by Ambere Sabo
Trying to control every fiber in my body screaming for me to kill the dick before me, I sit forward very slowly. Fighting every urge to reach for the gun tucked into my jeans, I grit out, “I will only tell you this once Enterrador. I heard our father speak more than you will ever know when I was being held captive. The memory of him telling Kisin to do with me as he pleased will forever be burned into my memory. You have no clue who our father really is.”
He studies me for a moment before asking, “Why are you here Lena?”
“Lena died a very long time ago. Just as Adan did, Enterrador.” I tell him leaning back into the couch. I can't help but smile to myself just a bit as he flinches at my words. Petty as it may be, I want to see him hurt. “I’m here for Alex.”
“Alex, as you say, died a very long time ago.”
“Are you sure about that?” I ask tracing the seams of the armrest before looking up at him through my long dark lashes.
Chapter 3
Snoopy
“No, I haven’t fucking heard from her,” I snap at Lilly shouldering past her to get to the refrigerator. I swear she asks me this shit like every damn day, and I can’t take it anymore.
“Dude you better watch who you’re yelling at,” Cessy sasses at me from the sink as she makes Phoenix a bottle. “Gunner or Havoc hear you talking to her like that, and you're likely to lose your balls,” she tells me gesturing to Lilly who is looking at her feet warily.
“Look, Lil, I get it. You miss her, but you need to understand I don’t. I have no reason to talk to Selena, ever again.” I tell her as I turn to walk away.
“You don’t have to do that you know,” Lilly whispers.
“Do what?” I ask reaching up to pinch the bridge of my nose. I can't get a headache right now. I have shit I need to do. Shit that doesn’t involve Selena, well maybe directly. We have to find out where the hell the cartel has moved all the children. The task force keeps coming up empty, and Rodeo has made it my top priority. I don’t have time for this shit.
“It's okay to miss her, Snoop,” Lil tells me before running out of the kitchen with tears streaming down her face.
Tilting my face to the ceiling, “Fuck me,” I huff out.
With a pat on my shoulder as she walks up to the counter behind me, Cessy sighs, “She's right you know.”
“Damnit Cess. Not you too.”
Putting her hands out in front of her, “Hey don’t kill the messenger Snoop, but we all see it. And it's okay. Really, it is. Why do you think Rodeo has you on this super-secret mission?” she asks using finger quotes over a super-secret.
“How do you know about that?” I snap. A shrug of her shoulders is all I get.
The damned woman always knows everything that’s going on in this club. “I don’t fucking miss her, Cess. How could I? She betrayed the club, she betrayed…” pausing when I can't bring myself to admit it out loud.
“You,” Cessy finishes for me before pulling herself up on the counter. “She betrayed you, Snoop. She didn’t betray the club. She did exactly what she said she would. She saved Lilly from that twisted ass brother of hers and lost her freedom in the process. She told us all, in the beginning, that there were things she wouldn’t tell us. But she also swore she’d give up her life if it meant saving Lil and she did. None of us are mad at her for that.”
“How the fuck can you not be mad at her?”
“Because I didn’t know her, Snoop. None of us did. Not like you and Lil did. To me, she made it so someone I hold dear could have a life. Could stop looking over her shoulder every fucking minute of every fucking day. And for that, I can’t be mad at her. Lil isn’t mad at her either.”
Before I have a chance to interrupt, she puts her hand up and continues, “Lil misses the friend that she made. A friend who wasn’t in this life. A friend that isn’t friends with her because of her brother or who her father was, or who she is to this club. She made her first true friend that she could be herself with. One that she didn’t have to worry would judge her for where she comes from, for who her family is. Mythic means more to her than any man who embraced this life will ever understand, Gunner included.”
Slipping off the counter, she leaves me to take in everything she just said. Do my brothers really not hate her? Could they forgive and forget so quickly? Is Prez just trying to distract me? What the fuck? Lost in thought, I don’t realize Cess has paused at the door.
Holding on to the door frame she looks over her shoulder at me, “Do you know why you're mad at her Snoop?”
Turning to look at her my eyebrows pull down when I can't seem to find an answer. “Because you found someone to accept you too. Even more so than your brothers do. With them you have the club, but with her, you both live in the same world online. She understands you like no one here ever will. Only unlike Lil, you fell in love with her.”
Before I even have a chance to tell her she’s wrong. That there's no way in hell, I could love someone who lied to me as Mythic, Selena, did. Someone who tricked me into letting my guard down, she's gone.
There’s no fucking way in two weeks I fell in love with someone. No damn fucking way.
Chapter 4
Mythic
Being around Enterrador and the Soldados has been harder than I thought possible. I knew when I stepped back into this life it wouldn’t be all sunshine and fucking roses, but I would kill to have some simple girl talk with Lilly right now. Fuck I’d even deal with Gunner and his million questions to have it. More than that I would give anything to have just a little bit of help from Snoopy, but that sure as hell isn’t going to happen.
Enterrador spared no expense in remaking my command center even though he swore the whole time I wasn’t going to find anything on Diablo. He got me a suite the floor below him so I wouldn’t have to worry about any of Diablo’s spies knowing what the hell I was doing, but I'm still surrounded by men. Day in and day out, nothing but men. Some of which I'm sure would give their left nut to do what no one before them seemed to manage. Kill the Primera Princesa of the Infierno Cartel.
And dear old dad? Hasn’t shown his face once. Not one damn time. He called and had a long ass conversation with Enterrador wanting to make sure I was indeed who his men told him I was. Evaded and denied any question thrown at him regarding knowing I was still alive. Enterrador seems to be seeing a bit of the light as he won’t let any of the men he doesn’t trust alone with me.
A reasonable person would be hurt that their father can't seem to spare a single day to come to see his long-lost daughter. Me? The longer I can go without seeing that son of a bitch the better. I can't guarantee I wouldn’t kill him on sight and I'm pretty sure that wouldn't go over well with his lackeys.
For now, I have an encryption from hell to break through. At least Enterrador’s been good for one thing, The location of Diablo’s San Luis compound. The problem? The encryption on his security system is ten times harder than the one put on Enterrador’s system. And I had Snoopy’s help to break through that one.
Makes me wonder what the fuck he’s hiding. Because come on, besides your crazy hacker daughter that you left for dead who else would go through the trouble? What is he so afraid of people finding?
“You asked for me?” Enterrador grumbles from the entrance to my bedroom as he places his hands behind his back. He mirrors his men that are set around the suite, and it makes my skin crawl.
“Yes,” I replied looking away from him. I can’t bear to witness the man he’s become. “When were you last at Diablo’s home?”
“I haven’t been invited to the San Luis home in about fifteen years.” Pausing, he crosses over to stand beside my desk. Looking down at me with brows drawn he whispers, “Why?”
Looking up into his eyes I’m reminded of the brother I once loved. A brother who would move anything on heaven and earth to protect me and make me happy. The memory is too hard to bear. Looking away I take a breath and a moment to compose myself. Thinking back to the night I spent holding my li
ttle girl in my arms after he had taken her soul from this earth. It’s the only reminder I need to harden my heart to him. To a man I once thought could do no wrong.
Standing from my seat, I begin to pace the floor, looking only at my feet. “Because the protection he has on his security system could rival that of the White House. There’s something there. Something, or someone, he doesn’t want anyone to be able to find.” Stopping in front of him I glance up before asking, “Did you not think it was weird that he stopped having you in his home?”
With a shake of his head, he tells me, “No, at first I was happy not to have to travel that far south to meet with him. The longer it took me to get there the longer it meant I was away from Alex. Over time we mostly met at the compounds outside of Juarez or at his home in Mexico City.”
Tapping my chin, I look to the ceiling. There must be something there, I can feel it in my bones. “And our half-sisters? Where the hell are they?” I ask with disdain, as I begin to pace again. Fucking men, never can keep it in their pants.
“They’re all in the states. Diablo wanted them out of harm's way after you were…” he has the sense to not finish his sentence.
“After he had me taken and tortured, he wanted to make sure they couldn’t be used against him as they tried to do with me.” I finish for him.
With a huff he continues, “Yes, but he told everyone it was for their safety.”
“Alright, but do you know where they are?
“La Ocho is in Dallas. She’s in her twenties now and oversees the cocaine distribution in North Texas. She’s the one he kept from me the most. I don’t know much else about her. The twins are in California, both go to UCLA, and neither have much contact with him. They blame him for their mother's death.”
“Eight? Did he seriously name his daughter eight?” I ask with a laugh.
Grabbing me by my arm, he pulls me to him, “Watch what you say,” he seethes. “I have no doubt some of these men are loyal to her over Diablo or me. Her name is Christina, La Ocho is simply how she is known.”
“Don’t touch me,” I grit out as I rip myself away from him. Stalking to the other side of the room. Leaning against the wall, I cross my arms over my chest. Glaring in his direction, I ask, “Why do they blame him for their mother’s death? I thought she died in childbirth.
“She did, but Diablo was incredibly paranoid when she carried them. Not trusting anyone with her care. They feel had she had the necessary medical treatment a mother carrying twins needs she would’ve lived through their birth.”
With a nod, I look off to the side taking in all the information he’s just given me. We have no clue how many illegitimate children Diablo may have but maybe, just maybe the daughters he so kindly tossed away will be his undoing.
Chapter 5
Snoopy
Thursday… I’ve grown to hate you and yet I can’t deny that I woke this morning with one thing on my mind, Selena.
Five weeks she’s had me in this bullshit mood. I don’t know why she feels the need to email and explain herself to me. To let me see who she truly is. She’s the cartel's princess now, what the fuck does it matter what a brother of The Silent Sons MC thinks of her anyway?
That doesn’t stop me from counting down the minutes all damn day, waiting for nine p.m. so I can read whatever snippet of her life I get to be included in on today. I can’t get shit done and my focus is not where it needs to be, but I want to know her. I want to know everything. God only fucking knows why.
At first, I was stupid enough to convince myself I was simply keeping my enemy close and all that crap. The better I know her, the easier it will be to defeat her should the cartel ever again decide to come after The Silent Sons or anyone affiliated with us again. But in my heart, I know I’m as fucked as I was the day she walked into this clubhouse.
It feels like only yesterday she walked into the clubhouse. I’d been talking with her for months online. Never knowing the person on the other side of the screen was a woman. When Lil called her in that day, I was expecting a geeked out dude in his twenties. Not the beautiful blue-haired woman who stood before me.
When she popped her hands on her hips the curves of her body had me hard in that booth. Lightly tanned skin with an ass for days was so far from what I’d pictured I didn’t know what to say. My brothers teased me for hours, telling me to wipe the drool from my chin until the girls started calling them out on all the fuck ups they’ve made with women in the past. That I will admit was worth it. Who knew Gunner could turn so many shades of red?
The clock on my screen turns to nine and without a second to spare my email notification changes to one. I know I should tell Prez she’s contacting me, hell, tell her to fuck off and never reach out to me again but instead I hover over the email simply titled Me and click it.
Ashton
I’m sure by now you’ve found the footage I left on my screen. If not, well you should probably watch it. There’s a reason I wanted you to see that part of my life. To know how I found out she was having a baby. It’s hard, even now, for me to explain fully how hard it was to watch her tears. It opens up wounds I thought were healed years ago. Wounds of a broken girl I like to hide, but I don’t want to hide from you anymore Ashton. So here goes…
I had planned to contact Alex after my daughter was born. Let her know I didn’t die as she had been led to believe. I can still only imagine how much that weighed on her. That’s just who Alex was. Somehow in her head, I’m sure she felt that my death was in part her fault. I wanted her to know it wasn’t, that she had been the best friend I could’ve ever asked for.
In truth, I called her more times than I can remember. Always hanging up before I could bring myself to speak. That’s when Jesus started teaching me all he knew about hacking. With his help, I got to see her. Watch her talk to the pictures of me about everything that was going on in her life.
I was the first person to know she was pregnant, and I decided that day I would go home. I could explain to Adan what had happened to me at the hands of our father and we could all run away together. My brother, my best friend, and my baby girl. I would have everything in the world I ever needed. But our father took an interest in Alex the minute Adan told him she was pregnant.
Jesus and I decided it would be safer to wait until after their baby was born before I revealed myself to them. Jesus was terrific, helping me get everything in place to run. Money, new identities, a home for us all. No detail was left unplanned. He even helped me pick out Mythic.
Somehow Diablo found out. I have no clue how, but I know somehow, he knew what we were doing, and I lost everything all over again. Not only were Alex and her baby girl gone but he turned Adan on my new family. Taking away the last thing I had in this life that meant something to me, Iliana. Just one day before her fourth birthday.
I ran. I didn’t know if Diablo would be coming back for me too. Or if he was satisfied at leaving me once again all alone in this world. I took whatever I could from our home. The money from the safe, Mariana’s jewels, anything I could use to help myself disappear.
I spent the next two years running, never spending more than a few months in one city, never making friends, or getting to know anyone on a personal level. I engulfed myself in the hacker life. Learning everything I could to make myself a ghost, virtually untraceable.
I kept up with the cartel's dealings, anything I could find on the dark web regarding my father or my brother. Over time it didn’t matter what kind of protection Diablo had if the information was out there, I could find it.
The process had taken its toll on me though. I fell into a depression like none other and on more than one occasion contemplated taking my own life. I had nothing worth living for. The only thing that kept me going was my need for revenge. I wanted them to pay for what they’d taken from me.
Eventually, I settled down in Tahoe. I fell in love with the city and its anonymity. There were always people coming and going with the change of the seasons. I could
hide there without anyone questioning who I was or why I came and went as I did. But my life was void of any real emotions. I’d let myself become a robot with only one real goal, their destruction.
When I first started giving you information, you were merely a means to an end. I didn’t expect Lil to get caught up in the crazy Enterrador put her through. Hell, I still can’t explain what force drove me to get in my car that day and track her down in Arizona.
Maybe it was all those I have above, guiding me to where I needed to be, I'm not sure. Just thinking that someone is looking out for me is so new of a feeling I’m not sure what to do with it. But I believe there is a reason Lil was brought into my life. She reminded me of what true friendship really feels like.
And it brought me to you… You hate me right now, I understand that. Hell, I'm not sure why I keep sending these emails. I don’t even know if you’re reading them… But in my heart, I have to explain myself. If only to help you understand why I couldn’t open up to you when you so freely gave me all of who you are.
Something I will cherish for the rest of my life, no matter how long it may be. One day I hope you can find it within yourself to forgive me.
All My love
Selena
Leaning back in my chair, I run my hands through my hair clutching it as I look to the ceiling and scream, “Fuck you.”
Chapter 6
Mythic
“Goddammit Lena, I told you-you needed to stay unseen,” Enterrador yells as he pulls me in from the balcony.
Turning around quickly I sidestep him putting myself just out of his reach.
“What's wrong,” he asks as he steps towards me. His face falls no longer scowling at me with rage in his eyes, but instead wide-eyed with worry as he sees the tears flowing down my cheeks.
