The house comes into view, and I begin to shake. I’m trying my hardest to keep the car under control. It’s hard though, my shaky hands along with the tears that won’t stop falling it’s making it almost impossible. I don’t know how I manage to park the car but I do, barely. My body trembling as I just sit here watching the house, unable to move. The fear has me gripped in a chokehold. I want to turn around and go back. I want to be in Trent’s arms and hear him call me baby just one more time. My cell rings again, and the temptation to answer it is so strong but I have to be stronger. Seb is counting on me.
I swipe away the tears and take a deep breath. I need to calm myself, I need to be strong when going into the house of my nightmares. My cell is blowing up with texts, I’ve seen Maggie, Heller, Peter, and Trent’s names pop up with each incoming text message. I bang my hand against the steering wheel, and it sends vibrations up my arm. The guilt is hitting me hard, they’re worried about me, and it could have been avoided had I called someone. Had I told someone that he’s here. Instead, I did what he told me to do, I can’t risk anything happening to Sebastian, I hope if we make it out of this, that they’ll understand.
Getting out of the car, the front door swings open, and standing there with a smile on his face is Riccardo. I slowly walk toward him, every step is hard, my body doesn’t want to go, and it’s like I’m dragging myself toward him.
“Michelle no!” Sebastian calls out, and I turn to see him staring out the window; he’s bleeding. His left cheek is a shade of red and black. He even has a cut from his right eyebrow to his chin. The left eye is swollen and appears to be closing.
“What have you done to him?” I demand, horrified at the cuts and swelling on my brother’s face.
Riccardo laughs that creepy ass laugh. “Nothing he didn’t deserve. He should learn to keep his mouth shut. Hurry up and get in here before I do even worse to him.”
I quicken my pace, my legs feeling like they’re made of lead but I need to see Seb, make sure he’s okay. His face is bad, I hope he can see out of his eye. As soon as I enter the house, Ric leans in and plants a kiss against my lips. I cringe backwards, wanting to get away from him. No, he can’t do this; I don’t want him to do this. I dodge him and rush into the sitting room.
Mom is sitting on the sofa like nothing is happening, whereas Seb rushes toward me his arms outstretched, as soon as he’s within touching distance he wraps me into his arms. “Michelle, you shouldn’t have come. He’s going to hurt you,” Seb whispers against my ear.
“I couldn’t leave you alone to face him.” I look over at Mom, and she’s got a nasty grin on her face. “What the hell is Mom doing?”
“I don’t know, she’s fucking crazy.” I’d laugh if we weren’t stuck in this shitty fucking situation.
Arms pull me backwards, and Seb’s face hardens. My little brother isn’t so little anymore; he’s at least six-feet and that facial expression he’s sporting is one I’ve seen on Trent, Heller, and Peter. My brother is pissed, and he’s not afraid to show it.
“Get off me. Stop it.” I try to wiggle out of his hold but he’s too strong.
His breath is hot against my ear. “I’ve not even begun yet,” he tells me cryptically but lets me go.
I rush over to Seb, who instantly stands in front of me. Protecting me and my heart hurts. I’ve missed so much of him growing up, and it’s my fault. I should have owned up about what happened. If I did then maybe the cops would have understood and I might not have had to spend life in prison as Dad is.
“Now, we’re going to play a game. Are you ready?” Ric says like he hasn’t got hostages in the house. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bloody knife. My hands instantly grip Seb’s T-shirt, my fear at an all-time high. “Rules of the game are as follows, I ask the questions, and you answer. You lie, and someone will be carved like a Thanksgiving turkey.”
I gasp what the hell is wrong with this fucker? Who the hell comes up with games this sick?
“Is that understood?” He shouts causing me to jump. “I’m fucking talking to you.”
“I understand,” both Seb and I say in unison. Seb is somehow calm, and I wish I had an ounce of his strength.
Ric waves the knife in the direction of the sofa.
Seb’s fingers curl around my hand, putting himself between Ric and me he leads me toward the sofa. The tremors wrack through my body as soon as I sit down. I get glances from both Mom and Seb, they can feel my body shaking. Seb squeezes my hand, it’s his way of telling me that it’s going to be okay. Mom on the other hand, her lips curls with disgust as her eyes have so much coldness to them that I have to turn away.
“First question,” he says behind me. I close my eyes hoping that he doesn’t ask any questions that I can’t answer. “Do you love that asshole?” He’s talking about Trent, but I can’t answer him, it may set him off even more. “I’m talking to you.” My head flying back into the sofa as he pulls my hair.
“Yes.” It comes out shaky; I’m scared more now than I was when Eddie was hurting me. I suck in a sharp breath waiting for his next move.
He releases my hair like it’s burned him. When he comes to stand in front of us I want to cry. That bloody knife is in his hand, and it finally clicks where that blood came from. The cut on Seb’s face; Ric sliced him. God, why did he have to hurt Seb? He’s never done anything to him, up until today, I don’t think they’ve even met.
“Why is your dad in prison?” Why is he asking this? There’s no need to bring this up, he did a background check on me and in turn found out why dad was in prison.
“He shot a man, he was drunk and stupid.” The bitterness in Seb’s voice makes me glance at him, he hates Dad.
Ric’s eyes narrow, then he starts to laugh. “Oh, this is priceless.” He walks over to Mom, who’s staring straight ahead, like she’s trying to imagine she’s anywhere but here. “Golden boy over there has no idea what happened, does he?”
Mom shakes her head, her eyes on the wall in front of her.
“What happened? Someone tell me what the hell is going on?” Seb asks glancing around at us all in confusion.
“How about you tell him?” He points the knife at me, and I swallow hard. “Hmm, why don’t you? It is your fault after all.”
“What’s your fault?” Seb’s voice is hard. God, I could lose my brother on the same day that I finally got him back. “Michelle, what is he talking about?”
“Do you remember Eddie?” Mom flinches when I say Eddie’s name, maybe she’s got a conscience after all.
“Vaguely. I remember that you didn’t like him, anytime he came over you hid.” Oh my God, I didn’t realize anyone noticed that, I felt as though I was alone, and nobody cared. “What’s going on Michelle?”
My eyes fill with tears, and I glance at Mom, she’s finally paying attention to us. Her eyes pleading with me not to say anything. “Tick-tock. We don’t have all day.”
“Eddie used to do things to me. Dad found out.” That’s all I say, I won’t tell anyone that Eddie raped me, I can’t. I’ve only admitted it to Trent and that’s because he’s earned my trust and because he deserved the truth.
“Michelle.” Seb’s voice is much like Trent’s when he first found out, laced with pain and frustration. They can’t do anything about it, and it makes them pissed. “Mom, did you know about this?”
“I knew when your father killed him,” She lies, not even a hesitation as she tells him.
“Liar!” Ric shouts, in two long strides he’s in front of Mom, his knife against her neck. “I warned you about what would happen if you lied. Last chance.”
“Mom you knew before?” He asks disgustedly, Mom nods slowly, the knife still at her neck. “Then why the hell didn’t you stop it?”
“Ah, our Shelly will tell us that one won’t you?” Ric smiles at me as he moves away from Mom, and I shiver in disgust, why did I ever let this man get close to me. I’m so fucking stupid. “So Michelle, why didn’t your mom stop it?”
Closing my eyes, I swallow harshly. “She and Eddie were having an affair. The first time Eddie touched me I told Grandma, Mom told me to stop lying, that I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone that ever again.”
“What the fuck? Mom what the hell, why would you do that?” Seb shouts as he gets to his feet.
“Sit the fuck down or I’ll start slicing!” Ric shouts, and instantly Seb sits back down. “Now, tell your children why you are a selfish bitch and let a man molest your daughter.”
A car slowing down outside gets my attention, and hope rises in me. Trent’s here? That hope is shattered when the car’s headlights flash as it speeds up and drives off. All that’s going through my mind is that I may never see Trent again.
Nerves hit me as Tina’s house comes into view, not only am I meeting my nephew today, Michelle’s leaving the damn apartment without me being there to protect her. I had my cell in my hand about to call Tina and cancel but Michelle gave me a glare and told me if I canceled she’s going to be mad, that she’s capable of taking care of herself, and not only that, Maggie is going with her and she’ll be bringing her gun. That’s the only thing that appeased me, Maggie having a gun. Both Heller and Peter told me that she’s got a good aim and that she can protect Michelle and Bryson if the time called for it.
Putting the truck into park, the door opening catches my attention. Tina’s standing at the door with a small boy who’s bouncing on his feet with excitement. As I get out of my truck, my eyes wander back to the door. The little boy is nothing like Henry. Instead, he’s Tina, from his dark hair to his crooked smile. As I walk toward the house, his voice drifts toward me. Though I can’t make out all the words, his excitement is so contagious I smile.
“Mommy, do you think he’ll play with my dinosaurs with me? Oh, we can watch Paw Patrol. Can we, Mom, please?” He’s still bouncing on his feet, this time he’s pulling on Tina’s top as he pleads with her.
“How about we wait for him to come inside, and then we can decide what to do. Okay?” Tina tells him calmly but I can see the smirk on her face, she’s probably been listening to this all day.
“Okay, Mom. Can I have a cookie now?”
“Not yet Mark, what did I tell you?” It’s weird hearing Tina’s mom voice, but it suits her.
“You said that when Uncle Trent comes I can have a cookie, he’s here now, Mom!” I chuckle, he’s a smartass.
“Trent.” Tina welcomes me, her arms wide open, and I walk into them. She gives me a hug as I reach down and ruffle Mark’s hair. His eyes are wide as he stares at me. “Mark, are you going to say hello?”
He runs into the house and I wonder what I’ve done wrong. “He’s a little shy. He’s been talking about seeing you all morning, and then as soon as he does he runs off. Don’t worry, he’ll be talking your ear off in no time.” I follow her into the house, and it’s small but she’s made it a home. Walking through the hall, the walls are painted a beige color, photo frames have pictures documenting Mark’s growth.
I can hear Mark talking to someone, and I glare at her. She lied to me. “Dad’s here!” I say through gritted teeth.
She has the grace to look ashamed. “I know you said you didn’t want to see him but he’s your dad Trent.”
I don’t say anything because if I open my mouth right now I’m going to say something I’ll regret. Walking into the kitchen, Dad’s sitting at the table with Mark on his knee. Their heads together talking as if they’re conspiring, seeing this, makes me angry. He was never like this with Tina and me; he was distant and cold.
“Grampy, this is Uncle Trent,” Mark informs him as he runs up to me. “Uncle Trent, this is my grampy.” He pulls on my hand, pulling me toward Dad. Part of me wants to turn around and walk the fuck away but I’m here for Mark, and that means I have to suck it up and talk to him.
“Trent, it’s good to see you.” Emotion fills his voice. He’s changed a lot since the last time I saw him; his face has aged, deep wrinkles are now prominent, and his hair is gray. The last time I saw him he had a full head of brown hair.
“Dad.” My tone is bitter, full of anger.
Dad flinches.
“Uncle Trent, sit. Mom’s made cookies,” Mark cries happily. Obviously, he’s dying to get his hands on those cookies. I take a seat at the opposite end of the table to where Dad’s sitting. The bigger the distance the better in my eyes. There’s an awkward silence as Tina doesn’t join us, instead she’s busying herself making coffee. I want to call Michelle but I’ve called her twice already, and she’d kill me if I called her again.
“Here baby,” Tina tells Mark as she places a plate of cookies on the table.
Mark’s cheeks heat with embarrassment. “Moooom!” he cries. “I’m not a baby.” His eyes dart to me; he doesn’t want me to think he’s a child.
“Oops, sorry!” Her eyes sparkle with laughter, and it’s great to see her so happy. Especially after what she went through with that asshole of an ex of hers.
Mark reaches for a cookie, he glances at it in his hands before looking at me. He seems to be having an internal debate about something. “Here Uncle Trent.” He passes me the cookie before snatching another one from the plate, taking a huge bite of cookie. “They’re my favorite.” Chocolate is smeared across his face as he grins at me.
“I haven’t had cookies in a long time.” The only time we used to have them when we were younger was when our grandmother used to make them, Mom hated cooking and baking. Whenever we had a school bake, she’d buy some from the store.
Mark lets out an exaggerated gasp. “You haven’t had cookies? But cookies are the best!”
“They sure are, dude,” I take a bite of the cookie, and I know why they’re his favorite. They’re so damn good.
His eyes light up as I call him dude. He smiles widely at me as he snatches another cookie off the plate. “Mom, can we watch Paw Patrol now please?” This is the second time I’ve heard him mention Paw Patrol, and I have no idea what the hell that is.
“Once you’ve finished eating, we’ll go into the sitting room and then you can put Paw Patrol on.” She doesn’t sound too enthusiastic about it.
“Uncle Trent have you seen Paw Patrol before?” He seems to be at ease around me. “It’s my favorite.” Everything so far is his favorite.
“No I haven’t seen it. What is it?”
“Oh, it’s the best.” He’s his mother’s child that’s for sure. The way he’s so enthusiastic about everything, is Tina to a T! He shoves the rest of the cookie into his mouth and wipes the crumbs away with the back of his hand. “Ready,” he announces. “Come on, Uncle Trent, let’s go, it’s Paw Patrol time.” He tells me in a sing-song voice.
I follow him into the sitting room, and Tina turns on whatever the hell it is. He’s transfixed already, eyes glued to the TV. “What the f…uc… um…what is this?” I dodge the F bomb as little cartoon dogs come on the screen.
“Oooh Mom, Uncle Trent said a bad word,” the little rat says. “That’s five dollars, thank you.” He holds out his hand, palm up, expecting me to put five dollars into it.
“Mark, he didn’t say it, he almost said it,” Tina explains.
I smile when Mark rolls his eyes. “That is Chase,” he says pointing at the TV and the cartoon dog who’s wearing a fucking police cap. “That’s Rubble.” Again, pointing at the TV, this time the dog’s wearing a yellow hard hat. “Oh, there’s Zuma.” He points at the orange one. “There’s Rocky.” He points to the green one. “That’s Skye.” He turns his nose up at her, probably because she’s a girl and wearing pink. “He’s my favorite!” He points yet again, this time to a dog that’s dressed as a fireman. What the hell? Who the hell came up with this?
“What’s his name?” He’s mentioned all the others except that one, glancing at Tina and Dad, they’re both trying not to laugh.
“That’s asshole.”
Wait, what? Did he call that dog an asshole? In a British accent?
“Mark, his name
is Marshall,” Tina tells him, tears in her eyes as she tries not to laugh. So Mark can’t pronounce Marshall. That is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time, a four-year-old saying asshole has made my day. “Last year he couldn’t pronounce Marshall and called him asshole and it’s stuck ever since. He’s not allowed to say it but as you’re here, he believes he won’t get into trouble. Well buster, you’re wrong.”
“Son, how about we go outside and talk?” Dad asks, and I really don’t want to but I know that I have to. He’s a big part of Tina and Mark’s life and as I want to be a part of their lives too, then the animosity that I feel toward him needs to be put aside.
I stand up and ruffle Mark’s hair as I walk past him. I don’t want to have this conversation in front of Mark. It’s clear to see that he loves Dad, and I wouldn’t want to make him upset. Dad follows my lead, and we walk into the kitchen. “Is there anywhere we can talk where we won’t be overheard?” I ask as I can see Mark staring at us.
“Let’s go out back.” He leads me out the door, and I wait for him to say what he needs to. “I’m sorry, I let you down when you needed me the most.”
“Why did you?” I’m calmer than I expected to be.
“Honest answer, I was a coward. I knew if I went against your mom, it would mean I would lose my wife and in turn everything I had spent years building.”
The way I feel about Michelle, I’d choose her over everything, except for my child. “You chose Mom over me. So why did you choose Tina over Mom?”
“It wasn’t like that. Trent, not supporting you, it was the biggest mistake I’ve made in my life. The only thing I’ve regretted.” He swallows hard and looks out into the back yard. “To have you think that I put Tina’s happiness over yours makes me so upset.”
Finding Home Page 18
