by Sandi Lynn
I paced around the room, rubbing the back of my head, trying to calm down. But with each word she spoke, the angrier I became. There was no forgiveness here. There never could be.
“Your husband obviously doesn’t know the real you.”
“Yes, he does. He knows all about my past and he accepted me.”
“Then he’s more fucked up than you are!” I scowled.
“Daddy! Stop!” Julia began to cry. “This is my decision. This is my life, not yours. Now get out of here!”
“Princess.” I looked at her as tears filled my eyes.
“Daddy, I love you, but I can’t sit here and listen to you. I don’t even know who you are right now and, to be honest, I don’t like you like this.”
My heart broke as I saw the disappointment splayed across her face. I sat down in the chair and cupped my face in my hands.
“Forgiveness always prevails, Daddy.”
I looked up at my daughter and stared into her eyes. Denny. Denny’s words. Ellery didn’t say anything. She just stared at me with sadness in her eyes.
“I can’t do this.” I got up from the chair and stormed out of the room. I heard Ellery call my name, but I didn’t stop; I just kept going. I took the stairwell down to the first floor, and when I reached the doors, I hailed a cab and had the driver drop me off in the parking garage at my apartment building. I climbed in the Range Rover and drove to the beach house.
Chapter 32
Connor
I arrived at the beach house and, when I walked inside, it felt strange to be in the house by myself. I walked over to the bar and poured a scotch and took it outside on the patio. My phone kept ringing. When I looked at it, I saw that I had four missed calls from Ellery and three missed calls from Collin. Obviously, she told him what was going on. As soon as I set my phone down, a text message from Collin came through.
“Dad, you’re freaking us all out. Where are you?”
I did the unthinkable and turned my phone off and hid from my family. I just wanted to be left alone. Ashlyn, the memories, and the hell that bitch put me and my family through all those years ago was something I’d never forget. I never wanted that woman back in our lives, and now to find out that she, the one person I hated the most in this world and wanted dead, could save my daughter’s life was too much to fucking handle.
I went inside and grabbed the bottle of scotch and took it down to the beach. As I sat in the sand and stared across the ocean, I started to talk to Denny.
“If there was ever a time I needed you, old man, now is it. How the fuck am I supposed to accept something like this? You told me in your letter and to Julia that forgiveness always prevails. Maybe it does. But not in this case; not where Ashlyn is concerned. How do I look at my daughter every day, knowing that she has an organ in her that once belonged to the one person I despised the most on the face of this earth?” I brought the bottle up to my lips and tilted my head back, taking more than a small drink. “How the hell do you forgive someone who nearly destroyed you? Who nearly cost you the woman of your dreams and the love of your life? The same person who threatened my daughter when she was just a baby?” I took another drink as tears streamed down my face. “Damn you, Denny. Damn you for dying and leaving me here to face this on my own!” I took another drink and, before I knew it, the bottle was almost empty. “At least tell me something. Don’t just leave me here like this, old man.”
It was at that moment when I swore I felt someone place their hand on my shoulder. I quickly turned around, but no one was there. I took the last sip of scotch and fell over in the sand.
****
Ellery
“Are you sure he’s there, Mom?” Collin asked me as we drove to the beach house.
“If there was one place he’d go to, it’s there.”
Watching Connor’s reaction to Ashlyn reminded me of the day Kyle told him I had cancer. The look on his face, the hate in his eyes, and the tone of his voice was something I had never wanted to see again. And for the first time, since that day, I saw that side of my husband. I didn’t blame him, though. How could I? I sighed. Collin reached over and took hold of my hand.
“Don’t worry, Mom. We’ll find him and, hopefully, he’s calmed down. Do you really believe that Ashlyn’s changed?”
“I don’t know what to believe. All I know is I need to get to your father.”
“We’ll be there soon, Mom. Try to relax.”
I could see the Range Rover parked in the driveway from down the street. I let out a sigh of relief as Collin pulled up. I flew out of the car and into the house, calling Connor’s name. He didn’t answer. I saw that the liquor cabinet over the bar was open and I told Collin to go upstairs and see if Connor was in the bedroom.
“No, Mom. He’s not up here.”
I began to panic as I walked outside to the back. I saw the glass sitting on the table and, when I looked down to the beach, I saw Connor lying in the sand.
“He’s out here,” I yelled to Collin.
I knelt down beside Connor and noticed the empty bottle of scotch. Collin came running down and stood beside him.
“Yep. I know what that’s like.”
I shot him a look and told him to help me get Connor up to the beach house.
“Come on, Connor. You’re drunk and you need to get to bed.”
Collin and I pulled him up.
“I want to be alone,” he slurred.
“Well, that’s just too damn bad. Running away from situations was my thing, Mr. Black. Not yours. And when you’re sober, we’re going to have a discussion about you turning off your phone.”
“I love you, Elle, but you need to be quiet.”
A cocky smirk crossed Collin’s face as he looked at me.
“You think this is funny, young man?” I said in a stern voice.
“No, Mom. Not funny at all.” He laughed.
We got Connor into the house and up the stairs. After laying him on the bed, Collin and I went downstairs.
“He’ll be out for a few hours and, when he wakes up, I don’t know what he’s going to do.”
“I’m sorry this is happening, Mom,” Collin said as he wrapped his arms around me. “Dad just needs some time to process all of this. We all do. Why don’t we order a pizza and we can sit down and try to figure things out.”
“Go ahead and order the pizza but as for trying to figure things out, it’s not up to us to figure anything out. Like Julia said, it’s her decision and her life and there’s nothing we can do to stop it.”
****
Connor
I opened my eyes and looked around the room, wondering how I had gotten in bed. I glanced over at the clock and it read ten p.m. When I climbed out and unsteadily walked downstairs, I saw Ellery and Collin sitting on the couch.
“Ellery,” I spoke.
She got up and walked over to where I was standing, wrapped her arms around me, and laid her head on my chest.
“You had me so worried, Connor.”
“I know and I’m sorry. I just needed to get out of there.” I held her head tightly against my chest.
“Hey, Dad,” Collin said as he placed his hand on my shoulder.
“Hey, son.”
“Now that I see you’re okay, I’m going to head back to the city.”
“It’s late. Stay the night and head back in the morning,” I spoke.
“The night is still young, and besides, you two need time alone to talk. Plus, I want to get home to my wife.” He walked away and before he reached the door, he stopped. “By the way, you told Mom to be quiet.” He snickered. “Good luck, Dad.”
Shit. “Thanks, Collin.”
“You better be careful driving home!” Ellery yelled as he walked out the door.
“Did I really tell you to be quiet?” I asked with a hint of fear in my voice.
“Yes, you did.”
“Can you yell at me tomorrow? I really want to go back to bed.”
“Of course I can wait. But be
prepared to get an earful in the morning.” She smiled.
I sighed and wrapped my arm around her as we walked up the stairs and went to bed. I didn’t want to talk about Ashlyn and Ellery knew it. That was why she never brought it up. We climbed in bed and she wrapped her body around me as I held her tight.
The next morning, I felt soft lips pressing against mine. I opened my eyes to see my beautiful wife staring at me.
“Good morning.” I smiled.
“Good morning. We need to get up, talk, and then head back to the city.”
I sighed. “Are we talking or yelling?”
Her mouth curved into a small smile as she ran her fingers across my forehead. “No yelling. I’ve decided to let yesterday slide. But we do need to discuss Julia.”
She climbed out of bed and slipped on her robe.
“Ellery,” I called out.
“Yes, Connor?” She turned her head and looked at me.
“No cocktail today. I’m fine.”
“Okay. I’ll go start the coffee.” She winked.
I got out of bed, took a shower, and got dressed. When I walked into the kitchen, Ellery handed me a cup of coffee. We went outside and sat down on some beach chairs she had set up down by the water.
“I’m not okay with all this, Elle. I will admit to you that I’m scared. That woman is up to something. People don’t just change like that.”
“I know what you mean, Connor, and I don’t like it any more than you do. In fact, I hate it. It makes me sick to my stomach seeing her and knowing that Julia would trust her enough to let her donate her kidney to her. But it’s Julia’s decision and she has hope. Hope that only a stranger can give her.” Tears started to fill my eyes. “We have to trust our daughter. We have no other choice. I think that we need to talk to Ashlyn in a calm and rational manner and really get a feel for her sincerity.”
“I can’t talk to that bitch, Ellery. You know that. Just looking at her turns me into a different person. A person that I don’t like.”
She reached over and took hold of my hand. “I know, but we have to do it for our daughter, for our son in-law, and especially for our grandson. Jake needs his wife and Brayden needs his mother.”
What Ellery spoke was the truth and it made me sick to my stomach to think that I would have to try and hold a civilized conversation with Ashlyn.
Chapter 33
Connor
As Ellery and I drove back to the city, her phone rang. It was Julia calling. She had been released from the hospital and was home. Instead of going straight to the penthouse with Ellery, I knocked on Julia’s door. Jake answered.
“Hey, Connor.” He gave me a light hug.
“Where is she?”
“She’s in the bedroom changing. She’ll be out in a minute. I’m going to go up to the penthouse to leave you two alone so you can talk.”
“Does she even want to speak to me?”
“I’m sure she does. She’s still really upset.”
He patted my shoulder and walked out the door. Julia came out from the bedroom and stopped when she saw me standing there.
“Hi, princess.” I smiled.
“Hi, Dad. Where’s Jake?”
“He went up to the penthouse so we can talk.”
“Then let’s talk.” She sat down on the couch and I sat next to her.
“I’m sorry for everything, princess. I just wish she wasn’t the one.”
“I know that, but she is and she’s willing to help me. After you stormed out of the hospital, we talked for a long time. She told me what a horrible person she was back then and how sorry she was for what she did to you and Mom. I do believe that there’s some good in her. This is her way of trying to repent for all her mistakes. This is my chance, Daddy. My chance at regaining my life back and if it’s her kidney that will give me that, then so be it. You can’t protect me forever. I’m an adult, a wife and a mother, and I make my own life decisions.”
Tears sprang to my eyes when she reached over and placed her hand on mine.
“I want to protect you from all things bad, Julia. I made a promise to you when you were a baby that I would always be here for you. To guide you and to protect you from the evils of this world.”
“And so far, you have. But there are some things you can’t control and me accepting Ashlyn’s kidney is one of those things.”
“I know, princess, and I’m sorry.”
She reached over and wrapped her arms around me. “I love you, Dad.”
“I love you too, baby.”
****
I had Laurinda do some digging around and get me Ashlyn’s phone number. I leaned back in my chair as a sickness washed over me when I dialed her number.
“Hello,” she answered.
“Ashlyn, it’s Connor. We need to talk.”
“Okay, but only if you promise not to behave like you did the other day at the hospital.”
“You have my word.” I clenched my fist as I felt the burning anger flow throughout my body.
****
As Ralph pulled up to Ashlyn’s home, I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. This was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do—facing the enemy who was the only person at this moment who could save my daughter. We walked up the steps to the brown brick home and Ellery squeezed my hand as she rang the doorbell. The door opened and a man, Ashlyn’s husband, I presumed, stood there staring at us.
“Hello, you must Connor and Ellery. I’m Thomas, Ashlyn’s husband.” He held out his hand to me.
I shook his hand, and as we stepped inside the foyer, Ashlyn walked down the stairs. I could tell she was nervous.
“Hello, Connor. Ellery.” She nodded.
I took in a sharp breath because I wasn’t so sure anymore if I could do this. My palms were sweating and all I could think about was getting this over with as we followed them into the living room.
“I know how hard this must be for the both of you,” Thomas spoke. “I know all about Ashlyn’s past and the things she did to you. Please believe me when I tell you that she isn’t that woman anymore.”
“That’s to be determined,” I said in a harsh voice.
“Please sit down. Can I get you a scotch, Connor?” Ashlyn asked.
“No. I just want to get this over with so we can be on our way. Why don’t you start by telling me why you’re doing this and what your agenda is?”
She sat down in the dark green wing-backed chair across from me and Ellery. “I don’t have an agenda, Connor. I’m doing this because your daughter needs help and I can help her. Like I told you before, I’m not that same person I was all those years ago. I want to make up for all the mistakes I made back then and live life the best I can.” She looked down as she interlaced her fingers together on her lap. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness and I’m not asking for it. I still can’t forgive myself for what I’ve done, but I can try to come to terms with it. I’m a volunteer at the hospital. I read to the elderly and hold the hands of those who are dying that never get any visitors. I spend a lot of my time volunteering at the food bank and I do work for a lot of different charities. I was in the ER that night they brought in Julia and I was there when they rushed her up to surgery. Believe it or not, I was scared for you and Ellery because I knew if something happened to her, it would destroy the both of you.”
I sat there, staring at her, trying to get a grip on her tone, her words, her body language. She was never a hard one to read because she had always been a cold-hearted, manipulative bitch. There was only one time I saw her like this and that was before Amanda committed suicide and she had her heart broken by her boyfriend. It was a night that I stayed with her and talked into the early hours of the morning. Telling her that he wasn’t worth it and that she deserved better than him. It wasn’t until after Amanda’s death that Ashlyn changed.
“It doesn’t matter anymore whether you believe my intentions are good, because to me, I know that I’m doing the right thing by Julia,” Ashlyn
spoke. “I found out years ago that I can never have children. Your grandson needs his mother.”
“This is a big thing to do,” Ellery said as she looked at her. “And you’re okay with this, Thomas?”
“I support whatever decisions my wife makes. If she wants to help your daughter by giving her a kidney so she can live a full, normal life, then I commend her for that.”
I sat there and slowly shook my head. This was a losing battle and the decision was already made. It was now up to me to come to terms with it. I got up from the couch and took Ellery’s hand.
“We need to get going. Thank you for talking with us and—” I inhaled deeply. “Thank you for what you’re doing for my daughter.”
“You’re welcome.”
“It was nice to meet you, Thomas,” Ellery spoke as she held out her hand.
“It was nice to meet both of you as well. Thank you for coming over.”
I gave them both a small smile and exhaled as soon as we walked out the door.
Chapter 34
Julia
My surgery was scheduled for next week but until then, I still had to undergo dialysis. I spent more time being exhausted, but I knew that soon, it would be over. Tonight was family dinner and my mom had invited my grandmother over. When we stepped off the elevator and walked into the kitchen, my grandmother gave me a hug.
“There’s my darling granddaughter. How are you feeling?”
“Very tired, Grandma.”
She placed her hands on each side of my face. “Soon you’ll be feeling like a million bucks again.” She smiled.
“Don’t I get a hug, Grandma?” Collin said as he held out his arms.
“Of course you do, darling. How are you?”
“I’m good, Grams.”
After giving our grandmother a hug, Collin hooked his arm around me and kissed my cheek.
“How was dialysis today?”
“Boring as usual.”
“Soon it’ll all be over with. You’ll have a new kidney and life can get back to normal.”
“Hopefully, my body doesn’t reject it,” I spoke.
He leaned over and whispered in my ear, “It won’t because it’s Ashlyn’s. Your body will accept it just to piss Dad off.”
