by ES Richards
Luc had never been one to accept failure. It was bred into him from his youth – he was all-star varsity track and field growing up. He earned a scholarship to college and truly believed he would’ve gone all the way if it wasn’t for the knee injury he suffered. Bouncing back from that had been the hardest thing Luc ever had to do, but through it he had discovered his next passion in life and his career in the police service developed.
From being committed to his training in his early twenties and then following a career path where discipline was of the utmost importance, Luc always made sure he held himself to a very high standard. Today he couldn’t help but feel like that standard had slipped. One voice in his head reminded himself that he couldn’t shoulder all the blame alone, that he was a part of the team and that the Rikers weren’t ever going to play easy, anyway. But the other voice – the voice that was always there in the back of his head even when he thought everything had gone right – that voice told him he wasn’t good enough. It told him he should’ve done more and that he should’ve been better. The second voice had tormented Luc throughout his entire life, the constant battle to not succumb to it and the great depression it brought with it was ever-present, even though he never spoke about it. No one knew that second voice existed, but for Luc it was always there. It was the devil on his shoulder, pushing himself to always better himself and doing everything it could to ensure that he didn’t fail. Because if he did, there would be consequences.
When Walter pulled the cab up outside the cave, Taggy looked over at Luc and could tell instantly that there was something heavy on his mind. She’d seen him close up like this on a couple of occasions before and she hated to see him do it. Placing a hand on the back of his shoulder from the seat behind, Taggy asked Luc to stay for a second as Walter and Lin both climbed out of the car.
“What is it?” Luc turned around and asked her, anxious to get inside so he could explain things to Henry Packham himself.
Taggy inhaled slowly, she was still learning how to broach this sort of subject with Luc. She didn’t want to offend him, but knew as his friend, that she needed to check in. “You know you can’t blame yourself for what happened with the Rikers, right? They were never going to make a deal with us. I’m pretty sure it was all just a game to them from the start.”
“Come on, Taggy,” Luc looked away in shame. “You don’t need to do this.”
“Yes, I do,” she argued back, shimming into the middle of the back seat so Luc couldn’t avoid her gaze. “I know how you get Luc. This wasn’t your fault, and I can’t watch you retreat into your shell and suffer the consequences for something that you couldn’t control. We need you now more than ever, you can’t let this defeat you.”
The little voice in Luc’s head laughed at him, proving that what Taggy was saying was right. He was already letting it win, but he knew he could do better, the fight for New York City was far from over yet. “It’s not like that, Taggy.”
“Then tell me what it’s like, Luc. Explain it to me and let me help you. You’ve got to see you’re not in this alone. Whatever you’re going through, whatever you need, I’m here for you.”
“Thanks,” Luc smiled, trying to use Taggy’s positivity to help him overcome the voice inside of him. It had worked in the past, with someone else. They had been able to muffle the voice almost completely, applying layers and layers of tape to its mouth so it could no longer speak. That had worked, and Luc had been happy. But when they died in the riots, that voice had started to return. It was too soon to say whether Taggy could be the person to make it go away again, but Luc could see there was hope there. He knew he could count on her and for now, that was going to have to do.
“Can we talk about it later though,” he asked. “I want to get inside and speak to Henry, we need to let everyone know what happened and make sure everyone is prepared for what is to come. We have to get this city back with or without the Rikers’ help.”
“Okay,” Taggy nodded and made to exit the cab. “But we will talk about it later, I’m not going to forget about this.”
“Alright,” Luc laughed, “we will. Later though, come on.”
Inside the cave, news was traveling fast about the almost-alliance. Walter and Lin had given Henry a brief update, though to their credit, had left most of it to Luc, allowing the man to recall his story. When Luc and Taggy arrived, Walter and Lin peeled off to go and help where they could around the cave. The people were preparing for what could very well be an all-out war for their city. Not everyone was going to fight, but everyone was going to help in some way and things were moving fast inside the cave as unique groups were formed for people with varying skillsets. Before long, Walter had found Austin and his family again, helping divide them up into the teams that needed them the most.
“I’m happy to be on the front line,” Austin boldly declared, never one to back down from a challenge. “I doubt I’d be much use anywhere else.”
“Are you sure?” Dante whispered to him, “this isn’t exactly your fight.”
Walter and Samuel both kept their eyes down and mouths closed as they pretended not to hear what Dante had said. Austin reacted immediately though, taking a step closer to his husband and giving him an alarmed look.
“How is this not our fight?” He hissed back at Dante in frustration, ready for a repeat of the same fight they’d had earlier that morning. He understood that Dante was still upset about what had happened with his mother, bitter even that they hadn’t made it to the cave in time to actually save her, as Charles became livelier and in better spirits with each passing day. He also knew that Dante was concerned about Bowie, but the way he saw it, the only way their son was going to have a decent world to grow up in was if they did what needed to be done now. Not everyone was going to be as willing as he was, but he was surprised how against things Dante seemed, his husband practically needing to be told to help.
“I mean we didn’t ask for any of this,” Dante replied quietly, seemingly up for another argument but too embarrassed to raise his voice. “We didn’t create any of this drama.”
“Dante,” Austin levelled himself, trying to keep his voice steady. “This is our home now. We can’t pick and choose what we’re involved in. If this city gets blown to pieces by the Gov and the people all end up suffering as a result of it, we won’t just be able to move elsewhere and forget about it. This isn’t about whose fight it is or who’s on whose side – it’s about what’s right and we need to do our part.”
“Aren’t you worried about Bowie? Don’t you think this is just putting him in more danger?”
Austin took in a deep, slow breath and counted to three in his head. “This is what is best for our son, if you can’t see that, then I don’t know how else I can help you.”
“Austin. Austin!” Dante called after his husband as the man walked away, in need of some time to clear his head. Embarrassed and ashamed, Dante hung his head and slumped into the seat beside him, refusing to make eye contact with anyone else.
Walter and Samuel stood awkwardly nearby, both having tried to maintain casual conversation and avoid the conflict, but both well aware of what had just happened. Samuel looked after his friend and wondered whether he should go to him, but from what he knew of Austin, a couple of minutes just to cool off and slow his heartrate down was the best thing for him right now.
“You were in marketing, right?” Walter asked Samuel, trying to alleviate some of the tension and move things along. “I’m going to be working on some sort of propaganda I guess, I’m not really sure what to call it. Do you think you could help?”
“Yeah, of course,” Samuel nodded. “What sort of thing do you mean?”
“Well the Gov are spreading lies about us,” Walter explained. “They’re effectively convincing everyone that these zones were set up because of what we’ve done, that we’re responsible for the bombs and that if we’re taken out, things will run a lot smoother in the city.”
Samuel nodded again. “I’v
e heard some stories about that – this is the ultimate rebel alliance now I suppose. If they’re firing out propaganda against us, it makes sense that we have something to retaliate with. My father always taught me that words were the most powerful thing.”
“I’m not sure how much I agree with that exactly,” Walter laughed, “but we can certainly take a shot at it. I’ve got some ideas in my room; do you want to come and have a look?”
“Sure,” Samuel nodded, his eyes first drifting over to where Dante sat in silence and then across the room to where Austin stood with his hands on his hips. “Just give me a second.” Stepping away from Walter, Samuel moved over to his friend and casually stood beside him, staring up at the same wall in silence. “This ain’t easy, huh?”
Austin let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. “I don’t know what to do, Samuel. He keeps fighting me at literally every opportunity, I don’t understand what I’ve done wrong.”
“Nothing,” Samuel reassured his friend. In the weeks they’d spent together journeying toward Poughkeepsie to get to Dante and Bowie, Austin had shared many of his deepest concerns with Samuel. Being at the end of the world together had brought them closer than any number of years of friendship could’ve done. Samuel knew the difficulties Austin was facing in his marriage and he knew it wasn’t easy for him right now. A lot of what kept he and Dante together linked back to Bowie, but it was their son that created a lot of their troubles as well. Being a parent was not an easy task and it was a thankless one, Samuel just wanted to make sure that Austin knew he didn’t have to deal with it all on his own.
“Dante clearly just needs a bit more time than you to figure all of this stuff out, you’ve got to remember he didn’t experience the first couple of weeks in the same way as you or me. There’s still a lot of this disaster that he’s yet to experience.”
“I know,” Austin nodded, “it’s just sometimes I feel like he resents me for being back here. Like he believes he and Bowie would’ve been better off if they’d stayed in Poughkeepsie.”
“Maybe in times of anger or confusion he feels that yes,” Samuel replied. “But I’m sure if you asked him for an honest answer, he’d say that being with you was the most important thing. You’re a family – what matters is that you’re together, not where you are.”
“I don’t know if he’d agree on that one.”
“He would,” Samuel confirmed. “Things aren’t easy now for anyone and we all have different ways of coping. I think Dante just needs more time and you need to give him that. In the end it’ll all have been worth it, you’ll see.”
“I hope so,” Austin said. “Where’s he gone anyway?”
Samuel turned and looked back in the direction of where he’d left Dante and Walter. Dante was nowhere to be seen, while Walter approached the two of them casually. “I’ve sent him to check out the triage area,” Walter explained when he arrived. “He’ll be a great deal of help there with his medical training. It’ll help to keep his mind busy too.”
“Thanks,” Austin smiled, grateful for the helpful words of both Samuel and Walter. “I suppose we all better start doing something useful now – what can I do?”
“If you head downstairs and out toward the courtyard, you should find Luc and Taggy,” Walter directed Austin. “I think they’re heading out to do a recon of somewhere soon, if you wanted to tag along with them?”
“Yeah, that sounds good,” Austin nodded with a smile on his face. “Are you two not coming?”
“We’ve got some propaganda to create,” Samuel grinned back. “Need to stop the people from believing we’re the bad guys.”
“Good idea,” Austin agreed. “Just don’t go delivering any news bulletins this time, okay?”
Samuel laughed and punched his friend playfully on the arm in response to the sarcastic comment. “I’ll try,” he scoffed. “Be careful out there, okay?”
“Always am,” Austin said with a wave. “See you later.”
Chapter 15
Getting out into the city was exactly what Austin needed right now. His head was all jumbled up with confusing questions and uncertainty about what the future would hold for his family; he was glad they’d come to the cave but right now, he just wanted to get away from it. When he eventually located the courtyard and saw Luc and Taggy slinging heavy packs onto their backs, he couldn’t have been happier.
“Hey,” he greeted them, “Walter figured I’d find you here. What’s going on? Do you need any help?”
“Can always use an extra set of hands,” Luc grinned. “We’re just about to set out to another one of these zones. Apparently, there’s one where the tripwire isn’t working, so we want to make sure it’s deactivated first of all and then see if there’s any way we can take advantage of it.”
“Sounds good,” Austin replied, “is it alright if I tag along?”
“Of course,” Taggy nodded. “If you’re sure you’re up for it?”
Austin laughed. “Just hand me the gear,” he smiled, more than ready for whatever the day had in store.
Luc and Taggy were both incredibly easy to get along with. The three of them walked away from the cave and into the city casually, chatting about what seemed like nothing and yet managed to fill the time with ease. Austin learned a bit more about the cave and how it had been founded, informing them about the propaganda that Walter and Samuel were going to try and set up.
“That’ll be good for us,” Luc commented. “I don’t understand how anyone is siding with the Gov right now, but clearly whatever they’re saying to the people is working.”
“I think it’s just got to be a resource thing,” Taggy replied. “They’ve got access to everyone and a straightforward way of communicating with them through the rationing they’re providing. I mean if you look at it from that perspective, then they’re not the bad guys at all. I mean sure, they’ve set up these zones and such, but they’re also providing food to hundreds of people every day. They’re not all bad.”
“Oh jeez,” Luc teased Taggy. “You’re not going soft, are you?”
Taggy laughed. “Don’t be stupid, I’m just saying it’s easy to see the other side of the argument. The Gov are helping some people when you think about it.”
“The issue is,” Austin added, “it’s just not everyone. They’re too selective in the people they help, so sure – they provide rations to a few hundred people every day – but what about the thousands that are starving? They think they’ve done their bit because they see a few kids smiling at the end of the day, but what about all the ones who have lost their families or worse? What about the kids who are too afraid to go to sleep at night, or the ones who don’t even make it through ‘til morning?”
“Bang on, pal,” Luc clapped Austin on the shoulder. “You’re definitely one of us, aren’t you?”
The three of them laughed at Luc’s last comment, but the reality of the short exchange hung in the air and reminded them why they were doing what they were. Austin thought of his son, but he also thought about Miles. The teenager was back at the cave, joined up to the movement with a full heart and a determined mind. He’d been reunited with a few people he’d known in his neighborhood, though sadly his family was still nowhere to be seen.
It was cases like Miles’ which inspired Austin to be a part of the fight. The kid had been living on the streets by himself when Austin happened across him, he’d been bold and funny from the start, challenging Austin and questioning what the man was doing. Once Miles had opened up though, Austin had learned what a hard few weeks he’d had and was inspired by how courageous the kid was and how resolute he was to keep going. It would’ve been easy for him to give up and feel sorry for himself, but Miles had kept fighting and believing that things would improve.
“That’s it, over there,” Taggy pointed out the barricade as they reached the aforementioned zone. “Weird there’s no one on guard, maybe they haven’t heard about it yet?”
“I doubt it,” Luc replied, “it’s just a rum
or that Billy told me. I’m not even sure how we check it out.”
“Do we risk an explosion?” Taggy asked, looking around and up at the buildings the zone was set up between. “We’d need to check out the area first.”
“Maybe. We need to get a closer look.”
The three of them walked closer, the lack of presence from the Gov in the area at the moment working to their advantage. Luc had heard earlier that day that there was a zone nearby which didn’t seem to be working – apparently people had passed through it on a number of occasions without setting the bombs off. Now this wasn’t unheard of, as it wasn’t particularly hard to avoid the tripwire. But in this case the wire had apparently been pulled and nothing had happened.
Austin had a first-hand experience with the zones himself from his journey to the cave. It hadn’t been challenging at all for his group to each step over the tripwire one by one, avoiding the dangerous explosives on either side. It seemed sort of stupid that they had been rigged like that, but Austin reminded himself that they weren’t designed to catch out individuals, they were created to stop a stampede.
“Wow, look!” Taggy exclaimed as the three of them inspected the roadblock up close, bending down and picking up the broken tripwire. “It’s torn.”
“Careful with that,” Luc instructed her, “just because it’s not in one piece doesn’t mean it couldn’t still be live. Don’t pull on it or anything.”
“Well, duh,” Taggy rolled her eyes and shook her head. “It looks like it’s frayed almost – I don’t think this was just cut by someone, maybe chewed by an animal?”
“That’s weird,” Austin remarked, walking across the line and searching for the other piece of tripwire. “And where’s the rest of it? Surely it won’t have just been that?”
