“Just remember that I’m keeping my eye on you.” He gives me a stare that would make weaker men quiver, he’s forgetting that I’ve done time, he has nothing on some of the bastards in there.
I close the door in his face. He’s a fool if he thinks he’s going to get me to back away from Michelle, not only is that woman hot as hell, she’s also one of a kind. Even if I weren’t Dustin’s old cell mate, I would be watching out for her. She’s got something about her that screams vulnerable but when you speak to her, she’s far fucking from it. That woman is kind and caring but I have no doubt she’s a hellcat when she wants to be. I’d love to get her riled just so I can see the fireworks. I wouldn’t put the moves on her for the fact she’s too fucking good for me, she’s too good for anyone. I’m going to make sure that she’s safe and looked after.
Today’s been great, I’m going to enjoy working here. While I was inside, I didn’t think I’d be able to get a decent job. Not many people are welcoming to convicted felons and well when they find out you’ve been behind bars for assault they won’t want to know you. Never did I expect to walk out of those gates and into sheer heaven.
When Michelle left me in my apartment, which is pretty fucking sweet, she told me she’d stocked the fridge and pantry. What she failed to mention was that she had stocked the whole apartment. Hell, she even had clothes in the closet for me. Some are too big and others small but fuck if I care, she’s probably the sweetest chick I’ve ever met.
I showered as soon as I could. Being able to take my time and relax instead of staying on guard at all times was incredible; I guess I’ll be having moments like this for a while. I’m dreading when night falls and I’m alone. No doubt the dreams will come. The shit I’ve seen in that God forsaken place will never leave me nor do I want them to. They’re there to remind me of the many reasons I’ll never be returning.
Opening the fridge, I try to figure out what I want to eat. There are so many choices. In prison, you ate what you were given, now I eat when I’m hungry. The only problem is, I can never make a decision. The phone in the apartment starts to ring. I don’t even hesitate in walking over to the coffee table to answer it, someone may need something.
“Hello?”
“Great you’re there. I need your assistance. I’ll see you in a few minutes.” I don’t manage to get a word in before she hangs up. Damn, what does Mrs. Ethington want?
Sighing, I put the phone down and quickly make my way back into the kitchen, I grab a candy bar and leave, dreading this. That woman loves Michelle and I reckon that she’s going to give me a lecture. The walk up the stairs doesn’t help; I’m imagining the worst, her using her cane to hit me as she tells me to stay away from Michelle. I eat the candy bar on the way up and finish as I hit Mrs. Ethington’s floor. Just as I raise my fist to knock, the door flies open and I’m face to face with Mrs. Ethington.
“Ah, you’re on time, come on in.” She ushers me through into her apartment. I can smell meat and potatoes, it smells like lamb, and it makes my stomach growl. It’s been a long ass time since I’ve had a proper home cooked meal. I think it’s the first thing I’ll do when I get a paycheck after paying bills, I’ll go to a diner and get a cooked meal. I certainly won’t be able to make one, I could never cook. Hell, before I was sent down I used to burn water.
Glancing around, I notice that Michelle was right. I do have a smaller apartment. In Mrs. Ethington’s apartment, she has a dining area/kitchen through a door off the sitting room. She has an extra room, one that I would never have used anyway. If you use a dining area, you’ll need to have guests and I’m not a real people person.
“Mr. Lawrence, this won’t become a habit. I thought seeing as it’s your first night here and away from that place that I’d make you some food.” Although the words coming out of her mouth are kind, the expression on her face is anything but. She’s frowning accompanied by the sternest stare I’ve witnessed from a female.
“Thank you, ma’am.”
“Wash up and I’ll serve dinner. The bathroom is through there.” She points toward the other end of the apartment and I’m stunned, never in a million years did I think she’d be inviting me to dinner, actually I wasn’t invited more like summoned.
I do as she asks and wash up. Her apartment is homely. She has pictures on the wall of what I presume to be family. Young children and their parents smiling back, it looks like they’ve been having family portraits done since the kids were babies.
“That’s my Peter, his wife Monica, and my grandbabies; Kammy and Noel.” The proudness in her voice is something you’d expect of a loving mother, it makes me realize I never once heard my mom talk that way about me or Tina. “Let’s eat before it gets cold.” Her voice is uneasy and hesitant. I feel for her, she’s trying to be nice but then she doesn’t know me and what I’m capable of. All the information that she has is that I was in prison but not what I was in for.
We sit in silence as we eat. The longer the silence ensues the more agitated I become. Mrs. Ethington appears worried, her eyes downcast as she eats. After all she’s done for me, I owe her the truth, “I put my brother in law in hospital, that’s why I was in prison.” I tell her and she lets out a huge breath as she sags back in her chair, relief evident to see in her eyes. “He backhanded my sister, and I lost it. I beat him until he was unconscious and then I resisted arrest.”
She makes a tutting noise. “Did he die?”
I shake my head. “No, ma’am.” Part of me wishes he had, then Tina would be away from him but there’s a tiny part of me that understands that if I had killed him, I wouldn’t be the man I am today. I’d be dark; my mind wouldn’t be how it is. I’d be lost in a world where good doesn’t exist.
“That’s a shame. What’s happened to your sister?” She’s completely relaxed around me and I’m grateful. “I hope she packed up her shit and got the hell out of dodge!”
“No, ma’am. She stayed with him and went along with him pressing charges against me. She told the cops it was an accident.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. We can’t choose our families, but you can choose those you surround yourself with. Would you like some more?”
“Yes, please.” It’s full of flavor; it reminds me of my grandma’s cooking. She always managed to make the best dinners.
“Do you have any other family besides your sister?” She seems to be in her element now that she’s at ease around me. I have a feeling this won’t be the only questions she’ll be asking me.
“Yes, ma’am, my parents are still alive.”
“Why did you decide to come here instead of going home?” She’s not prying to be nosy, she’s curious. I’d be the same.
“My parents disowned me after I beat Henry to a pulp. My mom told me that I shouldn’t be getting involved in other people’s marriages.” I stare down at my plate, not wanting to see pity in her eyes. I don’t need it. Yes, it fucking hurts that my family picked an asshole over me but I’ve figured I’m better off without them.
“Awful, I don’t know what’s going through their minds when they do things like this but it’s atrocious. It’s not like you went out and murdered someone in cold blood. I’m sorry that you have assholes as parents. Stick with me kid, you’ll be fine.” I glance up, she’s got a smile on her face, an actual smile on her face, and she winks at me.
“Mrs. Ethington, I’m thirty-one years old, I’m hardly considered a kid anymore.” I smirk at her.
“Oh boy, I bet you’re a hit with the ladies? That smirk of yours! It won’t work on me, I’m far too old and too beautiful.” She actually cackles while I try my hardest not to recoil. The thought of me and her isn’t a pretty one that’s for sure. “Don’t throw up my dinner. I worked hard on that.”
“No, ma’am I have a sterner stomach than that!”
Her face falls and gone is the laughing woman of only a few moments ago, her hand clutching her sweater as her eyes become watery. This is a side to Mrs. Ethington I’ve not seen yet
, she looks very fragile. “No doubt you have kid, no doubt! The things you must have seen.” Shaking her head, she gingerly gets up from the table and walks to the fridge, when she returns, she has a pitcher of iced tea in her hands and gone is the worry. She’s composed herself.
“Mrs. Ethington…”
She holds her hand up, stopping me in my tracks “It’s Ethel, dear.” She’s definitely warmed up to me. I’m taking this as a win. I never thought I’d have anyone on my side when I came out. Now I have her, it’s definitely a win. “Carry on,” she instructs me as she pours out the iced tea into both our glasses.
“Yes, ma’am, I was going to say that while yes, I made the mistake of hitting the asshole.” Shit. “Sorry, excuse my language. I also learned a lot while I was inside. You’re right, I’ve seen things. Those things I’ve seen and heard, they’re going to be the reason I never end up back in there.” It’s a vow I’ve made myself. I would rather die than end up inside again. I don’t think I’d ever survive if I did.
“You’ve a good head on your shoulders. We’re going to get on like a house on fire. Just as long as you keep out of my panty drawer.” She’s a hoot! God, we’re definitely going to get along.
“Darn it.” I try my best to act as though I am devastated while trying not to laugh.
She cackles again. “Yes, kid, we’re going to get along just fine. Now, I do my shopping every Friday, I usually take the bus but it tends to be a long day. If you wouldn’t mind, would you be able to take me?”
“It would be an honor, ma’am.”
“Liar, but I appreciate the sentiment. Now, would you like some dessert? I’ve made peach cobbler.” Damn, she’s gone to a hell of a lot of effort for someone she doesn’t know. That right there is true kindness; it’s a trait she shares with Michelle. She doesn’t even wait for my response; she’s up and out of her seat ready to get the damn thing.
“Yes please, ma’am, I’ll never turn down food.” As she brings the cobbler to the table I thank God that this is a one off, if it weren’t I’d be running every day.
“What about your family Mrs. Ethington, do they live around here?” I ask curiously, she’s got to be in her late seventies, early eighties. Most people that age are in care homes or living with family. Mrs. Ethington doesn’t look like the type of lady who’d be in a care home. I can see this woman being a hundred and still being the same as she is now.
“My Peter lives in Augusta. It’s where he met Monica. He’s a detective down there, a pretty good one too. Monica is a paralegal, she’s extremely bright, and this stays between us, I’d deny it till the day I die; Monica is like the daughter I never had. We may not get along all of the time but I love her as if she were my own.”
“Ma’am, your secret is safe with me. What about your grandkids, how old are they?” If this was me prior to being sent down, I wouldn’t be asking these questions, hell I wouldn’t be saying a word. I tended to just go about the day and keep myself to myself. I still tend to do that but while I was inside, I realized that life is short. Mrs. Ethington has gone out of her way to be nice and get to know me. I should do the same, it’s no hardship, and she’s actually quite funny.
Her face lights up and as much as she loves her son and his wife, from the smile she has on her face I can tell that her grandkids are the apples of her eye. “Let me get some photos for you to see,” She rushes out of the room leaving me sitting here to devour this cobbler, damn, it’s better than my grandma’s.
She comes back in with a picture frame, her hand wiping the imaginary dust of the glass as she shows me it. “That there is my Kammy, that girl could talk the hind legs off a donkey, she’s her momma’s daughter with all that sass. She’s eight, going on eighteen.” She smiles as she shakes her head, she wouldn’t have it any other way. “Then there’s my Noel, the image of his dad when he was that age. He’s six and he loves spending time with his grandma.”
“I have no doubt you’re the coolest grandma around.”
She puffs out her chest, proud that she’s a cool grandma, there’s no doubt about it, that woman spoils those kids. It’s written all over her face how much she loves them. “That I am kid, that I am. Anyone would be lucky to have me.”
“Ma’am, that is one hundred percent true!” I stand and bring the dishes to the sink, I start washing them, and she is audibly huffing behind me. “Ma’am, are you okay?”
“I’m dandy. I was just wondering why I couldn’t be twenty years younger. You’re a lot different from what I thought you’d be.” I turn to her, my expression masked. “Now don’t be getting offended.” She waves her hand dismissively at me. “All I meant was that you come across brooding and angry, but when I get a glimpse of your eyes I see the soft side of you.”
I gasp. “Soft side?”
She laughs. “Yeah, I’ve seen the soft side to you. You could have said no to having dinner with an old lady, but you didn’t. You didn’t need to tell me why you were in prison but you did and you don’t need to wash the dishes, I’ve been doing them since I was a young girl but I know if I told you to stop you wouldn’t listen!”
“No, ma’am, I wouldn’t. You went to all the hard work of cooking the meal, the least I can do is do the dishes. You we’re uncomfortable around me, I knew if I told you what I went to prison for it would either make you relax or you’d kick me out. Either way, you’d be relaxed,” I tell her honestly, it’s something I respect, she was honest with me and I’ll be the same back. There’s no point in lying and there’s definitely no way this lady would let you get away with it. “Take a seat and relax while I finish this.”
As soon as I’m finished, she speaks. “I’m keeping you, you’re probably wanting to rest.” That’s my cue to leave. I can tell she’s tired; her body is sagging and her eyes heavy.
“Thank you for a wonderful evening Mrs. Ethington. I truly appreciate the effort you went to.”
“You’re very welcome. Thank you for keeping an old gal like me company.” She walks me to the front door.
I lean down and give her a kiss on her cheek. “You’ve been a great date.” Heat rises in her cheeks. “Goodnight, Mrs. Ethington.”
“Goodnight, Trent.” As soon as I begin to walk down the stairs, her door closes and the latch clicks on. She’s safely behind a locked door.
Walking into my apartment, I make a quick dash into my bedroom stopping to sit on the bed so I can change into a pair of shorts. The silence is deafening. I turn on the TV and turn the volume on low. Some comedy show’s on and I have no idea what it is. I’ve no interest in it. It’s on in hopes of having noise will help me sleep. Lying on the sofa I close my eyes, instantly it’s like I’m transported back to lock up. The screams are what get to me the most. The screams of eighteen-year-old Johnny just before he hangs himself. I fall into a pitiful sleep, knowing that the dreams are still going to come.
I pass Trent’s apartment on my way out for a run, I can hear his TV on, and I’m wondering why he’s up so early. It’s not even six a.m., and yet here I am on my way out. I couldn’t sleep. The anger of what Ric did yesterday is still so strong and to top it off I listened at the door while he warned Trent off me. He had no right to do that. If I want to be friends with someone that’s my prerogative. Damn that man and whatever fucking trip he’s on, he can take it somewhere else because I have no time for it.
I run on the beach every morning, it’s a punishing run and that’s what I need. Turning on my iPod, I select my running playlist, it’s a mixture of Pop, R and B, Rap, Rock, basically anything with a good beat that can get me moving. I let the music take over and my feet start to pound on the sidewalk as I jog around the complex to the beach. Running first thing in the morning sets my day. It clears my head and gets rid of my anger or worries.
I ran the length of the beach, and on my way back, I notice someone sitting on the sand, the closer I get to the figure, the more of them I can make out. It’s Trent! What’s he doing sitting here? As I approach, I slow my run to
a jog. He’s watching me the whole time. I come to a complete stop where he’s sitting and begin to stretch. “You’re up early.” My words come between pants.
His eyes are heavy, and he lets out a little yawn. “Yeah, couldn’t sleep. Then again, I could say the same thing about you. I heard you leaving, are you always such an early riser?”
“No, same as you really. I couldn’t sleep.” I try my hardest not to stare but he’s wearing a T-shirt and I was right, he has full sleeves of tattoos. God, the designs are so intricate: Celtic designs, I see a cross along with writing that I’ve yet to make out. It’s truly a beautiful design. I turn my attention back to him; otherwise I’d be staring at his muscular tattooed arms all day.
Concern shadows his face. “Is everything okay?”
Sighing, I sit down beside him. “Not really. I heard what Ric said to you last night.”
“Michelle, don’t let that bother you. I’m certainly not, no one tells me what to do. Well except you.” He laughs, and I feel that laughter in my soul. “You’re the boss of me now! Now in all fairness, if you tell me to leave you alone I will.”
Something inside me settles, almost as if I have become whole, but that’s never going to happen. Being around Trent is comfortable, calming even and that’s something that never happens to me. Usually I keep people at arm’s length because I don’t want to be around them, because I can’t be around them but with Trent it’s the opposite, I want to be around him. That scares me.
“Yes, but I feel bad because he’s bugging out about something and I have no idea what. Ugh, it pisses me off that he thinks he can talk to people the way he spoke to us last night. Anyway, I’m ranting. I wanted to apologize.”
His deep brown eyes are focused on me, specks of whiskey brown floating around in them, the sun catching them to make them look as though they’re sparkling. “Michelle, you have nothing to apologize for.”
Finding Home Page 3
