I think even then I wouldn't marryhim.'
'There! you see!' cried Arkady, and after a short pause he added, 'Andwhy wouldn't you marry him?'
'Because even in the ballads unequal matches are always unlucky.'
'You want to rule, perhaps, or ...'
'Oh, no! why should I? On the contrary, I am ready to obey; onlyinequality is intolerable. To respect one's self and obey, that I canunderstand, that's happiness; but a subordinate existence ... No, I'vehad enough of that as it is.'
'Enough of that as it is,' Arkady repeated after Katya. 'Yes, yes,' hewent on, 'you're not Anna Sergyevna's sister for nothing; you're justas independent as she is; but you're more reserved. I'm certain youwouldn't be the first to give expression to your feeling, howeverstrong and holy it might be ...'
'Well, what would you expect?' asked Katya.
'You're equally clever; and you've as much, if not more, character thanshe.'
'Don't compare me with my sister, please,' interposed Katya hurriedly;'that's too much to my disadvantage. You seem to forget my sister'sbeautiful and clever, and ... you in particular, Arkady Nikolaevitch,ought not to say such things, and with such a serious face too.'
'What do you mean by "you in particular"--and what makes you suppose Iam joking?'
'Of course, you are joking.'
'You think so? But what if I'm persuaded of what I say? If I believe Ihave not put it strongly enough even?'
'I don't understand you.'
'Really? Well, now I see; I certainly took you to be more observantthan you are.'
'How?'
Arkady made no answer, and turned away, while Katya looked for a fewmore crumbs in the basket, and began throwing them to the sparrows; butshe moved her arm too vigorously, and they flew aw
ay, without stoppingto pick them up.
'Katerina Sergyevna!' began Arkady suddenly; 'it's of no consequence toyou, probably; but, let me tell you, I put you not only above yoursister, but above every one in the world.'
He got up and went quickly away, as though he were frightened at thewords that had fallen from his lips.
Katya let her two hands drop together with the basket on to her lap,and with bent head she stared a long while after Arkady. Gradually acrimson flush came faintly out upon her cheeks; but her lips did notsmile and her dark eyes had a look of perplexity and some other, as yetundefined, feeling.
'Are you alone?' she heard the voice of Anna Sergyevna near her; 'Ithought you came into the garden with Arkady.'
Katya slowly raised her eyes to her sister (elegantly, even elaboratelydressed, she was standing in the path and tickling Fifi's ears with thetip of her open parasol), and slowly replied, 'Yes, I'm alone.'
'So I see,' she answered with a smile; 'I suppose he has gone to hisroom.'
'Yes.'
'Have you been reading together?'
'Yes.'
Anna Sergyevna took Katya by the chin and lifted her face up.
'You have not been quarrelling, I hope?'
'No,' said Katya, and she quietly removed her sister's hand.
'How solemnly you answer! I expected to find him here, and meant tosuggest his coming a walk with me. That's what he is always asking for.They have sent you some shoes from the town; go and try them on; Inoticed only yesterday your old ones are quite shabby. You never thinkenough about it, and you have such charming little feet! Your hands arenice too ... though they're large; so you must make the most of yourlittle feet. But you're not vain.'
Anna Sergyevna went farther along the path with a light rustle of herbeautiful gown; Katya got up from the grass, and, taking Heine withher, went away too--but not to try on her shoes.
'Charming little feet!' she thought, as she slowly and lightly mountedthe stone steps of the terrace, which were burning with the heat of thesun; 'charming little feet you call them.... Well, he shall be atthem.'
But all at once a feeling of shame came upon her, and she ran swiftlyupstairs.
Arkady had gone along the corridor to his room; a steward had overtakenhim, and announced that Mr. Bazarov was in his room.
'Yevgeny!' murmured Arkady, almost with dismay; 'has he been herelong?'
'Mr. Bazarov arrived this minute, sir, and gave orders not to announcehim to Anna Sergyevna, but to show him straight up to you.'
'Can any misfortune have happened at home?' thought Arkady, and runninghurriedly up the stairs, he at once opened the door. The sight ofBazarov at once reassured him, though a more experienced eye might veryprobably have discerned signs of inward agitation in the sunken, thoughstill energetic face of the unexpected visitor. With a dusty cloak overhis shoulders, with a cap on his head, he was sitting at the window; hedid not even get up when Arkady flung himself with noisy exclamationson his neck.
'This is unexpected! What good luck brought you?' he kept repeating,bustling about the room like one who both imagines himself and wishesto show himself delighted. 'I suppose everything's all right at home;every one's well, eh?'
'Everything's all right, but not every one's well,' said Bazarov.'Don't be a chatterbox, but send for some kvass for me, sit down, andlisten while I tell you all about it in a few, but, I hope, prettyvigorous sentences.'
Arkady was quiet while Bazarov described his duel with PavelPetrovitch. Arkady was very much surprised, and even grieved, but hedid not think it necessary to show this; he only asked whether hisuncle's wound was really not serious; and on receiving the reply thatit was most interesting, but not from a medical point of view, he gavea forced smile, but at heart he felt both wounded and as it wereashamed. Bazarov seemed to understand him.
'Yes, my dear fellow,' he commented, 'you see what comes of living withfeudal personages. You turn a feudal personage yourself, and findyourself taking part in knightly tournaments. Well, so I set off for myfather's,' Bazarov wound up, 'and I've turned in here on the way ... totell you all this, I should say, if I didn't think a useless lie apiece of foolery. No, I turned in here--the devil only knows why. Yousee, it's sometimes a good thing for a man to take himself by thescruff of the neck and pull himself up, like a radish out of its bed;that's what I've been doing of late.... But I wanted to have one morelook at what I'm giving up, at the bed where I've been planted.'
'I hope those words don't refer to me,' responded Arkady with someemotion; 'I hope you don't think of giving me up?'
Bazarov turned an intent, almost piercing look upon him.
'Would that be such a grief to you? It strikes me _you_ have given meup already, you look so fresh and smart.... Your affair with AnnaSergyevna must be getting on successfully.'
'What do you mean by my affair with Anna Sergyevna?'
'Why, didn't you come here from the town on her account, chicken? Bythe way, how are those Sunday schools getting on? Do you mean to tellme you're not in love with her? Or have you already reached the stageof discretion?'
'Yevgeny, you know I have always been open with you; I can assure you,I will swear to you, you're making a mistake.'
'Hm! That's another story,' remarked Bazarov in an undertone. 'But youneedn't be in a taking, it's a matter of absolute indifference to me. Asentimentalist would say, "I feel that our paths are beginning topart," but I will simply say that we're tired of each other.'
'Yevgeny ...'
'My dear soul, there's no great harm in that. One gets tired of muchmore than that in this life. And now I suppose we'd better saygood-bye, hadn't we? Ever since I've been here I've had such aloathsome feeling, just as if I'd been reading Gogol's effusions to thegovernor of Kalouga's wife. By the way, I didn't tell them to take thehorses out.'
'Upon my word, this is too much!'
'Why?'
'I'll say nothing of myself; but that would be discourteous to the lastdegree to Anna Sergyevna, who will certainly wish to see you.'
'Oh, you're mistaken there.'
'On the contrary, I am certain I'm right,' retorted Arkady. 'And whatare you pretending for? If it comes to that, haven't you come here onher account yourself?'
'That may be so, but you're mistaken any way.'
But Arkady was right. Anna Sergyevna desired to see Bazarov, and sent asummons to him by a steward. Bazarov changed his clothes before goingto her; it turned out that he had packed his new suit so as to be ableto get it out easily.
Madame Odintsov received him not in the room where he had sounexpectedly declared his love to her, but in the drawing-room. Sheheld her finger tips out to him cordially, but her face betrayed aninvoluntary sense of tension.
'Anna Sergyevna,' Bazarov hastened to say, 'before everything else Imust set your mind at rest. Before you is a poor mortal, who has cometo his senses long ago, and hopes other people too have forgotten hisfollies. I am going away for a long while; and though, as you willallow, I'm by no means a very soft creature, it would be anything butcheerful for me to carry away with me the idea that you remember mewith repugnance.'
Anna Sergyevna gave a deep sigh like one who has just climbed up a highmountain, and her face was lighted up by a smile. She held out her handa second time to Bazarov, and responded to his pressure.
'Let bygones be bygones,' she said. 'I am all the readier to do sobecause, speaking from my conscience, I was to blame then too forflirting or something. In a word, let us be friends as before. That wasa dream, wasn't it? And who remembers dreams?'
'Who remembers them? And besides, love ... you know, is a purelyimaginary feeling.'
'Really? I am very glad to hear that.'
So Anna Sergyevna spoke, and so spoke Bazarov; they both supposed theywere speaking the truth. Was the truth, the whole truth, to be found intheir words? They could not themselves have said, and much less couldthe author. But a conversation followed between them precisely asthough they completely believed one another.
Anna Sergyevna asked Bazarov, among other things, what he had beendoing at the Kirsanovs'. He was on the point of telling her about hisduel with Pavel Petrovitch, but he checked himself with the thoughtthat she might imagine he was trying to make himself interesting, andanswered that he had been at work all the time.
'And I,' observed Anna Sergyevna, 'had a fit of depression at first,goodness knows why; I even made plans for going abroad, fancy!... Thenit passed off, your friend Arkady Nikolaitch came, and I fell back intomy old routine, and took up my real part again.'
'What part is that, may I ask?'
'The character of aunt, guardian, mother--call it what you like. By theway, do you know I used not quite to understand your close friendshipwith Arkady Nikolaitch; I thought him rather insignificant. But now Ihave come to know him better, and to see that he is clever.... And he'syoung, he's young ... that's the great thing ... not like you and me,Yevgeny Vassilyitch.'
'Is he still as shy in your company?' queried Bazarov.
'Why, was he?' ... Anna Sergyevna began, and after a brief pause shewent on: 'He has grown more confiding now; he talks to me. He used toavoid me before. Though, indeed, I didn't seek his society either. He'smore friends with Katya.'
Bazarov felt irritated. 'A woman can't help humbugging, of course!' hethought. 'You say he used to avoid you,' he said aloud, with a chillysmile; 'but it is probably no secret to you that he was in love withyou?'
'What! he too?' fell from Anna Sergyevna's lips.
'He too,' repeated Bazarov, with a submissive bow. 'Can it be youdidn't know it, and I've told you something new?'
Anna Sergyevna dropped her eyes. 'You are mistaken, YevgenyVassilyitch.'
'I don't think so. But perhaps I ought not to have mentioned it.' 'Anddon't you try telling me lies again for the future,' he added tohimself.
'Why not? But I imagine that in this too you are attributing too muchimportance to a passing impression. I begin to suspect you are inclinedto exaggeration.'
'We had better not talk about it, Anna Sergyevna.'
'Oh, why?' she retorted; but she herself led the conversation intoanother channel. She was still ill at ease with Bazarov, though she hadtold him, and assured herself that everything was forgotten. While shewas exchanging the simplest sentences with him, even while she wasjesting with him, she was conscious of a faint spasm of dread. Sopeople on a steamer at sea talk and laugh carelessly, for all the worldas though they were on dry land; but let only the slightest hitchoccur, let the least sign be seen of anything out of the common, and atonce on every face there comes out an expression of peculiar alarm,betraying the constant consciousness of constant danger.
Anna Sergyevna's conversation with Bazarov did not last long. She beganto seem absorbed in thought, answered abstractedly, and suggested atlast that they should go into the hall, where they found the princessand Katya. 'But where is Arkady Nikolaitch?' inquired the lady of thehouse; and on hearing that he had not shown himself for more than anhour, she sent for him. He was not very quickly found; he had hiddenhimself in the very thickest part of the garden, and with his chinpropped on his folded hands, he was sitting lost in meditation. Theywere deep and serious meditations, but not mournful. He knew AnnaSergyevna was sitting alone with Bazarov, and he felt no jealousy, asonce he had; on the contrary, his face slowly brightened; he seemed tobe at once wondering and rejoicing, and resolving on something.
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